X-Men: The Last Stand

“Sounds like a great movie about Transgender males fighting for justice against their heterosexual overlords”

~ Anon on reading the title of the movie and skipping to the end

X-Men: The Last Stand (also known as X-Men: The Last Movie (No Really, We Mean It!), The Wolverine and Storm Smile-Time Variety Hour!, X-Men 3 or X3) is a 2006 superhero film, based on the X-Men superhero team introduced in Marvel Comics. The film, distributed by 20th Century Fox, is the third installment in the X-Men film series.

X-Plot

This movie follows the daring exploits of the X-Men as they attempt to stop the sentient bacteria that's out to steal their fortune. This sentient bacteria ingenious disguised itself as a mutant cure and intends to infect every sappy weak-willed mutant in the world and drive them mad by showing a repeat loop of Catwoman in their mind. However, Marvel's melancholy mutants are too bright and stubborn to fall for this and instead develop the cunning plan to blow 'em all to hell.

In a back-up sub-plot, in case people didn't care about the first, Jean Grey has returned. Her return has caused unrest amongst the comic-book readers as their forebodings increase and they suspect the incomprehensible hell this is likely to degenerate in to.

the X Summary

It all starts with Jean Grey (Redhead Lezbo) Comes out from the deep and makes out with Scott Summers (Mr. Cyclops). The scene ends with that one sees something moving inside his mouth, the scene ends with the classic scary tune that comes with in every cellphone on the black market. The thing that one didn't see that happened after that the scene ended was that Jean ate Cyclops and then spat out his sun glasses (yes he was an albino) Next up, Professor Xavier (the big bald guy that likes to read other peoples sexual fantasies) becomes really upset that Jean is back and silently tried to kill her by a telekinetic brain transplant but wolverine came into the room and Xavier got distracted. Anyhow, Xavier stalks Jean when she was walking home. Xavier played the blinking game with Jean sitting opposite from her while Mr. Magma (Yomammagnito) took a nap. Suddenly he blinked and lost, he got so outraged that he forgot that he was totally crippled from the waist and below. He stood up and Collapsed in front of Jean. Jean got so pissed that she kicked Mr. Xavier in the balls exactly when Wolverine came climbing in through the door (claws up in the roof, his hobby) Xavier saw down on everyone so when he saw Wolverine looking him in the eyes he got so embarrassed that he exploded. So now its the end of the movie, nothing much has happened, only that 5 people + a teenager + a black guy (Hank Mc HEEEEY Macarena) stand against an army of the most superior "special people" Now The teenager called Kitty was to save the Beech and by that prevent Aids from spreading, this was not easy, the giant penis called I-have-no-nuts was hunting her. After many curse words and mild nudity she found him and stabbed him in his heart and everyone lived happily ever after, except the Mormons who was clearly extinguished when Magneto didn't predict the plastic guns that the soldiers used. Quoting Magneto: "In chess you always let the pawns go first, that's why I let the MORMONS go first."

Now when everybody thinks they can leave the 41 minutes of the 1H and 41 min kicks in, a Camera moving slooooowwwllllyyyy around Magneto who had lost his magnetic powers (whoops forgot to tell you) He was playing chess, his index finger pointing at the black colored pawn that looked like a penis. he poked it a few times (39 min to be specific) then he poked it while his other hand bashed the chess board with the left hand so the pawn fell, then the movie ended with an "to-be-continued-maybe" music and with a sex scene that had nothing to do with the movie. If everybody felt like waiting another 41 minutes and putting up with glares from the theater staff, they could stay and watch a short clip after the credits in which Xavier 2.0 had taken control of another body and is kind of alive. Maybe? Smart people just watched it on Youtube.

X-Reception

X3 broke box office records when the only two people to turn up were persuaded to pay approximately $199.25 million each.

Trouble with The man

When they were writing this movie Dr. Hank McCoy was not supposed to be with because he wasn't with in X1 and X2, there was supposed to be a Black guy called Jeffery Jones that was a Mutant hater but trouble came when they were to ask Disney for permission to start producing the movie, The famous nazi/Disneys owner Wallace Disney, the grandgrand richfûhrer of Walt Disney and his Loyal companion Michael "Gromit" Eisner denied the movie, everybody knows that there are no black people in Disney movies, it would be against there moral code but it was only the Afro American guy that they had hired that could make the growling noises so Disney and the X-Men Producer came up to an agreement to have the Black guy in the Motion picture but ONLY if one color him blue and name him "beast"

And F.Y.I There has never been a black guy with in a Disney motion picture, if you have ever seen a black guy or another colored minority it have been a White guy with a latex suit that Disney call "Ass suit"

X-Casting

Unfortunately, several cast members from the first two movies could not return due to some unforseen circumstances.

X-Possible X-sequels

All cast and crew involved with the movie have insisted that there is no possibility of any sequels or follow-ups. The directors and producers don't want to make another X-Movie and even if they did, none of the cast would bother to show up. On another note, the trailer for X4: The Glorious Revolution will be shown later this year.