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From today's featured article
Mensa is an international society for individuals whose IQ is in the 98th percentile on any of a number of standardized tests. For readers who will never come close on any such test, what this means is that they are wicked smaaht.
Mensa has about 110,000 members, whereas on a planet of 7 billion individuals, the total number of qualifying candidates would be 140,000,000. Clearly, there are other prerequisites than raw intelligence—namely, the burning desire to tell everyone else about your intelligence.
Mensa members meet on a monthly basis. At these regular meetings, typically in a corner of a restaurant or lounge, they do not exude or even discuss intelligence. Rather, they monopolize waitresses and badger and heckle other patrons until the owner permanently disinvites them. Just brilliant. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Japanese ninjas are among those who have tried to find a way to get across the Great Wall of China? (Pictured)
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
- ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
- ... that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting?
- ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
In the news
- Cicely Tyson demolishes Aaron Paul in Netflix boxing match
- Project 2025 to be implemented in 2026, riots ensue
- The Onion buys InfoWars. Extra true conspiracy theories coming soon!
- Epstein pal Trump picks sex pest pedophile as attorney general... and another sexual assaulter as defense secretary
- Trump picks Led Zeppelin to lead EPA
- Obama smears poop on daycare
- Kardashian and Aniston endorse bestiality (Pictured)
- UnNews publishes official 2024 post-election guide for liberals having to deal with Trump
- Joe Biden named winner of 2024 election, confusion erupts in America
- 2024 U.S. election cancelled due to absence of electoral votes, anarchy likely to follow
- TikToker Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs"
Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons
Recent deaths: Yahya Sinwar • Eurovision Song Contest • Quincy Jones • The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet • American Democrat sea.. err, democracy • Tony Todd
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • The Dallas Cowboys', New York Jets', and Chicago Bears' playoff chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Coldplay • Joe Biden • Donald Trump
On this day
November 16: Feast of Saint Bukkake (Japan)
- 1776 - American Revolutionary War: Hessian mercenaries capture Fort Washington from the Patriots. Startled revolutionaries say, "what the fuck is a Hessian"?
- 1915 - Albert Einstein solves the problem of Uncyclopedia's many inconsistencies and contradictions, which scientists had been trying to solve for centuries. His theory states that in fact space-time is inconsistent, and Uncyclopedia simply follows a geodesic line through it.
- 1960 - Clark Gable passes away. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
- 2001 Elmo (pictured) goes on a killing spree, attacking and consuming 23 children attending a Sesame Street convention.
- 2005 - The annual banquet the Feast of Saint Bukkake was cut short after the star of the feast declared "I'm full"!
Picture of the day
You want surreal? Try wasting four hours a day waxing your 'stache until it closely resembles your entire Catalonian name. That's surreal. Image credit: Imrealized |
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- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 38,330 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
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