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From today's featured article on Wheels [Feature an article]

Harvard Einstein (known professionally as Harvey Weinstein) is an American filmmaker, feminist, philanthropist, political activist, and ladies' man who has produced many breathtaking films. Weinstein is perhaps best known for producing the intellectually deep and dramatic romantic comedy Shakespeare in Love (1998), for which he won an Academy Award. As a member of New York's high society, Weinstein has also won seven Tony Awards.

Weinstein has been active on social issues such as women's rights, mainly helping victims of workplace sexual harassment. Weinstein has also been a longtime supporter and donor to the Democratic Party, including the campaigns of Barack Obama, John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Kamala Harris, and especially John Edwards. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (Pictured)
... that Iran is all set to invade itself?
... that you should invest in chicken stock?
... that Joe Biden stepped in dog shit?
... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl?
... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
... that dihydrogen monoxide can kill you, specially if you breathe it?
... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?

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In the news on Wheels [edit]

SIX SEVEN!

Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" (Pictured)
The New York Yankees now fucking suck
Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes
Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs
Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter
The UK to ban the resale of tickets
Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not?
Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin isn't the best idea
Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • the New England Patriots suddenly being good again

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they might actually miss the playoffs • Weed

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On this day [edit]

November 26: Abstinence Rejection Day

1800 - Chastity belts effectiveness called into question when inquisitive mind finds 'back way'.
1818 - The Republic of Bulimia declares its independence from Spain, rejecting abstinence in favour of a Binge and Purge policy.
1971 - Devout Christian Jim Morrison dies a virgin.
2005 - Avowed abstinence practitioner Britney Spears gives birth through immaculate conception.
2009 - Chastity belts are outlawed and replaced with Chastity lasers.

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Picture of the day on Wheels

The American military routinely uses the elderly for weapons testing, as a way to control population growth and keep the price of prunes low.

Image credit: Original concept: MoneySign. Current version: Bizzeebeever
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This Uncyclopedia on Wheels is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,023 articles on Wheels. Many other parody wikis on Wheels are available; some of the lamest are listed below.