Main Page on Wheels

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia on Wheels,

From today's featured article on Wheels 

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You are wasting this internet site's time. You should be writing something, but instead you are just sitting there, waiting for it to entertain you. You could even be the Time Magazine Person of the Year. Don't you have any sense of responsibility? How can you live with yourself? Think about all the times you've laughed heartily at some passing rejoinder in the forums, guffawed mightily at a clever turn of phrase on your talkpage, or even politely smiled at some article during your favorite Uncyclopedia program: HumorSearch. Don't you think you owe it to this wiki to put in at least a semblance of effort to return the favor? You should cease and desist all extraneous and benign activity and write an article.

Okay, that was incredibly rude, mate. Firstly, I think you should be the one writing the article, seeing as you are the one who bloody gives a damn. Secondly, by caring about what I do with every second of my precious time spent on Uncyclopedia and forming an essay on what I should be doing, you have wasted more of the common people's time than I could ever imagine. Thirdly, how can you live with yourself? You think yourself funny, don't you? Well I don't. You are an idiot and have problems. Bugger off.

What? Who says "bugger" besides Captain Price? Probably some British creeper. British creeper, whoever you are, you need to "bugger" off, you filthy "wanker"! (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that Big Bird was the guest of honor on a special Thanksgiving episode of Sesame Street? (Pictured)
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
  • ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
  • ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?

In the news on Wheels 

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Too bad you can't customize this in the original.

Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein Files

Recent deaths: The MetroCard • Stranger Things • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Buffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenure • Denver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons • Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!!

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce

On this day 

RACHEL!!!! STOP WRITING MATH PROBLEMS FOR 8TH GRADERS AND GIVE ME BACK MY KIDS!!!!

February 6: Nihilism Day

  • 1489 - Nothing truly happens, for life is bereft of all meaning.
  • 1555 - What is even "meaning"? But a futile attempt to give essence to what is without it?
  • 1644 - We are but things, mere atoms, floating in a miasma of angst, seeking out pain to fill a never-ending hole. A hole... of pain.
  • 1709 - Where is God? He is nowhere. A marketing gimmick by the, uhh, bead companies, to sell beads.
  • 1882 - You know what else is bereft of meaning? Family court. Family court, yet another "institution" meant to bring order in an order-less world.
  • 1905 - Rachel! Let me see the kids! Goddamnit Rachel I can't even see their faces!!! You whore!!! Rachel!!!
  • 1941 - Just the weekends, Rachel, please, just the weekends...

Picture of the day on Wheels

Chocolate Hitler
 Chocolate Hitler is "...very yummy," says four year old Katrina.

Image credit: Splaka
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Other areas of Uncyclopedia on Wheels

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation on Wheels, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects on Wheels as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia on Wheels is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,111 articles on Wheels. Many other parody wikis on Wheels are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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