Main Page on Wheels
From today's featured article on Wheels
Worshipped by some, denied by others , UnNews brings you this exclusive interview with the one and only God. Where did we come from? Where did we go? Whatever happened to Cotton Eye Joe? What makes the Almighty Creator tick? We hope to find out these things and more in this unprecedented UnNews event.
UnNews: What can I say, God, if I may call You so, it’s a pleasure to have You with us today. This is a real step up from last week’s guest, a morbidly obese kid that almost scored an on-air on American Idol.
GOD: Well, I’m glad to be here. And “God” is fine. Tack on “Almighty Omnipotent” if you wish.
UnNews: Well, Almighty Omnipotent God, I must say you really look a lot like I imagined. The robe. The long white beard. The wise, stern countenance. It’s all there.
GOD: This physical presence you are now visualizing is no more than a projection of your image of Me. You better be making Me look good!
UnNews: Uh, oh yes, trust me; you’re looking hot, God. George Clooney’s got nothing on you. Look out ladies!
GOD: Enough with the empty flattery. Let’s get on with this, shall we? (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Christmas was cancelled in 1984 after an unfortunate accident between Santa and a Boeing 747? (Pictured)
- ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
- ...that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?
- ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
- ... that I am inside your walls?
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
In the news on Wheels
- Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison" (Pictured)
- Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever
- Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile
- Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury
- Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill"
- United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins
- Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
- Trump joins in for threesome, blows load
- Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out
- Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
- Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone"
- Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
- THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)
Recent deaths: Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable • Jimmy Swaggart • Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota • Texas flood victims
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game
On this day
July 13: Surreptitiously Masturbate Near A Sleeping Stranger Day
- 1921 – Sinead O'Connor is arrested for indecent exposure in a coma ward.
- 1945 – The Manhattan Engineering District achieves its first major success, giving the ability of flight to a medium-sized mouse.
- 1987 – The United States Supreme Court rules that disciplining your monkey near a sleeping stranger (pictured) is unconstitutional.
- 2003 – Stunningly gorgeous tennis sensation Martina Hingis stuns her fans by announcing her retirement. Her fans cry for days and refuse to eat.
- 2005 – Uncyclopedia viciously and unfairly deleted by extremist Wikipedians.
- 2009 – The Uncyclopedia Anniversaries break the fourth wall by telling you to get a job, you lazy git!
Picture of the day on Wheels
Artist's depiction of the 2011 Fukushima Daichii Nuclear Power Plant Disaster. What it really looked like off the coast of Japan.
The Great Wave Off Fukushima. color woodcut. 1823, 1930, 2011-12. Part of The Thirty-six Glows From Plant Daichii series by 250 year old Ukiyo-e (and recently loli) artist Katsushika Hokusai. The Great Wave of Fukushima is part of a groundbreaking new series of remastered prints that comprise the (evidently immortal) artist's comment on both the tragedy of the recent disaster at Fukushima and what he (not exactly a traditionalist himself in his younger days) believes "is representative of the cultural degradation, excess, and perverse fantasy of Japanese today - as well as some floating sushi." |
Other areas of Uncyclopedia on Wheels
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing on Wheels
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules on Wheels no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing on Wheels
- Requested articles – for inspiration on Wheels, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users on Wheels
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans on Wheels
Sister projects
-
UnNews
News on Wheels unfit for print -
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia on Wheels -
Undictionary
Words on Wheels are important -
UnTunes
Noise and stuff on Wheels -
UnGames
Kill a lot of time -
HowTo
Allen wrench on Wheels not included -
UnBooks
Read at your own risk -
Unquotable
Impress your friends on Wheels -
Uncycloversity
Spring break all year -
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred on Wheels -
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant on Wheels -
UnScripts
We break legs on Wheels -
Why?
Because we said so -
UnReviews
Opinions on Wheels galore -
UnVoyage
No travel on Wheels necessary -
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation on Wheels
Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia on Wheels is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,293 articles on Wheels. Many other parody wikis on Wheels are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
- More than 10,000 articles: Português · Boarisch · 日本語 · Polski · Plattdüütsch · Italiano · Español
- More than 1,000 articles: Français · Suomi · Dansk · Deutsch · 한국어 · 正體中文 · 汉语 · Русский · Norsk (Bokmål) · Bahasa Indonesia · Česky · ไทย · Esperanto · Ελληνικά · Nederlands · Galego · עברית · Svenska · Slovenčina · Magyar · Українська
- More than 100 articles: فارسی · عَرَبِيّ · Türkçe · Català · Norsk (Nynorsk) · Српски / Srpski · Hrvatski · Lietuvių · Latina · Tagalog · Български · Simple English · Latviešu · Mirandés · Македонски · Română · Cymraeg