Forum:Uncyclopedia's decline?

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“Rumours of my decline have been greatly exaggerated...”

~ Oscar Wilde on not being able to get it up any more.

According to this, September was the month we got less new editors since August 2005. The number of newies has been constantly falling since January. We are also getting less people making over 5 edits the same month. Some would say we are driving away the suckers, the site is getting more exclusive for good descent writers only. Some would say nobody cares. Others would think we should panic and run in circles all naked and rising torches.---Asteroid B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 13:37, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

I'm all for the running naked in circles. However, I did get the feeling the Uncync became more of an exclusive club lately rather than the usually nice chaotic mess we used to have. Good evolution? Bad evolution? Only the future shall say. And Modus. He has a small crystal ball. Also, I saw him running naked in circles once. But as he states, he's quite mad. ~ 13:42, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

Here's the one that scares me (add that site in, and compare). *Shudder*. Are the poorly buttressed walls of your reality caving in? Did I just say "butt"? Have we grown too content with staring at our own bellybuttons, or are we failing to promote Uncyclopedia enough to friends, family, strangers, strangests, and that guy on that bench over there? That being said, I must admit that I have no idea what "rising torches" is, but I doubt it's safe to do while naked, circular running or not. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 15:30, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

That is indeed scary, but shouldn't you be posting a certain picture right now seeing as you just brought up a certain other site in conversation? -- (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 16:36, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

No. My hypocrisy baffles the mind, doesn't it? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:23, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

Strange, according to Alexa, our popularity is rising... --General Insineratehymn 16:59, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

But not as much as ED. :* ( -- Kippy the Elf Talk Works ☃ 18:27, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

Nobody cares. If everyone stopped caring about ED, then you'll be happier. I stopped caring about ED, and look at how happy I am. Just stop talking about ED and it will go away. --General Insineratehymn 18:52, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

As a new (member?) I can give you my initial thoughts as to what i notice/see here. I have the (luck?) to not have been here for 2 yrs and seen the progression/digression (whatever the current views are). I see some good shit here. I also see some stuff that is not so good but being hailed as such. (perhaps they were part of the 'beginnings' or regulars, or whatnot. Hell i dont have time to check history on everything.) Anyway, I dont see any inner-circles (not blatently), I think you all try to be as objective as you can. I am still in the process of 'testing the waters' and submitting little things just to see the general 'slant'. Those that make it thru the initial review i won't delete. I see that i need to try many different styles, and hope that some of my more 'obscure' stuff (which i feel is pretty good) gets the correct attention. Perhaps asking for multiple 'reviews' MIGHT be a better idea. I know you shudder at this, but if someone who doesn't 'get' it happens to review a piece, the initial reaction will be to just cut the thing. Do we request a certain viewpoint instead (example 'someone who used to own a DreamCast unit'..was a recent one i pee'd) ANYWAY, what i mean by all this is that I think this site is worthwhile, NOT a 'circle-jerk' or 'elitist'. I see many factions, but they all seem to be having fun, and that's the point of it all in the 1st place. Will i stay or will i eventually move on? Hell if i know. I suppose if a few of my tries are received well enuff, or at least Salvagable by someone with a bit more experience, i'm good with that. Maybe my stuff is too 'high-brow' or 'low-brow'..if that's the case, i will bow out, no hard feelings. Anyway, this is a just an initial view, from my perspective. Hope it helps a bit.--Finnius 19:19, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

Are you sure you're a noob? Your comment wasn't riddled with LOLs and WTFs. Indeed, it reads like English. Pee Review tends to be hit or miss (asking for someone who knows about the subject to review may help). Lastly, good luck, take your time, don't take it personally, take it too personally, and whatnot. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:23, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

I think what scared me the most is this. Damn frightening. - Sir FS Doovad Read You got somethin to say? 20:39, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

a few people over at youtube have been announcing DE to be the coolest thing ever since whatever. Include that child support dogging racist slim ball Skehan. Maybe if we get our own youtube troll ? -_Vosnul 21:01, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

For a moment there, I'd thought we'd all end up forced to start speaking brasileiro. Now that would be a real nightmare... --– Preceding unsigned comment added by 66.102.80.223 (talk • contribs)

An excellent point -- Sir FS Doovad Read You got somethin to say? 22:27, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

You DO know what "they" say about Stats don't you. You can prove anything with facts people. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

You do realize that we're quibbling about 0.02%, right? CONGRATULATIONS! 99.98% OF PEOPLE DON'T VISIT US! --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 19:38, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

Maybe my year long absences have driven away my large fanbase. -- Kaizer the Bjorn takkun (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 00:33, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

I have an idea to raise popularity

Let's shamelessly whore Uncyclopedia. Everyone must go to their favorite forums or blogs and post links to Uncyclopedia. After that, just wait for the waves of newcomers to flood in. --General Insineratehymn 22:55, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

Done. -- Sir FS Doovad Read You got somethin to say? 23:54, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

Before we do that, I think we need to create about 10 more admins. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 22:57, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

The ad can say..."Uncyclopedia--a HELL of a lot funnier than Wiki"--Finnius 22:58, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

Hey, don't look at me, I got 3 friends into editing uncyc. I think it's time for you guys to pick up the slack. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:00, Oct 22

No no! I has better idea! Why not just change the thing at the top to say "Uncyclopedia, we hate ourselves, and love to have idiots running around in superhero costumes." Yah. That's a stupid fucking idea Insineratehymn. -- The Zombiebaron 23:01, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

No. It's the greatest idea ever. --General Insineratehymn 23:07, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

No, the greatest idea ever had something to do with nudity and olive oil. ~ 23:08, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

Yes, we will hire cheap hookers and have them carve "uncyclopedia.org" somewhere on their bodies, preferably their ass. --General Insineratehymn 23:12, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

Now that's advertising. Hey, maybe we can get a place on the Wikia spotlight. Though it'd probably throw Wikia readers off in shock, not regretting clicking on a link. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 23:13 Oct 22, 2007

Let's attract the MySpace crowd. We make the main page say "Uncyclopedia, where you can share your deepest feelings and everybody will care" They will come like goths to a shady corner! We all know they're hilarious! Have you seen some of their blogs? Laugh-a-minute! Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 23:35, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

For hacking Wikipedia and making the Main Page a soft redirect to Uncyc. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 23:10 Oct 22, 2007

2nded redirecting random pages to their Uncyc counterparts.--General And Min. THEDUDEMAN 23:19, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

For either hacking Wikipedia or kidnapping Wikipedia admins. --  Le Cejak • <-> 23:24, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

For hiring an elite team of master hackers in the vein of the matrix who will hack the entire internet so that the only page available is uncyclopedia. If hackers are unsuccessful, perhaps we enlist magicians? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:31, Oct 22

For assimilating all Wikipedia servers. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 23:35, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

If by assimilating them you mean, destroying them, then I'm all For -- Sir FS Doovad Read You got somethin to say? 23:46, 22 October 2007 (UTC)

Yes. We must advertise. Let's start with fast food drinking cups. --EMC ^[TALK] 00:16, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

Um, I don't go to any other forums or blogs. Uncyclopedia is the entire extent of my internet activity. --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 19:26, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

Step One

First, we shall make the Uncyclopedia page on Wikipedia a Featured Article. Then, it shall be featured on the main page. Millions of people will flow into our coffers, and our article count will skyrocket. Muhuhaha!... But seriously, we need to clean that page up. We didn't even make the eye beams picture. Also, look at this and then this. Yeah. --Sir OCdt Jedravent CUN UmP VFH PLS ACS WH 00:14, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

/me wonders exactly how Jedravent found those links... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:13, Oct 23

Google. --Sir OCdt Jedravent CUN UmP VFH PLS ACS WH 19:04, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

That will never happen Wikipedia is controled a facist regime trying to supress the truth,we are a danger to their facist regime.--Scott 00:17, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

Having not read any of the thread beyond the first post, Ape enters the room to give his views. A hush falls across the room as he approaches the podium. Some wise cracking fucker shouts: "But it's not Thursday!". Shut up fucker. This is no place for comedians. This is a place for nerds attempting to be funny. Gazing at the ridiculously long heading he begins to speak, pausing momentarily to stare at Modusoperandi's ass...

I think this decline is a good thing. We don't need a bunch of idiots coming here, posting noobish articles. What we need is people like me or, to a lesser extent, Mhaille to write good feature quality articles so that in a years time the quality will be so good that today's featire will look suitable for QVFD. -- spontaneous Ape (spit) (Riot Porn) 19:30, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

Sometimes the idiots' articles are amusing. I'm reffering to those rediculous pages that survive qvfd and vfd, fail vfh, and have cult followings. -- Kippy the Elf Talk Works ☃ 19:42, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

Anything with a cult following is by definition bad. Because if it was genuinely good, it would attract "casual" followers of mainstream people who liked it. I mean, for heaven's sake, L. Ron Hubbard is an unbelievably mediocre writer, and he also has a cult following. And cults are all fun and games until BAM!, you're surrounded by a mob chanting, "sacrifice, sacrifice". --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 20:00, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

Not necessarily. The show Arrested Development has a cult following, but got bad ratings due to lack of advertising and the Housewives brainwashing people. -- Kippy the Elf Talk Works ☃ 20:08, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

Yeah, and look at the movie Zoolander. It has a cult following, to which I belong, and it is hilarious. "I thought you were just here to tell me what a bad ugooglizer I was." "What?" "You know, a ugooglizer, one who speaks at funerals? Or did you think I didn't know what a ugoogly was?" - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:14, Oct 23

Like Euroipods? -- spontaneous Ape (spit) (Riot Porn) 19:43, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

I had i maed a yuky doody more in mind. Euroipods, as does Kitten Huffing and Fisher Price, falls under the category of IP edits, although they go through the same process. -- Kippy the Elf Talk Works ☃ 19:54, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

There's another downside to popularity no one's mentioned yet: all the good usernames get taken. Seriously, have you tried registering on Yahoo! or Wikipedia? There are no good options left. Not only is the name you actually wanted taken, but all the cool variants with a number tacked on the end are taken, too. (Perverts snap up the "69" ending and Jews use "18". But I digress.) --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 19:48, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

But all the long and obscure quotes from the Simpsons are left. On yahoo! i'm "thievesstolemypolicecar" But don't ever try to contact me. -- spontaneous Ape (spit) (Riot Porn) 19:59, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

You don't really only exist on Thursdays, do you? --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 20:03, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

RA, you realize you're speaking to thin air, right? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 20:18 Oct 23, 2007

Hence why I needed to name myself after some obscure five-minute skit performed in drama class one day. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 20:00 Oct 23, 2007

I'm wondering when Ape is going to exist over here so that we can tease him? Just wondering... --  Le Cejak • <-> 20:46, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

Strange but untrue is usually not taken. Or at least I think I was the first one to come up with it as a regular username. The downside being you can probably trace my online activities, and learn all about all the boring sites I might once have visited for five minutes. I'm scared. -- (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 22:59, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

You mean like http://strangebutuntrue.tripod.com/science/main.htm, for example? MUAHAHAHA. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:08, Oct 23

Good Lord. That's the ugliest home page I've ever seen. --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 23:49, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

I...um, meant that in the best possible way. --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 23:50, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

Indeedy. But didn't we all have no taste back in 2000? No, wait, that was the 60s. I have to confess I'm still quite proud of the content. -- (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 07:20, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

Wow, it's like a time machine to 1993. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:37, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

Yeah, and now I'm out of plutonium. Now how will I generate the 1.21 gigawatts I need to power my flux capacitor? Not to mention the gas I'll need to get the Delorian up to precisely 88 miles per hour. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:42, Oct 24

Yes, very web-1.0ish. I kept looking for the edit button. --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 00:44, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

How about a "National Refugee Week"

Ok how about we have a week long event were we focus on recuriting more users for uncyclopedia. I have some idea's:

1. We do the "Tell all your frineds about Uncyclopedia thing" and the number of friends that users invite well be counted with the user with most friends being given an award
   
2. Do what Insineratehymn said
3. don't bite the n00bs
   
4. Spread propaganda on wikipedia

   --Scott 00:49, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

5. ???
6. Profit!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 18:48, Oct 24

Impossible! We can't go against policy! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 23:52 Oct 24, 2007

It will only be for one week which also be internatinonal hypocricy awarness week.--Scott 05:07, 25 October 2007 (UTC)

Yes, and aftar that it iz to be National Splelling Weak. And yes, it is weak. ----OEJ 16:47, 25 October 2007 (UTC)

An Even Better Idea

Why don't a few of the admins run for president? They could easily spread the word in previous methods, get a bunch of write ins. I propose making an official UNSOC social party, or even run under the slogan "There is no cabal." And the second we enter office, our first order of business would be to officially declare war with Wikipedia. -- Sir FS Doovad Read You got somethin to say? 01:12, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

Right. Because people will just flock to vote for politicians with screen names like "An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays". --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 01:19, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

I got the pro-war vote! Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 01:24, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

More like the baby-boomer vote, judging from your name. --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 01:26, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

We can be like the bum on the street that runs for president every election. Ah, I can see it now: standing on highway overpasses, holding "Vote for me" signs, so people can laugh at us and say, "There's that weird person who runs for president every year. Let's throw vegetables at him!" --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 01:26, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

Any publicity is good publicity. Is that the phrase? -- Sir FS Doovad Read You got somethin to say? 02:56, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

"People throwing vegetables at you in Chinese is 'opportunity'." That's something my gramma used to say to me. --  Le Cejak • <-> 02:59, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

I was planning on going on American Idol and giving Uncyclopedia a shout out. -- Kippy the Elf Talk Works ☃ 03:03, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

Unlike you cheapskates I ACTUALLY bought the tshirt. And wear it out in public. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

We have a T-Shirt? Why has no one ever told me this! I will get one...maybe. -- Sir FS Doovad Read You got somethin to say? 21:32, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

Indeed we do.....mine has MoneySign's excellent "Dog Warning Labels" on the front and Sophia and the URL on the back. Very tasteful it is too... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I will troll youtube to bring in more visitors and to join my league of vandals with will then destroy you. IRAQATTACK! ATTACKMAN! 22:25, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

Oh no. Please (yawn) don't. RabbiTechno 22:27, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

What's on TV? --AAA! (AAAA) 01:00, 25 October 2007 (UTC)

Sex, violence, corruption, natural disasters, bad comedians... the usual. --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 17:10, 25 October 2007 (UTC)

Bad comedians!?! Why did nobody tell me this? That's where I get all my material! Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 22:16, 25 October 2007 (UTC)

I can tell. --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 22:33, 25 October 2007 (UTC)

...you bitch. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 01:23, 26 October 2007 (UTC)

Catfight! Hans Johnson as in "keep ya hans off my" ^{(cover your eyes!)} 17:15, 26 October 2007 (UTC)

what i think about it

it makes sense that there'd be less new contributors because of the offensive content being featured on the front page all the time. see my Open Letter to Uncyclopedia for what I think about it --Nerd42eMailTalkUnMetaWPediah2g2 17:23, 26 October 2007 (UTC)

Have you considered that maybe you're just a wee bit touchy? --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 17:28, 26 October 2007 (UTC)

The Final Solution

This is a plan so brilliant it's retarded: we replace popular wikipedia pages with links to Uncyclopedia. -- spontaneous Ape (spit) (Riot Porn) 19:15, 26 October 2007 (UTC)

Vandalism is not the answer. Subtly placed links in the "External Links" section is. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:58, Oct 26

Whoring #3

Since the last two people did... yeah. --Sir OCdt Jedravent CUN UmP VFH PLS ACS WH 19:34, 26 October 2007 (UTC)

/me drops ice cream, mid-lick. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:55, 26 October 2007 (UTC)

Damnit, you broke Modus! Now who's gonna fix him? Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 22:42, 26 October 2007 (UTC)

How hard can it really be? -- Sir FS Doovad Read You got somethin to say? 23:26, 26 October 2007 (UTC)

Imagine building a fully functional hydrolyzing fuel cell from soda cans and watch parts, in dim light, using only your teeth. It's not as hard as that, but just imagine it. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 01:59, 27 October 2007 (UTC)

Only celebrities whore themselves like that. (I'm a reformed whore, so I can criticize.) --_CUN RA ^{Talk to me} _ 02:06, 27 October 2007 (UTC)