Forum:BENSON IS INFINITY

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IMAGINE A MILDLY RETARDED BIRD CARRYING A SINGLE GRAIN OF SAND FROM THE SAHARA DESERT TO MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN AND PLACING IT ON THE CAPS LOCK KEY OF A KEYBOARD. THE BIRD REPEATS THIS UNTIL THERE IS ENOUGH WEIGHT FROM THE SAND ON THE KEY THAT IT IS PRESSED. THE BIRD REPEATS THE SAME PROCESS FOR EACH OF THE LETTERS OF THE NAME "BENSON". THAT IS ONE TENTH OF ONE PERCENT OF HOW INFINITE BENSON IS. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 17:56, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

MORE LIKE ONE ONE-HUNDREDTH OF A PERCENT, DON'T YOU THINK? I MEAN BIRDS ARE GREAT AND ALL, AND SO IS SAND, BUT NOT NEARLY AS GREAT AS BENSON!   t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 17:59, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

SO THAT'S 0.01% THEN? ~ Ghelæ ^talk_contribs 18:00, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

You just blew my mind. - - Sir Real Hamster {talk} {contribs} 18:15, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

• Hey STM: Lay off the acid. --The Zombiebaron 19:38, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

STM isn't on acid. He's on a much more delicious, dangerous drug: Benson fumes. BENSON IS BETTER THAN YOU! Benson 20:36, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

Savethemooses is a drug. He's high on himself. --User:Nintendorulez 21:51, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

Believe it or not, Mooses has been reading his James Joyce.InfiniteMonkey 02:11, 8 June 2006 (UTC)

UPDATE: BENSON IS STILL INFINITY! IMAGINE A SMALL MEXICAN CHILD IN A BLINDFOLD TRYING TO BREAK A PINATA THE SIZE OF A HUMMINGBIRD. WHEN THE CHILD FINALLY BREAKS THE PINATA, A SINGLE TOOTSIE ROLL POP FALLS TO THE GROUND. NOW THE CHILD LICKS THE TOOTSIE ROLL POP UNTIL HE/SHE GETS TO THE CENTER. A VULTURE SWOOPS DOWN, TAKES HIS/HER REMAINING CANDY, AND FLIES TO PLUTO. THE VULTURE MUST, ON PLUTO, PITCH TO NOMAR GARCIAPARRA FOR AN ENTIRE AT-BAT. THE VULTURE THEN BURIES THE CANDY AT PLUTO'S CORE. THE PROCESS IS REPEATED UNTIL PLUTO IS SO STUFFED WITH CANDY THAT IT EXPLODES, WITH THE DEBRIS SPELLING OUT THE NAME "BENSON." THAT IS ONE MILLIONTH OF ONE PERCENT OF HOW INFINITE BENSON IS. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 16:34, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Heh. Benson is still infinity. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 23:14, 21 April 2007 (UTC)

Times two. --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 07:46, 22 April 2007 (UTC)

NO!

Imagine a tiny dung beetle strolling through the Serengeti plains, carrying a round ball of elephant dung in its hind claws. The beetle finds a hole in the ground, and drops the dung through. The dung falls through the hole, coating itself with sand along the way. When the sandy shit ball reaches the center of the Earth, the heat from the core transforms the sand into pure shining glass. The glass is then expelled in a violent cataclysmic eruption up through the hole once more, where the beetle yet remains, lamenting over its long-lost brown treasure. Suddenly, the beetle is propelled upwards along with the glass ball, where it pokes a hole through the ozone layer. When gravity overtakes it, the beetle falls back to earth, while the ball continues on in orbit. The beetle is then forced to repeat this again and again, until the ozone is thoroughly consumed, and a giant glass ring encases the Earth, causing the sun's rays to focus on the now unprotected planet, whereby all life is eliminated and the planet burns to a fiery crisp. Now imagine this happening all across the cosmos, on thousand upon thousands of other planets. That is one trillionth of one percent of how infinite Ouroboros is. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 16:09, 22 April 2007 (UTC)

You're lying. BENSON is infinity to the infinite power. In fact, I place a curse on you. BENSON is just slightly more infinite than how you and your "followers" make Ouroburos out to be. --Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 16:15, 22 April 2007 (UTC)

Pfffff, do you have a Bible to back those false claims up? No? We do, and we intend to exploit it to the fullest extent of evangelism. Take that, mothafucka. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 19:24, 22 April 2007 (UTC)

Er, yes we do:

The Chronicles of BENSON, Appendix C "And lo, He Who Acts Charitably Toward Animals DID proclaim, CORRECTLY I may add, that BENSON is unending. For to be finite is to have an end, and lo, that BENSON's forum topics seem interminable is PROOF of BENSON's infinity. And The One of Many Writings for Display did PRONOUNCE a long parable with much Imagery of great time and space, for the other Puny Monkies WERE incapable of visualizing the concept of infinity on their own. The thread of dialogue slipped into a slumber for many an age, and was forgotten, only to be Revived by its very author. Alas, even as the page arose from the underworld, it WAS beset by He With a Capital Z, Biotch, who DUD DID pilfer STM's words for his own ill ends. And it seemed for a moment this Historic Thread would fall as yet another Casualty to the Raging Flamewar that threatened to catch on the satin curtains of the BHOP and Burn it to the ground. But this wrong was righted by She of the Peculiar Lie as she, with a few swift, nonchalant words, diverted the river of discussion away from Gay Donut Land to the beautiful landscape of BENSONry. For sooth, The Menacing Whirler of Medieval Weapons DID place a curse on The Disbeliever, to Forever have his Pagan God be maddeningly Leapfrogged by BENSON's ever-growing infinity. And all Beheld once more that BENSON was surely many Orders of Magnitude more infinite than the time a worm would spend crushing Soda Pop into Diamond and shuttling it back and forth between York and New York more times than the number of all the stars in the heavens, were the worm not committed to doing so." In the name of the Holy BENSON, vanquish DiZ.

Alksub - VFH CM WA RV {talk} 19:51, 22 April 2007 (UTC)

NO!

Imagine, like, something happening for a bit. Then Benson's slightly more infinite than that. -- (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 16:19, 22 April 2007 (UTC)

Depends on what the thing happening was. Anything crap, yes. Anything even that tiniest smidgen above crap is more infinite than Benson. —– Sir Hv » | Talk | Contribs | KUN | UotM | RotM | VFH | Kidney | 22/04 20:14