User talk:DJ Irreverent/Archive 4
I didn't raep your talkpage but it looks like i did there ya go former adoptee[edit source]
• <5:34, 01 Jun 2008>
wah[edit source]
No one want raep my talkpage? :( -- 05:28, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
AHA! YOU JUST GOT RAPED BY QUA![edit source]
There you go. One rape, just for you. --
05:29, 1 June 2008 (UTC)YAY RAEPED! :D[edit source]
-- 05:31, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
WOTM[edit source]
I've just nominated you for writer of the month. Good luck. You deserve it. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey) 10:38, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
UnProvise[edit source]
Hey, I just wanted to point something out. When you decide to get involved in a new UnProvise, you need to add your name to the list of actors in the UnProvise, and tell which character you are playing in the space directly after it. If you simply create characters from thin air, as you did in Insane Asylum, nobody can tell who is playing that character, and you receive no credit for your role. However, if you sign your name, you get all the fame that comes with it :) * Flumpa [03:30] Jun 2, 2008
- mkay :D -- 03:31, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
FU Irreverent[edit source]
moar cookies. Don't forget to PLOX my LOLZ. • <8:13, 02 Jun 2008>
- /me gets out broom Shoo shoo get your PLOX off my LAWNZ -- 08:17, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
Some dashing individual has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
You just left a message[edit source]
You just left a message for me. What were you trying to say? Proxima Centauri 11:09, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
- DON'T GET INTO A FLAMEWAR. THE END. -- 11:10, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
How dare you?[edit source]
You don't appear to have a South Park image of yourself for me to add to my South Park images of people gallery at the moment. Rectify this shocking oversight, please. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:06, Jun 2
- This? -- 14:15, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
- Um... no. But it does give us time to stop, get some coffee, get smashed, have a bubble bath, get smashed and still be in a commanding lead. Don't worry, you have...
um
er
rain? -- 12:27, 3 June 2008 (UTC)- And fewer deadly spiders. Apart from that, you're pretty much there. I'm dreading heading over there in September, actually - I hear there's this strange bright thing in the sky that makes your skin go bright red and peel. Not sure I can handle that... --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:32, Jun 3
- Right now it is like *shudder* England over here; wet, cloudy, no crocodiles to wrestle and I haven't had a beer in minutes D: But the beaches in summer are something else -- 12:41, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
- Summer? Let's see, I have heard of such a thing. The concept intrigues me. I must investigate further upon my incursion into this strange and wonderful hemisphere. Mind you, as long as the Reef hasn't been completely eroded by the time I get there, I'll be a happy man. And if someone could just dismantle that darn Sydney Harbour Bridge so the soon-to-be Mrs UU can't drag me up it, well that would just be a bonus! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:47, Jun 3
- Do it! The bridge is teh awesome... unless your hips are playing up again gramps. Actually most of Australia is good (the 0.000000000001% that isn't desert or spiders that is) -- 12:52, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
- My hips are fine, but my fear of heights is also teh awesome. I have passed out atop tall buildings before... And everyone I know who has been to Australia, and everyone who I have met who comes from there, keeps on telling me how awesome the place is. One of my top three reasons for going is so I can finally say "I know" instead of "I wish I'd been..." I've always wanted to visit. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:58, Jun 3
- Do it! The bridge is teh awesome... unless your hips are playing up again gramps. Actually most of Australia is good (the 0.000000000001% that isn't desert or spiders that is) -- 12:52, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
- Summer? Let's see, I have heard of such a thing. The concept intrigues me. I must investigate further upon my incursion into this strange and wonderful hemisphere. Mind you, as long as the Reef hasn't been completely eroded by the time I get there, I'll be a happy man. And if someone could just dismantle that darn Sydney Harbour Bridge so the soon-to-be Mrs UU can't drag me up it, well that would just be a bonus! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:47, Jun 3
- Right now it is like *shudder* England over here; wet, cloudy, no crocodiles to wrestle and I haven't had a beer in minutes D: But the beaches in summer are something else -- 12:41, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
- And fewer deadly spiders. Apart from that, you're pretty much there. I'm dreading heading over there in September, actually - I hear there's this strange bright thing in the sky that makes your skin go bright red and peel. Not sure I can handle that... --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:32, Jun 3
- Um... no. But it does give us time to stop, get some coffee, get smashed, have a bubble bath, get smashed and still be in a commanding lead. Don't worry, you have...
No they didn't[edit source]
It's like they're BEGGING to be spammed • <4:12, 03 Jun 2008>
Hey wait a minute, what the hell is THIS? • <4:42, 04 Jun 2008>
- Ok. I am really angry to myself about this but when I was a really little noob I got overwhelmed by the whole uncyclopedia thing and without any adopter I became all confused (plus one of my friends died at the time, there is a forum somewhere), I was low on ideas and started writing an news article, became stuck, looked it up on the internet, found the article on the internet and (I am really mad about myself over it) copied a section that sounded good. The second was a WIP that was equally as stupid but (not trying to justify it) they weren't all just cut and paste. I then took a break (at my request) and got myself figured out and resolved never to repeat that and realized that with hard work I could turn out better work than the stuff I tried to copy. There is no way NO WAY in hell I am ever, ever going to repeat that stupid stunt. It was my noob ego getting ahead of itself and a made an unbelievably stupid noob mistake believing I could make myself happy by doing that. As you can see I am in no way proud of what I did and would NOT repeat it if I could start over. I really like what I have written and now I really like how I am writing. :( -- 06:03, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
- You are a great writer DJ, and you deserve WotM, and the GUN that goes with it. • <6:07, 04 Jun 2008>
- Plus, I'm sure that your friend was very lucky to know you. </serious> No go make fun of the star wars cockblocker I found. Hurry! • <6:12, 04 Jun 2008>
- Thanks. I really love this place and the people, how they can forgive a person for such douchebaggery :) -- 06:19, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
- Plus, I'm sure that your friend was very lucky to know you. </serious> No go make fun of the star wars cockblocker I found. Hurry! • <6:12, 04 Jun 2008>
- You are a great writer DJ, and you deserve WotM, and the GUN that goes with it. • <6:07, 04 Jun 2008>
Y'know, you don't see many VFH thanks templates about these days, do you?[edit source]
Don't care. I still use 'em. Here's one now:
*pop* Yeah, er, thanks for *pop* your vote for *pop* that... oh lord, her whole dress is made of... *popop* *pop* |
Thanks for the review, the nom, and probably other things as well. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:57, Jun 4
- I love them still -- 13:08, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: June 5th, 2008[edit source]
Because Uncyclopedia is no laughing matter.
June 5th, 2008 • Issue 6
Sixth Issue Relies on Guest Writers For the sixth issue of Unsignpost, guest writers from outside the fold have been chosen to write a bunch of stupid crap. Among them are the illiterate administrator Zombiebaron and reformed drug mule ThePaleOne. The community's outcries were heard soon afterwards, probably. Jack Phoenix, a respected Wikia staff member, said of one of the articles "Nobody cares about Cajek trolling Wookiepedia anymore. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed of Uncyclopedia for doing something like this. It's like I'm at a well-written version of ED." The Unsignpost staff, full of miscreants and malcontents, hung its collective head in shame and went to the corner for a sit down. Qua, who wanted to be in this issue of Unsignpost to whore his userpage, issued a statement at the press conference located at his Mayan temple: "Why didn't they do an injoke article on the fifth issue? Am I the only one who cares? Where have the lols gone, my friends? Where have the lols gone?" In response, the Unsignpost sent a secret "Fifth Issue Of Unsignpost" article directly to Qua, where it will be housed until his death. The Unsignpost writers, who have had a cut in pay since the leaving of Dr. Skullthumper, are now relying on the work of random people found on IRC for their inspiration. We now present to you an article in the Unsignpost by somebody else about a guy who works at the Unsignpost... /me headdesk [note: "me" refers to the entire Unsignpost staff]
It has been reported on #uncyclopedia that Cajek, our resident editor, has been banned from the "Star Wars Wiki", Wookieepedia. There has been an outrage in the star wars community, as they find Cajek to be a charming and respectable fellow [ed note: Cajek did NOT write this!]. Even us here at the the UnSignPost believe so, ( but don't tell Cajek that! ) [ed note: I SAW THAT! YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!] I spoke to one Cajek fan, Darth Vader, to see what kind of impact this has had on the community. "It really is tragic to see him get banned," said a distraught Vader, with tears dripping from his helmet, "I just don't understand it! How can there be no Cajek?! We've seen his greatest and sometimes his somewhat lameness. But we will be EPIC FAIL without him" Vader's emotionally wrecked state shows the devastation caused by the Wookieepedia senate's unruly vote. I just hope Palpatine wasn't behind this, I voted for him too! I sat down with another fan, Jar Jar Binks, to discuss this radical move. "Mesa think its outrageous! Mesa no like Wookieepedia afta this! This beein worse than <insert name here>'s bombad faggotry!" And indeed it is. Personally, I denounce the Leftist Bias of Wookieepedia and their slander against Cajek. What did he ever do to them right? Personally, I hope Something really bad happens to those immature, pubescent, oxycotin sniffing children. In other news, 52% of Uncyclopedia agrees that Cajek should be set on fire on Sunday's Luau against 45% for drowned in his own discharge. 3% were undecided.
Alright. So. This is going to be cool. Because. You see. Therefore. Once upon a time. There was this really big house. Inside the house was a monster. Oh. This is a newspaper. Well, in that case, the monster was operating a grow op. Right. And the monster was named Skullthumper (because this is his fault, really, when you deconstruct it down to the last proton). Yeah!!!! But. Going onwards and upwards. The cops busted the grow op. It was fucking huge, man. THIS IS NEWS. IN THE UNSIGNPOST.
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:14, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
RAAAWR[edit source]
RAAAAWR!! GRAAH! Gavin thanks you for voting to publish his memoirs. Just don't let any trannies read it. Thanks for voting. |
~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 12:53 Jun 5
WEENIES![edit source]
UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way they did!
June 12th, 2008 • Issue 7
Cajek banned - New, shittier writer assigned to this stupid job
Recently Cajek, an Uncyclopedia user who has been labelled as a mystical creature, was been given a one month ban by the council of Wikia. Users who feared that UnSignpost would not be written or delivered. But Qua, who is currently in a state of shock, said that "Cajek was a good guy, I didn't expect him to get banned for a month. He was about to help me, I don't know what he was going to help me with but he was going to help me with something.". Many Uncyclopedians that are known have a hold a grudge against Cajek celebrated his recent ban saying "While he might be back in only a month, we should take the time to celebrate and rejoice a Cajek-free environment."
It has been reported that Flumpa, Uncyclopedia's very own pimply faced ginger-nut has left Uncyclopedia forever, due to irreconcilable differences. He cites the banning of users, fights between the two, the treatment of IP's as "real people" and the lack of cookies in mommas cookie jar. One of our reporters spoke to Flumpa as he was packing his wagon to leave Uncyclopedia "I like the holding hands and the fairy floss but Sophia has icky wiki germs and I just couldn't get past that. However I hear this new EDwina down the street is available, she may play in mud but I hear she has yummy yummy cookies." 127.0.0.1, leader of the "IPs are Real People, Too" Foundation had said that "Flumpa makes some great points on IP treatment, such as telling them that behind that string of random numbers lies an actual person; A person with heart. A person with brain. A person with spleen." When asked whether he would share his hard earned money on a badge from the Keep-the-IP's-out-of-Bannation-Foundation, this reporter simply told them to bugger off and get their own alcohol addiction gawdammit! We do, however, wish Flumpa the best of luck as he travels across the wiki-street with his trademarked brand of Off-topic forums to meet this EDwina fellow.
We at the UnSignpost would like to remind all Uncyclopedian editors that June is Internet safety month. Through the efforts of Uncyclopedia and other sites across the Internet, we can help protect innocent children and frail grandmothers from seeing offensive content DOUCHING Uhm, we're sorry about that. The editor that wrote that previous sentence has been fired, in accordance with the rules of Internet safety month. UnSignpost would like to remind all editors to use extra padding in tables, because we don't want the little kiddies touching the sharp edges and getting hurt. As per Internet safety month, all uploaded porn will be closely monitored to see if the models are engaging in safe fucking. I mean sex. SEX! I meant SEX! We apologize for the previous two editors. They have been shot, out in the hallway, in the most safe method possible, we assure you. We even laid out cushions for them to fall on. Anyway, Websense and other Internet blocking sites will up its sensors to block over 99.99% of the Internet. What will remain is available is the Wikipedia article "Frog", weather.com, and anything unblocked in China. We at UnSignpost wish you a happy Internet safety month, and hope that you stay safe. Remember to always use a firewall. Websense has blocked this column for the following reason: This column contains "humor".
Difficult times lie ahead for schoolbound Uncyclopedians. A series of semi-challenging tests lie in the near future for many, and everyone's workload seems to be growing. Unfortunately for Uncyclopedians, finals are nearly here. However, luckily for Uncyclopedia, finals are almost here! This means that, as procrastination rates skyrocket, Uncyclopedia activity grows proportionally. Haven't been studying for your math final? Those fancy words mean that Uncyclopedia usage is going up, just as teachers pull out their hair worrying about keeping their kids' averages above the department bottom line so they can keep their jobs. However, here at UnSignpost and Uncyclopedia, we pride ourselves on allowing for multi-tasking. So, here is a series of brief study guides that are pretty much all you need: Science: For this final, you will be asked questions about science. However, simply remember a few facts, and your science final will be a breeze. These include remembering that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny, pyruvate and phosphofruktokinase function as glycolytic enzymes, and the kidneys are located three ribs up from the malnuric sphincter. Math: Just prove to your teacher that 1=2, and any answer you give is automatically right. English: ENGLISH, MOFO, DO YOU SPEAK IT? History: To pass this, just try to remember a few important dates: 622BC, 394BC, 211BC, 5BC, 11AD, 24AD, 300AD, 906AD, 1102AD, 1619AD, 1791AD, 1963AD, and 2012AD. Tech. Ed.: Basically, you take a saw and cut shit up. Fucking A. Music class: Try not to fail and blow any notes. You'd sure look like a real tool, then, huh. Art: Just explain to your teacher how deep and misunderstood you are, and paint your feelings. Take a few pictures with a black and white camera setting and write a few "dark" poems, and if your teacher knows how often you cry then you'll have an easy A. Foreign language: THIS IS AMERICA, SPEAK AMERICAN! Gym: If you're really planning on studying for this final, then only God can help you now.
An article by Zombiebaron has caused a huge feud between the all-powerful admins that could ban me again. Thekillerfroggy has charged that the "Nonsense Watermelon Catastrophe" was not newsworthy enough, while Zombiebaron charges that the article is newsworthy, and therefore should not be deleted. In the fight, many people have cried "drama" and run for their lives. "Oh, this is deliiiicious!" said resident fucktard Drama. We spoke to Drama in his white linoleum mansion. He stopped seductively petting his gay snow leopard long enough to talk to us. "I loooove drama. I want their drama dripping all over my linoleum castle. I want their orgasmic screams of anger to rattle the walls! What do you think, Puffles?" "Oohh, puurrrrr" said Puffles. Some of the more regular users have claimed that the drama will bring unwanted side effects. RAHB has recently said to one of our reporters: "Remember, when there's drama, Ljlego touches himself." [Ed note: he said that on IRC, I swear. to. god. ban: banbanban.] Zombiebaron, an administrator who just happens to be a spectre of the unwept dead, spoke at his crypt this Tuesday dressed in his ceremonial black and red robes: "Hhhgggrrrr, I do not like speaking to the public: They give me a rash. As far as how random uncyclopedia is, we have two admins who are a balloon and a frog, so my article is perfect. The drama will not be settled until I taste the frog's flesh. Suffffeeeerrrrrr..." The Killer Froggy issued a statement soon after, with his frog army in the background: "ribbit? RIBBIT! ribbit. ribbit ribbit ribbit!" Both administrators have promised to ban the poor, misunderstood writer of this article if their statements were printed, but that's the risk we take to bring you the news. That's just how cool we are. Drama is the real winner here. As of this printing, he is planning to buy his gay snow leopard a fluffy red cape with the profits. And remember: every time there's drama, Ljlego touches himself. I'm not fucking kidding. He's all like, "oh yeah, oh, oh yeah I love you drama" and they're both in the love coven, snugglin' n' shit. I have pictures, guys! I swear it's totally ins AS OF THIS PARAGRAPH, CAJEK HAS BEEN BANNED INDEFINITELY. |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 17:04, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
Not pie but...[edit source]
Thank you! for your support. May your socks stay forever dry!
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Socks, sir, socks. Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 21:13, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
Review[edit source]
The Review is done. Founding Member Baseball16 15:43, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
This is the saga of the guy who didn't want me makin' funna the Nazis[edit source]
• <5:41, 18 Jun 2008>
- You're a complete bastard. You'd make a great admin :P -- 07:44, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
- Didn't we talk in the past already about being nice to people who don't know how to give reviews? Wasn't that his first attempt? ~ 13:27, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
- /me suggests Cajek's talkpage would be a better place for such a discussion -- 13:32, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
- DJ, do you think you could take over the signpost for a while? I'm getting scared because I haven't checked the press room in a long time, and I have no idea what they're saying about me... • <13:08, 18 Jun 2008>
- Sorry mate, I have exams soon and the only way I won't fail is if I stay off here :(. I'll try tonight/tomorrow but don't expect much. -- 13:12, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
- Well, it seems the press room is jumpin'. You could probably copy quite a bit from there, make up a story or two and a few "of the week" things. I trust you with the lulz. You're not a lulz nazi. And when you're done, just ask THEDUDEMAN to deliver it. • <13:14, 18 Jun 2008>
- Phew. The text is next next Monday not the coming one - I'll help :D -- 13:17, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
- I once got 3% in an exam at university, through the simple technique of turning up for it while experiencing a very bad acid comedown. And I still managed to leave the place with a degree. I swear, they give those things away. Anyway, just on the slight off chance you ask me to help out Caj, no can do. Not enough creative juices flowing. Although I doubt you were going to ask anyway. But nonetheless, I thought I'd mention it. I'm public spirited like that. Oh, hang on - double edit conflict. Well, this is now a completely unnecessary comment. I'm still gonna make it though. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:19, Jun 18
- I'm kinda the child prodigy of the family so anything less than 65% and I am F U C K E D. I really am very lucky the concussion was rather light after the first few days. -- 13:22, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
- So, that UnSignpost then? It's due out on thursdays. Today is, according to my calendar, thursday. England have achieved a very classy tactical non-defeat against the might of the Kiwis (let's hear it for slow over rates - that'll make us a feared force in cricket again!) and there appears to be no UnSignpost in my mailbox. What's going on? You've only been on the case a day and already you're letting it go to rack and ruin! ;-) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:31, Jun 19
- Holy fuck! where is it? I cant find the damn thing -- 13:05, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
- You have to make a new one Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/6-19-08. Copy one of the old ones onto it so that you get the format. Thanks DJ!! • <13:15, 19 Jun 2008>
- Holy fuck! where is it? I cant find the damn thing -- 13:05, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
- So, that UnSignpost then? It's due out on thursdays. Today is, according to my calendar, thursday. England have achieved a very classy tactical non-defeat against the might of the Kiwis (let's hear it for slow over rates - that'll make us a feared force in cricket again!) and there appears to be no UnSignpost in my mailbox. What's going on? You've only been on the case a day and already you're letting it go to rack and ruin! ;-) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:31, Jun 19
- I'm kinda the child prodigy of the family so anything less than 65% and I am F U C K E D. I really am very lucky the concussion was rather light after the first few days. -- 13:22, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
- I once got 3% in an exam at university, through the simple technique of turning up for it while experiencing a very bad acid comedown. And I still managed to leave the place with a degree. I swear, they give those things away. Anyway, just on the slight off chance you ask me to help out Caj, no can do. Not enough creative juices flowing. Although I doubt you were going to ask anyway. But nonetheless, I thought I'd mention it. I'm public spirited like that. Oh, hang on - double edit conflict. Well, this is now a completely unnecessary comment. I'm still gonna make it though. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:19, Jun 18
- Phew. The text is next next Monday not the coming one - I'll help :D -- 13:17, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
- Well, it seems the press room is jumpin'. You could probably copy quite a bit from there, make up a story or two and a few "of the week" things. I trust you with the lulz. You're not a lulz nazi. And when you're done, just ask THEDUDEMAN to deliver it. • <13:14, 18 Jun 2008>
- Sorry mate, I have exams soon and the only way I won't fail is if I stay off here :(. I'll try tonight/tomorrow but don't expect much. -- 13:12, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
- Didn't we talk in the past already about being nice to people who don't know how to give reviews? Wasn't that his first attempt? ~ 13:27, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
- I want an in-depth review, please. Section by section, the works. XD -- 13:22, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
Irish[edit source]
For your vote in favour of today's FA, please allow me to serve you a modest Irish breakfast:
Cheers. NaturalBornKieler (talk) 20:03, 18 June 2008 (UTC)Unsignpost & Ban[edit source]
Hey DJ! Thanks for giving it a shot. Good luck on getting your ban! You know what I find works? trolling retarded wikis with your favorite noob • <10:58, 20 Jun 2008>
- Sorry. I feel bad for letting you down but I really do just have too much work. I haven't had a feature this month because of too much interruption and I really wanted at least one in my (possible) WotM month :( -- 11:02, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
- Go work on your article, then, mah newb! Don't worry about it! :D • <11:04, 20 Jun 2008>
- oh dear god • <11:00, 20 Jun 2008>
- BURN bURn BRUN BUN bNUR -- 11:02, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
- HEY KIDS! MAKE YOUR OWN POKEMON! • <11:04, 20 Jun 2008>
- BURN bURn BRUN BUN bNUR -- 11:02, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: June 19th, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper Made Entirely From Recycled Internet Memes
June 19whenever-th, 2008 • Issue 8
UnSignpost abandoned by creators!
Uncyclopedia's popular newspaper/tacky tabloid rag (delete according to preference) the UnSignpost - already floundering following the loss of founding editor Dr. Skullthumper - has been dealt another, possibly fatal blow, with the news that popular feature-machine and international diplomat Cajek has not been arsed to edit the latest issue. When thursday June 19th dawned without the by-now-traditional UnSignpost dropping onto their talkpages, Unycylopedians everywhere could be heard bravely dealing with the incident by pretending they hadn't noticed. We asked prominent Uncyc contributors for their reactions to the journalistic crisis facing their favourite wiki-based news delivery system. "SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON.... SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON!" said Don Leddy, obviously coping badly with the news. Sensing a possible catastrophe, DJ Irreverent bravely leaped into the breach and created a forum topic that galvanised the community, while UU declared himself too busy to help, then promptly wrote about half of the paper. While still suffering from writer's block, which explains the total lack of lulz and inspiration thus far. It's probably about time to link to nobody cares and close this story now, isn't it? Industrial mogul joins Uncyclopedia, promises great wealth to all.
Donald Trump, the man, the legend, the Tower, the hairstyle, has taken time out of his busy international schedule to create a forum topic promising affluence beyond the dreams of avarice to all on Uncyclopedia! Despite the impeccable credentials displayed on his userpage, so far only Qua and SysRq managed to take advantage of the popular billionaire's altruism before he was ruthlessly banned by noted anti-capitalist Codeine. UnSignpost was particularly impressed with Codeine's ability to resist the temptation to use "you're fired" as a block reason, as we are sure it would have been all but overwhelming. It is to be hoped that, on his return from bannination, Mr Trump will use his undoubted wealth and business connections to help Uncyc beat the ever-encroaching threat of Wikia's advertising plans. N00b ties knot
Popular recent NotM winner Cheapinitreal has further embarrassed the Uncyclopedia community by becoming all respectable and getting married. Confessing to his transgression, Cheap added "all and all, it was a right fine week". The UnSignpost would like to write something really funny here, then wish Cheap all the best, but this issue is being rushed out as it's, like, way late, so we just don't have time. UnSignpost resorts to blatant filler
In a move heralded as "an exciting development in journalism" by guest editor UU, the UnSignpost today employed blatant flannel to fill an annoying white gap at the bottom of the page. It is believed that this is the first such instance of using blatant rubbish to fill a newspaper page in journalistic history. "I'm proud to be at the vanguard of such a groundbreaking technique" said UU, before going off to scour Cajek's ideas page in a desperate hunt for inspiration. "Is this long enough yet?" he added, before concluding "not quite, another few words or so should do the trick". |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 01:12, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
UnProvise[edit source]
Hey DJ. I'm just trying to kickstart UnProvise a bit and get more people using it, again. It's kinda fallen a bit into disuse. Anyway I've started this one UnProvise, that I hope will get more people using UnProvise and involved. Wanna contribute to that UnProvise, for the greater glory of all UnProvise land? Just think of a famous character... - [13:28 22 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise
The Latest UnSignpost[edit source]
I need some help with the first headline. Go head and improve it, and also PLEASE add a quote in there from you. Thanks! -- 05:01, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
Papa Irreverent[edit source]
Finally you settled down and had a kid. I'm not sure how I became you adopter -- I think it involved kidnapping -- but you really are a good writer. In fact, other than that, you're probably a better role model than I am, seeing as how I keep getting banned and all. I'm looking forward to your new projects (like the Algebra thing, and the Metropolis article), and to Hex's stuff. I felt for sure you were about to adopt FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS, but Hex is the next best thing. Keep me updated, DJ! • <10:32, 26 Jun 2008>
secret message[edit source]
DOOD, COOKIE MONSTER HAS A SECRET MESSAGE FOR YOU! DECODE! 1=A, 2=B, ETC.!
• <14:36, 27 Jun 2008>
- gxidf? -- 11:23, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
- GXIDF GXIDF GXIDF • <13:22, 28 Jun 2008>
But also, I guess I should ask: Need help with any articles or anything, DJ? • <13:34, 28 Jun 2008>
- Well I really want to get the Schoolean algebra article tuned up but that can probably be done when I have some decent writing time (about the 3rd onwards) -- 13:37, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
- I looked at it again, and it's pretty much ready for mainspace. A word of advice: don't be too perfectionist. Each article has a different level of funny it can reach. Your schoolean algebra is nearly as good as your pre-schoolean economics, IMO. • <13:50, 28 Jun 2008>
- The problem is it could be funnier if I had the time to get the prose sounding right. It is more a level of refining it than just having a big old pile of gags lying around. That is what I found when you get experienced. You have the same number of gags, they are just refined so that they are funnier. -- 14:04, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
- Hmmm... yeah, that sounds about right, DJ... Well, I would say don't worry about screwing up. Your articles are longer and fancier than mine, and take longer and more effort to make truly awesome, and therefore take more experimentation. Just my opinion, I guess. • <14:19, 28 Jun 2008>
- The problem is it could be funnier if I had the time to get the prose sounding right. It is more a level of refining it than just having a big old pile of gags lying around. That is what I found when you get experienced. You have the same number of gags, they are just refined so that they are funnier. -- 14:04, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
- I looked at it again, and it's pretty much ready for mainspace. A word of advice: don't be too perfectionist. Each article has a different level of funny it can reach. Your schoolean algebra is nearly as good as your pre-schoolean economics, IMO. • <13:50, 28 Jun 2008>
UnSignpost: June 26nd, 2008[edit source]
Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!
June 26th, 2008 • Issue 9
Uncyclopedia running out of Interesting Stuff. UnSignpost in Jeopardy!
Recently. Uncyclopedia, in its maternal state. Is running out of interesting stuff as most users keep filling her with the same old stuff day after day. Most if not almost all of the staff at the UnSignpost panicked as this meant that their newspaper, which faced the threat of disabondement yesterday. Could be folded by the Uncyclopedia Penis Man returns!
At exactly 12:29 AM Monday morning, some local idiot decided that it would be a great day to stir up drama and piss people off with some long forgotten shit. And with that, Penis Man made his way back to our great Uncyclopedia with the intent of vandalizing Boomer's userpage. Soon after, the Town drunk Eugene Kay decided to follow suit by uploading the same image by the name of Zombiepenis. Why he decided to make such an apparent strike at the admin who has beat him so much is currently unknown. We at UnSignpost give them both a 25000000:1 chance of being banned. Local Uncyclopedian starts up Devil-Worship Wiki
In a recent devil-related press conference. Cartoon Diablo, the younger and sillier version of Diablo. Has started up The Devil's Wiki, a wiki dedicated to worship of Satanism and The Devil itself. In a recent interview, Cartoon Diablo has said personally that "The wiki's going to contain a lot about the devil, no seriously. There's going to be articles about the caverns of hell, the kind of foods the devil eats and also various artworks done by the Devil himself. And if your asking if it's going to be great. Well... Yeah!, It's going to be satantastic!". Immediately after this was posted on the UnSignpost, 2 people have joined the satanic wiki. The 2 people are described to be a Himilianian Yettie and an Male Amish Human. Both of them have pledged their allegiance to the devil in return for absolute power. In today's weather report, make sure to bring an umbrella as Hell may be raining over within the next few days. Uncyclopedia's Reign of the Newbs Begins
Interestingly enough, lots of new noobs (and old noobs) are getting featured articles these days. Somehow, the cult of the newbs has awoken, and Uncyc has felt its presence link to Double Entendre. Oh... did I say that out loud? "I don't trust the young 'uns," said Farmer O'Dell at his grain silo, "They write funny articles, yeah, but what do they contribute to the community?" Actually, writers like Hyperbole, Cheapinitreal, and The Woodburninator have stepped up, and are already commanders. Except that last one, who is close enough. Big time contributors like YesTimeToEdit, Qua, and Orian57 are cleaning up this pig sty. Older members of uncyc have become less active, and are paving the way for these rising stars to shine. Uh, speaking as myself? I've never been more proud of Uncyclopedia than I have in the last month or so. Keep it up, guys! |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:29, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
WOTM[edit source]
So what are you gonna do with your gun, DJ? • <12:55, 01 Jul 2008>