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Today's featured article From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia The Committee to End Pay Toilets in America was a grass-roots political organization which was (apparently) the sole driving force behind the ban of pay toilets in many American cities and states. Founded in 1970 by then-nineteen year old Ira Gessel, the Committee's purpose was to "eliminate pay toilets in the U.S. through legislation and public pressure." “When a man's or woman's natural body functions are restricted because he or she doesn't have a piece of change, there is no true freedom.” ~ Ira Gessel (More...) Did you know... *... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity? ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall? ... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard? ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out? ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one? ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop? In the news Clearly not Deion Sanders vouching for his son Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide (Pictured) Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!) Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church Trump Administration prepares to deport everybody except Native Americans New Easter Bunny is a fascist 4chan hacked, nobody cares Vatican commits simony YouTube child educator Ms. Rachel detained and deported by ICE Steve's Lava Chicken shut down due to health code violations Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers Recent deaths: Kurt from Good Burger • George Foreman • 23andMe • Bruce Glover • Richard Chamberlain • Roger Daltrey's eyes and ears • Val Kilmer • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Your 401K • Jay North • The 1-game "playoff runs" of the mid-tier NBA teams • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park Lincoln Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global Economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Gawr Gura • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room On this day... April 29: Annual Belly Button Lint Harvest (Peru) 1108 - Last of the Ancient Jizzlamists captured and killed by the Abbasid Caliphate, challenging their Golden Age's renowned tolerance. 1862 - New Orleans falls to Union forces under Admiral David Farragut. Union forces would later prove to be the undoing of the manufacturing sector, curse you commies! 1942 - Brave Peruvian ace pilot José "Speedy" Gonzales caricatured by shameful American cartoon. (Pictured) 1954 - On a dare, a group of drunken Oxford History postgrads build Stonehenge in just under five hours in the middle of the night, Oxford fabricates druids to save face. 1968 - The controversial musical Hair, based on an Oscar Wilde work, opens on Broadway. 1988 - Video kills the Radio Star: Video is promptly arrested. 1993 - Don DeLilo's biting surrealist novel, Jacomo's Belly Fluff, panned by critics as "bourgeois" and "insufficiently postmodern." Colonization of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.