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Welcome to Uncyclopedia on Wheels,

From today's featured article on Wheels 

Microwave.jpg

The microwave oven is a rectangular box, usually white in color, which is used to heat up random objects such as tin foil, doll heads, frogs, and other small creatures. Microwave ovens are found in kitchens all over the world, and have been featured in thousands of online videos made by middle school aged teens. Microwaves have also been recognized as the head chef of many establishments, such as Olive Garden. Often called a nuclear oven as opposed to a conventional oven, this infernal device could only be conceived by the cruelest minds in the DEEPEST PITS OF HELL, most undoubtedly conceived by such abhorrid demon philosophers as Heinrich Himmler, Jack the Ripper, and Al Gore, in a fashion that Lucifer's own damned, radiating evilness served as a rudimentary template of unholy culinary design, the microwave is an ingenious yet simple device used to burn food around the edges, turn bacon into rubber, make biscuits into hockey pucks, burn water, create civil unrest in African countries, stale a newly opened can of Guinness, cancel your favorite TV sitcom, interrupt your wireless internet connection, excommunicate the Pope, and explode hamsters by zapping them with rays of concentrated evil. Rays of concentrated evil cause atoms to become angry, thus raising their temperatures. When turned on, a microwave oven goes bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Drowning.jpg
  • ... that I started drowning two minutes before typing this? (Pictured)
  • ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
  • ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
  • ... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?
  • ... that this in not a DYK entry?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
  • ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
  • ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"

In the news on Wheels 

Trumpangy.jpg
"Nyaaah, it's not worthless, mommy, I WANT IT!"

Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate • Bills Mafia and Josh Allen drinking themselves to death • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016

Recent deaths: Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Buffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenure

Not dead: Eleven

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas City "Chiefs" • Broncos' Super Bowl hopes without Bo Nix • Aaron Rodgers' career • Bills' Super Bowl window

On this day 

IT HAS NO GAMES

January 24: Plain Text Day

·41 AD - Roman emperor Caligula is skewered to death by his Praetorian bodyguards after he forgets their birthdays ten years in a row.

·1848 - A miner finds a whole vein of Bitcoins near Sacramento, California.

·1941 - Neil Diamond is born looking exactly like he does right now.

·1961 - A bomber carrying two H-Bombs crashes in North Carolina, irradiates state, no one notices as North Carolina is already filled with glowing mutant people.

·1970 - Computer nerds invent the computer, use only the colors green and black since they have no fashion sense.

·1972 - Japanese soldier found hiding in the jungles of Borneo, twenty-seven years after World War II ends: asks, "Is my mother dead yet?"

·1984 - Steve Jobs personally invents the Apple Macintosh (Pictured), which revolutionizes computing by introducing the color gray and something called a UI. Sounds lame.

Picture of the day on Wheels

Canadian Special Forces
 In order to quell the ongoing strife in the Mideast, the Canadian government has elected to send their elite peacekeeping forces into Afghanistan, Iraq and Mos Eisley.

Image credit: NewMess1ah
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Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation on Wheels, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects on Wheels as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia on Wheels is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,109 articles on Wheels. Many other parody wikis on Wheels are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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