User:Aleister/archive12

I break your empty talkpage

With a cactus.

-- >> Hello, my name is Sir Lollipop, and I am Canadian! 18:48, 2 June 2011

AHHHHHHHHH! A man can't be away from his new page for a minute without being raped by a cactus. I'll be shitting needles for a month! Al 18:52 2-6-'11

It was a hot female cactus. -- >> Hello, my name is Sir Lollipop, and I am Canadian! 18:56, 2 June 2011

Still, needles. And a stray cactus bug or two, maybe a lizard. Still hurts, too. It will make me think twice about making a new talk page during the hours you are usually on! Aleister 19:02 2-6-'11

Carrot top

hehe-LOL Portal:Comedy/Topics
check out History of Comedy for you --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 03:35, June 3, 2011 (UTC)

That's funny and sad. I hate that guy. Now we are playing talk page tag over three pages, I'll try for a fourth. Aleister 3:40

Well I started the talk page for Lollipop's A&C stub. also, notice the theme in the topics where I started to confuse comedians with communists. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 03:44, June 3, 2011 (UTC)

No, I had just read the first line. Very clever and well written! I think I'll run up a couple of edits on one of my stray pages and then call it a day here. Back 2morrow! Al few minutes later

Oooh

I just understood the "pole deancer" joke. Nice one. --Mimo&maxus 13:40, June 3, 2011 (UTC)

Hi Mimo! Thanks. My mother was a pole dancer, that's how she met dad. They taught me pole dancing early, and I had a pole in my crib! Life is goooooood when youse a pole dancer. Aleister minutes later

Thanks

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

I appreciate it, and stuff.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:10, June 3, 2011 (UTC)

---

Chicago Seven

Your review, sir. I hope it's helpful. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:30, June 3, 2011 (UTC)

sub cats

I take categories seriously as well, but in the case of categroy bloat, I was trying to get the Politicians Category down to one page. I will shift my emphasis to miscategorized articles until we reach a consensus .--K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 10:25, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

See Forum:Category categories for the reason that some people are cat diffusing. I oppose the idea by the way. --Mn-z 12:47, June 4, 2011 (UTC)

Hi. (I answered kevillips on his talk page), I've read the forum and can't really understand what people either want, did, or voted on. If there is any hint of consensus in there, I missed it. But will go back and read it more carefully later. So it seems any cat dismemberment (one of my hobbies, by the way, and selling cat paws as good luck chains is a very lucrative business too) is both fine and not fine, much like Schrödinger's cat itself (a category which should be deleted). "Actors" and "Actresses" seems to work fine as long as a big notice directs a person to the other category (especially directing people to "Actresses" because a high perscentage of people consider all actors as actors.). Others, not so much. Cats is so interesting isn't it? And as you know, working on catting random pages and pics really lets you know the site semi-well, at least for finding some interesting things in there. Aleister 18:21 4-6-'11

What happened:

1. User:Lyrithya unilaterally replaces {{subcat}} with [[Category:Category name]] in categoryspace
2. That causes sub-cats to no longer are moved to the front of a category's content, which makes large cats even more inconvenient
3. I point out why said unilateral action was a bad idea
4. Lyrithya suggests that the problem can fixed by diffusing all categories
5. I point out that doing so is stupid
6. Nobody supports me in petitioning to restore the use of {{subcat}}
7. I therefore go on the cat diffusing crusade with various other users
8. ?????
9. profit. --Mn-z 00:18, June 5, 2011 (UTC)

You have held up the boat well, and please don't join the diffusers. I didn't know about this, and probably few user do. Why would Lyrithya do that, just out of the blue change a stand-by of categorizations? Where are the other admins? Mordillo? May God help uncy in its hours of need. Aleister 00:21 4-6-'11

What we need is mass outrage to restore {{subcat}}. MASS OUTRAGE!!!

Also, repopulating diffused categories shouldn't be too hard with the use of a bot, assuming they are properly diffused. --Mn-z 00:29, June 5, 2011 (UTC)

L should just do it out of the kindness of heart and fairness of, ah, fair. There are too many good cats with 200 or more pages, esp. Image cats and cats with images, so reverting and junkpiling that bot seems the best solution. What do you suggest next, oh meh leader. Al moments later

I tried reasoning with her, it didn't work. What we need to do is form a mass consensus against the removal of {{subcat}}. I would suggest vote for my petition to restore {{subcat}} in Forum:Category categories --Mn-z 00:59, June 5, 2011 (UTC)

I seem to remember seeing some discussion with User:Sannse about this subcat and she seemed to suggest it was the thing to do, but I may have been drinking at the time so maybe she was against it, but in any case - Sannse said something. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 01:15, June 5, 2011 (UTC)

User:Betty Boop

So it was you all along! I knew it. --Black Flamingo 14:48, June 5, 2011 (UTC)

Betty does have such a nice username and was only here for one vanity edit years ago, so I used her user page to put some stuff. Betty Boop does need her own page though. Thanks for reminding me of her user page, and I will look at it again. Aleister 16:08 5-6-'11

Your changing of the headers only validates my theory. --Black Flamingo 22:21, June 5, 2011 (UTC)

So you're not playing along huh? I must now retire. Not me, the other guy. Did one article though, and then out. And it's a damn good article! One of my best if read from a certain angle and perspective. Retirement looms. Al Hussein Eister 23:54 5-6-'11

Well, I liked it. Didn't I review that one? --Black Flamingo 19:36, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

THE THING !!!!!!!!!!!

Aleister, I don't want to alarm you...but have you heard about the thing too? --ShabiDOO 23:57, June 5, 2011 (UTC)

Yes? No, actually. OK, I'll bite like a fish. What thing? Al minutes later, I had to go to the bathroom or something

Hey Aleister...its pretty straight forward really. Either you know about the thing or you don't. You would know id you did? Do you??? --ShabiDOO 00:22, June 6, 2011 (UTC)

Yes. Yes, of course I do. The thing. You mean James Arness? Of course you do. RIP, Miss Kitty's lover, rest in peace. Aleister 00:24 that day

Oh Zeesh. Don't tell me. You don't know about the thing. And even worse...you thought you did. Ahh zheesh! He doesnt know. Uff. --ShabiDOO 00:28, June 6, 2011 (UTC)

My First Solo Attempt

Hey! I gave the unNews my first try. Let me know what you think. It is at http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/UnNews:David_Cameron_-_Nick_Clegg_Wedding_Announced I think I am getting the hang of it now! And its a lot of fun too :-). Take it easy; talk to you soon! DaveFromMars 00:38, June 6, 2011 (UTC)

Hi, and thanks. Must sign off any minute, so I'll get to this on the morrow. But before then an eagle-eyed UnNews editor will probably get in touch with you, and hopefully put this on the main page (from what I see at a quick glance it seems quite good). And actually I'm curious to read it. All the UnNews that's fit to print. Aleister minutes later

Hey Dave...nieeeeeeeeece!!! Good sense of timing. You got a lol out of me ;) --ShabiDOO 00:46, June 6, 2011 (UTC)

Stayed around and read it. Bravo! Bravo, I say. Aleister 00:49 6-6-'11

Thanks Aleister! And thanks for the help getting started. DaveFromMars 01:06, June 6, 2011 (UTC)

You are very welcome. More tomorrow. Al minutes later

I gave it another try. Let me know what you think! (Robert Mugabe Identity Revealed)DaveFromMars 02:08, June 7, 2011 (UTC)

Was it you...

...or your brother that died in the gulf? Pup 01:37 06 Jun '11

The Gulf of Tonkin, that was me. Then was reincarnated, knowing way too much about the false flag operation there. Damn you Lyndon Johnson, damn you. Aleister 1:39 6-6-'11

I'm thinking about doing something, but still only thinking. What do you think? Pup 01:44 06 Jun '11

None of that stuff are the thing either!!! --ShabiDOO 01:49, June 6, 2011 (UTC)

Thinkin' bout the way it used to be. As well as this guy, and some other things. Aleister 1:51 6-6-'11

You are so close its like you are pretending you dont know --ShabiDOO 01:56, June 6, 2011 (UTC)

Shabidoo, you know I know the thing, but I know you don't know the thing, and this is just your attempt to weasel out the details of the thing from me. I am not going to give you the answer. Pup 01:58 06 Jun '11

Eeeeeegad Puppy. You are cunning and devious. Well...then......I guess I'm done here. But don't...DON'T think I won't find out. It's a matter of weeks until someone lets it out. --ShabiDOO 02:04, June 6, 2011 (UTC)

WOTM!

Wow! Thanks for the nomination, I feel really honored! Especially since I've been mostly absent for a few months now. It's not that I've completely forgotten being around here, I've just been so busy. I'm currently working in the U.S. Congress as an intern, so I've got a real 9-5 now (more like 8-6) plus all the extra time in between for commuting and sleeping, so not too much free time. I do intend on jumping back into Uncyc at some point this summer, possibly when the U.S. House is recessed and I don't have to work so much. Anyways, thanks again for the nomination and it really means a lot to me. Stay in touch! -- Sf13 0044 EST 6 June 2011

A US governemt intern. I've heard that's a bit of a mouthful. Pup 07:58 06 Jun '11

(answered on Skinfan's talk page) Aleister

Logos

It'll help if you start using {{logo}} for fake logos so they keep working with the fake vector skin. I changed them to that on your user and talkpage, and also scaled them down, which brings me to my other point - could you please stop making them so big? They cover up bits of the interface, mainly the link to your talkpage, which since you don't link to that in your signature, it's kind of a problem for some people. And the one here also made the navigation menu rather hard to read with vector, so please... just smaller. If you want them large, put them somewhere else or something, maybe. Thanks. 1234 ~ 07:32, 6 June 2011

That was my fault. I was asked how to do it when Al was still a youngster and I said I'll do that and it was never changed back to the way it should have been. Pup 08:02 06 Jun '11

First I've heard of this strange {{logo}} code. Thanks? for the changes. I upsized the talkpage pic a little, but it's not covering anything important now. The one on the user page is now just an empty space on my skin, so I'll try to fix that and will have no luck. Aleister 11:40 6-6-'11

Well, the {{logo}} thing is new, so aye, why would you have heard of it? Made it because vector really plays havok with the absolute positioning, though, and if you saw the fake vector and think that is bad about it, you should see what real vector does; it's awful. Can't even slap a featured-star on a page properly. But eh.

But you know what? Fine. I added some parameters to the template itself so the overflow is hidden. If you really want to make them bigger, it just won't show up. As such, I advise 160px wide max, as that's the cutoff point. More than that, it'd cover up the title and tabs, in this case just the user tab, but even that is annoying, and also makes the navigation menu nigh unreadable. 1234 ~ 00:30, 8 June 2011

That is totally non-peace corps unfair. First you, with an authoritive voice, say "Change to my new thing, logo code, little man" and Puppy changes it, so I do. But I enlarge the pics so they don't overrun the buttons to the talk page just like you requested. Fine. Now you come and say "Fuck you now, little man, I put iimits on the thing I asked you to change to, so now the pics have to be the size I say and no sizier." Please take the limits off and put my pics back the size they were, where they weren't hurting anything. Aleister 00:36 minutes later

Sorry. I'm just not in the mood to argue over this... the main concern was indeed the talkpage, but covering up or obscuring bits on the interface at all without good cause is not really the thing to do in general, and that's exactly what having it bigger does. Enforcing the limits in the template, however, also allows for longer images to be used at a larger size without the longer part messing stuff up, as it'll just chop it off, and also should help prevent folks who just don't know what they're doing from messing stuff up too much in general. 1234 ~ 00:53, 8 June 2011

There is nothing obscuring the things you had concerns about, and as I understand it a person's user pages are theirs to do with what they wish. Is that rule gone now? Aleister minutes later

It isn't, but crap it can be annoying. For example, I can't click back to your userpage when on your talkpage. What's up with that? It's not a hard and fast rule, of course, but common courtesy to your fellow users. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 02:06 Jun 08, 2011

I'm having the same problem (using the default skin, 1152x864 screen resolution, Google Chrome) --Mn-z 02:11, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

It's more... do what you want, but within reason, in my experience. Some things have just been no-nos, userpages solely for advertising, for instance, or with goatse, or that mess up the interface, indeed... and there is precedent; I've deleted some for all three of those things in the past, and I doubt I'm the only one who has. And yes, it's a lot worse on the vector skin, especially if you don't use proper templature; nevermind the size cutoff; it's actually lower and thus hides even more of the menu. 1234 ~ 02:18, 8 June 2011

This is almost as bad as that time Hype decided to remove categories from userpages of extremely inactive users. --Mn-z 02:03, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

There are inactive users? Seems to be a disagreement about size. I don't know what the vector skin looks like and how the pics in question look on that skin. On my screen you can click back on the main page, So I didn't kinow it obscures that. But the question here was the pics covering up the "discussion" button on the user page and "main page" on the navigation, which are not covered up at all now. So it seemed like a nonissue, as I don't intend to size-up logos on real-life main pages, but I'll size down the talk page pic because of what you guys have noticed, about the useer page link. And I also have an x-rated pic of Congressman Weiner, how much would that go for on e-bay? Aleister 2:12 8-6-'11

welcome to my user page

Al, no one is trying to stifle your artistic freedom, But since your sig does not have a direct link to your talk page, and your do like to talk on other people pages, trying to talk on yours is a royal pain in the ass. Perhaps do you use a different skin that default, so you do not see how out of proportion your larger logo area images look and function? is what people saw when clicking on your sig - no obvious talk page link, no obvious identity, and you plaster this link on every page you write on. I understand, Big Cookie is your thing, and external links as well, but this is your identity you are presenting to the userbase with each of your messages. Admittedly it is more visitor friendly now, but barely. I am one to talk, I have a fricking strange user page as well. but the links all work right. I end with, I am pretty sure this would not even be a topic if your sig had a link to your talk page. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 02:20, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

So your skin shows it that big? These different skins are the thing that's a pain. I'm going to have to make a signature thing, the reason I wasn't using one was that in 2010 I always used MMX, which probably wasn't on a signature template (maybe it was, I never asked). So I've always typed out the whole thing by hand, except when I used the sig that Zana Dark (remember her?) made for me. I'll try and make a sig that links to the talk page, and ease down the cookie. I wasn't aware people had a problem until now, thanks for clearing it up. Nice pic! Aleister 2:29

Also, on vector, the navigation menu does not cover up the thing - look. You've resolved this on your userpage, and thank you for that, but it's still an issue on your talkpage, and more so as that one's longer and darker. Something to consider. Another thing to consider, however, and possibly more important... perhaps upgrading your web browser? Maybe? Please? 1234 ~ 02:52, 8 June 2011

Why would it cover up stuff on one skin and not on another? Strange. And I don't have any idea how to update my web browser, whatever that is, or what it has to do with this stuff. What happens when it's "updated", and updated to what in particular? I didn't understand a word you said, of course, but can I un-update it if I find I don't like it? Aleister 2:57 8-6

Then you get a web browser that actually conforms to web standards, e.g. displays webpages correctly. It's really not a trivial thing. You can update it here. It's kind of important that you do. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 03:06 Jun 08, 2011

Metaphorically, if we were talking about cars instead of Internet You basically asked "what is gas or roadmaps?. Somehow, you jumped way ahead in a standard learning curve of the internets. The Web is just a way to present information. We use markup language to tell browsers what to do with the information. These markups change over time. Currently we are moving toward HTML5. as opposed to 1992's HTML1. Your browser, if out of date does not know what to do with the codes of newer markup. go tot he info tab and see about and see what you are using as a browser. Current browsers are Microsoft IE 8 and Firefox 4 and Chrome 10 etc. if something else you are living in the past. Not a bad thing, but like how TV changed from analog to digital and people had to adjust so did the www. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 03:38, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

Actually I'd argue that not upgrading is a bad thing, since you're going to start seeing very broken webpages soon if you haven't already. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 03:48 Jun 08, 2011

I have to recant my not a bad thing. From a malware and security standpoint out of date browsers are more vulnerable. So I agree with the Skully on this. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 15:30, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for all the advice, links, and all. I don't really know much about this stuff, my brother-in-law set the computer's settings up for me a litle over two years ago. So the link you provided wants to update me to an 8. I'm gonna study if any negatives have been reported with an upgrade, if it disrupts your own settings and page views in any serious way. I've got the tools and net access buttons where I like them, and from all of your screen-shgots it looks like there are as many ways to set things up as there are computers. Will my settings stay the same with an upgrade, and has anyone found any problems with it? You guys are all wizards of computer tech from where I sit, and probably in the overall world everyone on here but me knows about this stuff. Thanks again! Aleister 21:44 8-6

It might make more sense to get another web browser. The only think I use internet explorer for is to download Firefox or Google Chrome. --Mn-z 21:59, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

That means as much to me as if Mimo was talking greek. I don't know if I use internet explorer or not. Anyway, so do problems come up if I switch over with what I have now, whatever that is. I probably won't talk much tonight, time spent here will be writing on a page. Thanks again! Aleister 22:08

Read this, or perhaps have your brother in law upgrading] - something to understand, is your settings only affect how it looks to you. That is what all the disparate images were meant to convey, (and why we were so adamant) . You cannot always control exactly how viewers see your content. You really only have the ability to aim at what you want to present. Kind of like driving in snow, you can turn so much as aim. Its often a good idea, but not always practical to check your web work on another persons computer to see if anything funky happens like big ass Oreos LOl. your preferences should stay largely the same after the upgrade, including the bookmarks and favorites. By all means, read the messages during the upgrade process, and you should be pretty well off. But here is an exercise for you look at the top, and see Help Usually under that menu, there is a link to about Internet Explorer choose that and see what version you are using. If you are using version 6, you should not hesitate. It is going to stop working very soon. Also it is a magnet for malware and russian internet hackers that want to take your stuff. as for us being a wizard - I was there when they turned the internet on at my University. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 22:14, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

Criptoenight

Al, bro, this has a Pee Review by ChiefJustice - and not once did he object to the alternate spelling of Kriptonite ... And he's the Chief. If it was a problem at all then he would have said so. Just judge the article, Bro, not the title. Besides I can't change the title because it is already taken here. Cheers!--Funnybony    03:59, Jun 8

I'm scared.

We're agreeing on something. What is this madness?!

Er... I mean... hi? *makes a hasty exit* 1234 ~ 12:20, 9 June 2011

A broken clock is accurate twice a day, so I guess it happens. I've got lots of broken clocks, each one set to a different minute, so I cover all the bases. Where do you keep the seasoning? Aleister 12:25

I'm a broken digital clock. Does that count? The seasoning varies with the season, and as I'm not sure of the season, I really couldn't say, unfortunately. Also, you reminded me of something. Something important. What things are, where things go, what the other fellow knows, where the housecat goes... since when are the stated purposes of things really the actual purposes of the things? 1234 ~ 13:38, 9 June 2011

Whoops, if you are reminded of something important some portion of this wiki is about to get whacked. Since you speak of seasonings, cumin over and seasame sometime. Bay leaf watch. Al 13:46

Actually, it was something important that might hopefully prevent it from getting whacked... I'm not all destruction, love. Just... mostly. *beams*

Seems you know your seasonings well, though... and... shows? o_O 1234 ~ 23:15, 9 June 2011

Interweb Bowsers wow wow

In my ongoing effort to stay on top of internet wizardry, I frequently look at software reviews/ Tonight I was looking for a good browser comparison page, and found one, that I thought would also work for your education on the topic we touched on earlier.

• browser reviews

--K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 00:59, June 11, 2011 (UTC)

I would disagree with that review. It looks like it places too much value on "bells and whistles" features at the expense of loading webpages quickly and neatly. I currently use Google Chrome. I like it because it fast, "clean", and does not have a dozen toolbars showing 100 buttons I never use. I formerly used Firefox, but for some reason, it no longer loads many web pages. Opera is clunky, almost as bad as internet explorer. The only thing I use Internet Explorer for is downloading Chrome and/or Firefox. --Mn-z 01:28, June 11, 2011 (UTC)

Keep in mind the question "what is a browser" was posed. It was the opening page with a browser overview and the importance up to date browsers that made me thing of Al. I use Chrome for the bulk of my browsing, but Firefox for editing wikia, because I seem to have page load fails when editing in chrome.--K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 01:39, June 11, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks Kev, for all the stuff. I did upgrade to Explorer 8, and found some glitches and changes not to my liking but that's the territory. MrN, your use of chrome interests me. It sounds like you can switch between browsers, is that an easy push-button process or does it take digging into the code each time a switch is made? I'll read the review and at least try to familarize myself with some of the terminology. What's a browser? for example. Aleister 10:07 11-6

[walks into Aleister's bedroom, making furnace noises through snuffle] f-f-f-f-f-f-f [pokes Aleister with snuffle, Aleister jumps out of bed] --Snuffleupagus 16:25, June 11, 2011 (UTC)

IMHO Microsoft did computer users a big fat fail, when they integrated Browser functionality into Windows the operating system. In the Wild Wild West days of the WWW, you had an Operating system, and installed a web browser, such as Netscape and eventually MS Internet Explorer. Then Bill decided he wanted the whole computer to act like a big browser. But that gets confusing. So let me get to your question. Anything you use to get to a website is a browser. They are applications, programs whatever word you use for the stuff you do with yoru computer. MSWorks is an application as well. So is Notepad, freecell any game you may play. You use an application to check your email. It may be on your computer - like Outlook, or you may use a web based email like Hotmail or gmail. But in that case the application you are using is your browser. Inferring what you have said, you use Internet Explorer 8 now. Excellent. It is safe and secure. There are other browser applications out there. Chrome, Firefox and Opera are the next most popular English based ones. Some websites act funny on some browsers due mainly to lazy formating of the pages. I will not get into that, but can defend that position if challenged. As a self described person that does not like change, you may not like having multiple browsers. You have to change the way you do things with each one. Like driving your friend's car. The both go down the road, but the shift knob is different and the radio stations buttons are different, and the seat is not automatic and the mirrors are and the speedometer is in 10s instead of 5s and well maybe you can relate. The good thing about having multiple bvrowsers is you can see first hand that the web experienced by one user is not the same with every user. Think of a Television. You may like your colors bright and clear. Someone else, may prefer muted colors. The Tv stations cannot control that on our sets. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 18:09, June 13, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the vote on VFH!

Thank you for voting on my article HowTo:Face your upcoming death! I heard people send out message to people who voted for them as a sign of thanks. I would try personalizing this message instead of copying and pasting it into everyone's talk page, but I'm lazy. Maybe I'll send you some flowers to compensate?--User:CandidToaster/sig 12:12, June 12, 2011 (UTC)

Dickdickdickdickdick

You called me an IP here! Look at your vote! You ought to be ashamed of yourself! I'm glad you're banned! After you read this, spank yourself with a crowbar, and then email me a message stating "I'm a bad bad bad boy". -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:15, 12 June 2011

Mistakes were made. You are not an IP. You are a LolliP. Banned? You must have me mixed up with someone who's banned. And the only email you will get from me is from my real identity, a Nigerian prince who needs you to bank some money for me (all you have to do is wire transfer $5000 to my P.O. Box). Aleister 16:37 13-6-'11

That's you? Great, this is the first I have heard from you since I sent the wire transfer. My bank said you probably got the interbank routing number transposed. It's a 3 not an 8. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 16:44, June 13, 2011 (UTC)

Correct, Sir. Watch your account and mail these next few weeks for my answer. In the meantime, please, an additional $4000 of your monies will earn you an additional $50,000 no questions asked. Pleasure doing the business with you. Aleister where's my coat? must leave quickly now.

Odd, my wire did not arrive yet. --ShabiDOO 19:00, June 13, 2011 (UTC)

Wait a second. Mine was supposed to arrive by March. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:04, 13 June 2011

/whistles while packing bags, checking airline ticket, calling family in Nigeria to pick me up at the airport. Ywanda, here I come, have the chicken cooked when I arrive. Aleister 20:24 13-6-'11

/Begins a chase scene, motions Shabidoo, and runs after Aleister. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:26, 13 June 2011

/has already run so far ahead that there is no way for pursuers to catch up. "So long suckers" is heard in the Nigerian language Aleister 20:35

/Takes flight to Abuja, which is the capital of Nigeria. Gets a seat next to a hot brunette. *winks*. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:43, 13 June 2011

/hot brunette turns out to be a man, hahahahahahaheeheeheeheehee huh? As Lollipop goes to bathroom in airport to try to get the semen off iz takes my car, which is always parked at the airport. Drives away laughing and eating good food. Aleister 20:47 13-6-'11

It was a man? Shoot, I drew a picture of the flight.

-- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:52, 13 June 2011

Must admit it's a pretty cute guy. The some guy in the first seat looks like he's sniffing glue. /drives away quicker as Lollipop wastes time creating. Aleister 20:56

/Realizes he has a jetpack and catches up right behind car. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:57, 13 June 2011

/opens car door and let's in Lollipop. Once he's in jumps out the drivers side and car races towards a big Nigerian wall. Aleister 21:00

/Jetpacks out of the car, and tackles Aleister; punching him several times in the face and screaming "WHERE'S MY MONEY?" -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:38, 13 June 2011

/I see Lollipop tackle a look alike, sneaks up, disable jetpack, then jumps in a cab and drive away (must go fast now, be off-line for awhile as you run to catch the cab) Aleister 21:40

/Throws bomb at car, killing Aleister...oh wait, now I don't know where the money is. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:56, 13 June 2011

Meanwhile, shabidoo (who Aleister foolishly forgot all about) throws Aleister (who blows on on contact) at Lolipop who didnt suspect the double cross (who blows up even more) leaving Shabidoo to laugh at the carnage and take over Lolipop and Aleister as his sock pupets. Hahahahaha. Haahaahaahaa. Haaaaaahahahahaaaaaaaa. Muah ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Plplplplp. Falls down from exaustion half dead himself. --ShabiDOO 00:22, June 14, 2011 (UTC)

/from a cab, not a car, watches all the action from a distance of 100 feet. Eats good food while watching. Lollipop and Shabidoo, after once again killing and maiming Aleister look-alikes, have their fun and mayhem. Gets in the cab, drives past the scene, and waves. Aleister 1:39 14-6-'11

Oh well. I can always borrow some glue from that guy on the plane. *winks* (End Music). -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 04:09, 14 June 2011

An attempt to explain what a browser is

It's a bit like this. When you look at a webpage on the Internet - that is, any page you see while online, including this one here - there's a bit of a backstory as to how that page got on your screen. I know you might be pretty disinterested in what that is, but I'll give you the simplified version. You might think it's totally irrelevant to your life but it'll save you many headaches down the line if you try to understand.

It pretty much goes like this. The Internet isn't much more than a bunch of computers talking to each other. One of these computers has Uncyclopedia on it, the unfortunate little bugger. So when you want to pull up a page from Uncyclopedia, your computer talks to that other computer, which is called a server. The server then sends a bunch of information to your computer.

Now, if you looked at this information, you probably wouldn't be able to make much sense of it. That's because it's not quite a webpage yet. Instead, it's a bunch of instructions on how to make a webpage, like a recipe. A program on your computer, called a browser, reads these instructions and uses them to construct the webpage you see before you. Whatever you're seeing this webpage in right now is that program.

So as you can imagine, your browser is pretty important. It's responsible for carrying out those directions correctly and giving you a correctly-built page. Unfortunately, not all browsers are equal, and they do get old. An old browser can no longer recognize and carry out those instructions properly, because it doesn't know about the new instructions people have developed. This means you won't be seeing webpages how they're supposed to be seen.

But age isn't all that has to do with it. Internet Explorer is notorious for following those directions clumsily and messing up the webpages you're trying to see, no matter how up-to-date it may be. It might not be apparent to you straight away, because lots of developers make sure to give their webpages extra instructions just in case you have a clumsy browser like Internet Explorer. However, most other modern browsers are much better at following directions.

Besides that, there's also the issue of security. Because servers send instructions to the browser on your computer, they can also "trick" your browser into doing things you don't want, like installing viruses. Internet Explorer is the most popularly used browser (unfortunately), so most viruses are designed to trick IE. Other browsers, again, can't be tricked so easily into doing bad things to your computer.

If you want an easy-to-use browser that doesn't act much differently than what you have now, I highly recommend Google Chrome. It's designed to be simple, like Internet Explorer. Unlike Internet Explorer, however, it's much better at following directions and not getting tricked. It's even faster. For more information, check out WhatBrowser.org, which has a very very short video explanation of what a browser is also. Plus, it gives you download links to several other popular browsers. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:53 Jun 13, 2011

Ignire the retro-phrenologist above. If you're crawling a web you need a spider, which is why Arachne is the bomb! Pup 10:34 13 Jun '11

I just got this new computer from a guy on the street. Ain't too bad, and better than my last one. - Aleister 2:29 14-6-'11

Thank you for your essay and lesson, I will study. My experience with the new explorer is pretty negative. I no longer have a "I Feel Lucky" option on google, and when I edit here the page bounces around and really slows down whenever I try a link or a signature. As to the browser, my main question is if I choose another one, and upload it, what happens to the Explorer browser? Am I given an option to use one or the other? Thanks again for all the beans and stuff. Now I will try to sign this, very slow lag now. Aleister 1:44 14-6-'11

I like Firefox myself, for one Firefox 4.0.1 doesn't have the delays that the new version of IE seems to have, plus it has a very functional IRC plugin for a direct link to the chat channel. Google Chrome is pretty good too, but fewer plugins available. Which can be both a bad thing and a good thing (too many addons can slow a browser). -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 01:56, June 14, 2011 (UTC)

You can install as many browsers as you want and use whichever, or multiple at the same time. Hells, some browsers will even let you install multiple versions of the same ones and use them all at once if you want, so long as you're not using Windows 7... 1234 ~ 02:28, 14 June 2011

The reason you no longer see an "I'm feeling lucky" button on Google is because Google updated its search engine long ago to something called "instant search," so you can see results as you type without having to hit Enter. Unfortunately, the older version of Internet Explorer you were using couldn't handle the new technology, so Google had to present to you an older version - which included the now-antiquated "I'm feeling lucky" button - instead. That aside, the slowness you're experiencing is typical of Internet Explorer, so as I said before, I highly recommend Chrome instead. And yes, you can have as many web browsers as you like. They're just programs, after all. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 02:32 Jun 14, 2011

Thanks for all the data. My attention span is sitting there looking at all of this, feeling a learning curve coming on. Wants to go out for RiceDream instead. Will look all this over later. Oh, one more question, how do you then switch between browsers if you have more than one loaded up? Does my machine (pic above) give me an option once I log in, or is there a clicking place somewhere to move the browsers around? That should be the first thing I should know before loading up a couple. Thanks again. Aleister 2:36 14-6

Like I said, they're just programs, so you can find them in your Start Menu just like anything else. Easy! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 02:40 Jun 14, 2011

Thanks again. I seldom look in there. Mine is green. Aleister 2:42 14-6

Chrome is the best, be...wait, I came too late for this discussion, didn't I? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:30, 14 June 2011

No, thanks for the advice. /takes a match and lights the glue that Lollipop is sniffing, glue turns to molten glue Aleister 23:32 14-6-'11

Care for some wite out? /Lights wite out bottle -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:58, 14 June 2011

/leaves wite out bottle burning in Lollipop's hand, molten glue dripping onto it from his nose. Me gets in semi-fast car and drives away. Aleister 00:07 15-6-'11

/Watches as the car swerves from lane to lane before crashing through a fence and into a ditch. And I ain't helping, you took my money. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 00:11, 15 June 2011

Your money is in the other car, kind Sir, many thousands of dollars, as I have promised. It is there, in the back seat. /the money is glued to the sides of the back seat, glue on every Nigerian bill. Mez laughs.' Aleister 00:15

Lifted the following for inclusion here, for re-search purposes on stupid browsers:

Brought it to you as one of the more tech savvy admins. And as for problems with js and collapsible menu issues, I'm happy to leave that up to someone else. And I twitter this kind of stuff all the time, so a quick button would make my life so much easier. Pup 05:08 19 Jun '11

On collapsible menus - there are a number of potential options on what can be done to get them working, but due to browser specific issues either you have to essentially write it differently for IE, FF, and Google/Opera/Safari, or choose not to use them. Also have to consider that js is not active for all users, so using js client side is not the ideal solution. Pup 10:59 19 Jun '11

What do you mean? Modern browsers tend to be fairly consistent; IE seems to be the only one that really differs, and it still handles most of the basic stuff the same. Also, Opera does not use webkit, so I'm not sure why you'd lump it with those. And anyhow, if js isn't the idea solution, what would be? It's the most probable to even be supported by folks; that's all we have here save for html and css. css is spottily supported at best, and we don't actually have control of our html... 1234 ~ 11:34, 19 June 2011

I was thinking of pull-down menus - my mistake. But Opera and Chrome work very closely with W3C compliance, and safari - not the lite version, but the full version - also works extremely well. Firefox had (going back when I was coding pages daily) a few issues with positioning which meant that it didn't always have the same look as other browsers, although that may have changed. IE is of course a law unto itself. JS client side with a little getelementbyid and innerhtml display=none should do for your collapsible, but as not everyone has client side JS active (myself included) you need to ensure that your default is display=inline (or whatever) and have an onload display=none with a little toggle to change it. But, honestly, if it's a matter of changing the sidebar, for the most part I'd advise against it. The frame of Uncyc is that it looks like Wikipedia. If anything I'd be working on how we can upgrade the look to be more in that manner. Pup 12:39 19 Jun '11

End of talk page steal, more steal soon

Writings

Nice work on Muse. Have you read our Boyfriend yet? Matfen got involved; brought a tear to my eye. And my penis. Anyway, do you want to help with Inbox too? I'm recalling all the fun we had with lonely hearts and would love to have you on board again. Ideas are on the talkpage. --Black Flamingo 19:45, June 14, 2011 (UTC)

I guess I'd better get busy on those, especially Muse. Matfen is back? Yay! Sure, I'll be glad to jump in the inbox, thanks for asking. What did you want to do with it to make it super contagious? I put a couple items on but am not really that happy with them, some of the others are pretty good. I'll check if Prez Obama wants to join but I doubt it, he seems very busy with wars and depressions and things. Thanks again! Aleister 23:27 14-6-'11

I saw inbox and i'd like to help. I have a concept for it, i'd like to have a link to each email, or such. For questions, ask on thy talk page. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:59, 14 June 2011

An overly simplistic description of a browser

A Browser is a magic lookie window into the world of LOLCats. With a browser, uCANhasCHEEZBURGER all you want. If you are so inclined LOLcats can be other kind of felines. With a Browser you can visit sites. Sites are like lolcats, but there may not be cats. There may not be lulz. There will probably be pictures. But maybe more words. The scriblins of self important nobodies that scribble things down on these sites so that people with browsers look at their scribblins. Types of Browsers include but are not required to be:

• MickySnot InterWebs Destroyer.
• FlyFox from Mochachinchilla.
• MezzaSoprano from Norwegia.
• Gongle Crumb from Gongle.

It is important to have one or more browsers on your computer. One will be your defecating browser the one that pulls up all the shit when you click a link in an email. But you can have secondary or tertiary browsers among your other programs on your computer. You can even put short cuts to these other browsers on your desktop. Not the wooden one, but the one on your screen. Not your door screen but the one that you look at the lolcats with. Hope this helps. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 00:44, June 15, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you, it will be added to my study of the thing itself. You are a god among the menfolk, thanks for all the help. Your mentally challenged language choices lighten my load and give me hope that the light at the end of the funnel is a match about to light a bong. Appreciated! Aleister 00:50 15-6-'11

Early Cuyler spoke through me. I can decode it into fax if you wunt. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 01:17, June 15, 2011 (UTC)

Terribly sorry!

I thought I was expanding the idea of the page, since for me it wasn't very good, but, if I revert the page, I might get myself into more trouble. What have I gotten myself into now? I'll see what I can do.--User:CandidToaster/sig 03:50, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

Don't be sorry, and it was just a suggestion. If any move is made it's just a simple cut and paste. Now I feel bad that you feel bad. Aleister 4:00 16-6-'11

Now I feel bad that I've made you feel bad because I felt bad. I put the changes to the new article Bureau of Time Management, and reverted Bureau of Editing Time Itself back to its original form. The new article's name is quite similar, though.--User:CandidToaster/sig 04:08, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, there you go, that's a nice name. And I feel bad because you......and so on. I must sign offa this place anow. Aleister 4:11 16-6-'11

Requested Pages

Am I correct in the interpretation you are having trouble finding the requested articles page? In every post on Lyrithya's page, I used the short cut link UN:REQ and I am writing this, just to make sure the "couldn't find it" statement was prior to me supplying that. I too, was not sure where it was, but noticing a trend of other UNshortcuts, I tried UN:REQ and sure enough there it was. My whole sarcastic take on the topic of changes was not mean spirited. I just want to remind everyone that the wiki is never the same, day to day. --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 20:47, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, but you miss the point. I was not whining like a little girl because I couldn't run to the page, I never use the page. But it was on the navigation bar for the whole time I've been here and then an admin removes it within an edit which gave no indication in the summary box that "I am now removing the Requested Pages tool from the navigation bar". People use that tool, from the navigation bar. I will now remove two words from your post, just as if I were an admin and had the tools to remove things at will without bringing it up to the community and then actually goes ahead and does so! Aleister 21:30 16-6-'11

but you left the y. Some admins are not very good at edit summaries. piss poor, actually--K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 21:40, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

I was thinking i' d remove the sidebar entirely. Its so inconvenient. And the articles too. They take up a good 85% of the website. They are really just in the way. Infact, i am entertaining the idea of removing uncyclopedia from the internet...it really is taking up valuable space. Should i start a forum or just do it? --ShabiDOO 21:59, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

Ah jeez, you probably gave them more ideas. Nice work, Shabidoo. Now your contest will have to be pushed over to never. Happy Monkey!!! Aleister 23:06 16-6-'11

Better would be to remove the internet from Uncyclopedia. How do you feel about smoke signals? 1234 ~ 11:19, 17 June 2011

/(whispering) damn, Lyrithya found us. Be very quiet. Don't move. No, move, put some brush over the post right above you. Lyrithya seldom looks up but searches the ground for things to squish. There, it's hidden, now be quiet. Aleister shhhhhhhhh

Well, I am wondering where Aleister and Shabidoo are hidden, I don't see them around!!! I finished the UnNews we talked about yesterday Aleister, UnNews:Boston wins Stanley Cup while sore losers destroy their city (vanishes before creating more edit conflicts) Mattsnow 11:31, June 17, 2011 (UTC)

Huh? Where'd everyone go? And what's this, sports? Except sports stuff shouldn't be that good. I don't get it. 1234 ~ 11:34, 17 June 2011

 Feature except it's hard to feature timely UnNews. Lyrithya, why not just put it on the feature que for tonight and then we'll all back you up (/crosses fingers and starts to back away from his promise), go on, do it. No? Chicken! pluck pluck pluck pluck, Chicken. Or we could put it up for feature and lobby for it on that magic IRC thing you guys do. Oh, and this is a very good unnews, if we were the Onion we'd have a special edition. Aleister 17-6-'11

Feature or not, I am happy you like it that much! You didn't hide for long. This kinda stuff happened in Montreal when the Canadians WON the Stanley Cup! At least if people would do that for a reason, like protesting wars or something... Assholeism at its finest! Mattsnow 12:30, June 17, 2011 (UTC)

I syhould do an article on Zdeno Chara. That would be fun to do. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:37, 17 June 2011

In Quebec they call Chara "Charogne" which is not a compliment considering that it translate to rotten meat! He got that nickname after almost beheading Pacioretty. (see below) Also, thanks for the kind words on the Humbucker's page. That surprises me a bit, but he didn't like it. We can't force him to like it! Or maybe we could kidnap him and waterboard him! XD Mattsnow 21:58, June 17, 2011 (UTC)

Head's up! The hit comes in the first few seconds!

Interesting snuff vid. The guy went into some kind of post, that' what necked him. Hopefully no one was hurt (I don't follow hockey, so that's how I'd describe that). While, I thouht your page is main page worthy, as did Lollipop, but I don't want to make it a huge issue, and my initial reaction was kind of dickish. I'm going to take a few day off from talk pages (except for article work) and forums and concentrate on writing and editing. Haven't done that exclusively for awhile, and it should be fun. Talk to you then! 'Aleister 22:16 17-6-'11

Hockey is half-sports half-snuff lol. I don't feel you went out of line, people can disagree and you were respectful in my view. Plus, you are a really respected writer here, so I am sure the argument hit home in a way and it is highly considered. Keep your head up, especially if Chara is in the vicinity! Mattsnow 22:28, June 17, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, I'm fine. No, I really have thought about taking a few days just to write and not play on talk pages, which is a lot of fun, and this is a good time to do that. See, it's happening right now, if I keep talking on talk pages I play on those, and don't play on articles. Signing off for food anyway. Ummmmmmmmmm, food. Aleister 22:39 17-6-'11

Before you go on your vacations, how much time a day do you spend here? For me, if I count at work, I'd say 6 hours on average total, maybe 2 at home i.e. everytime I'm online! This site is addictive to me in a good way. I hardly go to any other site. I didn't log on Facebook for like a month! Mattsnow 01:55, June 18, 2011 (UTC)

No vacation, I want to write or polish some pages. My time spent here is often mixed with multi-tasking as well as playing either stuff on the internet or on television, so it's hard to separate edits from time online. Hard to estimate, but maybe four? I have specific time segments I spend here, and probably check in a couple more times. When it looks like I'm on other things are happening as well. Did you do Facebook for awhile? I never signed up, not to use anyway. And I only post on one other site, and that's not a huge amount. Oh, and wikipedia just to check in and maybe enhance a few pages. So it adds up, but doesn't seem to when information is running in while I write. But since I'm not here, this may not really be me answering, and isn't. It's a pet monkey named Rosco. Aleister 2:24 18-6-'11

Good thing you don't have Facebook, it's a waste of time. I used to be the admin of a group called Fight the NWO, we had 4000 members when it got deleted just like that. I once asked you how old you were I don't know why I feel like asking again because I wonder if I'm the oldest here (29). It can be quite confusing, since I thought Frosty sounded my age and he's 15. If you're not confortable, just say 'more' or 'less' than you. If you don't wanna say at all then flip me off! I just feel like the grandpa here. Mattsnow 02:51, June 18, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, you are the oldest here because you didn't read the rules when you signed up. "Nobody older than 20 will be allowed to edit here," read the rules, "Go away now if you were born when the Soviet Union was still called the Soviet Union, or the Berlin Wall still stood and wasn't divided up into 60,000 pieces sold on street corners. These are the rules." I don't know who made up that rule, but that's why many people supposedly "leave" uncy, they are just banned upon reaching the age of 21. Mordillo and SPIKE and Zana Dark turned 21 this year, and, poof. You are lucky because nobody has reported you yet, so keep writing until they do! Justin Bieber forever! Aleister 11:29 18-6-'11

Ali ali ali

Ali ali ali...check this out and let me know what you think...if you have time. HowTo:Make_Breakfast_Dew_(For_Women) --ShabiDOO 16:34, June 17, 2011 (UTC)

Nice, berry berry nice. The story finally goes to a place I don't dwell in, so at that point you have to go back and read some parts over again, and you seem to have caught the mind-talk if not perfectly, pretty close (at least where I'm seeing it from). Needs a bit more polishing (which I would say to anyone asking my opinion...it needs a bit more polishing...just to get them to polish it once more. Polishing once more never hurt, so that's my advice. As well as you need to do a spell check and a grammar usage thing, there are quite a few places where you made spelling errors and didn't put the little ' thing in words like its ('). And the only reason I can tell you that is because I do it all the time, I don't know how many times Lyrthrya, Romartus, Black Flamingo and others have gone over my pages for spelling and grammar and improved them hugely by doing so. I remember times when I had written 20 misspellings, and one of them would help me out. So, yeah, polish, grammar and spell check, polish again (why not?), then you will have something (you've got something now, the page is great, close to a friskin' masterpiece. But needs polishing, etc., polish again, my advice (hee hee). Aleister 21:19 17-6-'11

p.s. this gets me in the mood to polish. I'll go work on a collab Funnybony and I are doing of one of his pages. Man, you should really collab with Funnybony, he's good in a way that we don't work in, it's where he's coming from and to collab with that kind of creativity is really fun. Or Funny-bony.

Thanks a million Ali as always. I will polish it until I wear down the surface and then polish more until there is nothing left :) --ShabiDOO 23:47, June 21, 2011 (UTC)

Aleister I love you.

Best title ever huh?

You might not get in Heaven like I said but you will have some virtual tits and beer as a reward for voting for my article. Enjoy. --Mimo&maxus 09:35, June 19, 2011 (UTC)

test

test test test did it work? msRebeccaBlack 12:27, June 19, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, perfectly! Rebecca, you are my dreamsgirl. Aleister 12:33 19-6-'11

Aww I know right! Katy Perry's parents called me a good girl :) msRebeccaBlack 11:36, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

Did you read Friday (song), an academic look at your fine performance. Anyway, good to meet you again, and ride the waves of uncyclopedia with courage and while slightly drunk! Aleister minutes later

I've read! I'm relieved that finally, my song has been noticed for what it really is. Love you all ♥! msRebeccaBlack 12:56, June 21, 2011 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:VFH/Zombees

Your against vote made me LOL so much! Mattsnow 18:05, June 19, 2011 (UTC)

Peace maker

My browser did it. I upgraded my browser and it automatically reverts anything reverted more than two times in one week. I use InterLynx-bastardWWW-fox v 8.25 --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 03:26, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

Congratulations

For being the only person to make an entry for my proposed competition. And for that, I give you your rightful reward. --Scofield & The Machine 05:36, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you. I'd like to thank my parents, and my agent, and all the good people over at Beeswax Inc., I couldn't have done it without you. Ah, but does money come with that blue thing? I thought this was a moneyed eyed contest? Aleister 11:42 20-6-'11

DENIED! Sorry...competition is going ahead. Why dont you sign up Ali!!??!? --ShabiDOO 19:29, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

Denier denier!! Ah, you got the four people? I'll watch from the sidelines (after already winning the contest) and sell concessions again. POPCORN, SODA, BEER, GETCH'YA BEER HERE!! Can make a pretty good living doing that. Aleister 21:29 20-6-'11

No still only two of us...which is why you should sign up. --ShabiDOO 22:35, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

Padmé

Al, bro! I was thinking to change the name to Padmé Amidala, is that okay to do while it is on VFH? Is it a good idea? Don't want to screw up.

Hey, how about my Tim Leary 'Dear Diary' rewrite of Soma!? I think it came out good. Stay cool!--Funnybony    11:11, Jun 20

Shiiiitttt

I hold no responsibility for any dicks blown off by your sheer awesomeness for voting for this. --Lock'd And Loaded ~CUN ~ (Shoot!) 07:27, June 21, 2011 (UTC)

G-REX THANKS from Sog & Fbony

Many thanks for voting in favor of G-Rex. But we’re sorry for pulling your leg. Recent new developments near Las Vegas lead us to conclude that G-Rex was actually much larger than previous thought.

--Funnybony    14:37, Jun 21

A busy June for you Al

Do you have time to see the sunshine Al? Do you dwell amongst the mushrooms, tap tapping away or have you moved onto an iPad?? Just concerned for your general health you understand. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 17:03, June 21, 2011 (UTC)

Wha? Way lots of sunshine, gotta keep up with the D you know. Dwell amongst the mushrooms? I wish! It may seem like I'm here alot but I generally know what I'm going to edit and then flick among other things and maybe categorize random pages, all while listening doing walking away from the computer eating in between hanging out with me peeps 'n' dog and lots more. You are a kind man, Romartus, but two too many footnotes on that thing!!!! Two too many from where it was funny!!!! Aleister 22:32 21-6-'11

Favorites Bar

I can usually translate what non-power uisers say about computers into the techy term. Somewhere I read you sayibng that upgrading your browser made you lose easy access to Uncyclopedia. Its been two days and I have been ruminating over it the ebntire time, and have decided that your favorites bar went awaty in the upgrade. I may be wrong.

But see if this video explains anything --K evillips эвилипс MUN,CM,NS,3of7 22:17, June 21, 2011 (UTC)

I've never used the favorites bar. What has happened is almost every time I type a site name into google it redirects me to yellow pages or full page ads or some crippy thing and I have to hit hit hit the thing again and then it maybe will take me to my site. Even if I type in a simple word to get the spelling suddenly I'm gone to some redirect full page nonsense. Crippy. Thanks for the vid, I will gladly watch it over and ofer. Aleister 22:27 21-6-'11

Does it say 'Bing' when you do this? 1234 ~ 03:32, 22 June 2011

You voted for visual puns, which got featured!

-- 01:10, June 23, 2011 (UTC)

My UnNews piece you reviewed...

...is on VFH right now, juts so you know. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:32, June 25, 2011 (UTC)

Kryptonite

Thanks-a-million for disregarding this dumb warning. You have wisely chosen the dark-side of the farce.--Funnybony    08:33, Jun 26

Quicky

Hi, just a quick note, I don't have time to edit or post. My laptap and house computer are both virused up with malware and whatever else the demons of the internet throw at us. Bastards all. So I don't know when I'll edit again, and it's nice having some time off because it's like a withdrawal. Joneing, man, I need my edit. Hope all is good here, and I'll catch up when I get to a computer again. Geese, Aleister 22:28 28-6-'11

p.s. Must say the wikipedia layout looks real good on this computer screen. Nice work guys, maybe I bitched like a stuck pig too soon.

Pantsless Thanks

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

I appreciate it, and stuff.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:48, June 30, 2011 (UTC)

---

Categorisation

I decided, based upon your feedback, to do a little reading on categorisation according to Wikipedia. Apparently Hemmingway should be classed as an American writer, and American writers should be a sub-category of Americans and writers. If it helps make it clearer, below is the cats on Hemmingway on Wikipedia:

Categories: 1899 births | 1961 deaths | American essayists | American expatriates in Canada | American expatriates in Cuba | American expatriates in France | American expatriates in Italy | American expatriates in Spain | American hunters | American journalists | American memoirists | American military personnel of World War I | American Nobel laureates | American novelists | American people of English descent | American people of the Spanish Civil War | American Roman Catholics | American short story writers | American socialists | Anti-fascists | Bancarella Prize winners | Converts to Roman Catholicism | Ernest Hemingway | Hemingway family | History of Key West, Florida | Nobel laureates in Literature | Operation Overlord people | People from Oak Park, Illinois | Pulitzer Prize for Fiction winners | Recipients of the Silver Medal of Military Valor | Suicides by firearm in Idaho | Survivors of aviation accidents or incidents | Toronto Star people | War correspondents | Writers from Chicago, Illinois | Writers who committed suicide

So, um, yeah. Just thought you'd appreciate knowing as well. Pup 09:55 30 Jun '11

Hemming who? Aleister 15:46 8-7-'11

thanks

...for helping me get my first article featured !!! :) --ShabiDOO 14:30, July 1, 2011 (UTC)

You... won.

	Fag of the Month  June 2011

This. Apparently. Don't ask. 1234 ~ 03:54, 2 July 2011

Thank you, an award that will stand the test of time. An honour that justifies my existence. Aleister 15:44 8-7-'11

Uncyclopedia: A quiet place without Al

I thought the forums and voting pages were looking a bit quiet until I read you had a double dose of internet lurgy on your puters. Anything nasty you caught here I wonder? Hope you're able log in again soon. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 21:02, July 3, 2011 (UTC)

Dammit, Aleister. I thought you would come back. One day you went out to the woods to get some firewood...we thought you would come back. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:05, 3 July 2011

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --ShabiDOO 23:50, July 3, 2011 (UTC)

Why did he have to die? WHY??? Pay your respects here. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:54, 3 July 2011

I was telling myself it's been a long time since I heard from Al, so I came here... Say it ain't so! Take your little break and come back soon! Mattsnow 10:31, July 6, 2011 (UTC)

I'm not gone, my computers are gone. For now. Jonesing to write and edit, but it's been good to take a forced break too. What's that forum thing??? I hesitate to go look, but will do so now. Hmmmm. Aleister 15:48 8-7-'11

Aleister! *motions everyone for group hug* I...thought you were dead. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:40, 8 July 2011

GROUP HUG WITH ALEISTERS SKELETON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --ShabiDOO 00:39, July 9, 2011 (UTC)

40th Thanks

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my 40th featured article.

It also happens to be my third featured UnNews.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:54, July 9, 2011 (UTC)

---

BRO! Much Thanks for making Padmé

Your support is what made Padmé!

--Funnybony    17:50, Jul 10

Why?:You Will Never Have a Chance in Hell With Her

It's up on VFH. Your ideas were very helpful, and so I thank you for the advice. You should definitely vote for it, if you got the time.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 20:31, July 12, 2011 (UTC)

This is not spam...

No tournament is the same without you!!! CHECK IT OUT. --ShabiDOO 19:20, July 13, 2011 (UTC)

Are you back yet?

I need someone to help with Muse. Mine has left me for a beautiful trapeze artist and I have zero inspiration for it. --Black Flamingo 13:15, July 16, 2011 (UTC)

Fish Anus

I decided to play dead, but it sucked so I came back. Give me a tap on the cock shoulder to tell me when you've stopped your dead game. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:25, 18 July 2011

Surprise!

I thought that during the short while you're being active, I'd annoy you on your talkpage. So here I am! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:16, 27 July 2011

Socky! I've missed you guys here. My session has been extended an additional 10 minutes! Celebration! Naw, I'll be editing here for a couple of hours today, it seems most of it spent on reading features. Grrrrr. I miss writing, but will get to some of it today. I thought up a new page, "Yankee Stadium" but may not get to that. this the more likely thing to work on. I'd better archive this talk page too. So much to do. So much. Then I don't know when the next time I'll get on will be. How do you feel about DrStrange's Gay Jesus, time for another nom? Back to the features (I'm doing to ones which aren't over 11 right now). Sighs. Al minutues later