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From today's featured article
Albert Arnold "Al" Gore, Jr. (allegedly born March 31, 1948) is purported to be a prominent liberal spokesperson for and inventor of global warming and environmentalism. He is portrayed by the liberal media as an author, a businessperson, former journalist, inventor of the algorithm, and recipient of a scientific prize.
According to Wikipedia, Gore has served as United States Vice President, Senator, and Representative, and has also served as a military journalist during the Vietnam War. However, despite efforts by the liberal media to prove otherwise, there is no completely irrefutable evidence that Al Gore exists. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that guilt tripping junk mail makes up 12% of Africa's GDP? (Pictured)
- ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one?
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
- ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
- ... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder?
In the news
- Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured)
- Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
- Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
- The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
- US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
- Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
- Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
- Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
- Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran
Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, et. al,
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran
On this day
March 5: Jump to the Beat of the Party Line Day (Turkey)
- 1914 - Preparations for the wildest party known to mankind are well on their way
- 1947 - The wildest party known to mankind begins today, death tolls are still rising.
- 1991 - Emperor George Bush, Sr. takes over all of the Americas, except Hawaii.
- 1999 - The party almost stops over fear of the Y2K Bug. Then someone gets a fly swatter. Party continues.
- 2006 - Party nearly ends due to sudden Bird Flu epidemic. Ends with Bird Flu being deported to Britain and the death of Big Bird. Party Continues.
- 2008 - Aliens invade the Eastern Seaboard, destroying the cities of New York and Washington, D.C., party suspended until Will Smith blows up their mothership.
- 2148 - End of the World, the Turks party in Heaven, with Allah, Buddha and Jesus.
Picture of the day
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Though the United States' new strategy in Iraq has proven effective at routing insurgent rebels, it has done little to relieve the stigma of what many perceive as American imperialism. Image credit: Thetoastman |
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