Jan Mayensfield

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Jan Mayensfield (pronouns: he/him) is a minor airport that operates in the Mayen city of Olonkinbyen. It operates with two purposes, the first being a military airport for Mayen battle operations, and the second being an annual paper airplane contest that all Mayens can compete in. Due to the size of Jan Mayen, Jan Mayensfield takes around a fourth of Jan Mayen.

Currently, Jan Mayensfield is the only airport in the world that uses paper airplanes as the major use of transportation at the airport.

A map of Jan Mayen. It includes many important Mayen towns and settlements, including Jan Mayensfield.
A replica of the beer that the Norwegian builders used, from the company Aass Brewery.

History[edit | edit source]

The history of Jan Mayensfield began in 1919 with the initial intent as an military airfield for the Jan Mayen Royal Military. Unfortuantely, most of the Mayen polar bear workers were drunk, so they outsourced their work to the Norwegians, but only temporarily, as Norwegian construction on Jan Mayensfield was cancelled in September 1919, due to the rapid Norwegian change of perspective on the Mayens. Most construction on the airport was cancelled in the 1920's due to the Second Mayen-Norwegian war, but would be recontinued due to the reserve money from the Marshall Plan in 1951.

The airport would be finished in 1952, with two halves—one for the majority polar bear population, and one for the humans. The human side has around twenty-two degrees Celsius, while the polar bear side is around thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit, with also the Flyrestauranten nearby.

Unfortuantely for the Mayens, the Norwegians would intentionally place the airport near the Beerenberg volcano, which would have an eruption in 1971. This, as well with the Mayen Coup of 1971, caused massive instability in Jan Mayen. The airport would temporarily be evacuated, except for the two Norwegians that worked on the airport, which were forced to be stationed at the Flyrestauranten for the crime of putting an airport next to a volcano "for the funny".

Etymology[edit | edit source]

The airport never had a proper name during its construction, therefore the airport was nicknamed "The Mayen Airline" and "The only airport on the island of Jan Mayen that nobody even goes to". It was only until 1952 in which the island The term "Jan Mayensfield" came as a joke by "funny" Norwegians that worked on the airport, who named it after Mayen celebrity Jayne Mansfield.[1][2] Mansfield would be divorced six years later.[1]

Complaints[edit | edit source]

Jan Mayensfield has met complaints due to an issue of the monkey population inhabiting the airport. One customer stated that "there was a monkey fighting me once I got off my airplane... but besides that, the airport was good!"

Flyrestauranten[edit | edit source]

The Flyrestauranten is a Mayen restaurant located next to Jan Mayensfield mostly used by polar bears. It has received reviews stating that the restaurant had "good service" and "good food".

Tourism[edit | edit source]

Jan Mayensfield's number one reason for tourists to arrive at the airport is because it's the only airport in Jan Mayen. The major two days of tourism in Jan Mayensfield is on Mayen National Day on May 6th, and That Airplane Contest Held in Jan Mayen Day on May 7th.

The paper airplane winner in the Annual Mayen Paper Airplane Contest in 2021.

Annual Mayen Paper Airplane Contest (AMPAC)[edit | edit source]

AMPAC was founded in 1986 as a distraction for the Mayen people. It is a conference held in Jan Mayensfield to see who can create the best paper airplane for the year. The airplane that gets the most votes for winning will be placed inside of Jan Mayensfield for everyone to see. After a year, it gets burnt and gets sent to the asphalt.

Notes[edit | edit source]

  1. 1.0 1.1 No, I'm being serious. Look it up.
  2. Jayne Mansfield is also an anagram of Jan Mayensfield.