Talk:Garfield

This is the talk page for discussing improvements to Garfield. This is also a forum for spreading libelous rumors about the article's subject. This is not a forum for general discussion about what you did last night. We have the Village Dump for things like that.
Please sign and date your posts by typing four tildes (~~~~). Put new text under old text. Click here to start a new topic. New to Uncyclopedia? Welcome! Ask questions, get answers.	Be Civil Assume Bad Faith Don't Be A Dick No Cyberbullying	Article policies How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid Satirical point of view Verifiability vs. Complete Bollocks

The Comics

Yes. The Comics are crude. However, they are also funny. As well, they were created with love. Those dialogue balloons were painstakingly photoshopped with tiny copied images of each letter in Garfield's font.

Deleting stuff that is both funny and made with love is not what Uncyclopedia is all about. Encyclopedia Dramatica does not have a monopoly on crude humour. We can do it too, and we can do it better. These comics do it better. There are many different styles of humour in the world and "taboo" humour, which dares to mention things which society finds uncomfortable, such as sex and poo-poo, is a legitimate brand. The Garfield comic strip is bland and manufactured to be inoffensive. Therefore, the most effective way to make fun of it is to be horribly offensive and shocking.

Just because you may feel that crude humour is in "bad taste" does not mean you get to delete stuff. Keep your Victorian sensibilities to yourselves, please. It was, in fact, this article and these comics that inspired me to write for Uncyclopedia in 2006. I feel very strongly about this and will fight tooth and nail for them. YouFang 17:19, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

Perverts...

What the hell is up with those comics that say Jon is gonna rape Garfield? That's just not right... it's justweird and not really funny... • DoNotWant - [talk] •

I think it is hilarious. And please timestamp your comments and put them at the bottom of the page.--Mnb'z 01:09, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garfield#Short_storylines I think this little tidbit of information would go a long way in my theory of zombie cats --Nytrospawn 18:21, 21 August 2006 (UTC)

Featured!

Hooray! It took a while, but hooray!--Witt, of UNion Entertain me* 16:29, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

The comic bit is just pure genius. --—Braydie 16:30, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

Nice. And I helped write a ton of this page. Woohoo. --Toad 23:59, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

Garfield was my life introduction to humor. That was last week; I actually remember the one were he wants to give John a hug after doing something bad but you had to go and make it all SEXUAL!!, and stuff. I love that one towards the end, "GARFIELD! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EATING!!!?? YOUR SHIT!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahaha!!! eeeeehhhhh. --AmericanBastard 05:36, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

The recently added comic with the tape

I dunno, I think some sort of bondage joke could be put in there... as it is right now, it seems unfitting even though it's a cat-related pun. Should I edit it or leave it alone? Just asking, not that it matters much~. X3 Hanyouman 20:12, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

I don't like it. It seems like the comics are building up to 'Your shit!', then the cat-face to finish it off, and the tape messes up the flow. Of course I don't even seet the cat-related pun in tape... Prolix 20:38, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

Indeed. There should be some clean-up of the comics down there. And perhaps some funnier ones added. The comics are one of the best parts of the page, so we should keep them good. --Toad 00:02, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

I personally feel all of them should stay. The last one, especially, because it's the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. Again, if need be, I could change the text of that tape one to the aforementioned idea... but only if it's necessary. Hanyouman 03:42, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Question

Where do you get these? I wanna see more. --Untamed

Most of them were made by Uncyclopedia users.—Sir Mandaliet ♠ CUN PS VFH GN (talk) 04:13, 27 January 2007 (UTC)

Font

Where did people get the Garfield font from? I would like to make some of my own :) Mistress of the Clow ~ Cardcaptor Stacey [Talk] [Work] [Uncyclopedia Fanlisting]

To quote my talk page: I downloaded a bunch of strips and copied each letter and punctuation mark from them and saved my own little alphabet image. Then I copied these individually onto the altered strips. It was a lot of work but fun.—Sir Mandaliet ♠ CUN PS VFH GN (talk) 04:11, 27 January 2007 (UTC)

Cheers, thanks alot mate! :) Mistress of the Clow ~ Cardcaptor Stacey [Talk] [Work] [Uncyclopedia Fanlisting] 15:30, 18 February 2007

erm...some people are using comic sans, not the garfield font. fix that please, because my computer won't download fonts. Guymandude 17:04, 22 April 2007 (UTC)

The point?

What was the point of removing all the comic strips. --Nytrospawn 15:36, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

Holy Crap!

Holy crap! I drink all three. Wtf.

Notice

I just thought I'd give you all a little notice. I have reported this article to Paws, Inc. (ever heard of them?) and you all should be getting a letter from them soon forcing you to remove this stuff immediately. Now, don't try to remove it, just let them do their thing, then remove it. In fact, you all might just be closed down! Have a nice day! --172.162.91.109 05:59, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

R.I.P. Uncyclopedia 2005-2011. --Roman Dog Bird 06:01, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

Cool bro, story. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 06:02, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

He's right. After reading these comments, I spontaneously closed down.YouFang 06:57, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

I closed down quicker than a freezing vagina. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 19:19, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

Butthurt Garfield fans? Thank God for the internet. -- |c|o|d|e|i|n|e| 09:36, February 28, 2011 (UTC)

I'm not kidding around with you guys, I'm serious. I never liked this web site and I intend to have Paws, Inc. close this place down. You all should be getting a letter soon from the Paws, Inc. legal department saying to take down this stuff immediately. Tell you what, send an email to this address: glenn@pawsinc.com and ask him if anybody has reported this site to them. If you all don't take it down, well, you'll be hearing from Jim Davis's lawyers. --172.162.2.75 05:54, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

I'm quite literally shaking with terror, too bad you got permabanned, lol. The admirable Lord Frosty the Snowman 06:06, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

I never liked this website either and you don't see me reporting any illegal content (yet). --Roman Dog Bird 06:43, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

Seriously, I'm amazed there's anyone out there who still finds Garfield funny. Wow. Anyway, my litigious friend, better men than you have tried to "close this place down" before. And yet it's still here. Why, you ask? Because of a little legal clause called fair use. Google it, and lrn2law. The good people at Paws Inc. are laughing at you just as hard as we are. -- |c|o|d|e|i|n|e| 09:53, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

I'm serious. Paws, Inc. is not laughing at me either, you guys are. I emailed them and they are not happy with the content of this page. Either you guys remove it, or get a nasty letter from Jim Davis's lawyers. --172.129.88.122 18:12, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

OK troll, you've had enough of our attention now. Run along. You're an idiot; the fact that you're using AOL in 2011 is proof enough of that. You're right about one thing; we are laughing at you. A lot. Also, since you're the self-appointed white knight for The World's Least Funny Cartoon™, you could waste a bit more of your time emailing the Garfield guys about this other parody. And this parody. And this parody. And this parody. And this parody. And this parody. See a pattern here? Now fuck off. I won't be wasting any more time with you. -- |c|o|d|e|i|n|e| 19:40, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

I bet there's going to be a flamewar. oh goody! But yes, Garfield and AOL suck my orange juice flavoured balls. - LOL vandalz

Hey, Paws, I have an idea for you. How about you change your company name to "Furry Orange Balls"? Oh, and go bug someone else, troll. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 21:51, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

There's no such thing as trolls! --Roman Dog Bird 21:54, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

They shut it down! -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 22:00, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

No, wait,they didn't. But...

Kiss my ass, Paws Inc.! -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 22:01, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

nope.avi. codeine blocked the troll. 134.39.58.33 19:10, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

Good. I doubt they are actually working for Paws, the company that syndicates Garfield. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 02:47, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

I thought you all blocked me, anyway, I don't work for Paws, but I did report this web site to them. You all won't be laughing when you get a cease-and-desist letter from them. Oh, by the way, I reported your little friend to them too, you know, Encyclopedia Dramatica? And don't block me again, I'm not a "troll", and I'm as serious as a Wikipedian (which I am!) Let me tell you something, what if a little kid (oh, I don't know, about three or four years old) and read this content? Now, do you all want to ruin his life by letting him read this stuff? I'm a Christian (please don't insult that, that's a sin) and I don't appreciate this stuff being on here. If you keep insulting stuff like this, you're going to have to answer to the good Lord in heaven above. You are rude, dishonest, selfish, people (and I'm not insulting you). You all want to keep this up, that's fine, but just make it a little nicer, and no more foul language. Like f*** or s*** or a**, there's nothing funny about those words, they're just plain mean. If you all want a letter from the Paws, Inc. legal department, fine. But don't say I didn't warn you. When you all get a letter from them, you'll be sorry you made fun of me, which I don't appreciate. And, please, cut off the fould language. --172.162.10.73 04:49, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

Please don't feed the troll. (talk)

Christian? Have you read Christwire? Praise teh Lordzorz!!!!1!one!1one! Gen. Fudgem0bile Help old lady across the street. Into your oven. 11:24, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

We aren't friends with ED. We have absolutely nothing to do with them. --Roman Dog Bird 04:52, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

I think we all need to calm down here. We all take our vitamins the same way, one pill up the anus at a time. Anyway, I'm masturbating to your threats you autistic fake-ass Christian (Now you can call up the aspies to protest here; YOU'RE WELCOME!). MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 04:53, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

I'd be pretty impressed with the three- or four-year-old, not only for being able to read at that age (which, while impressive, isn't unheard of) but also for learning how to read at that age despite having clearly negligent parents. --monika 04:56, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

Exactly! I was gonna say something like that. Why is it with you Christians (or whoever) that it's never the parents who should be held responsible if their kid comes across something "offensive" like this? I mean really. --Roman Dog Bird 04:59, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

Besides, I was reading Garfield when I was four, and I turned out okay. --monika 05:00, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

I've always had an affinity for Marmaduke. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 05:04, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

I can see it now, your response from Paws:

Dear, Friend,

Thank you for your suggestion

However, as you are an internet troll, please fuck off and don't bother sending my company any more crap.

Go bother Mort Walker, he's like 90.

Sincerely, Jim Davis

-- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 05:05, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

He would not say something like that. I am warning you and please don't use those words. I told you not to make fun of me being a Christian either. Here's what he would really say:

Dear friend,

Thank you for telling me about this web site.

I told my lawyers from the legal department about it and they did close it down.

If any more web sites like this turn up, just let me know.

Thank you for reading my strip! Hope you continue to enjoy it!

Sincerly, Jim Davis

That's what he would really say. Oh, by the way, I will not tolerate you making fun of my Christianity. Listen to this, "Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses, as we forgive those who tresspass agains us. And lead us not into temptation, for Thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever. Amen. Change that and you will severely regret that one day, when you have to stand before God at the pearly gates. --172.162.10.73 05:30, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, by the way, go here: [1] and see some of the real strips. They are a whole lot funnier then the ones you have on here. You know why? There is no foul language, and they are official. Try it. Read a few of them. You'll get a bigger laugh out of them then you will your strips, because they don't use any foul language or offensive content. Oh yeah, email this address: glenn@pawsinc.com and ask him if anybody told them about this web site, (do it for real now!) and post on here his exact words. May take a few days, but try it. --172.162.10.73 05:44, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

Does Jim Davis even own a computer? --Roman Dog Bird 05:56, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

Actually, yes he does, I saw him drawing strips on it in one of the "Garfield Gets Real" DVD features. And AFAIK, just like most comic strip writers, he doesn't give two flaming shits about parodies of his stuff, as long as they're noncommercial and don't cross the What Has Science Done line. BLU Scoutgineer 06:04, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

Hell, he gave Garfield Minus Garfield the go-ahead to release a commercial book with not only his blessing but also his name attached as first author so he'd get the money. --monika 06:20, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

If you all won't listen to me, then you'll probably listen to Paws, Inc.. I've arranged for Paws, Inc. to close this web site down. --172.162.10.73 06:29, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, we know, you've only said so about 50 times already. --Roman Dog Bird 06:43, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

I, for one, can't wait till Jim Davis closes down Wikia. Jimbo Wales needs somebody to reign in his destructive Huntsville behavior, and Jim Davis is just the guy to do it. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 08:21, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

Garfield is sooooooo fat! —rc (t) 16:58, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

srsly u gaiz, leavz Gayrfeild al0n3!!!11!!111! --Matfen 21:46, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

Hey! You shouldn't speak like that around Christians. You might, like, go to hell or something. --Roman Dog Bird 22:18, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

Wait, does that mean Jesus is a wizard? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:23, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

I don't care. I'm half Christian half Jewish. I'll stick with the Jews so I can get away with it. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 23:44, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

Nah, that doesn't work that way. If your mother is Jewish, than we like you bubaleh. If you're not, than fuck you and the Jesus that brought you here. ~ 23:53, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

My mother is Jewish. So I guess i'm a Jewish lollipop. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 00:15, March 4, 2011 (UTC)

Let's end this before this gets out of hand! - LOL vandalz

"Our Lasagna, which art in the oven, hallowed be thy scent. Thy deliciousness come, thy will be well done, on Earth it tastes like heaven. Give us this day, our garlic bread, and give us our napoli, as we consume that which smells good to us. And lead us not into temptation for low fat substitutes. For thine is the tomato, the beef, and the pasta, forever. Amen." Pup 10:28 20 Mar '11

THE REAL GARFIELD COMIC IS SOOOOOOOO FUNNY I LAUGHED MY BALLS OFF

when i was five.....and even more of a retard than i am now --Roman Dog Bird 19:02, March 11, 2011 (UTC)

DIET IS "DIE" WITH A "T" AT THE END LOLOLOLOLOL COMEDY GOLD --Roman Dog Bird 19:06, March 11, 2011 (UTC)

I'm a Christian and I'm pretty sure God doesn't allow retards that embarrass his religion in his heaven. Also, ass, fuck, shit. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:22, 14 March 2011

cock, balls, poop --Roman Dog Bird 01:24, March 16, 2011 (UTC)

God, I swear I am the only one that is more of a retard now than when I was five. Remember that kid that was in the news about 16 years ago for starting the internet? That was me! (talk) 02:07, March 16, 2011 (UTC)

Read these

They're MUCH funnier BECOZ DEY'RE REALLLL!!!!!!

See, I didn't even have to vandalize the article, or threaten Uncyclopedia with a lawsuit to make that point! --Scofield 17:06, March 19, 2011 (UTC)

I emailed Jim Davis

When this was going on.

He answered back 20 minutes ago and said this:

"As long as there is no innapropriate comments on personal rights and it is all under parody, then I don't see anything wrong with it."

The IP was wrong. We win again. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 05:08, 20 April 2011

Everyone but you (apparently) knew this. (talk) 05:10, 20 April 2011

I knew it too. It's just proved now. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 05:11, 20 April 2011

Then why... (talk) 05:15, 20 April 2011

I got the email 40 minutes ago, and I felt it would be right to share it. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 05:23, 20 April 2011

Ooh. What's his email? I wanna email jim davis shite.--Something smells... FISHY. hmm... 05:53, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

I don't know. I sent it here and the reply email was garfield.com. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 06:11, 20 April 2011