User talk:Matt lobster/Archive1

Welcome!

Hello, Matt lobster/Archive1, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
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I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

What does de-meme-ing mean?

I am not an admin, but I know what it is. It means getting rid of internet memes, which are popular internet jokes, such as Chuck Norris facts or Zero Wing quotes. These are highly overused, often in an unfunny manner, making an excess of them undesirable. Thus, the need for removal. CaptainKickass 13:00, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

Detailed Files Quotes

I'd like to know why you keep re-editing my two quotes on my Detailed Files article. If these two quotes break some sort of a rule, I'll gladly keep them removed, but for the time being, I'd like to know why these aren't funny to you? I have several people in a discussion group at work who help me with this article, and they too are Puzzled. I'll ask a Sysop if necessary.

Thanks!

-Gustav

RR

'Bout time someone took a duster to 'em...most aren't funny. RabbiTechno 18:25, 27 March 2007 (UTC)

Russian Reversal Philippines

Hi Matt, I have reverted the russian reversal quote in the philippines article. It means something actually, it is pertaining to the biggest scandal involving our President (president arroyo). Filipinos find it hilarious.

Thanks,

--Gilgal1(Talk to me bitch!!!)

Thanks!

For voting for her article, The British Class System, has awarded you: A print of Constable's Haywain. Now your true class will be seen by all.

R.R.'s

Why are you so down on Russian Reversal jokes? I like em..... The Man Of Led 21:39, 3 May 2007 (UTC)

Because they're everywhere, and they're lazy. On the "Things to do" option under navigation, it recommends people go around articles and delete them. Matt lobster 22:37, 3 May 2007 (UTC)

Thank You

Freeze, evil-doer!!!
	You have be some black an For voting on The	en awarded d white cookies Black And White Man
Now sing along: “Ebony, Ivory, living in perfect harmony!”

--herr doktor needsAscalpel  [scream!] 04:08, 7 May 2007 (UTC)

Botox

If you think that's an angry rant, you have led a very sheltered life. Rather than put boxes on things saying they need more jokes, why don't you add some jokes?? Who knows you might even enjoy it?? Dantoller

Thanks for taking the time to leave a message. I put the ICU on because the article just seemed like a nasty rant with no point to it. The Oblong Lobster 14:50, 11 May 2007 (UTC)

And I took the ICU off, because the most experienced admin in Uncyclopedia already had a look at the article in it's current form and had no problem with it... The point of the article was to stop a friend of mine getting botox, which worked.... I have taken the ICU off again...

haven't you got anything better to do with your time??

Nothing Specific. The Oblong Lobster 15:26, 14 May 2007 (UTC)

Just out of interest, did one of the big kids tell you to take it off??

No.....But what's really the point of putting it there. None really. Might as well pass my time by doing some Robotic Dancing instead. The Oblong Lobster 16:47, 21 May 2007 (UTC)

A good point... Now please go back and add some jokes. Don't be shy...If they are rubbish I will delete them. If you do I will add some of my genius to a page of your request..

Thanks

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

For voting for Hodgepodge. Maybe, if we try hard enough, next time we'll get it up and you'll get a full cookie. If you want to help, vote for the new VFH in the sig.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 14:14, 13 May 2007 (UTC)

VFH?

What would you think of running for featured article with Creationist Views on Australia? I'm not certain why, but at least I thought it was quite interesting. On the other hand, there is always still room for improvement with it, but what do you think? --The Dit 13:08, 14 May 2007 (UTC)

Thanks, I don't think I'm particually good at judging my own stuff. But if someone wants to nominate something I've worked on then that's cool. The Oblong Lobster 16:51, 14 May 2007 (UTC)

I suppose it could be held off for a bit until you think you've nailed it. A few things you've changed have made some things funnier but other less so (I thought). For now, we'll bide time. Besides little tiny adjustments, the article may still do with another breakthrough to pack in the punch. Forgive me, but I haven't been very creative now for a long time, so I can't help out at the moment. --The Dit 13:12, 19 May 2007 (UTC)

I agree it needs a new idea to expand it. The Oblong Lobster 13:17, 19 May 2007 (UTC)

Thank You

Thanks for voting for Blandford

Have some special Blandford-style tea.

Luckily you voted for this article. If you didn't you might have found yourself headless down a well

Sorry I'm late here is your tea--SIR T H A T G U Y H U F F E D M E  throw a snowball  12:02, 23 May 2007 (UTC)

Hmmm, yummy, I rub my tummy!

	Herr Doktor has awarded you a pumpkin pie!
	For voting on Gallows Humor "With your stamina refilled, time to work!"

-- herr doktor needsAsample  [scream!] 18:23, 23 May 2007 (UTC)

Hugh Grant

Firstly, I suggest you please sign your posts so I don't have to go through recent changes in order to find out who you are. secondly, the WIP template is NOT a way for you to game the system; that means that it doesn't give you a license to write three lines and then slap that on it as an excuse for it to remain on the system. write something of substance THEN apply the tag, or if you're really too lazy, create the article in your userspace. -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 23:00, 24 May 2007 (UTC)

Thank You!

Thank you for choosing
The Red Pill

You've exhibited the capacity for the
divine truths of existence

(*even if you were originally just trying to shed some poundage before the big cruise).

Much appreciated!! :) --THINKER 03:51, 27 May 2007 (UTC)

Thank you!

So I'm too lazy to make an actual template. Sue me! Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 14:12, 28 May 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!!

The Folgers brand Folgers Corporation
thanks you for choosing
Folgers Crystals

Your commitment to quality confirms that you are definitely not a pussy.

<insert reference to B-52's Rock Lobster here>! :) --THINKER 18:40, 30 May 2007 (UTC)

Global Cooling

In recognition of your contribution toward maintaining a humourous atmosphere on Uncyclopedia. Thank you for keeping Uncyclopedia cool.

Slithy Tove 06:26, 31 May 2007 (UTC)

Thanks

	HEIL LJLEGO!
	Thanks for voting FOR Nazi in VFH. It's good to know where your priorities lie /me steps back and calls the police.

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 15:48, 12 June 2007 (UTC)

BB thanks thee!

Thanks again! (And, by the way, about what you said about the article possibly upsetting those with OCD: I actually have OCD myself, so I can assure you I wasn't trying to upset myself. But I see where you're coming from.) -- CUN PLS VFH (Miniluv•Minitrue•Unsoc) 11:43, 20 June 2007 (UTC)

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU

	The Led Balloon has awarded you a piece of Floridian swampland. They're goin' quick!
	PS: You get this for voting on that UnNews thing I made. Thanks for putting up with my excessive Votewhoring. Stay dry now!

More Thanks

For voting for Hoboeroticism, Codeine bestows upon you: One shiny new quarter. Now you can make a homeless guy very happy.

-- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 10:40, 1 July 2007 (UTC)

Bipolar Bears

Here's two bucks a charming portrait of a bipolar bear for your heartfelt support of manic-depressive wildlife. Bipolar Bears Rule!!

- Slithy Tove 06:27, 5 July 2007 (UTC)

Thank You

Manforman has awarded you a booger...

So you can sell it for a lot of money on eBay.
Your vote for HowTo:Deceive people on eBay is greatly appreciated.

---

Gut Check!

Bile Sluggish? Can't Fight the Feelin' Anymore? Prettiestpretty thanks for your vote on VFH UnNews:Homeland Security administration declares new "Gut Feeling" threat level

Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 20:32, 14 July 2007 (UTC)

Woah! That's some HOT stackin'!!

The International Stackers Association of America thanks you for your continued support of CUP STACKING! Which, as we all know, is a totally real sport.

God damn it, every time I come here this is all I can think of!! :) --THINKER 00:12, 16 July 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for your vote

BIG MOTHER AND BIG FATHER ARE WATCHING YOU! Though it's cold and lonely in the deep, dark night They can see a Pair of Dice by the Dashboard Light

Slithy Tove 05:36, 1 August 2007 (UTC)

Re. VFD

Sorry about flooding it, I'll leave spaces next time. There's 3 vacaincees now if you want to nominate something--Sir Manforman 12:35, 7 September 2007 (UTC)

Ya rly!

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 14:49, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

Heaps of praise

	The Led Balloon has awarded you a nice, sturdy Wall, and hopes it well help you to hold up your ceiling very soon.
	That's what these things do, ya know. They hold up the ceiling.

Thanks very much for voting! P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:18, Sep 10, 2007

Sorry

Since you and The Led Balloon have been whining on my talk page, I'm deleting my account. I hate it. Nobody views my stuff funny. I mean people I know think I'm very funny and kind, so I don't think that applies here. See you never (unless I come here as an IP) - The guy who should get deleted 18:10, 10 September 2007

That's funny. The Oblong Lobster 22:16, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

What ho!

Looks like someone has nommed British Sitcoms on VFH! And completely unrelatedly Carry On Films too! -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Being British is one of my few achievements. The Oblong Lobster 22:21, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

Thank You

Please accept this offer for supporting HowTo:Deceive people on eBay on VFH--Sir Manforman 21:09, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for your vote! Have a whale!

The UnIdiot would like to award you with a authentic Kansas whale! Because apparently Kansas has oceans now! Treasure it always! Only 789,729 more left! Tell your friends! Thanks for voting on Kansas whaling!

Oblong thankerings

	Necropaxx awards you your certificate of quitting!
	PS: Thanks for learning HowTo:Stop Being a Nerd on VFH.

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 02:08, 1 October 2007 (UTC)

Your VFD vote...

Could you please read the new Uncyclopedia:Bureaucrats article? Perhaps I cna persuade you to change your vote. If not, I apologize for disturbing you (if I have). Conniving 16:02, 7 October 2007 (UTC)

Exercise your right vote please!

Hey yo what's up? If Buster Keaton were still alive he'd like you to vote on his article nominated in the VFH section traffic on voting for it has slowed down so if you could vote For or againstStrong For it Buster will thank you...if he were alive.--Dr. Fenwick 16:53, 10 October 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!

	The UnIdiot wishes to acknowledge you for voting for UnNews:Iran to invade Iran, and hopes that you support Iran's plan to invade Iran.
	The UnIdiot also appreciates you putting up with his persistent whoring!

Thanks again! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:51, Oct 12

I am no sockpuppet

I am not a sockpuppet of Blake C, right? --Mr Blake · Talk · Contributions 13:46, 27 October 2007 (UTC)

Thank you

Thank you for voting for American (species)! As thanks, I wanted to give you an actual species of Americanus, but, as I discovered, human sex slaves are apparently illegal, so this patriotic iguana will have to do. Sincerely, CUN RA Talk to me _

--Acolyte CUN RA My cat is better than Benson ^{talk stalk} 03:31, 2 November 2007 (UTC)

Hey, thanks for voting for Cancer

Aaawww... Matt lobster/Archive1 has been diagnosed with cancer. rectum cancer. Yeah. Incurable.

Have a weird little user template! --  Le Cejak • <-> 22:28, 9 November 2007 (UTC)

Feel the power of science!!

	The Led Balloon has awarded with the gift of sciencey knowledge, because he can already tell that you are smarter than that asshat judge was.
	Thanks for voting, and remember, magic science is all around us!

Thanks for the vote, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 02:28, Nov 12

HowTo:Escape Prison

Hi, I did a rewrite on this and is there a reason you reverted my edit? Originally, I had to revert your edits for two reasons (1), the end is meant to be short, and (2), the abortion section is meant to be short. If there's any other reasons your doing this, tell me, and I hope you don't take this personally--Æ 23:09, 29 November 2007 (UTC)

Wouldn't it completely ruin the point of the article if you only include a single sentence on actually escaping from prison, and it isn't even that funny? Brevity is nice, but you've got to have some meat on the bones if 90 percent of the article is about getting into jail, not escaping. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 23:16, 29 November 2007 (UTC)

The old version isn't really fleshed out nor is it funny, so I had to rv it. The reason this version only had one line, well, I'm to lazy to explain, so read Cajek's talk page for further anaylysis. HowTo:Stop Playing the Accordion (where I got some ideas for my article) also has only one line about no longer playing the accordion. As I said earlier in the edit summary, I'm not done yet, and I'm still expanding--Æ 00:06, 30 November 2007 (UTC)

You've basically made it less funny. I don't think many people would say otherwise. Not only that but you've included an unfunny section where a baby is aborted by a woman getting stabbed in the stomach. It's pathetic. mAttlobster. (hello) 11:15, 1 December 2007 (UTC)