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God (born God Cohen in 4004 BC in Liverpool, England) is one of the most famous and prolific musicians in the Western world. Though he recorded under the name God during his early career, a contractual dispute with his former label led him to change his recording name to YHVH. Due to YHVH being an unpronounceable set of consonants, he is most often referred to as "The Artist Formerly Known as God," "TAFKAG," or simply "The Artist." Throughout his career he has embraced many styles of music and is cited as an influence by a wide array of current artists. (Full article...)
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Don't ask what any of this has to do with Christmas.
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December 30: Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day
- 4004 BC - God remembers to create the Earth. Oh, and everything else, too. Except for sliced bread.
- 4 BC - Emperor Augustus remembers he was gonna have a census this year! Having missed his opportunity, he proclaims, "Let there be a day upon which all things previously contemplated throughout the last year finally be at once accomplished! Except for tomorrow. But shhhh!" Thus, the "Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day" was inaugurated.
- 1037 - King Arthur loses the holy grail to Nigerian timeshare scammers, crusades ensue.
- 1999 - Procrastinators think about preparing for the Y2K bug, but put it off until December 31.
- 2002 - Saddam Hussein realises he forgot to send George Bush a Christmas card.
- 2004 - Weren't we gonna start a parady of wickerpedialyte? Yeah? Shit! Better luck next year.
- 2005 - Forget it! If it ain't done, wait 'til next year.
- 2006 - Saddam Hussein executed for forgetting to send Bush a Christmas card. Again.
- 2012 - The Mayans remember to end the world with a BANG!
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Uncyclopedia is an encyclopedia full of misinformation and utter lies. It's sort of like Congress or Parliament. Unlike Congress or Parliament, however, we do have a sense of humor. Nonetheless, this one of the only factual pages, before everything turns into a puddle of utter confusion and disarray. Savor it. And for the love of Sophia, we know you like disarray, but stop adding confusion to this page to spite the disclaimer.
Photo credit: Chronarion
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