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From today's featured article on Wheels
After gaslighting their followers that the non-existent country of France was a real place, and after stating that Jeffrey Epstein was "my best friend", this horrid Uncyclopedian user has earned their place as one of the most hated Uncyclopedians on the site. It eventually went way deeper than these surface-level facts, however, as it has been revealed that Bad Motherfucker has had a secret history of lying, pedophilia, and even more. These events have escalated so much, that recently, Bad Motherfucker has deleted their Discord account, and alongside it, have left the Uncyclopedian Discord server. So how did this story occur? (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Margaret Thatcher (Pictured) died thirty years too late?
- ...that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
- ... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
- ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to America and her allies?
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?
- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
In the news on Wheels
- Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life
- Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years
- The US government continues to shit itself
- Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake (Pictured)
- BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children
- Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
- Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
- Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland
- Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK
- Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year
- Some mega pop star and her football player boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay.
- NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C.
Recent deaths: Trump's pet sloth • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • The Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • Ace Frehley • Any hopes for a KISS reunion
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career and freedom • Coral reefs
On this day
October 18: International Funk Day (Portugal), Radiation Day
- 0023 - God lost control of the universe yet again, causing countless miracles. Luckily, Jesus thought fast and found an explanation for all those fish everywhere.
- 1000 - Due to linguistical differences in many parts of the world, many people have unfortunately mixed up International Funk Day with International Spunk Day. Kleenex has a field day.
- 1955 - All Hell Breaks Loose in Wittinghermandershire Upon Broohavensmarshington, England when a portal to the dark underworld is discovered by a chimney sweep mistaking an inconspicuous closet door for that of the men's lavatory in a small, inconspicuous pub. The scene of dark beings invading the earth is compounded by the fact that the chimney sweep failed to realize that the "urinal" into which he chose to relieve himself was, in fact, a dark being. And, although dark beings are, in fact, dark beings, they do have feelings too and do not, contrary to popular belief, appreciate being urinated upon by chimney sweeps.
- 1960 - Funk music, Jazz's retarded brother is born.
- 1978 - U.S. President George Clinton puts Portugal under a groove. Portuguese population introduced to blow.
- 2002 - Jacques Chirac is elected in France, funky disco dancing ensues.
- 2002 - Parisians realize how gay Disco Dancing is, rioting ensues.
- 2006 - Kim Jong Il funks the world with Mass Destruction, giving celebration to all of the days' occasions.
- 2557- 25 different types of cheese are discovered on the bottom of the ocean. Scientists are baffled and manage to retrieve 16 of the different types. A German hypnotist later publishes the findings in a kids weekly coloring book; it becomes an instant best seller.
Picture of the day on Wheels
Eugene Krabs stands in awe before his establishment as Donald Trump enacts his wonderful tariffs. Image credit: SystemPhantom |
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