Main Page on Wheels

Welcome to Uncyclopedia on Wheels,

the content-free encyclopedia that anyone on Wheels can edit.
41,052 articles in English on Wheels!

From today's featured article on Wheels [Feature an article]

Aragorn Arrowroot Elessar the Strider is a hero to all of Middle Earth, the royal king of Gondor by bloodline and the husband of Arwen the Lady of Rivendell, daughter of Elrond the Elf, Lord of Long Robe. Born in the Second Stone Age of Arnor which on everyone else's calendar was the period of time in the Third Age between 2931 to 3000. After that everyone was either looking for ways around the long thousand‑year ages and trying to cull them down to something that would fit on the kitchen wall or a journal even when journals during these times were the size of stone slabs or bricks.

Aragorn was trained to be a ninja and a cook. He was the ultimate firewood gatherer and he hated the Ringwraiths. He was also very skilled in the Elven languages of two different tribes consisting of the warrior elves and that of the regular, normal forest elves that just wanted to bake lembas bread and cookies, and do hobbit activities such as drinking and smoking a lot, making babies and getting drunk again, and eating more food, and making more babies and gathering more kittens, puppies, and ponies. Without the hassle of having to be dragged off to some nasty war, getting all dirty. Aragorn could communicate with both factions of elves but the latter was a bit more nervous whenever he'd bring up subjects like patrolling the woods for wraiths. Having a looksee at what's left of Moria. And going to Mordor to defeat a Dark Lord who lives near an angry and active volcano. Legolas and Gimli were really the only ones down with that sort of thing. (Full article...)

Recently featured:

Archive · Vote for featured articles · Purge

Did you know... [edit]

... that Cafeteria food (Pictured) is not generally edible?
... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle?
... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
... that dihydrogen monoxide can kill you, specially if you breathe it?
... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?

Archive · Suggest new entries

In the news on Wheels [edit]

Those poor bastards.

North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island (Pictured)
Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up."
6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong
Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
The New York Yankees now fucking suck
Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes
Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs
Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter
The UK to ban the resale of tickets
Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not?
Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents"
Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros.

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard

UnNews Main on Wheels · Archive

On this day [edit]

December 7: Official Who The Hell Is Spartacus Day

73 BC - Romans (pictured) attempt to figure out who the hell Spartacus is. Little did they know that I'm Spartacus.
1555 - The search for Spartacus continues.
1911 - Elephants were banned from King George and Queen Mary's parade in india. This may have something to do with it.
1931 - Henry Ford makes some important decisions, but he is not Sparticus.
1941 - The movie Pearl Harbor reminds us that women who recently lost their husbands at war will often turn to his brother.
1982 - Mr T (not pictured) claims in his autobiography "Pity the Fool" that he was Spartacus. Historians refute this claim.
1987 - Mikhail Gorbachev and Ronald Reagan get together for mani-pedis.
2005 - Uncyclopedia becomes littered with Spartacus jokes.

Archive · View today · View tomorrow

Picture of the day on Wheels

The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you.

Image credit: Mosquitopsu
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia on Wheels

How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing on Wheels
Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules on Wheels no one follows
Formatting – for help on editing on Wheels
Requested articles – for inspiration on Wheels, or lack thereof
Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users on Wheels
Community portal – for general community shenanigans on Wheels

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation on Wheels, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects on Wheels as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia on Wheels is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,052 articles on Wheels. Many other parody wikis on Wheels are available; some of the lamest are listed below.