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"I will do as you command" is what Ronan says to Thanos, after being told to retrieve the Infinity Stone from The Guardians of The Galaxy. He gets the stone and runs off with it. Now the word "Ronan" means to say you will do as asked, do half of it, but, according to the person who gave the order, disobay the other half. As far as I'm concerned, he got the stone, so he obeyed the order.

Birth[edit | edit source]

He was born by some random Kree. Just like you were born from a random gay human.

Childhood[edit | edit source]

When he was 5, Thanos destroyed his planet with infinity rock music. Ronan promptly went to join Thanos in his quest to save the universe.

His training was brutal. He had to turn a childhood friend of his to a cyborg. After stripping them nakid, getting an axe, and tearing body parts off at random. "Sorry, this isn't personal. Master's orders."

The infinity stone[edit | edit source]

As you should know by now, Thanos wants destroy half the universes' gays. So Ronan, under "master's orders", goes to retrieve the stone from an unsuspecting hobo. The damnned hobo seems to be good at escaping with things.

In particular a racoon and a tree. "Fuck my luck!"

At some point later, he gets the stone after being helped by, and killing, Drax.

Death[edit | edit source]

He killed himself with the infinity stone. As well as bringing mass destruction and extinction to an alien species.