Babel:Santa

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White History Month, (also known as Caucasian History Month), is an annual observance for remembrance of important people and events in the history of the Caucasian diaspora. It is celebrated annually in the United States every September. Before the United States was established, Caucasians were a minority race outnumbered by Africans, Asians and even Indians; they were often negated to ghettos and inner slums in their native hometowns of Europe and the United Kingdom. The treatment of them were staggering, many of them were forced to panhandle for money because they could not find work from their black employers, many of them were also beaten up in a show of superiority from the police force of which few Caucasians were admitted. It was not until the beginning of the American revolution that the caucasians would see a massive rise in population, thus bringing them closer to their peers.

With the establishment of the United States, the Caucasians made a place for their own; however, there was a huge problem in that African masters would often venture into the United States looking for Caucasian slaves. While enslaved, they were forced to do menial labor such as harvest crops and clean up the bathrooms of said Africans and whenever said Caucasian would get out of control, they'd be whipped or much worse, killed in front of their peers. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

...that Santa has somehow delivered presents to all the people in the world every christmas, even though the laws of physics dictate that he would be an incinerated and crushed pile of ashes by now, along with all his reindeer?
...that Santa, when his name is scrambled, is Satan?

...even though he's a magical and kindhearted person?

...that Santa is mean to his elves?

...and that the elves are revolting against Santa?

...that Santa doesn't care about you? In fact, nobody cares?

...and that Santa does care about and love everyone else in the world?

...that reindeer are never magical?
...that even though he has a whole bunch of elves working for him, Santa does shopping for presents all the time?

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In the news
Think of the children, Santa! Santa has gone crazy. Even more than before. (Pictured) UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
March 28: Turkey—the Country, not the Bird—Day 1453 - Constantinople wants to reinvent itself, changes name to Istanbul, but honestly everyone preferred Byzantium. 1784 - Benjamin Franklin proposes that the humble turkey be the national bird of the United States, since it's got a big juicy ass. 1871 - French revolutionaries form the Paris Commune, nascent leadership quickly devolves into squabbling over the finer points of Marx's Critique of the Gotha Program before getting skewered by French troops. 1979 - A nuclear meltdown in Three Mile Island, Pennsylvania actually mutates the population of Pittsburgh closer to normal. 1990 - George W. Bush gives the late Jesse Owens the Presidential Medal of Freedom, Bush now says he has black friend. 2018 - The traitor Gülen (Pictured) sits on his remote and changes the channel seconds before the climax to his favorite soap; God is with us brothers. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

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As you enjoy this Christmas holiday safe at home with your family, please remember the brave men and women who gave their lives in the name of Christmas spirit.

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Recent Articles

Writer and Noob of the Month

Santa's newest creation, the Elveatron 5000, has written many works of art full of creativity and cunning, and so has earned the title of Writer of the Month.

Now, how can a robot generate such wonderful writing? Well, Santa programs the robot to generate random strings of letters, numbers, and other characters at insanely fast speeds (1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 per second, in fact) and Santa then picks out the strings that look the best and puts them on Uncyclopedia as presents to all Uncyclopedia users.

Isn't Santa wonderful?

Rudolph has recently gone crazy and made really noobish and bad edits recently. So, we've given him the honorary title of Noob of the month. Yes, Rudolph may have guided Santa and his sleigh on those foggy Christmas Eves, but he was taking his medicine then. He yesterday refused to take his medicine and now he is throwing chairs at people and mauling them, and he is making bad edits on Uncyclopedia. OH GOD THERE HE IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You now only have 3, god dammit, 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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