Euroipods
A website giving away free ipods in return for
a) money
b) reffering freinds to do the same
| Visit http://www.euroipods.com today for yours! | ||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Would you like to learn more about euroipods? (You would, wouldn't you?)
 At euroipods.com, our goal is to provide you with quality free iPods at a reasonable price. We unconditionally guarantee every free iPod we give away for the full amount of purchase! If you're not satisfied, you can return your iPod to us, no questions asked! And if anyone ever asks, we never even heard of you! How can we do it?Our super-efficient distribution center is located in the heart of Uzbekistan, well within range of passing American helicopter gunships. Consisting of three wheelbarrows and a small goat, this ultramodern euroipods.com facility can ship up to five iPods per day directly to your door! Many shipments even include postage! And if anyone ever asks, we never even heard of you! Our customers agree!
 God, after receiving His free iPod.
Please note that this offer does not apply in Utah, North America, South America, Florida, Africa, Australia, Super Asia, Antarctica, Google-land, Mars, Europe, or Microsoft. (For Microsoft customers, packages containing the severed nut-sack of Steve Ballmer, adorned with a plastic novelty squirt-flower, will be shipped instead.) Please note some more that we are not actually giving away money or reffering to freinds. Nor are we supporting in any rhyme, reason, way, or bicycle the sale, leasing, holding, or pushing out your arse of free iPods. All fake restrictions apply. All real restrictions are on lunch break. You may already have won a million coupons for breath mints (actual value: $-0.0039), which is fortunate because you probably need them, badly. We are also in no way responsible for anything whatsoever, nor do we assume responsibility for the foregoing statement that says we are not responsible for anything whatsoever, which includes this statement that we're making right now. Please continue to note that euroipods.com does not provide any warranties or other asssurances whatsoever that your once-happy public collaborative internet site will not be severely and perhaps irrevocably affected by pointless, petty, nasty, mean-spirited, ugly, emotionally disturbing, vulgar, hateful, divisive, insane, (did we mention "petty" yet?) stupid, incoherent, malicious, cheap, narrow-minded, pusillanimous, despicable, incomprehensible, and seriously gay ad hominem personal attacks regarding the dissemination of information about euroipods.com. Please fail to note entirely that if you edit this article, even to correct spelling mistakes, you will be blocked from editing Uncyclopedia for a period of approximately 60 minutes. During that time, you may go to the bathroom, play with your pet kittens, have wild sex with your spouse or "significant other," bake a pie, drive your car to the laundromat in a pathetically cheap and vain attempt to pick up women (or men, as the case may be), dive into a pool of molten lava, watch yet another tedious episode of 24, or even edit some other website entirely. The purpose of the 60-minute period is to allow Uncyclopedia administrators to thrust their collective nut-sacks out in your general direction, in order to demonstrate their superiority over you at the task of maintaining high quality standards. If you should be stupid enough to return after 60 minutes, you will probably be blocked from editing for a further 24 hours, simply because large nut-sacks exist to be demonstrated at every possible opportunity. During this period, you may wish to shut down your computer entirely, and possibly trade it in for something more useful, such as a wad of toilet paper or a piece of moldy cheese. Should you remain stupid enough to return after the 24 hours are over, you will, in all likelihood, be sysopped. At that point, you might as well just commit suicide. For still more highly useful informationEuroipods (video game) • Blah, Blah, Blah • Euroipods Crusade • Neuroipods • Euripides
And as if all that wasn't inexplicable enough |
 Featured Article (read another featured article)
Featured version: 1 December 2005
This article has been featured on the front page. You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
|
 Cream of the Crap (ish).
This article was one of the Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2005
|
