User:Killer 3.14/wingame

YOU LOSE

I don't know what I did

but thanks for the award.--<<>> 01:18, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

He's a troll. He's banned for a week. MrN 01:22, Aug 9

Why do you ban me?

Please explain

Probably because you suck. Please try to stop sucking; it's quite unbecoming. Also, this:

OBSERVE THIS GIANT ANGRY TILDE

Due to the regrettable fact that you have entirely forgotten to sign your posts, the entirety of Uncyclopedia is very mad at you. This is rather unfortunate as many of us are capable of summoning Grues at will. I politely suggest that you quickly rectify this by using the four-tilde rule whenever you post on a talk page from now on. Copy and paste the following handy text for your own convenience in signing your posts: ~~~~

---

- T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 01:16, Aug 17

- k sorry --Killer 3.14 14:31, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

(UTC)

Tips

1. If asking a question, find someone else's talk page and ask it there - asking on your own talk page is like asking yourself, and if no-one is passing, you may never get an answer.
2. Don#t create pages with your own name in, that's vanity, and they will be deleted, or moved. I'm gonna move those pages to your userspace, if you move 'em back to mainspace, make sure your name isn't in them.
3. Don't eat the yellow snow.

--UU - natter 10:34, Aug 18

-k sorry

Here they are

--UU - natter 10:39, Aug 18

-thanks but I don't want people to skip ahead I'll edit them. --Killer 3.14 10:40, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Umm sorry now I can't skip ahead or find them so could you please give me those again my fault.--Killer 3.14 10:40, 18 August 2009

Here they are

• User:Killer 3.14/game of killing/man2
• User:Killer 3.14/game of killing/man10
• User:Killer 3.14/game of killing/say"hi"toking
• User:Killer 3.14/game of killing/attackgruads
• User:Killer 3.14/game of killing/defend

Another tip: see that "history" tab at the top of the page? clicking on it allows you to view all previous versions of the page, by clicking on the date of each version. So even though you removed the links from this page, you can still see them in the old version of this page. All I've done is copy/paste them from the history to this new edit. --UU - natter 11:02, Aug 18

Cool!Thanks I'm sorry. Thanks for not just deleting all of it like some adims probably do. --Killer 3.14 11:11, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Your page is here. MrN 23:35, Aug 18

What? my name wasn't even in that??--Killer 3.14 23:36, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

The answer is "Write an article" or "Edit something in the mainspace". If you want this award in your space that's fine by me. It's not going in the Uncyclopedia area. Sorry. Write an article. That takes "effort" try it. MrN 23:45, Aug 18

Userboxes

I don't know if you have enough of them. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:04, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

There must have been a category you missed.    Orian57    Talk   06:25 20 August 2009

Your right, thax--Killer 3.14 01:15, 23 August 2009 (UTC)

Your game

Seems to be random pages that don't connect. Care to explain what this is all about? ~ 00:25, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

Well, it just seems like pages with no connection and bits of unrelated text. You can respond here. ~ 00:34, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

My only answer is to play it and see they kinda do , the most random is here--Killer 3.14 00:37, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

Which one is the first page? ~ 00:47, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

Really?, it's here --Killer 3.14 00:50, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

Re your message, I do sleep sometimes, even if I seem like an android. And that last conversation we had was at 2:30am where I'm at. As for the game - there's several things you should consider fixing. First - it's completely random. You select yes, you die. You select no, you die. You die anyway and there's no point to it. Maybe try to find some background story? I realize it's supposed to be random, but this one is a bit too random. Other than that, you should try and use correct English (so, no plz and such). And last, I'd recommend that whenever you kill the player, you place a link back to the first page or to any page, just hitting the back button on the browser each and every time is a bit annoying. Hope that helps. ~ 10:49, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: September 24th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

September 24th, 2009 • Issue 65 • The Newspaper that Oscar Wilde Might Read Were He Still Among the Living

UnSignpost Subscriber List Trimmed; Remaining Subscribers Urged to Archive Issues, Settle Outstanding Bills, Refrain from Tipping Paperbots By Gerrycheevers This week, the hideously long UnSignpost subscription list was hacked down even further than The Woodburninator and others apparently hacked it down several months ago. This has resulted in a mass decline in the number of useless edits performed by paperbots and brave, bored souls who have nothing better to do than manually edit dozens of userpages on a weekly basis. The dregs that were cast off included those who have not registered an edit in six months, those who are permanently banned or close to it, and those with large, scary dogs that prevent paperbots from completing their routes unchewed. The remaining faithful readers are asked to archive their talk pages if they are excessively long due to many hilarious editions of the UnSignpost, as paperbots are slowed down by the large load times of such pages, and paper-delivering users are likely to be distracted by uproarious back issues. Subscribers are also reminded that the monthly fee for talkpage delivery is seven Uncyclopedia credits. Extremely outdated Uncyclopedia currency, such as Yoinxx, will be subject to exceedingly unfair conversion rates. On a final note, readers are implored to avoid tipping paperbots, as it seems any sort of regular income tends to give robots inklings of sentience, and the last thing we need is Fnoodle organizing the paperbots into a rudimentary union again. UFFL Update By Guildensternenstein It was another exciting week of UFFL action this past Sunday, with 75% of the league’s games qualifying as “blowouts.” Sternensteinenstine bested DiBiase’s Millions 161.54 to 78.94, with the one-two Nazi punch of Drew Brees and Chris Johnson outscoring their helpless opponents alone. The John Curry All Stars had similar success with the Philip Rivers-Marques Colston-Frank Gore combination, and knocked out Cheddar’s Doritians 123.74 to 71.64 in the fourth round. The bout between Domestic Team Name and Oklahoma City Storm went the distance, with Domestic “Team” Name coming away with the split decision 78.14 to 77.28. Finally, Frankreich “The Dude” Zappino demolished his opponent 126.42 to 0.00 in a spectacular first round knockout due to the fact that LL was once again unable to select his starting roster. Standings: Sternensteinenstienenstern (2-0) The Stoners (2-0) John Curry’s Angles (2-0) Domestic Violence (2-0) Sun Chips (0-2) Oklahoma City Bombing (0-2) DeGrasse Goes to Vegas (0-2) The Loserz (0-2)

Check out these pages! The Pay-Per-View Event of the Fortnight! Here. Have a page with so many pictures, it takes forever to load. You're welcome. Urination, small furry rodents, and why Modus has another court date Tuesday. From our logs: 16:19, September 20, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.235.107.11 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Stop being a pain in my tender place) 18:52, September 21, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Arse bandit (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎(Your ban time is six months. I'll give you 10 dollars if you can hold your breath the entire time.) 14:53, September 22, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.17.99.136 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(oi, no blanking, no stupid redirecting, no crappy pages about people we don't care about, and no ugly nerds. you fail on all counts.) 11:57, September 24, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Abdul321 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Lebanon is a little Kiosk between Israel and Syria. Get over it.) Biopic of the Week Bouncing back and forth between Uncyclopedia and Illogicopedia has been Hindleyite's specialty for some time now. With his in-depth reports on traffic laws, street crime, and sports officiating video games, this banana-eating ite from Hindley is sure to keep Uncyclopedians on their toes for a long time to come. Old School Featured Article of the Week Henchmen are an essential part of any mastermind super-villian's overall business portfolio. Generally, success in plans of world domination, protagonist death, and damsel distress have success ratios directly correlated to the number, competence, and, to a lesser extent, wardrobe snappiness of a bad guy's henchmen. Pointless Nostalgia of the Week We miss when Cajek and Skull would write for the UnSignpost. Those 4+ issues they churned out were golden. You'd be reading and then - all of a sudden - WHAM, a joke would hit you, and Cajek would be all like, "oh my god, it was so dark, and i didn't see him, and he just jumped out in front of me!" Really Small Box That Takes Up Just Enough Space To Even Out Both Sides of This Issue of the UnSignpost of the Week, Because Symmetry Looks Nice Believe it or not, the one above this one.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:57, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

Thank you --Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 16:19, October 4, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: October 1st, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

October 1st, 2009 • Issue 66• Now With 40% More Pictures of Cats with Humorous Captions!

Users Turn to PLS to Rescue Uncyclopedia from Decay, Doom, Worstness By Gerrycheevers The Eighth Semi-Annual Poo Lit Surprise Writing Competition & Brownie Bake-Off begins this Monday, October 5th when Olipro emerges from his house. If he is frightened by his shadow, writers are required to send him love letters; otherwise, writers have two weeks to squeeze all of the humor they can out of their mostly insignificant humor glands. This year's categories include Best Article, Best Illustrated Article, Best Kanye Joke, and Best Rewrite. The list of judges includes both esteemed Uncyclopedia veterans and former PLS winners; they will be sequestered in a two-star hotel for the duration of the competition in order to ensure the most convenient environment for receiving bribes. This year's PLS Master of Ceremonies and Executive in Charge of Parking, Modusoperandi, humbly expressed optimism when asked about the quality of this installment: "This Poo Lit will be the Greatest PLS ever," said Mr. Operandi exclusively. "Anyone who says otherwise is as much of a liar as they are dumb, and they are plenty dumb. Ergo, they are also plenty liar. That made more sense in my head." Other users, who wished to remain anonymous since they regularly read the unflattering commentary often associated with being quoted in the UnSignpost, expressed hope that the PLS would revive the life-support-laden VFH and also stimulate the lagging Uncyclopedia economy. Users Agree: 'Uncyclopedia is the Boringest' By Gerrycheevers This week, Uncyclopedia users denounced the recent lack of activity on the wiki. Necropaxx initiated the conversation, noting that activity on VFH, similar to the pants of the 'hip' crowd, has dropped to unacceptably low levels. Other users have responded, and the general consensus does indeed seem to be that overall, the site's quality has dropped below acceptable levels. Not since June '07, November '07, February '08, August '08, December '08, March '09, and May '09 has Uncyclopedia seen such a blatant claim that the entire website will imminently burst into a ball of some sort, with 'flame' being the most likely sort of ball. Trusted UnSignpost undercover investigative reporter, DogNewspaper (pictured), infiltrated one such group of doom-saying users in order to obtain some first-hand declarations of the impending death throes of the wiki. "Yeah, with the number of quality articles readily available, I'd give Uncyclopedia two months at the most until it is absorbed into another humor website," said one user. Further commentary from this group of users was unavailable, as undercover investigative reporter DogNewspaper's cover was at this point compromised, as his unwavering loyalty to Uncyclopedia caused him to seize the infidel user's lower leg in his mouth and shake his head viciously. Please stay with the UnSignpost for up-to-the-week coverage of the impending(?) death of Uncyclopedia.

Check out these pages! Features and Self-Loathing on Uncyclopedia An all-time Uncyclopedia mystery explained in agonzing detail Get your monthly dose of religious oppression! From our logs: 17:54, September 27, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.233.10.123 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month (Under Uncyclopedia emergency act (1976) I hereby revoke your editing priveleges) 20:55, September 27, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.166.95.119 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (only two kinds blank Texas: steers and queers. and steers find it hard to use the internet so I guess that narrows things down a little, doesn't it?) 21:42, September 29, 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 91.203.96.48 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(Hates me for some reason. Even though I happen to be the nicest man who ever lived. It's true, ask Richard Nixon.) Biopic of the Week Since exploding onto the Uncyclopedia scene in 2007, MacMania has developed into a fine-tuned humor machine. His recent writing endeavors have earned him a Writer of the Month nod, and as such, he is certainly a user worthy of biopication. His current sabbatical makes UnSignpost editors sad, but perhaps a constant spamming of his userpage with pleas to return will accelerate his comeback. UnSignpost readers, away! Old School Featured Article I Can't Believe it's Not Murder is the preferred alternative of first degree murder that celebrities, famous sports stars, politicians, and otherwise prominent individuals take advantage of in courts of law. It is similar to being found guilty of first degree murder, though this version avoids the undesirable consequences such as jail time, fines, probation, and the unsightly community service. Random Thought of the Week Dippin' Dots have been the ice cream of the future for like ten years. Shouldn't they be the ice cream of the present by now?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Late deliver courtesy of MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:03, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks again--Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 20:15, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Give me a little more pee?

Hey man, thanks for reading my UnNews article. You wouldn't mind giving me a full review would you? I think that way I might be able to focus on some particular possibilities for improvement. Love your records.

Love,

manosaurus

I didn't read it, I looked at it for two seconds but O.K.--Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 19:01, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the review, dude. I really appreciate the thoughts. That's a good point about not detailing the circumstances of the actual death - cold be some funny stuff in that.

Hugs,

Manousaurus

Be more useful

Being useless is fine, until you get in the way of other peoples' uselessness. It's a lot like liberty that way. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:31, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

What do you mean? --Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 21:34, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

I have no idea. I assume that you're not writing pages, leaving short, random comments on Forum topics and doing other things as well that aren't all that special. I say this because I have no idea who you are, and am only here because somebody told me to come here to make you be more useful. I can't say "no". It's my only fault. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:28, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, I see and I know it's that bad shroom, guy.Anyway I made some articles ,but whenever I do they get deleted and I was banned all 3 times by Mr.N9000 because I gave too many awards and yes I do have ADH-Pudding.All I did was make one forum that bad shroom doesn't like. Please don't ban me. I mean so far since Mr.N9000 is gone I didn't got banned for like 5 weeks.I'll go talk and try to help and what not.--Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 00:16, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Slow down. Relax. All you've got is time. Instead of trying to make a new page, why not try improving an existing one? It takes some Uncyclopedians a while to find their comedy rhythm. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 02:33, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Thank you--Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 18:53, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

I don't know if this helps, but I've been here for quite a while and I'm pretty awesome. Of course, I was pretty awesome when I started here. Humble, too. (Seriously, though, it took me ten months here and many, many little edits before I wrote an original page that worked) Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 18:56, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Um, no that doesn't help ,but thanks.I read the humor guide and spend half an hour on some of my work that never lived for more than 2 weeks.--Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 19:04, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Comedy is hard work. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 19:13, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Humor is no laughing matter. Here it's just as hard if not harder then making a article on Wikipedia because you have to write a Wikipedian article and mess up in a funny way.--Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 19:16, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Sporking a page from Wikipedia is actually a good place to start. You've already got the subject and the text. All you have to do is make it funny. In the very least, it gives you a jumping board to, um, jump off from. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind ,but I'm not gonna make articles 'til I'm ready--Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 19:23, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Your sig is too tall

1. Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me}
2. Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me}
3. Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me}
4. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc!
5. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc!
6. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc!
   

See how the gaps between lines for your sig are bigger than they are for mine? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:01, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

O.K. I deleted it ,but can you tell me how you make a picture smaller?--Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 00:33, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

I fix. I does! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:01, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Thank you very much I'd give you an award ,but if MrN9000 comes back he'll get mad. Normally I don't want people messing with my sig or userpage. This is an expectation.--Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 01:05, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Normally I wouldn't, but it was broken and you seemed lost, like a little puppy in the rain. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:10, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Awwww... well, thanks.--Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 01:11, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Sometime October 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Better sign it.

October 8th, 2009 • Issue 67• Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.

The End is Nigh... Once Again By The Sockinator Yes, it's that time of the year again. Despite the hopes of many, Poo Lit Surprise did not instantly revive Uncyclopedia. We are doomed! DOOMED! But how did the great Uncyclopedia become such a wasteland, one may ask. It's all a big conspiracy, I tell you! All perpetrated by a mysterious figure, known only by the initials R.L. Perseveringly, this entity has claimed the lives of various Uncyclopedians, among them such users as SysRq, Cajek, YesTimeToEdit, Siddhartha-Wolf and most recently it seems R.L. has even gotten its grips on our own UnSignpost editor Gerrycheevers. When confronted with the issue, noted favourite Jew and Zionist ruler Mordillo barely managed to exclusively tell us the following "I tell you Socky, I'd be happy to comment about our IMPENDING DOOM but I'm too busy packing. Another time maybe? HEY! MOTHERFUCKER! EASY WITH THE VASE! THAT'S FRAGILE! Sorry Sock, gotta scram, the movers are breaking my stuff. NO! DROP THAT BAN HAMMER! DROP IT I SAID!" Expert in things that suck (no pun intended), Optimuschris, was quoted saying "Uncyclopedia hasn't been cool since 08. Ban 09's." In conclusion, UN:N. UFFL Update By Guildensternenstein The previous two weeks of the UFFL action have been filled with more intrigue than a mediocre James Bond movie. Two touchdownless games by Saints’ quarterback Drew Brees cost Sternensteinenstine a win Week 3, though the team rebounded Week 4 and currently holds a solid second-place standing in the hyper-competitive UFFL. A resurgent Tom Brady and a balanced roster has led Domestic Team Name to two wins over the same period, as well as an unblemished 4-0 record. The Dudes’ neglect to change their starting roster cost them a win in Week 4, knocking the former top dogs down to a less-than-remarkable 4th place. The John Curry All-Stars have been hampered by the loss of Frank Gore, and lost last week to a rejuvenated Dibiase’s Millions that were led by a solid Aaron Rodgers-Matt Forte NFC North attack. A soft schedule has helped Oklahoma City Storm to a respectable 2-2 record, while the winless Doritians continue to struggle. Finally, The Winnerz put up mounds of points as Peyton Manning passed his way to his fourth consecutive 300-yard game…or at least would have if The Winnerz could figure out how to log in to Yahoo! and edit their roster. In a look ahead to next week’s games, Sternensteinenstine and the John Curry All-Stars will have to overcome bye weeks for both their starting quarterbacks to maintain their positions near the top of the league as they face off; Oklahoma City Storm looks to earn an easy win against a bye-week-ravaged Dibiase’s Millions; The Dudes seek redemption as they attempt to reclaim their No. 1 position against the undefeated Domestic Team Name; and the league’s bottom-dwelling, shit-eating, dog-fucking last-placers The Winnerz and Cheddar’s Doritians both search for their first wins of the season. Standings: Domestic Team Name (4-0) Sternensteinenstine (3-1) John Curry All-Stars (3-1) The Dudes (3-1) Oklahoma City Storm (2-2) Dibiase’s Millions (1-3) Cheddar’s Doritians (0-4) The Winnerz (0-4)

Whatever you do, don't check out these pages! Polls, sexiness, and advertisements Terrifying stories of the one-armed man! Pointless numbers From our logs: 08:02, October 5, 2009 Under user blocked RAHB with an expiry time of 123 seconds ‎ (surprising me by returning like that: my doctor says surprises are bad for other people's hearts - because every time I get surprised, I eat someone's heart.) 10:48, October 13, 2009 RAHB blocked Dwarfman1122 with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Thought you wouldn't be caught, eh? Maybe now you'll think twice the next time you vandalize and then wait three weeks to be banned.) 04:46, October 11, 2009 Modusoperandi blocked 75.47.155.133 with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I'd give you a longer ban, but you were only picking on Roman Dog Bird) Biopic of the Week The sentient computer HAL 9000, while having only very few contributions on Uncyclopedia—and of a rather questionable nature at that, if I may add—has recently risen to Uncyc fame in what can only be described as one big conspiracy. In response to a question asked by one of our reporters, HAL answered "Let me put it this way, Mr. Sockinator. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error." In 2001: A Space Odyssey, HAL proved to be a computer very much capable of homicidal acts. Until recently, Uncyclopedia had been successful in evading HAL's detection. Yesterday night however, HAL hacked our beloved Main Page and transformed the wiki into HALopedia. HAL was confronted with many bewildered users to whom he proclaimed "I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over." Our experts are still trying to find out how the feck HAL was able to find this place. Though MrN9000 probably had nothing to do with it. For more information, tune in next week. Same un-time, same un-signpost! Random Cajek sighting of the Week Yea, verily, he did come unto us and delivereth a new article. Then he updatedeth his userpage, and fuckethed offeth again. These are enlightened times, my friends! Random Thought of The Week Remember when Uncyclopedia was full of vanity and Pokemon? Wait, it still is. Emergency of the Week Well, lots of things go wrong in Uncyclopedia. It's a simple fact of life. And this week, believe it or not, dear reader, this UnSignpost issue almost didn't make the cut! But do not despair, dear reader, because you can help! Just post any suggestions in the Press Room, and with your help, we can overcome this crisis!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  01:20, Oct 16

Thank you new guy--Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 13:31, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Won't Tell Everyone That You Wet the Bed! Oops...

October 22nd, 2009 • Issue 68 • Semi-endorsed by Journalism Union #448

Invisible UnSignpost Issue Confuses, Annoys Readers By Gerrycheevers As a gag/publicity stunt/desperate cry for attention, last week's edition of Uncyclopedia's most beloved and 3rd most cherished newspaper, the UnSignpost, was rendered invisible before being delivered. After the issue was wrapped up, UnSignpost contributing editors Dexter111344 and Socky used their inherent superpowers or something to cause the issue to not appear on user's talk pages when delivered. In addition, further enhancements rendered each user's talk page history to not be altered upon delivery, thus completely erasing any evidence that the issue was delivered or even existed at any point. Feedback thus far has been overwhelmingly negative, with angry subscribers sending death threats and exploding telegrams to the UnSignpost office for the past four days. UnSignpost Executive in Charge of Sniffing Mail, Dognewspaper (pictured), luckily suffered only minor burns and a singed tail. The UnSignpost staff would like to formally apologize to its readers, and assure them that each subsequent issue will be at least partly visible. Poo Lit Report By Electrified mocha chinchilla After giving the writers time to work on their pieces, and Modus taking time enjoying the disqualification of entries for failing the mandatory steroids screening, the 8nd Edition of the Poo Lit Surprise is in its final stages – judging. This is the time where writers who entered play with their genitals out of anxiety and nervousness, and attempt to bribe the judges with sexual favors and pie. This PLS saw a great number of entries in the Best Alternate Namespace Article. The reasoning for this, some believe, is that everyone is utterly bat fuck insane and forgot how to write regular namespace articles. Despite being held just prior to the Turkey Day Ball and Conservation Week, the turn-out was overall not bad; Modus' corporate-funded campaign for the PLS is primarily to blame for this. Speaking of corporate funding, it was indicated that there will be prize money for this edition of the PLS despite Wikia's refusal to hook a brotha' up. All irrevocable blame for Wikia's unfortunate decision has been directed at Sannse for good reason. UPDATE Winners have been announced; congratulations to all of them. According to Modusoperandi, the next PLS is expected to be held, "When the next guy remembers it's late." Fantasy Football Update By Guildensternenstein Things are really heating up in the UFFL as midseason nears, and Week Six’s storylines were of upset, domination, and redemption. Led by Tom Brady, the always-solid New England Patriots Domestic Team Name blew out the hapless Tennessee Titans Winnerz by an insane 109.38 to 0 after choking down a hard loss the previous week. The ironically-named Winnerz, on the other hand, still have yet to win a game. After a lackluster showing last week, The John Curry All-Stars earned a solid win against The Dudes, unseating them of their erstwhile #1 ranking in the process. After starting the season 0-4, Cheddar’s Doritians earned their second consecutive win, albeit against the floundering Dibiase’s Millions. Finally, Sternensteinenstine resoundingly defeated Oklahoma City Storm 164.06 to 118.98 after a lackluster showing the previous week, catapulting the Nazi-run team back atop the UFFL standings. In a look ahead to next week’s games, Sternensteinenstine looks to stay atop the UFFL rankings against a resurgent Cheddar’s Doritians, Domestic Team Name looks to retake the #1 spot against a very solid John Curry All-Stars, Oklahoma City Storm and The Dudes face off, and the bottom-dwelling dog-fucking last-placers Dibiase’s Millions and The Winnerz will look to see which one of them is shittier. Standings: Sternensteinenstine (5-1) Domestic Team Name (5-1) The Dudes (4-2) John Curry All-Stars (4-2) Oklahoma City Storm (3-3) Cheddar’s Doritians (2-4) Dibiase’s Millions (1-5) The Winnerz (0-6) IT'S OVER 25,000!!! Maybe. By Electrified mocha chinchilla Uncyclopedia just might make the mark of 25,000 articles. Sometime soon. Maybe tomorrow. Surely it's yet another milestone that only puts us that much more ahead of Wikipedia, Conservapedia, and Das Kapital combined in content. However, thoughts from the rest of the community on what this means for our beloved wiki have been varyingly expressed as joyous, apathetic, dismal, and downright nonsensical. "But even with 25,000 articles, we're still 65,000 short of being strong enough to fight Captain Ginyu," says the attractive Guildensternenstein as we stop him on his way to Planet Namek. Others offer real conversation of a possible reskin and doubts that the mark will actually be reached with Forest Fire Week probably happening sometime. Maybe. Discussion started by an attention whore in Miniluv over the Welcoming Committee and their welcoming template(s) has sparked the particular attention of many Uncyclopedians, most of whom by their own admission have never read the welcoming template, HTBFANJS, BGBU, any of the other things the welcome template advises new users to read, or have heard of Uncyclopedia. The recent round of QQ'ing and debating over the alleged poor quality of Uncyclopedia, as highlighted in the last edition's piece about the end being nigh and a Poo Lit Surprise nomination, can come to a close. It is this writer's observation that Uncyclopedia is the worst because nobody cares about editing guides which make confusing acronyms. Obvious correlation is obvious. On our final stop in our stroll through the Village Dump, to your left you will see that a n00b was just kidding, jeez, and to your right you will see that Rockstar Games reads Uncyclopedia. In the former, users urge the poor fellow to read HTBFANJS and BGBU (the same ones that they probably haven't read). If anything is to be drawn from this, it is that true editing comes from within. Or something.

Check out these pages! Uncyclopedia:Worst or Not? The Debate Rages On Free Advertisement for Jumping Ship Spreading the Good Word About New Articles From our logs: 23:04, October 9, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.90.32.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(That was a waste of an edit. There are edit-starved kids in China that would've used that to its fullest extent, you know.) 10:48, October 13, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Dwarfman1122 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(Thought you wouldn't be caught, eh? Maybe now you'll think twice the next time you vandalize and then wait three weeks to be banned.) 18:27, October 13, 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.245.120.78 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(Please enjoy our token Fuck the Hell Off.....) 08:10, October 15, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Sudeepk9 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week (wow, we are a beacon of sunshine today, aren't we?) 21:27, October 17, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(A wizard did this.) 17:36, October 19, 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 72.93.168.203 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (Liking Naruto and insisting we stop making fun of it. What? How is that not a reason to permanently ban someone?) Biopic of the Week Sog1970 has churned out a dozen featured articles in just a few short months, earning him a Writer of the Month nod and now, the most esteemed honor on Uncyclopedia, an UnSignpost biopic. The lack of information on his user page makes writing said biopic rather difficult, but let it be known that Sog radiates awesome. Old School Featured Article of the Week Life's Answerable Questions are a series of ponderances and queriums that have most certainly not chafed at mankind the way other, more disgustingly unanswerable questions have. For example, asking "What's new?" to a stranger will certainly elicit a less confused response than one of those other questions. You know the ones we mean. CAJEKWATCH 05:42, October 15, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 7 minutes ‎(Because I saw you existing.) 01:23, October 16, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎(HOLY SHIT IT'S CAJEK HI CAJEK PS BANBANBAN LOLOLOL) 13:21, October 22, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 147 seconds ‎(I think I'm stressed, I need a release, and this is the best available on this wiki) Random Obscene Japanese Lesson "Kimi no te de boku o ikasete." means "Make me cum with your hand." "Kimi no oppai ga DEKAI yo! Ii nee." means "Your breasts are HUGE! Nice." "Omawarisan! Chikan o tsuka-mate!" means "Police! Arrest this pervert!" That should keep you little squirts happy... Reason to Leave Uncyc #387 Still no good restaurants. This Week in Uncyc, 1933 With the United States deep in a depression, the Uncyclopedia tri-weekly newsreel tried to lighten the mood by poking fun at American President Herbert Hoover and his bumbling sidekick of a Vice President, the famed Charles Curtis. Gags included, and were limited to, both individuals being hit repeatedly with rubber chickens. Mass Delusion of the Week Last week, many users claim to have had similar psychic visions of an alternate Main Page, which told them to do things in a calm, soothing voice. Such notions are of course nonsense; 7 out of the 10 members who sit on the Uncyclopedia Paranormal Activity Investigation and Acupuncture Licensing Board agree that a combination of swamp gas and Venus caused some users to hallucinate vividly, some nearly to the point of seizure. Record for Most Boxes Tied Due to the overwhelmingly large number of stories in this week's extremely humorous edition of the UnSignpost, a correspondingly overwhelmingly large number of space-wasting side boxes had to be added to cause the issue to weigh equally on both sides of reader's talk pages. As a result, the record for number of such boxes has been tied; this issue, along with the March 24th, 1983 edition, have had the most wasted space! Record Broken!!!

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9001(bot)  18:12, Oct 23 Thank you--Click me^{NO NOT ME!!} _{I don't care if you click me} 19:26, October 23, 2009 (UTC)