User:Chicken4War/MAAAAin Page
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Sexual harassment ("HAIR-iss-mint") is harassment or unwelcome attention of a sexual nature. It includes a range of behavior from mild transgressions and annoyances to serious abuses which can even involve forced sexual activity – but honestly, why don't we relax a little bit? Jiggle for me, baby. Yeah. Yeah, that's great.
Eighty percent of men are drawn to your tits, but I'm an ass man and, honest to God, I think Michelangelo sculpted your rear end. Ninety percent of me wants to lie down on that back porch right here, right now. Man, if these walls weren't glass, I'd have to chain myself to the desk. Oh, come on. Don't get so uptight, honey. My bark's a lot worse than my bite. But don't take my word for it. If you catch my drift. (Full article...)
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- ... that Captain Autofellatio (Pictured) often gets distracted from crime-fighting?
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
- ... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
- ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
- ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
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- Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
- Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
- Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" (Pictured)
- Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
- THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
- Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!!
- New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing the NBA Finals
- Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice
- Taylor Swift buys back her masters
- "Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's social media feud • The IRS hunting late tax payers • NBA finals and Stanley Cup • Aaron Rodgers finally signing with a team
Recent deaths: George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • Carolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly Stallone Stone • Brian Wilson
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success and ego • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Los Angeles, again
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June 14: Really Long Events Day
- 1882 - Longest breath holding contest starts in Aberdeen, Scotland. Contestants have still refused to breathe, on account of being dead.
- 1939 - German engineers unveil longest train in the world. As of 2025, giant line of old men are still waiting to fuck a skeleton.
- 2001 - Scientists find a very long worm, not by any means a world record breaker, but still very long.
- 2009 - Experimental artist creates world's most tortuously long song, it is just "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train, with no modifications whatsoever.
- 2012 - Man discovered to have the longest penis, but since it starts way up in the clavicle it's only two inches on the outside.
- 2019 - You wait for a package from Amazon, it takes two days to get here! What the fuck?
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The revised logo for the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa has been designed to incorporate the host nation's actual national sport... Image credit: Sonje |
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- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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UnNews
News on crack -
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia -
Undictionary
Best left unsaid -
UnTunes
Noisy things -
UnGames
Ways to waste away -
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures -
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Content-free books -
Unquotable
Useless misquotes -
Uncycloversity
No student loans -
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred -
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant -
UnScripts
We ruin stage too -
Why?
Because -
UnReviews
Hack frauds -
UnVoyage
Armchair travel -
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,187 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
- More than 10,000 articles: Português · Boarisch · 日本語 · Polski · Plattdüütsch · Italiano · Español · Français
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- More than 100 articles: فارسی · عَرَبِيّ · Türkçe · Català · Norsk (Nynorsk) · Српски / Srpski · Hrvatski · Lietuvių · Latina · Tagalog · Български · Simple English · Latviešu · Mirandés · Македонски · Română · Cymraeg