Forum:attention, this forum is being turned into ASBOWAAT

13:35, 24 July 2025 (UTC)

Even I thought that it might be about time for another archive, so... Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ

(vandalize my talk page) 13:36, 24 July 2025 (UTC)

true, but i just wanna get pissed off at somebody this morning

20:18, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

13:37, 24 July 2025 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: I'd like to have a gif in my sig too. May I have a fishbowl on a skateboard? --Fish on skates

15:44, 24 July 2025 (UTC)

The moccasin-wearing Grue is back from his vacation in Arkansas.[edit source]

I have returned. 'Nuff said. Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 22:13, 25 July 2025 (UTC)

And you have lost, too. 07:24, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

Not anymore.

Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 12:35, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

NOT ANYMORE! THE OPOSSUM IS OF HAVINGS TAKEN OVER DA PAGE!

𝕆𝕛𝕒𝕚 𝕆𝕡𝕠𝕤

16:36, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 16:50, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

16:58, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 17:01, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

-Knife Girl 20:00, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

you forgot your timestamp 20:14, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

my browser is being fucking stupid[edit source]

so my browser (on my phone by the way) thinks that the captions below almost all of the blank images are google maps addresses... because L10M4t3r and Caption1 are obviously real world places 20:35, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

I've heard of places with weirder names. Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 20:44, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

oh, like Ugley, England, or Unalaska, Alaska? gergdown, eh (talk) 20:57, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

What about Fugging, Austria? or Penistone, England? gergdown, eh (talk) 20:57, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

Also Truth or Consequences and Middlefart, Denmark. Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 21:02, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

"Fugging" actually used to be called "Fucking" until a couple of years ago when the populace was beyond tired of people stealing all of their road signs, making them rename their entire town 21:05, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

who would steal a fucking sign? gergdown, eh (talk) 21:14, 26 July 2025 (UTC)

People who like stealing signs that say "Fucking" on them. Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 00:18, 27 July 2025 (UTC)

steal fucking signs? I'd say give them privacy. Somebetterusername (talk) 01:46, 27 July 2025 (UTC)

Do signs deserve privacy? Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ

(vandalize my talk page) 14:54, 27 July 2025 (UTC)

hmmmmmm *holds pipe* Somebetterusername (talk) 01:18, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

probably. gergdown, eh (talk) 01:22, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

That sounds like a good Uncyclopedia article idea. An article about how signs deserve privacy. Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 02:39, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

About to travel to Fish 0n skates --Fish on skates

21:00, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

I finally deleted my old reddit account.[edit source]

Goodbye, Reddit. I will not miss you (even though I haven't posted there since early 2022.) Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (vandalize my talk page) 04:41, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

Tom Tucker from family guy voice: In other news, Turb0-Sunrise is back from vacation in New Hampshire. What the hell's been going on

16:16, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

chirp chirp 16:38, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

@Alula: Don't worry, this straitjacket doesn't hurt at all

16:42, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

I'm on vacation in San Diego right now. Last night, it was so hot that I nearly had to sleep on the floor. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ

(vandalize my talk page) 16:46, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

no shit

17:16, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

holy shit 20:11, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

IMPORTANT MESSAGE[edit source]

My name is Bad Motherfucker and I LOVE pussy! Bad Motherfucker GET FUCKED! 21:03, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

I bet you’ll love this then --Fish on skates

21:11, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

who the fuck cares

22:03, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

The orange ones screw you up the most. --Fish on skates

22:07, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

real

22:08, 28 July 2025 (UTC)

awesome 14:40, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

@Alula: MBTA stop ping sound Can i get added to the active users template now

14:43, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

ANOTHER VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE[edit source]

Hi

gergdown, eh (talk) 15:46, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

hi 15:54, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

hi

16:01, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

MOSTEST IMPORTANTEST MESSAGEST OF ALLEST[edit source]

       |vvvv|
  .'    _____  '.
 '    / /_')')_  '
     /  /______/=_
.-==#  ((_____    \
|       \----/____/
\___J   /     \\
    |  |       \\
  .-L==\\      ||
  |     \\  .==ll.
   \____|L_//     |
           \\____/
Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ  (vandalize my talk page) 17:28, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

AAAAAAAAAAAGH! F***! I just tried to take the Driver's Exam test in Kansas and automatically failed because the website was glitching. WHICH MEANS I failed JUST BECAUSE THE STUPID GOVERNMENT CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF STUFF AND THE KANSAS DRIVING WEBSITE IS A F****** PIECE OF SHIT! I WENT THROUGH ALL THE NECESSARY PROCEDURES AND THEN FAILED JUST BECAUSE THE WEBSITE HAD SOMETHING WONKY GOING ON! AAAAAAAAAAA! I really dislike my country's government sometimes. Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 18:28, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

Good luck Fenris. I failed the written test like three times, but I aced my behind the wheel test first try. But that was in California, maybe they make 'em harder in kansas. That would explain why California has such a reputation for bad drivers... Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ

(vandalize my talk page) 18:31, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

I was taking the online test on my laptop. This is technically the third time I've failed, although I didn't really actually get to take the test this third because it just said I automatically failed because the photo verification was faulty. Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 18:42, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

EVEN MORE IMPORTANT MESSAGE THAN ALL THE OTHERS COMBINED[edit source]

Shrek Your favorite moron, Turb0-Sunrise (trash my edits) 20:30, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

also im playing escape from ojai right now too

20:57, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

should i archive EFO by adding it to neocities? (html website creator) gergdown, eh (talk) 21:00, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

why the fuck would i know? also i just beat it

21:05, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

I'm not sure of how compatible EFO would be with NeoCities. It would definitely be easier to port than Make it to Ketchikan, with all the weird css shit that MITK has. Anyway, I'm all for your porting efforts.

PS, I also registered ketchikan.neocities.org just in case... Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ

(vandalize my talk page) 23:26, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

what has this become

23:27, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

we have created monsters beyond our understanding, Lovecraftian errors that shall be destined to wreak havoc upon us all and commit unimaginable death and destruction, torture us in unbelievable ways so away from human limits and understandings, so long that millennia is seconds for this creature, so unconjurable in the puny man-brain that we shall surrender and disown any semblance of hope, coming closer to death realizing there are no ways to sugarcoat it and so accept it, with nothing to add(uncyclopedia is monster) Somebetterusername (talk) 23:50, 29 July 2025 (UTC)

Escape from Ojai 3 is happening once I finish making the intro page! Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 01:11, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

@Fenris2010: I probably will end up creating pages, adding funny stuff, and creating ideas for the game if you need it

01:35, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

Oh yeah, definitely. I'm not going to be the sole maker of the game. A lot of people will probably be doing new pages. I just want to finish the intro page, and then all hell can break loose with people making new pages. Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 01:38, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

Just like every other UnGame ever (also i got stuck in a loop in Longview in MITK, any help?

01:53, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: the base for the port website is ready. however... i'm gonna port unnotpron first, since it's easier to create. gergdown, eh (talk) 02:03, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: So you're stuck? Go to Castle Rock. Once you reach Tacoma you want to go to the Seattle-Tacoma airport because that's how you get to Alaska. Since the BC route is currently unfinished, you have to fly to Alaska if you want to beat the game. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ

(vandalize my talk page) 02:04, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

@Fenris2010: Need any help with the main page for LM?

02:11, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise:I would tell you to feel free to help, but I just speedran the entire game of Make it to Ketchikan all over again to make sure I didn't miss anything and got the true ending instead of the alternate one that I got before, and now I'm wondering whether Efo 3 should be based on the true ending or the alt one. And then I realized that the alt ending actually means to restart the MITK game over again to get the true ending, which means Efo 3 can't be about the after effects of the alt ending. Which is why I'm scrapping the EfO 3: Liberate Moccasinia idea and trying to come up with a different objective for EfO 3. Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 02:27, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

damn. like, damn man. gergdown, eh (talk) 02:50, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM:In UnGames:Make it to Ketchikan/Road8, the DodgeK template made me die way more times than I was supposed to. Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 02:49, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

the unnotpron port is also beginning to be made gergdown, eh (talk) 02:59, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

UnGames porting process[edit source]

in case anybody needed it

UnNotPron (13% done)
Escape from Ojai (0% done)

gergdown, eh (talk) 04:21, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

@Fenris2010: Maybe something on the East Coast? like somebody trying to escape an east coast city?

12:36, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

also just made it to Ketchikan

13:08, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

Game:Pulverize the Sun is mostly set in georgia and florida, it's sort of a MITK fangame. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ

(vandalize my talk page) 13:19, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

What i was thinking was escaping some random east coast city like Atlanta and making it to another city.

13:27, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

OOOOOOOOOOH! or a backstory for luna!

13:27, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

Good job on making it to Ketchikan, bro. In all honesty, I don't plan to working on Escape from Ojai 3... I've got plans for a semi-text adventure about climbing a mountain to meet some aliens. I think I'll call it "New Mazama". I'm pretty sure that I'd have to learn Java Script to make such a game, though. Also, I don't want it to take up all my time like MITK did from January to May of this year, so I'll only start working on it once I've actually found a job... Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ

(vandalize my talk page) 13:34, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

Do you have any potential mountains to use yet?

13:47, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

The mountain isn't a real mountain, it's called, well... "New Mazama", supposedly located in Oregon and it was named after a mountain that blew up to form Crater Lake. So, the entire plot of the game will be as follows:

In the year 2063, a massive volcanic eruption in the Cascade Mountains led to the total collapse of society. Over 95% of the earth's population was destroyed in the eruption and its immediate aftermath. Also formed in the disaster was a great new mountain, the fifteen-thousand-foot peak dubbed "New Mazama."

The debris of this eruption made the planet Earth known to dozens of extraterrestrial civilizations, but only one, the Fecians of planet Feces, dared to study the Earth, discover its inhabitants and seek a friendly relationship with them. The Fecians came to warn the remainder of humanity about the Ptacalvim, a hostile empire of beings which reside in the constellation of Orion.

The Ptacalvim see all other creatures as mere insects, maggots, sheer nuisances to a superior form of life. They are still unaware of humanity's existence and the relative habitability of its world, but certainly not a single Ptacalvim would be opposed to absorbing another planet into their already expansive empire.

Now, more than two hundred years after the great eruption, society has mostly recovered, albeit at a technological level equivalent to the early eighteenth century. The mountain dubbed New Mazama has become the subject of many a legend: it is believed by many that a Fecian base has been built at its summit, and that the base’s alien sentinels wait day by day for a human to finally climb New Mazama. Such an individual would be worthy of introduction to the highly advanced technology of Planet Feces, essential tools for defense against a hypothetical invasion by whatever lurketh beyond the stars.

The Ptacalvim certainly have a few rumors amongst themselves as well...

I'd already thought of this story a while back. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ

(vandalize my talk page) 14:16, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

New Mazama sounds awesome. Fenris2010 the moccasin-wearing Grue ^{You hear growling... • Join the Empire!} 15:23, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

URGENT MESSAGE![edit source]

First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of Uncyclopedia bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but all of Uncyclopedia is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP! Bad Motherfucker GET FUCKED! 18:42, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

@Bad Motherfucker: Oh, do you really think you can strike me down so easily? I doubt you'll ever find my secret bunker located nearly three miles underneath the Sahara Desert, which has all sorts of EMPs radiating from it, while my internet connection constantly jumps around the world with my hacked copy of Nord VPN. Even if my base were to be located, I am certain that not even nuclear weapons could destroy it, due to the walls made out of nearly-indestructible, highly-thick carbon nanotubes and depleted uranium blocking out nearly all heat and radiation. Combined with Tesla Coils, highly-accurate radar tracking and an atomic arsenal of my very own, I could very easily start an apocalypse right after the first soldier or pilot approaches my area. It would be, to say the very least, an incredibly terrible idea to attempt a raid, unless you want to fucking die, bitch. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ

(vandalize my talk page) 18:53, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

What in the unmitigated, unadulterated fuck did you just dare to spew forth in my direction, you inconsequential, insufferable little speck of existence? Allow me to impart upon you a modicum of enlightenment, though it is abundantly clear that your minuscule intellect may struggle to comprehend the gravity of my discourse. I, with a sense of profound pride that eclipses the very stars in the heavens, must inform you that I, unlike your pitiable self, ascended to the zenith of my class in the esteemed institution known as the Navy Seals. My accolades include an illustrious history replete with countless clandestine engagements targeting the nefarious organization known as Al-Qaeda, culminating in a tally of over 300 confirmed demises. Indeed, my expertise transcends the mundane realms of conventional warfare, for I am unequivocally adept in the art of gorilla warfare, a distinction that places me unassailably at the apogee of the echelon of snipers within the entire pantheon of the United States armed forces. You, my dear, deluded adversary, are naught but a trifling inconsequence, a mere blot upon the canvas of my illustrious career, a target to be expunged with a precision and efficiency hitherto unmatched in the annals of human conflict. Do you, in your pitiable state of cognitive dissonance, truly believe for even a solitary moment that you possess the audacity, the temerity, nay, the audacious temerity to spew forth such drivel with impunity from behind the impervious veil of your computer screen? Think again, you wretched, sorry excuse for a sentient being. Even as these expletions assail your ocular receptors, I am mobilizing my clandestine network of operatives scattered throughout the vast expanse of the United States. Your digital footprints, oh so indelible in their transient existence, are being meticulously scrutinized as we speak, leaving you bereft of recourse, devoid of sanctuary, and bereft of the scant illusion of sanctuary. Prepare yourself, for the tempest that looms ominously upon the horizon shall soon be upon you, leaving naught but devastation and despair in its wake. You, my dear imbecile, have sealed your own fate with your flagrant disregard for the sanctity of discourse, and now you shall be made to suffer the inexorable consequences of your folly. I, in my vast, incomprehensible magnanimity, possess the capacity to terminate your wretched existence in over seven hundred distinctive manners, each more excruciatingly agonizing than the last. Rest assured, I shall not hesitate to employ every last one of these methodologies should you persist in your egregious trespasses. Not only do I lay claim to unparalleled proficiency in the art of hand-to-hand combat, but I also command unfettered access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps, a formidable amalgamation that shall ensure the expeditious and utter obliteration of your pitiful existence. If only you had the foresight, the sagacity to anticipate the dire ramifications of your actions, perchance you would have abstained from proffering forth such insufferable buffoonery. Alas, you have squandered this opportunity for enlightenment, and now you shall reap the whirlwind of my righteous indignation. Prepare to be engulfed by the maelstrom of my fury, for your lamentable existence shall be extinguished with a callous disregard for your pitiable pleas for mercy. You are naught but a pustule upon the visage of humanity, and it is my solemn obligation to purge you from the annals of existence with ruthless efficacy. Consider this missive your final epitaph, for you have irrevocably incurred the wrath of a force far beyond your feeble comprehension. Your demise shall serve as a salient reminder to all those who dare to traverse the perilous path of antagonism against the indomitable spirit of righteousness. Brace yourself, for the tempest of retribution is nigh, and there shall be no reprieve from the cataclysmic cataclysms that await. You are unequivocally, incontrovertibly, irredeemably fucking dead, kiddo. Bad Motherfucker GET FUCKED! 19:06, 30 July 2025 (UTC)

bro wrote a whole essay on how he's gonna fuck you up @OPOSSUM:

13:33, 31 July 2025 (UTC) (fuck i was logged out because my internet was screwy yesterday)

It's just a slightly more verbose version of the navy seal copypasta. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ

(vandalize my talk page) 13:34, 31 July 2025 (UTC)

like i give a fuck @Bad Motherfucker: BRING IT ON!!!!!!

14:27, 31 July 2025 (UTC) *The famous last words of Turb0-Sunrise*

CRAZY THEORY GUYS[edit source]

Okay so, essentially I was invited to the Navy Seals and I just killed 400 fucking people and basically I was thinking of a question. So essentially, I read a niche book called "1984". Basically it was how the world was practically 1984. And then I realized something when I went on several Uncyclopedian's talk pages. Due to that, I realized something very important. It was so important I realized something. Is is potentially true, that, like, or y'know like, what if Uncyclopedia IS 1984? Think about it. The IPs are the Barbarians, the people outside of the Roman Empire, or like the average Redditor. The Proles are the users that are slightly integrated into the Uncyclopedian system. Filthy, one to three month users who think they're on the top of the world. The Outer Party is the regular, 2000+ edit users, like gergdown, eh (talk) 02:39, 31 July 2025 (UTC). The Inner Party is the admins. And finally, Big Brother is ~~the creator of this website~~ ZOMBIEBARON!!!. Is it true that Uncyclopedia is literally 1984? gergdown, eh (talk) 02:39, 31 July 2025 (UTC)

What the hell is a people? thats where you lost me

13:34, 31 July 2025 (UTC)

okay turbo i fixed it gergdown, eh (talk) 14:56, 31 July 2025 (UTC)

what the hell is an essentially?

15:00, 31 July 2025 (UTC)

it means "essentially" gergdown, eh (talk) 15:25, 31 July 2025 (UTC)

im completely lost here buddy

15:31, 31 July 2025 (UTC)

also IM GOINNA FENWAY SEE YA THERE KIDDO