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BENSON'S FEATURED BENSON
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“Holy crap he's cool! I hope I can grow up to be just like him.”
“NEVER! THERE IS ONLY ONE BENSON!”
Benson has decided that Benson's pure greatness can, in fact, be contained on a puny "userpage" (just barely). Furthermore anyone who edits this page besides Benson himself shall be cursed with the curse of Benson... a fine curse indeed.
Bio
One day a woman was giving birth to a baby. A baby destined for greatness. That is when Benson came to Earth in a meteorite which crashed into the hospital where the baby was being born. Benson aimed for the hospital... HAHAHA! Let that teach you a lesson: nobody is born on the same day Benson is.
(CONTINUED...)
RECENTLY FEATURED: BENSON WARNS OF FAKE BENSON! - BENSON FOR ADMIN - BENSON NEEDS SUPPORTERS. - BENSON IS INFINITY - BENSON IS HERE
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BENSON KNEW...
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- ...THAT BENSON IS BETTER THAN YOU!
- ...THAT BENSON IS HERE!
- ...THAT REAL MEN USE CAP LOCKS!
- ...THAT EVERY USER THINKS BENSON IS COOL!
- ...THAT EVERY BOOK EVER IS ACTUALLY ABOUT BENSON!
- ...THAT BENSON AND BENSON ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE!
- ...THAT BENSON IS THE MOST LINKED TO ARTICLE ON THIS PAGE!
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BENSON NEWS
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ON BENSON'S DAY...
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AUGUST 24: BENSON DAY
- BENSON YEAR #1 - BENSON WAS HERE.
- BENSON YEAR #2 - THE IMPOSTER BENSON WAS HERE.
- BENSON YEAR #3 - THE TELEVISION SHOW BENSON PREMIERED WITH BENSON'S PERMISSION.
- BENSON YEAR #4 - BENSON CANCELLED THE SHOW BENSON BECAUSE HE FELT IT WAS UNFITTING TO HIS LEGACY.
- BENSON YEAR #5 - BENSON IS NOMINATED FOR BENSON OF THE MONTH, HE DISQUALIFIES ALL OTHER CONTESTANTS DUE TO PRINCIPLE.
- BENSON YEAR #6 - BENSON CREATES A NEW CALENDAR CALLED THE BENSON CALENDAR.
- BENSON YEAR #7 - BENSON BECOMES BORED WITH ANNIVERSARIES AND ORDERS THEM TO QUIT BEING WRITTEN.
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BENSON OF THE MONTH
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This month's Benson of the Month award was tightly contested, but BENSON won it in a photo finish. Benson says he hopes in the future to do charitable work with children and animals, both of whom may bask in his all-enveloping greatness. He likes Caps Lock keys, Samuel L. Jackson, and Pwning you. Turn-offs are fake Bensons, snakes, and those who don't respect his awesomeness.
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So picture this, right? You've got this guy, this Hardwick Fundlebuggy guy - nobody's ever heard of him, but he writes pretty good. This is the essential fact, this guy's raison d'être. It gets him in the papers. It pays the bills. It's not long before he gets noticed - I've seen it happen a hundred times - he gets noticed for something, something whiz-bang and eye-catching new, something like a Bouncy Castle with a candy-smooth finish and lighted marquee that screams look at me, I'm the new 800-pound gorilla on the street. Thing is and problem is, he's right and he knows he's right, so pretty soon he's pitching something else just on his name power, like a cookbook or The One That Got Away and Other Stories from the Tobago International Game Fishing Tournament. Then the press has a field day. They forget he ever wrote anything good. Right!
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VOTE FOR BENSON OF THE MONTH VOTE FOR BENSON FOR WRITER OF THE MONTH | VOTE FOR BENSON FOR NOOB OF THE MONTH | VOTE FOR BENSON FOR UNCYCLOPEDIAN OF THE MONTH | PAST WINNERS: BENSON 2005/2006
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PROTECTED BY BENSON, AND AN ELITE CLAN OF MINIONS.
