After School Tea Time

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After School Tea TIme. Left to Right: Mio Akiyama, Mugi Kotobuki, Ritsu Tainaka, and Yui Hirasawa. Don't you want to rape them?


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“I think someone may want to rape these girls.”

~ Captain Obvious on After School Tea Time

After School Tea Time, also known as 放課後ティータイム by Japanese people, and as Hōkago Tī Taimu by people who wish they were Japanese but aren't, are one of the most popular pop/rock bands in the world today and the subject of the award winning documentary TV series, K-On! or けいおん! in Japanese. Originating in Japan, the band is made up of five Japanese teenage girls. Their extraordinary popularity stems from the curious fact that everyone over the world wishes to rape them.

The Band[edit]

Old Band Members[edit]

  • Yui Hirasawa: Yui provides lead vocals, lead guitar and lead castanets for After School Tea Time. Before she was accepted into the band, Yui was in a British metal band where she played the castanets. One year into the band's national tour they realized that castanets were not "brutal" enough so they left her to die in Japan. Yui ex-band then changed their name from Yui, and the crusaders to Iron Maiden shortly after her departure . After being marooned in Japan she she decided to steal a Les Paul guitar and join After School Tea Time. She is moe as all hell.
  • Ritsu Tainaka: Ritsu plays drums for After School Tea Time. Despite only being the drummer, and thus fairly expendable, she is considered the de facto leader of the band. She is a devout Haruhiist and Mio Akiyama's lesbian lover. Although Ritsu is an original member of the band, she was forced to leave the band after getting the band banned from the Vans Warped Tour by engaging in a brawl with a crowd member who demanded her to reveal her breast. This took place on June 23rd, 2003. After School Tea Time acquired a new band leader/drummer shortly after. Their replacement drummer's true name was never revealed due to legal issues but he was shortly dropped after his arrival due to his obsession with raping Yui when she wasn't looking. Ritsu was accepted back into the band on February 1st, 2004 due to popular demand by her loyal fans. She is full of energy and has a tendency to forget important things. This makes certain people want to rape her.
  • Tsumugi Kotobuki: Tsumugi, called Mugi by everybody to the point where her real name has been rendered irrelevant, is the keyboardist of After School Tea Time. Mugi seems to be a very happy and carefree person but that is due to the overwhelming amount of medication she has been prescribed due to her medical condition that causes her to randomly abuse, stab, fondle, and or consume her bandmates. During performances she will just stop playing, set fire to her keyboard and proceed to beat the nearest band member, which usually happens to be Ritsu. On December 22, 2005 she was taken into custody after she violently beat Yui with Mio's bass guitar during the middle of a performance. after her arrest she was placed in a mental hospital for the criminally insane/sexy. This is when she was prescribed multiple medications to stop her random acts of violence, arson, and illegally downloading music. A side effect to the medication causes her to constantly feed anyone she sees. Her family is stupidly rich, to the point where they likely own everything that you think you own. She likes cake and is very bisexual. Though perhaps the least popular for rape, there are still about one hundred times as many people who want to rape her then there are variants of the word "rape" in this article. She bears the eyebrows of Chuck Norris, their mere presence causing men to cower in fear.
Azu-nyan, seen here wanting to be raped.

New rapeable band mambers[edit]

  • Azu-nyan: Azu-nyan is a magical spirit that has taken the form of a very young catgirl and has decided to lend After School Tea Time her amazing power by acting as their rhythm guitarist, wielding a weapon used by a loser who kicked the bucket. Generally considered to be one of the most dangerously adorable forces in the known world, there is literally no one who does not want to rape her. Who wants to rape her most you ask? You, <insert name here>. Azu-nya laster betraed the band only helping them because she wanted to be more moe. Azu-nya sends the girls to hell which end's After school tea time. luckily Azu-nya was smart enough to create a new band With Ui, Jun, Sumire and Nao. She later starts to date Ui the new guitarist.
  • Ui Hirasawa: Ui is the end result of a partly successful experiment conducted by the Japanese government to mass produce something as rapeable as After School Tea Time by cloning Yui Hirasawa. Something went wrong in the experiment, and Ui ended up being completely the opposite of Yui in terms of capability, and intelligence, despite them being physically almost identical. This causes some to question why the band doesn't replace Yui with Ui. The answer is that stupidity makes Yui more rapeable and thus more vital to the group image. Not that Ui isn't rapeable. She totally, totally is. Later when she helps Azu-nya to kill the girls Ui becomes the new Yui stealing her les paul guitar and is the most popular girl to get raped in the band. She Later starts to date Azu-nya.
  • Jun Suzuki: Jun is a After School Tea Time groupie with a fetish for being raped. She started following the band around when she realized how many people get raped there. She spends lots of time with Azusa, so she can learn how best to get raped. However, so far not that many people have wanted to rape her. She has lesbian crushes on both Ui and Azusa and dreams about them both raping her at the same time. When she fails to get raped, Jun just reads rape hentai manga instead. After she finds out Azu-nya and Ui killed after school tea time the force her to become the basses. In 2008 Jun had a strange out burst beating up Her fellow band mates instrumnets. She was sent to a mental hospital later one and when she came back she randomly got raped by Azu-nya and Ui.
  • Sumire Saitō: Sumire was Mugi's ex sex slave that she smuggled from Austria. After Sumire found out the Azun-nya and Ui Killed After school tea time she threantend to call the cops. Azun-nya and Ui kidnapped Sumire and forced her to become the new drummer. It's said that Sumire is seeing Ui secretly, and one night Sumire was attacked by Azu-nya putting Sumire in the hospital. Sumire came back In Janurary 2010, but found out that The band got a new drummer that was the ex-drummer of after school tea time and mistakes Ui for Yui. They fired him for rapeing Ui.
  • Nao Okuda: Nao use to be a punk rocker hat always listened to After school tea time music. While driving on her motercycle one day she stupidly falls of a cliff. She bang her head on a rock and was found by Azu-nya. Azu-nya said That nao use to be able to play every instrument in existence but because she banged her head she can't play anything anymore. Show Sawako decideds to make her the Bands producer.

People Who Aren't Part of the Band, but Hang Around Them Anyway So That They Can Get Raped[edit]

  • Sawako Yamanaka: Sawako is the manager of After School Tea Time and formerly their teacher. Once a heavy metal artist of some notoriety, she has helped guide the girls of After School Tea Time on their path to super-stardom. She is best known for having given the band it's ridiculous name. A fan of raping the members of After School Tea Time herself, her association with the band has led to a growing number of people who wish to rape her.
  • Nodoka Manabe: Nodoka is some random girl with short hair and glasses who hangs around After School Tea Time occasionally for some reason. She has a known history with Yui that may or may not include lots and lots of sex. She is also rumored to be close to Mio, something that is known to cause jealousy in Ritsu. In other words, she is a lesbian. People also probably want to rape her or something.
  • Satoshi Tainaka: Satoshi is Ritsu's shota younger brother. He very much enjoys it when Mio sleeps over, because he rapes her in her sleep. He also sniffs her panties when she isn't looking. Speaking of panties, he is the one who picked out her striped panties which she wore at the first live concert. He is also quite rapeable himself, for certain people.

People Who Don't Want to Rape After School Tea Time[edit]

Do Not Exist

For the rape fantasies of the desperate.

Now, you may be saying, but what about homosexual men and women without tendencies toward lesbianism? Surely they don't want to rape these girls, right? WRONG! I direct your attention to the picture at the right. Look, it's our rapable After School Tea Time girls drawn as yaoi pretty boys. The existence of this image is scientific evidence that the urge to rape After School Tea Time exists somewhere in the depths of the soul for even those not interested in girls.

So, simply put, it's universal. Anyone who says they do not want to rape After School Tea Time is going to Hell for lying.


Though famous for being raped, After School Tea Time is also a band. They make music and stuff.

See also[edit]

This article is part of the Wonderful Japan series
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