User:THE/awardxs
 Grand Cross of the Order |
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Writer of the Month January 2008 |
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Featured Article: Drunk Olympics This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
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Featured Article: HowTo:Turn Your Computer On This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
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Featured Article: UnNews:Geology classes in Alabama now mandating alternative "Paul Bunyan" theory This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
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Featured Article: UnScripts:Grass in the Mist This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
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Featured Article: UnNews:Anti-genocide group announces new plan to get American government to intervene in Darfur This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
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Featured Article: UnNews:Record percentage of children dressed up as mortgage foreclosure bankers this Halloween This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
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Featured Article: UnScripts:Grass in the Mist II This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
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Featured Article: America This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
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Featured Article: UnNews:Survey on apathy cancelled due to lack of interest This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
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Featured Article: UnNews:Study reveals 1 in 4 teen girls has an STD; America congratulates teen boys on sexual exploits This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
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Featured Article: UnNews:Massive stadium brawl breaks out over contemporary solipsist philosophy This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
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Featured Article: UnNews:Aftershock from Chinese earthquake knocks over American glass of water in "major tragedy" This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
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Featured Article: UnNews:Obama selects cabinet, still undecided on bookshelf and coffee table This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
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Featured Article: The Bourne Pottery Class This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! |
This user is the
August 2007
Playwright of the Month
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Foolitzer Prize Winner November 2007 |
We don't have money, so we just gave them the Greasy Mechanic Award for their help. Get your own next time around and help fix up Uncyclopedia.
We don't have money, so we just gave them the Greasy Mechanic Award for their help. Get your own next time around and help fix up Uncyclopedia.
 | Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award For donating high quality material to the Pee Review. |
| Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award For donating high quality material to the Pee Review. |
| Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award For donating high quality material to the Pee Review. |
| Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award For donating high quality material to the Pee Review. |
| Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award For donating high quality material to the Pee Review. |
| Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award For donating high quality material to the Pee Review. |
| Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award For donating high quality material to the Pee Review. |
| Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award For donating high quality material to the Pee Review. |
| Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award For donating high quality material to the Pee Review. |
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Trar has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
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User:Mr.Vib has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
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TheNewYarkov has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
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User:Ljlego has awarded you half of a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
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User:Ljlego has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
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Gert5 has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
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Manforman has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
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On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! |
 | CloroxQuest award
This user has successfully found Clorox's hidden links. |
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A mysterious stranger has awarded you a slice of cake! The icing is extra-frosty! |
| Long Talk Page Award
This person should probably archive his talkpage or something. By "something" I mean "archive his talkpage", 'cause it's really, really long. Even with broadband, it's so long that, by the time it's loaded, I've forgotten what I came here to say. I hope it was something nice. People don't say enough nice things, you know. Why, just last week I was at the movie theater and I told the man in the row in front of me that his bald spot was nice. Well, he just blew his stack right there, punched me in my belly and stormed out. That wasn't nice at all. It was kind of rude, now that I think about it. I only remarked on the niceness of his bald spot because it was perfectly round. I didn't have a circle of similar circumference for comparision, granted, but it was close enough. This talkpage is nice. A bit long, though. |
Thank you for choosing
The Red Pill
You've exhibited the capacity for the
divine truths of existence
(*even if you were originally just trying to shed some poundage before the big cruise).
The Folgers brand Folgers Corporation
thanks you for choosing
Folgers Crystals
Your commitment to quality confirms that you are definitely not a pussy.
| HEIL LJLEGO! | ||
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Thanks for voting FOR Nazi in VFH. It's good to know where your priorities lie /me steps back and calls the police. |
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| Thanks a Bundle | ||
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Thanks for voting for Mad TV. Not that it was stressing me out. What, me worry? |  Whoops. Wrong logo. |
 Mr. Kearsy |
You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!
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A tall, dark man pushes a note into your hand; it reads:
The man turns away, muttering he has an appointent with someone's mom... |
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 | For voting for OCRD, Big Brother thanks you! As a gift in return, have a pet Stalingrue. BB claims no liability if it bites off one of your fingers or three. |
REJOICE!
You have received the
Double-Douser's Award
for exemplary utilization of boiling, scorchingly hot water.
Why?:Pour Boiling Hot Water Down Your Trousers?
the most strongly favored article in Uncyclopedia history!
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The Led Balloon has awarded you a piece of Floridian swampland. They're goin' quick! |
| PS: You get this for voting on that UnNews thing I made. Thanks for putting up with my excessive Votewhoring. Stay dry now! |
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Thanks for the vote!
For showing the good taste/pity to vote for Old McDonald on VFH, 15Mickey20 would like to reward you with a chicken! He hopes you find many uses for this gift. |
Thank you for your help in the capture of
Mumulla Abdula Krall
Your vote has aided the US Government in it's ongoing fight against granny terror.
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Gert5 has awarded you floppy cake! Floppies are easy to transparentize, as they are square. |
 Now you can bash your head against a brick wall safely and in style! |
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Peace, love and Far OUT! Prettiestpretty appreciates your vote for the |
| Here's Bipolar Bears Rule!! |
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You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!
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Auspicious Blessings Upon You! Ceridwyn gifts you this Lucky Bell of the Peaceful Dragon
May your data chi bring you wealth and luck! |
You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!
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Bile Sluggish? Can't Fight the Feelin' Anymore? Prettiestpretty thanks for your vote on VFH |
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The Led Balloon has awarded you a bowl of Satan's famous potato salad. Who'd have thought he'd be such a good cook? |
| PS: You get this for voting on 667:Neighbor of The Beast. Now go and "be more like that Satan". |
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The International Stackers Association of America thanks you for your continued support of CUP STACKING!
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Thank you for choosing the Bow tie You are now more attractive, more intelligent, and more popular in school. |
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Phffft! Prettiestpretty thanks for your vote on VFH |
You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!
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BIG MOTHER AND BIG FATHER ARE WATCHING YOU! Though it's cold and lonely in the deep, dark night They can see a Pair of Dice by the Dashboard Light |
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 | Big Brother joins the entire Church of Christ, Scientist in thanking you for voting for Atomic Mass. May your blessings be multiplied in kind. And may your hairstyle always be more spectacular than that of J. Robert Oppenheimer. |
I thank you humbly for the opportunity to impose myself upon the tiny box marked Today's featured article. My own little box in this dark corner of the interweb. My welcoming visage, greeting all who visit this cartoonish funhouse of crazy people. The depravity, flowing like gravy down the chin of a senator. This is my honor.
Much appreciated, you bastard.
Yours always,
Duke
(dictated but not read. Transcripted by your pal, THINKER 04:33, 8 August 2007 (UTC).)
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The Led Balloon has awarded you a shiny new Humvee. You may wanna, uh, keep an eye on that, ya know? Just park it in the garage for a few nights, ok? |
| Thanks for voting, and remember, don't let yourself be brainwashed by the Eco-Nazis! |
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The Led Balloon has awarded you a handy pamphlet, so that you will always remember how to check for lumps. |
| Thanks for voting on my article, and giving me TWO FEATURES IN A ROW! Also: beware the deadly lumps! |
You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!
You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!
You voted for Why?:Remove Your Penis on VFH, and it got featured!! As a token of our humble appreciation, you receive 75% off your next Penis Removal!
Come see us sometime, the doctor would love to
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Necropaxx hath awarded thee a wedge of Holy Cheese!!!!! |
| PS: Thanks for voting on Holy Cheese on VFH. |
You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!
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Thekillerfroggy and Doctor Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Skullthumper would like for donating to the Throws and Downs Club of America. So keep your pillows held up in your room, lock your liquor cabinet, and alert the local authorities of possible pillboxes. Only you can prevent pillow fighting! |
You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!
He also advises you to check your eyes in the mirror, just in case they may happen to be bloody, blind, or a combination of the two. Seek immediate medical attention if any of those symptoms appear.
You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!
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The UnIdiot wishes to acknowledge you for voting for UnNews:Iran to invade Iran, and hopes that you support Iran's plan to invade Iran. |
| The UnIdiot also appreciates you putting up with his persistent whoring! |
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The Led Balloon thanks you for voting on that UnNews... the one about that guy... Oh, what's his name again? |
| Ah well, it's not important. Thanks for voting! |
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The UnIdiot has chosen to give you an AK-47 as thanks for voting on HowTo:Be safe with guns, and hopes that you will remember to be safe with your shiny new rifle. Don't shoot your eye out! |
| The UnIdiot also appreciates you putting up with his incredible amounts of whoring! |
 For voting for Books never written! Cainad thinks you deserve no less than a beige, green-bordered thank-you note for your support. So that is what you get. Seriously though, thanks. Leaving the article un-featured as a gimmick seemed... silly. |
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Aaawww... THE/awardxs has been diagnosed with cancer. gallbladder cancer. Yeah. Incurable. |
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The Led Balloon has awarded with the gift of sciencey knowledge, because he can already tell that you are smarter than that asshat judge was. |
| Thanks for voting, and remember, |
For voting yes on the Society for the Intervention and Rehabilitation of Supervillains. SIRS would like to remind all drinkers of Vila-Cola that the product has tested negative for mind-controlling agents and is perfectly safe to drink. Make sure to check out all the other fine products former villains have to offer, and vote for Lex Luthor in the upcoming 2008 presidential election.
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On behalf of Prettiestpretty Mrs. Edwin Standish of Shaker Heights Ohio Wife, mother and Daughter of the American Revolution appreciates your good works and attention to detail. Graciously yours, Mrs. Edwin Standish |
 You voted... |
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MrN9000 has awarded you with this rather nicely coloured boxy thing to thank you for voting and helping to get The Color Problem featured on the front page. |
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| *Please do not mention the colour/color problem. It's not an issue. Really. |
| A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.... It is a period of Galactic unrest. Star Wars was nominated for VFH, but nearly failed, thanks to the efforts of the evil lord Darth Vader. However, during the nomination, Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, he races home aboard his starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save his people and restore freedom to the galaxy... | |
| I can't believe it finally got featured, either. Thanks for voting! |
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 Oh Hell No. LOCK THE WINDOWS AND BOLT THE DOORS, SOME HORNY BASTARD IS COMING TO RAPE YOU! |
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| I KNOW IT DOESN'T SOUND SERIOUS NOW, BUT JUST WAIT TILL YOU'RE ON THE BUSINESS END OF THAT HORN |
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On behalf of Prettiestpretty, Mrs. Edwin Standish of Shaker Heights Ohio Wife, mother and Daughter of the American Revolution appreciates your vote for Why?:Have Humongous Breasts Appreciatively and with warmest regards, Mrs. Edwin Standish |
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The Led Balloon thanks you for helping him to spread awareness of the plight of Ogle. |
| Beware the white stuff! |
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GopherKiller has given you a free ticket to ride Superman Tower of Bloody Severed Legs for voting on UnNews:Six Flags to sell severed legs in gift shop. |
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| You have been emphatically thanked for voting for EPIC FAIL! on VFH. | |
| Due to the nature of the article, your thanks | |
| template has been stolen from the template | |
| that tells people a user has been infinibanned. | |
| EPIC FAIL! |