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From today's featured article on Wheels [Feature an article]

Glorious Turkmenistan was one of the poultry republics that broke away from the USSR and, despite what partial nations claim, it has a long and glorious history; as long and glorious as that of Germany or the Ottoman Empire. Turkmenistan was the predecessor state to the Turkmen Empire before Turkmenistan won the Tatar War. The Tatar War was a large scale conflict where Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow used horses to remake the Mongol Empire. Unhindered by his physical death on December 22, 2006, Turkmenistan continues to be ruled by Glorious President-for-life-and-afterlife Saparmurat Niyazov known locally as the Turkmenbashi or Great Leader of the Turkmen. It is Niyazov who made Turkmenistan the best nation the world has ever known during the happy years of his mortal presence as Glorious President. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that it's a surprisingly simple process to starting your own religion? (Pictured)

... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal?
... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic?
... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!

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In the news on Wheels [edit]

For the first time in years, no US presidential candidate has obtained a single [electoral] vote.

2024 U.S. election cancelled due to absence of electoral votes, anarchy likely to follow (Pictured)
TikToker Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs"
Springfield infant arrested in second Trump shooting
Obama to dead people: "Don't boo, vote!"
Repeatedly haunted astronomers change the name of Betelgeuse
Saw XI's poster design changed again
2024 Presidential election too close to call for the third day running
President Biden apologizes for no apparent reason
UnNews endorses Kamala Harris so the real news doesn't have to
- Conservative UnNews contributor rage-quits over this, then rejoins days later when he gets bored
Donald Trump enlists former NFL problem child Antonio Brown, introduces Trump Fries
Fire-type Pokémon Typhlosion faced with rampant sexual harrasment charges
10 out of 9 people unable to use a number line
David Duke endorses Jill Stein, claims Trump "not racist enough"
Doctor: Kamala Harris not elderly white man with dementia
Rapper and rapist Sean "P. Diddler" Combs admits to baby oil addiction
Joe Biden "accidentally" endorses Trump on Instagram
Lon Chaney and son endorse Kamala Harris
Lucy makes surprise appearance in fighting video game
- And on SNL!
16 Takeaways on why news stories these days are dominated by takeaways
Florida Man tries and fails to get Trump shot again. Nobody cares this time, not even Trump.

Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election • Aaron Rodgers screwing over the New York Jets • The New York Yankees' World Series win drought, courtesy of the Dodgers
Recent deaths: Liam Payne • The chances of a One Direction reunion • Yahya Sinwar • Phil Lesh • Eurovision Song Contest • Quincy Jones • The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • Your fantasy football team's playoff chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Coldplay

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On this day [edit]

November 5: Remember, remember, the fifth of November: Explode The Government Day (Britain)

1605 - The Parliament building fails to explode.
1854 - Anonymous inventor skinned while testing early hydraulic barber chair.
1900 - Despite widespread panic and rumors in proposition, Big Ben doesn't explode, but the Prime Minister does.
1984 - Despite the Brotherhood's efforts, Big Brother is not wounded in a suicide bombing. Lets thank him for increasing our chocolate to 20 grams!
1987 - Margaret Thatcher's imminent Silent But Deadly reaches critical mass and explodes in her intestine.
2022 - Some guy wearing a mask in London blows some shit up, rioting doesn't ensue (it's England NOT France)

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Picture of the day on Wheels

El cazador que hace trofeos de los hombres—The demon who makes trophies of men.

Image credit: Mhaille
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This Uncyclopedia on Wheels is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 38,287 articles on Wheels. Many other parody wikis on Wheels are available; some of the lamest are listed below.