Protected page

Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
188 active editors • 40,981 articles in English

From today's featured article 

Orange.jpeg.jpg

Mark Rothko (September 25, 1903 – February 25, 1970) was a Latvian born, American artist who became famous for his color field, abstract expressionist paintings. Since he personally rejected those labels to describe his work and even bristled at the word “abstract”, it’s fair to throw in pretentious avante-garde nutjob as well.

The first achievement of anyone who wishes to become an artist is to break your parent’s hearts by becoming “the special child” who ignores the economic realities of life and forgoes a lucrative or realistic career for the sake of hanging out with other people just like him or herself. Rothko accomplished this pre-requisite during the American Great Depression of the 1930’s and left his mother crying “why why why” many years before the phrase would be popularized by Nancy Kerrigan. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Shoved into stove.jpg
  • ... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured)
  • ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
  • ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
  • ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
  • ... tennis isn't just a game?
  • ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
  • ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
  • ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?

In the news 

Iran hits Tel Aviv.jpg

Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran

Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert CarradineWarner Bros. bidding war • Neil SedakaAli Khamenei

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpWeedDancin' MaduroIran

Undetermined: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

On this day 

Taps starts to play

March 6: Roadkill Appreciation Day (North America & Australia)

  • 3500 BC - In the first recorded instance of roadkill, Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses IV hits a small cat with his chariot. Shameful.
  • 1869 - The first historical instance of so-called "cannibal roadkill" occurs when a horse-drawn buggy strikes a horse pulling a second buggy.
  • 1934 - Hitler runs over a small ferret in his Volkswagen, precipitating his later invasion of Poland.
  • 1962 - Julia Childs releases a groundbreaking roadkill culinary masterpiece titled Treadmarks and Tarragon.
  • 1969 - President Nixon continues the Road Kill bombing over Vietnam.
  • 1990 - Road Kill is officially the new Mystery Meat in school lunches.
  • 1995 - Steve Ballmer runs over my dog after yelling at the top of his lungs "I'm going to fucking bury that dog. I've done it before and I will do it again. I'm going to Fucking Kill that dog."

Picture of the day

Insert image title here, without link
The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it.

Image credit: Serge Billault
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,981 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.