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From today's featured article on Wheels [Feature an article]

Oh-mi-gawddd, my stupid chemistry professor is making us write this stupid presentation and essay on like, an element? Anyway I chose Berkelium because it sounds like UC Berkeley, GOOOOOOO BERKS! Okay, Hayleigh, write all this down, k? K.

Berkelium, symbol Bk, atomic number 97, is one of those squares in that poster on the science classroom wall. It is, like, liter-uhh-ly one of those elements that only exists because scientists were bored and had nothing else to do. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that the Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament was founded by the Duke of York? (Pictured)
... that bestiality just got 15 percent more legal?
... that Africa's space program has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'?
... no, you didn't! Stop lying!
... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
... that dihydrogen monoxide can kill you, specially if you breathe it?

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In the news on Wheels [edit]

"Nyaaah, it's not worthless, mommy, I WANT IT!"

Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland (Pictured)
Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy
Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win
Starmer announces plans to make tweeting illegal in the UK
Trump given yet another Nobel Peace Prize for ending war he started 3 hours ago
Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs
UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday
Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches!
ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America
North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island
Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up."
6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong
Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
The New York Yankees now fucking suck

Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate • Bills Mafia drinking themselves to death • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day

Recent deaths: Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Buffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenure • Denver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons

Not dead: Eleven

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas ~~City~~ "Chiefs" • Aaron Rodgers' career • Bills' Super Bowl window

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On this day [edit]

January 27: International Bring Your Exotic Pet To Work Day

1776 - Thomas Jefferson, suffering from writers' block, brings his pet negro Toby to work, who writes the remaining 96% of the Declaration of Independence for him.
1933 - Adolf Hitler vows to destroy all Jews when his pet Jew sleeps with his girlfriend.
1945 - President Harry Truman let his Komodo Dragon press the big red button, authorizing the use of nukes.
1947 - Mahatma Gandhi takes his pet rhinoceros to a rally. Scares the British into leaving India.
1974 - The city of Brisbane gets flooded after Gough Whitlam's pet koala broke the river's banks.
1995 - Osama bin Laden trains his pet Orangutan to use AK47s and RPGs. Becomes mascot for terrorists all over the world.
2010 - Howard Zinn and J.D. Salinger die on the same day. They have a long-winded conversation about literature outside the Pearly Gates, boring and annoying everyone else in line.

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Picture of the day on Wheels

I wonder what they're trying to tell us this time...

Image credit: Kaizer the Bjorn
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Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

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This Uncyclopedia on Wheels is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,097 articles on Wheels. Many other parody wikis on Wheels are available; some of the lamest are listed below.