User:Kakun/HowTo:Watch Squid Game without actually watching Squid Game

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Dis ho did not direct Squidgame.

Squid Game is a South Korean Netflix show about a bunch of very rich people who watch a bunch of very poor people play South Korean childhood games, and gamble on their lives. It's more successful than Game of Thrones. So far, so good. The only question is, how to not watch Squid Game, and ruin the experience of watching the movie Parasite. Parasite was such an exciting and enriching experience and I have a feeling that watching this Squid Game would ruin it for me. So if you're in the same situation I'm in right now, you might find this article useful.

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North Korea

For our North Korean readers, watching Squid Game without watching Squid Game is quite easy, actually. You just watch the news. Kim Jong-un has watched the show and he's a big fan. He is also very rich so he shoots all poor people watching the show. So in North Korea, watching Squid Game is exactly like playing the game Squid Game in the show Squid Game. And since North Korean people are poorer than any other types of people in the history of mankind, it's impossible for them to not watch the show. It's like that scene from Parasite about the North Korean news guy.

South Korea

Just read this article, or the plot section in Wikipedia like I did. But you must watch Parasite first.

Japan

Watching the Japanese flag is a start, because it's a square and a circle.

Then you can borrow a triangle from the Israeli flag, it has two triangles because one triangle was occupied from the Palestinian flag.

But you must watch Parasite first.

Israel

In Israel you might want to try watching another foreign Netflix show, called Shtisel. The concept is the same, rich people who are secular and so have a job and so are able to keep a TV set, watch a show about poor people who are orthodox & unemployed and so cannot keep a TV set, and gamble on their lives. The only difference is that the rich people in Shtisel are the viewers of the show. You might say it's the first good reality TV show. Shtisel is about the Shtisel family, who live in Jerusalem and consist of Shulem Shtisel, his ghost wife, and all their children. Shulem is Yiddish accent for Shalom, which means "peace" in Hebrew. There are many secular people in Israel who are named Shalom, but only an orthodox Shalom would call himself Shulem.

Shulem's favorite child is Akiva, who is a painter and a minor-celebrity in the Israeli art world, because of his orthodox background. Akiva struggles throughout the show to find love, and Shulem gets out of his way to help him.

Shulem's favorite grandchild is Ruchami. She is played by the Emmy-nominated actress Shira Haas. She was nominated for another show which was also about orthodox stuff. Ruchami is extremely cute.

Another hot actress is the female soldier whom Brad Pitt cuts off her arm in World War Z (Season 3).

The star of the show is one of Shulem's daughters, Gitti. She is extremely hot.

But you must watch Parasite first.

France

Go to any Parisian restaurant, order some squid and play with it. But you must watch Parasite first.

Jason Alexander's nostril

There must be some kind of parasite there; so just read How To Act Without Acting by Jason Alexander, or commit suicide.

See also

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