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Jangles was a United States soldier and chimpanzee in the Vietnam War. Jangles was found outside of the city of Saigon in late 1967, assumed to have escaped his enclosure at the Saigon Zoo. Soldiers of the 101st Airborne Division took Jangles and cared for him. Eventually, their company commander jokingly sent Jangles off to the United States Army Airborne School, where he graduated at the top of his class. Jangles then served as an infantryman with the 101st Airborne Division, and briefly with the 5th Special Forces Group, earning the Special Forces tab. He fought in numerous battles during the Vietnam War.
Jangles was killed in action during the Fall of Saigon, when he attempted to toss away an enemy grenade that had landed near him and other service members. After the city fell, North Vietnamese troops paraded his corpse throughout Saigon and celebrated their victory. (Full article...)
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December 12: Unfunny Joke Day (US) Wooly Animal Molestation Day (Wales)
- 1594 - Pickle loaf first made with dill dough.
- 1806 - Napoleon keeps his armies up his sleevies - a French word for chocolates.
- 1862 - Three baby seals walk into a club.
- 1900 - A minister, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
- 1901 - Not learning their lesson, the same minister, priest and rabbi walk into a bar, knocking their heads. .
- 1929 - As a year, was really long and hard. That's what she said.
- 1933 - Hitler ties his shoes with little Nazis.
- 1945 - Joshua Ben Cohen discovers that finding half a worm in an apple is actually preferable to being a prisoner in Auschwitz.
- 1957 - Farmer Frank Peters in Kentuckistan leaves his gate open long enough for one of his chickens to cross the road.
- 1962 - Larry, a dog from Indiana, loses his nose when it is attacked by some drunk teenagers. Disgusted by his dog's hideous injury and not having enough money to pay a vet, the owner releases the injured dog into a forest on the other side of the state. After a few days of being fly-blown and delirous with pain, the dog begins to smell badly.
- 1964 - Researchers for the American Horror Book Readers Organization discover that many "Ghost Writers" are employed to write tales that involve ghosts. There is much laughter all round at the irony of this fact.
- 1965 - A boy takes a ruler with him to bed to see how long he slept. When he awakes, Leonid Breznev, the General secretary of the Soviet Communist Party, hits his stopwatch and informs him that he slept for 9 hours and 35 minutes. He also tells the boy that there are easier ways of finding out these facts and to please not call him again.
- 1966 - Not learning his lesson, the boy takes a saddle to bed, in case he has nightmares. He is sent to a gulag.
- 1981 - AIDS is unleashed upon the world by Jesus.
- 1984 - A baker robs a bank because he needed the dough - which he was able to steal from the lunch room which had its own bread maker, owned by a number of staff members who loved to eat fresh bread at lunch time.
- 1986 - So this guy comes into a bar, AW CRAP, sorry I said that wrong, it was suppose to be a donkey.....So this guy comes into a Donkey.
- 1987 - 3 men walk into a bar, one of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole joke plays out with a tedious inevitability
- 2002 - I hold a bukkake party, but nobody comes.
- 2003 - A man has the left side of his body amputated. He's alright now.
- 2004 - A clown is removed from a swing by hitting him in the face with an axe.
- 2005 - Uncyclopedia is created.
- 2005 the Third - In Soviet Russia, unfunny jokes don't laugh at YOU.
- 2012 - The month, year and day are the same number for the last time in the century.
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Uncyclopedia is an encyclopedia full of misinformation and utter lies. It's sort of like Congress or Parliament. Unlike Congress or Parliament, however, we do have a sense of humor. Nonetheless, this one of the only factual pages, before everything turns into a puddle of utter confusion and disarray. Savor it. And for the love of Sophia, we know you like disarray, but stop adding confusion to this page to spite the disclaimer.
Photo credit: Chronarion
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