Uncyclopedia:Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball

The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball
Uncyclopedia:Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball
The BEST of the WORST, or vice versa
Awarded for	Bad taste articles and images
Founder	Mhaille
Reward	{{Aristocrat}}
First awarded	2007
Last awarded	2020
Turkey Day Ball	The Aristocrats Any% Speedrun by xXxCaTxXx (WR) by Cat the Colourful
Bad Taste Article	Jeffrey Epstein by CandidToaster
Master Goa Tse	The_Aristocrats.jpg by Sannse (tied) GroomingSimpsonsShitpost.png by Kippy(tied)
Preceeded by	Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball (2013)
Followed by	The Article Whisperer (2014)

The Competition

What exactly IS The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball? To put it simply it is a festival of frivolity and bad taste, highlighting all those fine, fine contributions in three different categories that we never want to see featured.

Who can enter?

Anyone and everyone. All registered members of Uncyclopedia are encouraged to enter. You may enter only once for each category for which you are eligible (one article per category per person). If you wish to collaborate with other eligible contestants, you may do so, but that will count as your one entry in the category. Collaborative efforts will have to decide who is the "team leader," who will house the article on his/her name space and receive the prize if your collaboration wins, at which point (it is assumed) s/he will distribute the winnings among the other members of the team. If a user wishes to enter in more than one category (for which s/he is eligible), s/he is welcome to do so, either collaborating or alone, but may, again, only enter one per category. Two collaborations do not count as one entry; they count as two.

How does it work?

As with the PLS competition, compose your work in your user space and submit below the relevant category sections. The competition will remain open for 2 weeks from its start date (November 22nd, 2021), after which the page shall be protected and judging will commence (December 5th, 2021). The results of this will be announced a week following that (December 12th, 2021).

Do pieces entered in the competition have to be NEW and ORIGINAL?

YES!

Again, just like PLS, any works entered in this competition must be original, and created after the contest's official start date. You'd think this concept would be self-explanatory, but here it is now, in print, for all to see.

Also, pee review is not allowed. All rules pertaining to peer evaluation present in the traditional Poo Lit Surprise writing competition are common here. Just puttin' that out there.

When is the competition held?

Writing starts November 22nd and will last for two weeks. All entries will be locked for judgery on December 5th, 2021 at 00:00 UTC.

Judgery will last for a week thereafter. This year's Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball features community judging. Anyone with an account older than 30 days can vote for one entry per category. Competition entrants cannot vote for any category they have entered. All winners will be announced on December 12th.

The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball

CONCEPT:

The Aristocrats is often lauded as the world's dirtiest joke. But to seasoned purveyors of this joke, it is an opportunity to make the bizarre, grotesque and immoral become a platform for insane hilarity. As we enter this season of blessings-counts and humble pie, this platform seems all-too-perfect for the sick and twisted minds of Uncyclopedia. A beautiful expression of the first amendment in all her Norman Rockwellian glory.

In the contest, editors shall create a subpage in their Userspace solely devoted to their telling of the joke. Length, formatting and delivery are left discretion of the editor. Once the contest commences, a 3-person panel of judges shall elect one winner and two runner-ups.

RULES:

1. All registered users may submit one (1) entry to the contest.
2. While portions may overlap, any reproduction of another person's telling of the joke (be they regular people, fellow editors, or comedians such as those seen in The Aristocrats film) is grounds for instant disqualification.
3. Out of fairness to all participants, users may NOT record audio versions of their work.
4. Banned or suspended users and/or sock puppet users are ineligible for participation.

JUDGING:

Elements to consider:

1. Overall Humor – Judges shall decide this field based on the entry they find the funniest, regardless of other judging fields.
2. Delivery of Humorous Elements – As the delivery of this joke shall be textual, judges shall decide this field based on their perception of the joke's delivery in this medium.
3. Use of Obscenity and Profanity – Profanity, obscenity, debauchery and lewdness are inherent elements of The Aristocrat's. However, it is the clever utilization of these elements that determine their effectiveness in conveying the humor of the joke. As such, herein judges shall decide the effectiveness of this field.
4. Miscellaneous – Points awarded for style, originality, design flourish, etc. depending upon the opinions of the judge.

WINNERS: The contest's winner shall be dubbed Uncyclopedia Aristocrat en Regalia, and receive an honorary template to that effect. First and second runners up shall receive Uncyclopedia Aristocrat Honoree templates.

Top 3

Winner: The Aristocrats by Christopher Nolan by Cat the Colourful
Runner up: User:Zana Dark/Aristocrats by Zana Dark
Second Runner up: Best aristocrat ever by Shabidoo

This Year's Articles

Username – Comment	Entry
Shabidoo – Not enough people signing up for this. Sign up people	Best aristocrat ever
Cat the Colourful – I'll heckin do it	The Aristocrats by Christopher Nolan
Kakun – yep	User:Kakun/The Aristocrats, by a Wikipedian
Zana Dark – This one's for the kids.	User:Zana Dark/Aristocrats

Judging

1. Yes, I'll partake in the judging this year. RealLifeCartman (talk) 02:20, 24 November 2021 (UTC)
2. 1) Cat the Colourful with Christopher Nolan's Aristocrats. 2) Zana Dark with the Fairytale. 3) Shabidoo with the Best aristocrat ever. 4) Kakun with the Wikipedian's Aristocrats. -- Thankful Kippy Share blessings Bountiful harvest 07:46, Dec. 2, 2021
3. First Place: The Aristocrats by Christopher Nolan, despite a lack of images. It's really biting, humorous, colorful, unique, warm and has character. Might be a controversial choice but fuck it. Second Place: Best aristocrat ever, a more traditional interpretation of The Aristrocrats but the content is really good and the execution is surprisingly good. Third Place: The Aristocrats, by a Wikipedian, this one is both satirical and humorous. Feels a bit lazy but I feel that is the intent rather than the justification. I love it's self-referential nature. Fourth Place: Fairytale, the jokes don't land as well as the prior articles, there's little character and not as good as the Sandwich article in my opinion. RealLifeCartman (talk) 02:35, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
4. First place to Cat the Colourful, really unique and fun take on the Aristocrats. Second to Zana Dark - the jokes are very Uncyclopedia-like, which makes the article slot in particularly well, I feel. Third to Shabidoo, some of the skits (I'd say especially No. 3) was particularly enjoyable to read. Fourth to Kakun - another very Uncyclopedia-style joke, even though its quite short (hence the lower score).  Cassandra  (talk) 16:46, 18 December 2021 (UTC)

Best Bad Taste Article

CONCEPT:

For articles of inappropriate or offensive subject matter, those deemed to be of "bad taste". Drawing upon many timeless classics, from the gentle subtleties of Holocaust Tycoon, the sensitivity of The Diary of Anne Frank or the information-packed knowledge base that is Anal Glands, this is your chance to join a select genre of quality humour.

RULES:

1. All registered users may submit one (1) entry to the contest.
2. Banned or suspended users and/or sock puppet users are ineligible.

JUDGING:

1. Overall Humour – Judges shall decide this field based on the entry they find the funniest, regardless of other judging fields.
2. Miscellaneous – Points awarded for style, originality, design flourish, etc. depending upon the opinions of the judge.

WINNERS: The contest's winner shall be dubbed Uncyclopedia Aristocrat en Regalia, and receive an honorary template to that effect. First and second runners-up shall receive Uncyclopedia Aristocrat Honoree templates.

Top 3

Winner: Dear Dude by Shabidoo
Runner up: User:Zana Dark/This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich by Zana Dark
Second Runner up: User: Kakun/HowTo:Watch Squid Game without actually watching Squid Game by Kakun

This Year's Articles

Username – Comment	Entry
MrX – I think we can all agree it's about time.Unable to finish, my apologies.	Reparations for white people
Kakun – I haven't watched it.	User: Kakun/HowTo:Watch Squid Game without actually watching Squid Game
Zana Dark – Everyone loves sandwiches.	User:Zana Dark/This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich
Shabidoo	Dear Dude

Judging

1. 1) Dear Dude. What the fuck? 2) "This is not an Article, It's a Sandwich" great parody. 3) Squid Game. Thanks for the spoilers, asshole! -- Thankful Kippy Share blessings Bountiful harvest 07:47, Dec. 2, 2021
2. I got nothing better to do. --RealLifeCartman (talk) 01:42, 8 December 2021 (UTC)
3. 1st place: User:Shabidoo/Dear Dude - This is probably the most touching confession since I ate your Haagen-Dazs... Really engaging, topical, plenty of great laughs and once again another one of the great asshole protagonists you tend to write in these. Second place: User:Kakun/HowTo:Watch Squid Game without actually watching Squid Game. - Truly a helpful guide in these times of everyone being really cool and resisting hype over hyped things. I loved the Israel bit. Although, personally having watched Squid Game myself I would have wished if you had tied aspects of series a bit more deeply into this (regardless of the fact whether you had watched it or not lol). I think you had something there with the North Korea angle for example! I just read a recent news article where NK called the show and the South Korean society "beastly" and failed to grasp that that was literally the series' point, which was hilarious. So much for taking things at face value... Third place: This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich - That certainly is a sandwich and not an article. There's a great use of good language and writing but I couldn't help but think it's just a list of fancy ingredients with not much else going on, sorry. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 22:07, 9 December, 2021 (UTC)
4. 1st place: Dear Dude, the funniest and by far the cringiest. VFHworthy, I laughed a lot, I won’t thank you right now, but I should eventually. 2nd place: This is not an Article, it’s a Sandwich, hilarious, and it aroused my curiosity, very well done. 3rd place: HowTo:Watch Squid Game without actually watching Squid Game, this one is also very funny, fortunately I watched Parasite first, but it feels incomplete. Lots of potential. Most sections should be expanded a little, and maybe even adding more sections would be funny too. MrX blow me 04:48, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
5. 1st place: Dear Dude, I was going to vote it second but fuck it, it's the pure example of tastelessness. 2nd Place, This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich. I understood everything that was going on but I felt like the analogies and metaphors and similes were a bit too much, needed more blatant humor and jokes in there. 3rd Place: HowTo:Watch Squid Game without actually watching Squid Game. Eh, doesn't exactly reach the highlights of the top 2 articles but if fleshed out, could be promising. RealLifeCartman (talk) 02:41, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
6. 1st place for Dear Dude, really hits all the targets. 2nd goes to this is not an article, it's a Sandwich - similar reasons, albeit slightly less good, I would argue. 3rd goes to HowTo:Watch Squid Game without actually watching Squid Game - it, well, feels a little "split apart" if you know what I mean.  Cassandra  (talk) 23:56, 18 December 2021 (UTC)

The Master Goa Tse Award for Digital Imagery

QUALITY images only please!

CONCEPT:

This category is designed to highlight images that, although are painfully funny, inspire the viewer with the desire to spork out their eyes due to guilt and self loathing at finding them amusing. As with the other categories this is NOT about shock or gore images, it is primarily about well crafted imagery that may just happen to press the wrong buttons.

RULES:

1. All registered users may submit one (1) entry to the contest.
2. All pictures must be original to the author in some way, either 'chopped to some degree, done entirely by the author, or be otherwise edited in some meaningful way. Basically, don't steal other people's images. You've been warned.
3. Banned or suspended users and/or sock puppet users are ineligible.

JUDGING:

1. Overall Humour – Judges shall decide this field based on the entry they find the funniest, regardless of other judging fields.
2. Quality – Just how well made IS the image?
3. Cleverness – Points are awarded for creativity, for well-thought-out images.
4. Miscellaneous – Points awarded for style, originality, design flourish, etc. depending upon the opinions of the judge.

WINNERS: The contest's winner shall be dubbed Uncyclopedia Aristocrat en Regalia, and receive an honorary template to that effect. First and second runners-up shall receive Uncyclopedia Aristocrat Honoree templates.

Top 3

• 1 - {{big|Winner: by Zana Dark
• 2 (Runner up) - by Shabidoo

This Year's Images

Username – Comment	Entry
Zana Dark – I thought maybe you were sick of turkey by now.
Shabidoo

Judging

• 1) Beef Curtains, 2) Afghan girl. -- Thankful Kippy Share blessings Bountiful harvest 07:48, Dec. 2, 2021
• 1st. place: Zana's picture. 2nd place: Shab's picture. I'm ranking these purely from an aesthetic/photoeditory viewpoint, but I really lol'd at the idea in Shabidoo's picture. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 22:09, 9 December, 2021 (UTC)
• Zana, then Shab. Only b/c Zana's image looks better. Well, I'm biased.  Cassandra  (talk) 23:57, 18 December 2021 (UTC)

Questions

Awards, Decorations and Honours