Forum:The US Presidential Election

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Who are you supporting. I support Obama and would never support Hillary. But, enough about me, what about you? Also, to all of the UKers, read up on it. I live in the suburbs and get the racists and ignorant jackasses. Don't remind me of my town, please.--MNM5150^{Talk Dirty To Me} _Failings 01:22, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Gravel all the way. He's got no chance, but he's the only one with his head on completely straight. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 01:24, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

I'm voting for Lincoln. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 02:03, 17 Mar 2008

User:TheLedBalloon#Political Views. As you can see, I made my decision months ago. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 02:47, Mar 17

... So you're calling yourself a pretentious douche? Apathy is a political view too. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 02:18, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

Yes, I'm extremely pretentious, and often a douche. But then, why are you trying to make this about me? Is it because everything is about me? That's what I really think, you know. I'm pretentious like that. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 02:23, Mar 24

Good answer. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 02:24, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

Hitler. He's due for a comeback. Plus, I love a good rally. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 06:01, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

So are you suggesting that we UKers are racists and ignorant jackasses by that comment? Sheesh, I swear I've never been to a single BNP meeting, honest. Well, I popped in once, but that was just to use the bathroom. Actually, I find the US election saga quite amusing, particularly the way that each party tries to damage its own candidates chances as much as possible with in-fighting and slurs right at the outset before letting the opposition have a go. Very sporting. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 09:21, Mar 17

Yes, but aren't you glad to know that Obama has a foreign sounding name, Clinton is bitchy, and McCain is old? Also, Obama is inexperienced, Clinton is a Clinton, and McCain panders to every crazy whacko with a vote. Lastly, Obama is too brown, Clinton is a broad, and McCain even older than he was when I earlier referred to him as old. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 09:30, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

From what I've seen, Obama's been to a toga party in Africa, which for some reason was embarrassing, Clinton's letting her husband do too much (which has always been their problem), and McCain's not Republican enough. Or did I get it wrong again? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 09:49, Mar 17

Obama went to Africa. Africa! Do you know what's in Africa? Africans! Some of them are even...Muslim! And he fit right in! Sure, he says he's a Christian, but with a middle name like Hussein (not to mention his weird first and last names), how can you know for sure? Are you scared of him yet? Hilary, meanwhile, is married to him, and he once banged a chubby broad in his office! McCain, outrageously, is probably against torture, mostly, sort of. He is, however, for black socks with sandals and Matlock, as long as the episodes of Matlock aren't on too late. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 11:32, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

"I put on my wizard robe and hat." wasn't that an Obama quote or did you guys make it up? Isn't that what the Somali-garbed clothing looks like? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:52, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

I'm going to vote for... Oh, I don't get a vote. :-( MrN 13:00, Mar 17

Don't worry if you actually did get a vote, Diebold would make sure to change it for you. I think I voted for John Kerry but Diebold figured out I meant to vote for George W. Bush instead and changed my vote for me. This happened to 45% of the other voters as well. They beta tested it with punch cards in Florida in 2000. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:52, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

UU, I misworded that. I should have said the "suburbs" bit earlier. that was general reference.--MNM5150^{Talk Dirty To Me} _Failings 17:47, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Obama is like JFK, who also didn't have a lot of experience but made a good President anyway. Obama has a lot of good ideas and has a better decision making ability than Clinton has. I think I'll be supporting Obama. I go by the content of character, political history, and decision making abilities. Hillary Clinton has made bad decisions like being for the patriot act, the Iraq war, and about 75% of the time voting for bills that Bush supported, yet she claims to be the change candidate? Plus she used to work for Wal-Mart and took a lot of campaign money from large corporations, China, Dubai, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, oil companies, etc. McCain keeps flip-flopping, plus now he became a puppet for the Republican party and might be another Bush if elected. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 17:21, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Obama, however, doesn't have a father that will blow money out of his ass to ensure his son wins. ~

Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.

17/03/2008 @ 20:25

That is the disadvantage of being born poor in a single parent home, you don't have a rich father to blow money out of his ass to ensure that you win. Bill Clinton's mother remarried after Bill's father died in a car wreck three days before Bill was born (under a million dollar policy) and married into the Clinton family that owned a few car dealerships and then changed their name. Of course Bill Clinton gets $10 million a year just for giving speeches, so he can help fund his wife's campaign for President. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 22:45, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Obama FTW. Clinton and McCain suck. --THE 20:50, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Well, since you put it that way, definitely Obama! Why couldn't someone have just told me that from the beginning? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:31, Mar 17

Monica Lewinski sucks as well ask Bill Clinton about that some time he'll tell you, but at least she is not running for President. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 22:47, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Reagan. He's due for a comeback. Plus, I love a good rally. -- The Zombiebaron 21:33, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

President isn't enough for this man. I vote to appoint him as "Eternal Leader" of the United States. ~

Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.

17/03/2008 @ 21:36

The United States isn't enough for this man. I vote to appoint him Sweden. Forever. -- The Zombiebaron 21:56, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Uh? But isn't Ronald Reagan already Emperor of the United States? Or at least was when he was alive? Eternal Leader must be higher that Emperor? I guess you have to be a vampire or zombie to live that long to become an Eternal Leader? At least put him in charge of the United Nations, you can't get much higher than that. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 22:45, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

Oh, you guys, stop being silly. Everyone knows Ronald Reagan is just an urban legend that parents tell their kids when they consider voting democrat. He's a myth, like the boogeyman, or New Jersey. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:58, Mar 17

No way! I totally had a roommate whose cousin met a guy in a bar who once drove through New Jersey. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 23:07, 17 March 2008 (UTC)

I'm tellin' ya, I looked on snopes, it's not real! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:44, Mar 17

Well, duh. Goatse is a myth. --MNM5150^{Talk Dirty To Me} _Failings 00:56, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

Who you should-- nay, MUST vote for in '08!

Me and Spang! STM/SPANG '08: We rule the skool! Our platform:

• Cake for everyone
• Me 'n' Spang get to poop anywhere we want
• ANYWHERE.
• Lots of other stuff

Ain't that great? With BENSON's almighty help, we shall become Presidents of Uncyclopedia! Thanks for your time. I approve this message. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 02:40, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

I also approve this mesage. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 02:44, 18 Mar 2008

I disapprove of this message. On so many, many levels. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:13, Mar 18

While politics does need change, it does not need this. This is how North Korea got started. Do you want to live in North Korea? Well, do you? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:49, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

Yeah I can recall that Kim Jong-Ill promised cake too! Or maybe that was his father? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:54, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

That was the grandfather, Kim Jong-I Verp 04:29, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

The Female Vote

At first I was for Obama, but the more I listen to him the more he seems like a sock puppet for God knows who. And even though I don't like Hillary (and take potshots on her Uncyclopedia page for the fun of it), when I picture Hillary sparring with two-faced McCain versus Obama, I believe Hillary has a better chance. She appears intelligent, whereas Obama appears coached.--Amerecina 05:01, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

<spills brandy> I say! <monocle pops out> The weaker sex has the vote now? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 06:01, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

Me 'n' Spang promise to strip women of their right to vote! VOTE FOR US! -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 06:25, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

That's not all we'll strip them of! Ha ha ha! Vote! • Spang • ☃ • talk • 11:05, 18 Mar 2008

Chauvinists! --Amerecina 21:48, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

Madam, don't get hysterical. <straightens tophat> I believe that two or more of your humours may be out of balance. <waxes moustache> You should pay a visit to my doctorologist. He will examine you thoroughly, then prescribe the opium. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:01, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

She's prolly on the rag. Yet another reason women shouldn't vote. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 22:09, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

The what? <other monocle pops out> I say, good sir, subjects of that nature are inappropriate in mixed company. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:12, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

Pardon me, good sah...you seem to be an upstanding gentleman. Many upstanding gentlemen enjoy wagers, indeed? Indeed. I have a wager. Indeed, the wager to end all wagers! My client believes that he can travel fully and completely around the globe in under 80 days! What say you, sah? Will you engage me in wager? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:24, Mar 18

Good show! I'll pitch in the sum of one hundred British pounds, one bottle of laudenum, and three Chinese boys, able of body and skilled in railroad construction. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 23:41, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

End women's suffrage! ~

Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.

19/03/2008 @ 00:49

Not yet, I don't think they suffered enough yet. Though they do get over half the stuff in case of a divorce according to Eddie Murphy. "Half Eddie, I want half!" --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 01:32, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

I didn't know women could suffer or feel emotion. -- The fatgoat Talk (to me, obviously) The Crap I've Done 02:54, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

I didn't know so many misogynistic englishmen used Uncyclopedia. --Amerecina 04:05, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

I didn't know I was English. Or a man. What kind of word is "misogynistic"? What are you, a dictionary? I'd prefer "misanthropic". -- The fatgoat Talk (to me, obviously) The Crap I've Done 04:13, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

What part of "so many" don't you understand. Have you been following the thread? And I'm not surprised you prefer the word "misanthropic". --Amerecina 04:24, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

Of course I prefer misanthropic—I'm a goat. Who are you, anyway? Not one of those "wimmenz", I suppose? -- The fatgoat Talk (to me, obviously) The Crap I've Done 04:31, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

Wimmenz? As in redneck for women? Not exactly. And who are you, a Rosie O'Donnell wannabe? Because you talk just like her.--Amerecina 04:49, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

"Wimmenz" as in "Where're the white wimmenz at?" No, I don't believe I speak like Rosie O'Donnell because I speak properly. -- The fatgoat Talk (to me, obviously) The Crap I've Done 05:17, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

Uh huh. --Amerecina 05:29, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

I never said I was sane. -- The fatgoat Talk (to me, obviously) The Crap I've Done 05:34, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

Heeeeyyyyyy.... I'm starting to get that feeling that some of yous fellas aren't be completely serious! Don't try to fool me, yous rascals, yous. MODUS: you don't even have a monocle, DO YOU!?!?!? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 10:55, Mar 19

Surely you jest! I'll have you know that this monocle has been in my family for not less than eleven generations, ever since the Earl of Upper Lowereastwestchester, by accident, did break a single pair of glasses in twain. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 14:06, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

I've never been serious in my entire life. The whole universe is one big joke to me. Anyway God loves women more than men, which is why men get hit by lightning bolts four times more often than women do. I've been hit like seven times myself, five of those times came from writing Uncyclopedia articles that made fun of God or religion. The other two must have been warnings or something. Either that or God is a woman and was on the rag when I got hit two times for no good reason other than I'm a man, and everything is my fault because all men are idiots and I am their king. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 01:53, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

Ahem. Anyway...

Let's get back to more... me-related matters, shall we? As President of Uncyclopedia, me 'n' Spang promise to kiss all hands and shake all babies in an effort to get your votes. Failing that, we'll have a nice dinner with you. If you're still not convinced, we're willing to sell our bodies for your support. And if elected, we'll buy some cabbage for you. Just text your vote to UNCYC (86292) and get ready for a cabbage fiesta! -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 06:05, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

who the hell are u?

wait

ITS THE FAMOUS SAVETHEMOSES!!!

wait

who the hell are u? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Spoonster23 (talk • contribs)

No, who are you? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 18:01, Mar 19

The time has come

I know many have been begging me to throw my hat into this ring, and I swore the only way it would ever happen is if I got a pony, but I am now announcing myself as a candidate for US Presidency. I will run against stm/FUSpang with my running mate. I've chosen my running mate without any consultation of the kind Bush recieved in 2000, or, indeed, his knowledge I'm selecting him. Yes, I too have selected a running mate from a foreign country, the one and only Modusoperandi. The Bradaphraser/Modusoperandi ticket will guarantee things that stm/FUSpang could never dream of offering. Things such as a kitten in every litter, a house in every town, and most importantly, two delegates who are actually on the same continent at the same time. So vote for PROGRESS! Vote Bradaphraser/Modusoperandi '08. "That's really hard to say!"tm--<<>> 18:43, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

We have two things that other teams don't: Bradaphraser and Modusoperandi. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 19:13, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

The other ticket is promising cake. Do you two offer cake as well, or do you support the superior pie? --OptyC Sucks! CUN 20:26, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

Better. Bradarandi will open the Department of Cake and Pie, so that Uncyclopedians all across the world may choose for themselves. Modusphraser are firmly for both cake and pie. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:12, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

That could be described as waffling! Do you prefer waffles, or pancakes? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:15, Mar 20

We support waffles! Though I don't personally like them. I've voted for waffles before, but only because others were. Personally, I'd rather vote against waffles, when it's all said and done. There is certainly a waffling position on our campaign site.--<<>> 03:02, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

Some of my best friends are waffles. We, for two, hope to unite all, both pancake and waffle, in a harmony of breakfastness. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:10, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

Now you've done it

YOU HAVE AWAKENED UNCYCLOPEDIA'S RESIDENT NEO-CON!! SUPER MCCAIN POWERS ACTIVATE!! Yeah, I support Sen. McCain. What a suprise. --Capercorn FLAME! what? UNATO OWS 20:16, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

Now you've done it

YOU HAVE AWAKENED UNCYCLOPEDIA'S RESIDENT POLITICAL APATHIST!! SUPER NOTHING POWERS TAKE A NAP! Fucked if I care who gets elected. I assume that whoever is chosen will be just as inept as the last guy. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:58, Mar 19

Is that even possible? --OptyC Sucks! CUN 21:11, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

Yes. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:17, Mar 19

It doesn't really matter

It doesn't really matter who we elect because no matter who it is, the US economy will go into another great depression on his/her watch. People get deep in debt and the government keeps printing up more money to bail them out, when even banks do that, you have to be scared. So what happens to an economy when their government prints money like there is no tomorrow and its citizens can't learn to live within their means? It happened to the USSR in the 1990's and in 2012-2017 it will be our turn. Nice knowing you all while I still can afford an Internet connection. :) --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 00:18, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

Maybe it would help if we had another V week?... I'm joking! I'm joking! Put the shotgun down... MrN 01:17, Mar 20

I'm glad you were joking, that means I can cancel the DEFCON 5 order and retract the ICBMs and order the SDI satellites to stand down. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 04:04, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

A very important message

It has come to the attention of STM 'n' Spang that the so-called Bradaphraser/Modusoperandi candidacy have been less than truthful about their cake policies. Our extremely reliable sources tell us that they don't plan to offer cake or pie at all, but instead plan on putting all their resources into creating some kind of unholy cross between the two. STM 'n' Spang promise to put an end to all genetic modification of cakes and pies! If such things were meant to exist, BENSON would have proclaimed himself to be Better Than Them. Say no to Bradaphraser/Modusoperandi! Say yes to STM 'n' Spang! To anything we ask you! VOTE FOR US! • Spang • ☃ • talk • 08:44, 20 Mar 2008

You've got my vote, Spang! And so does me! -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 18:11, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

Wait, they support the unholy pake? We can't allow such heresy! You've got my vote (for now). --OptyC Sucks! CUN 20:08, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

This advertisment paid for by Uncyclopedians for the Separation of Spang and Mooses

Fellow Uncyclopedians, did you know that the pork barrel political campaign of Stm and Spang is supported almost entirely by money from Big Wiki? The grassroots campaign from Uncyclopedia's heartland, Bradaphraser and Modusoperandi, only accepts donations from the grassroots of Uncyclopedia's heartland; Uncyclopedians just like you. Don't let the SS campaign of terror lead you astray, put your trust in Uncyclopedians like you. Us. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 18:25, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

Remember Uncyclopedians: In November 2008, when faced with the choice of the SS fascism and the Bradaphraser/Modusoperandi honest incompetence, make the RIGHT choice. ...Whatever that happens to be.--<<>> 12:37, 21 March 2008 (UTC)

Adverts! Weeee!

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And now back to your regularly scheduled political pissing contest.^TM - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs)^TM 18:31, Mar 20

DID YOU KNOW?

That Modusoperandi's mailman is racist towards Greeks? How can you trust somebody who has such a racist mailman? Vote for me 'n' Spang: our mailmen are loving people! -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 18:34, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

I find it abominable that stm failed to even MENTION wafflers in his previous statement.--<<>> 19:48, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

Queens and their spouses

Are really truly a neat solution to all of your problems re presidency. They are impartial, they stand above factions, they come dirt cheap and above all, they don't talk back. Oh, and they do not interfere in a political sense. Merely decorative. As it happens, I have some queens in stock, you can have them really really for a bargain. I'll even throw in the spouses dirt cheap. Get you queen now! Get them while they last! Get them while they're cheap! -- di Mario 21:14, 23 March 2008 (UTC)