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Such woe, my bladder filled right to the brim,
If but perchance I sought to take a leak
Yet now my pantaloons now stainèd swim
In urine which now dribbles down my feet!
If only to the loo I'd gone posthaste,
Such musings are the act of lesser men;
My fav'rite pair of leggings would not waste,
But truth be told, I'll piss my pants again.
I never learned to listen to 'ol Blad
My colon wretches yet I never poo
Now brown and yellow mix with tidings glad,
Instead of me relaxing on the loo.
(Full article...)
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September 18: God's Birthday. Happy birthday, God!
- Infinity B.C. - God is born. Exactly how this happens remains of of the great mysteries of time, especially since the date is known with precision.
- 4004 B.C. - God receives the universe as a birthday present, but loses interest when He discovers that it is infested with parasites
- 3200 B.C. - S'dhkai, a canaanite, is struck down by lightning when he forgets God's birthday.
- 1300 B.C. - God decrees to his peoples that the holiest Number shall be 91. When griping ensues, God relents and changes to the much easier to remember 7.
- 854 A.D. - God creates Hell once the most wicked neighborhoods of Heaven reach capacity.
- 2001 - God gets drunk at His birthday party and passes out in Buddha´s bathroom.
- 2005 - God is found passed out drunk in a dumpster behind a Denny's. God is forced to attend rehab.
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Uncyclopedia is an encyclopedia full of misinformation and utter lies. It's sort of like Congress or Parliament. Unlike Congress or Parliament, however, we do have a sense of humor. Nonetheless, this one of the only factual pages, before everything turns into a puddle of utter confusion and disarray. Savor it. And for the love of Sophia, we know you like disarray, but stop adding confusion to this page to spite the disclaimer.
Photo credit: Chronarion
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