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Alexander Hamilton (January 11, 1755 or 1757 – July 12, 1804) was the first (and last) United States Secretary of the Treasury to be killed in a duel. He was also one of the Founding Fathers of the United States, a lawyer and street judge, and a slave-owner. An all-around good guy.
As butler to General George Washington during the War of Colonial Aggression against Great Britain, Hamilton called for a new Constitution. He wrote, like, almost all of the Federalist Papers, a primary source for Constitutional repression. He was opposed by other Founding Fathers, namely all of the ones who didn't like uppity, philandering bastards.
Today, Hamilton is on the U.S. $10 bill, a testament to America's appreciation for adulterous dueling bastards who are good with fiscal policy. (Full article...)
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| On this day...
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September 9: Day of the Truffles Triffids
- ⑨ - Cirno is born.
- 1000 - During the Battle of Svolder, King Olaf I of Norway falls overboard and disappears into the Baltic Sea. He is not seen again until Olaf II: Electric Boogaloo is released on video later that year.
- 1087 - William the Conqueror dies. About time, too.
- 1312 - Paracelsus invents redundancy.
- 1313 - Paracelsus invents redundancy.
- 1405 - The world's first soda siphon goes on display in Paris. Rioting ensues.
- 1828 - Leo Tolstoy is born. How boring is that?
- 1839 - John Herschel takes the first glass plate photograph. Later photographs are of a glass cup, a glass saucer, and a glass eye.
- 1850 - California is admitted into the USA.
- 1944 - Bulgaria is
occupied liberated by Soviet troops.
- 1967 - The spork is invented.
- 1969 - No rioting in Paris. Rioting ensues.
- 1976 - Mao Zedong passes away; sadly his dream of murdering more of his own people than Stalin is left unrealized.
- 1988 - In the most intense fighting of the GI Joe-Transformers War, the Autobot-Joe Alliance and Union of Decepticon and Cobra Forces see heavy casualties in the Battle of the Backyard.
- 2009 - Being 9/9/09, an upside down Satan appeared, only to shortly die of spinal injuries.
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Uncyclopedia is an encyclopedia full of misinformation and utter lies. It's sort of like Congress or Parliament. Unlike Congress or Parliament, however, we do have a sense of humor. Nonetheless, this one of the only factual pages, before everything turns into a puddle of utter confusion and disarray. Savor it. And for the love of Sophia, we know you like disarray, but stop adding confusion to this page to spite the disclaimer.
Photo credit: Chronarion
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