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From today's featured article on Wheels [Feature an article]

For every 10 production workers a company has, there needs to be at least one employee who stands there with his arms folded and watches them. However, in modern times, it's not uncommon to have a single yet highly devoted control freak to supervise scores of employees. HowTo: Be A Production Manager is the perfect guide for anyone who finds themselves thrown into this lucrative position through nepotism, extortion or influential friends.

A Production Manager essentially acts as the liaison between the office staff and the dregs of society known as production workers. The unpleasant part of the job is that sales and management are able to use you as the focal point of their rage, due to the inherent responsibilities of the position, and the traditional purpose of the Production Manager is to transfer that abuse to the bottom of the employee food chain. When you play your cards right, everyone will be fighting amongst themselves and the winds of blame shall never touch your sails. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured)

... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
... that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?

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In the news on Wheels [edit]

Artistic impression of the new tanks.

Trump ought to create Nazi tanks, with the help of Elon Musk (Pictured)
Support our fake album and win a free Palestinian!
The Philadelphia Eagles steal the NFL's script and prevent the Kansas City Chiefs from 3‑peating
- Philadelphia will burn to the ground as a result.
- Taylor Swift also begins writing her new breakup song for Travis Kelce; it goes something like "Dreamed of a 3‑peat, but you fumbled the play – Lost the Super Bowl and me the same day."
Ye has officially lost his fucking mind for the millionth time
Donald Trump announces grand opening of the Sierra Gaza
Biden announced as new Bond after signing with CAA
Trump Taken audition leaked
Kendrick Lamar wins five Grammys AND performs Not Like Us at the SuperBowl to over 100 million people, much to Drake's dismay
Smokey the Bear revealed to be cause of LA fires
NASA headquarters explode as major star goes on break

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrants • Taylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • Eagles fans rioting and eating horseshit in celebration, again

Recent deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • David Lynch • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright • The Kansas City Chiefs Dynasty and Patrick Mahomes's legacy • A One Direction reunion

Upcoming deaths: Philadelphia • Travis Kelce's sham relationship with Taylor Swift and his career • TikTok, for real this time • Bashar al‑Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse

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On this day [edit]

February 23: Vin Diesel Saying the Word "Family" Day

1455 - The Gutenberg Bible is first printed, God brags that he is now a published author.
1923 - Werner Heisenberg plans to describe the uncertainty principle to his peers, but is unsure if they'll like it or not.
1941 - Scientists first create Plutonium, but instead of getting cool superpowers they just get cancer and die.
1947 - The International Organization for Standardization is founded to make Americans feel insecure about the customary system.
1999 - Kurdish leader Abdullah Öcalan is sentenced to death by Turkey due to mustache jealousy.
2015 - Vin Diesel (Pictured) says the word family so many times it doesn't even sound like a word anymore.

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Picture of the day on Wheels

After tiring of bourgeois racing events such as MotoGP and Formula One, Valentino Rossi enters the competitive world of Potato Sack Racing

Image credit: Sonje
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This Uncyclopedia on Wheels is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 39,080 articles on Wheels. Many other parody wikis on Wheels are available; some of the lamest are listed below.