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From today's featured article on Wheels 

Gingerbread Ed.jpg

Edward Christopher "Ed" [insert singular 3rd person subjective pronoun]eran (born 17 February 1991 - died NEVER) is a Canadian-British singer-songwriter, actor, owner of a bar in London, and Rupert Grint lookalike. He is also known as "Teddy" on Instagram. Additionally, he is considered to be the "one true god" of his home country, and even the entire world. Asides from that, he's known to the public as the "Ginger Jesus". Ed is arguably a fad of the year 2017 and also a British nationalist. Even though his career was meant to fade away at the end of the 2010s, he manages to still make music to this day, much to everyone's annoyances. He is known to have a lot of chart hits, especially in the UK, including "The B Team", "Untitled (Take Me Into Your Loving Arms)", "Nothing Happens After Two" and most infamously, "I'm Back & I'm Desperate". However, they are most likely plagiarized, but he still gets away with it. His private life isn't very well known, thanks to having no surveillance cameras in his home and the fact that the address to it is changed every day. Despite having a male given name, Ed somehow manages to have female pronouns as part of his surname, so, logically, he would've instantly became a "she" right away. Oh fuck, how do we go by them again? (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that this in not a DYK entry?
  • ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
  • ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
  • ... that goldfish are neither gold nor fish?
  • ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
  • ... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal?

In the news on Wheels 

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1977-2026

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over

Recent deaths: Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured) • Robert Duvall • Jesse Jackson

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again

On this day 

The British's very own version of Jesus.

February 17: Sheeranist New Year (United Kingdom)

  • 1991 - Famed British musician Ed Sheeran is born. Brits rejoice that their Messiah is finally with them.
  • 1996 - Gary Kasparov loses a game of chess to a computer, like that's never happened to anyone before.
  • 2008 - USA bombs some country after the military finds a few extra bombs hiding in an old pair of pants.
  • 2017 - Denmark is officially recognized as a mistake and erased from history.
  • 2026 - You finally forget about your miserable Valentine's Day, only to be tormented by this reminder.

Picture of the day on Wheels

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 The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it.

Image credit: Serge Billault
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Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation on Wheels, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects on Wheels as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia on Wheels is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,063 articles on Wheels. Many other parody wikis on Wheels are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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