Forum:Benson has left

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Note: This topic has been unedited for 6232 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.

On insults...

You probably reached this page looking for some proof that Col. Swordman doesn't do his mom.
Don't worry. We're looking too.

This is how a 5-year-old understands the word "insult":

  1. Make up a random sentence.
  2. Ask someone to prove the opposite.

Just let this viper have a taste of his own venom:

You probably reached this page looking for some proof that Benson is not Col.sowrdman's mom.
Don't worry. We're looking too.

C'mon, Benson. You are not really that lame, are you? Anyway, you really remind me of my years at primary school.

So you're saying BENSON is your mum?! --Uncyclon - Do we still link to BENSON? 22:46, 28 June 2006 (UTC)
Benson is Col. Swordman's mom... Benson is confused by you use of this fact as an insult. Benson 17:55, 9 July 2006 (UTC)

And the nonsense continues...

NOT EVEN SILLY CREEPY MONSTER MAN CAN MAKE BENSON LEAVE!

Benson has left

Prove it. --User:Nintendorulez 15:42, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

This confuses Benson... Benson 16:52, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

Does Benson have right as well?--Witt E, 17:02, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

Feh. Nothing shall make the glory that is Benson leave. --Hobelhouse 17:13, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

YES MORE PICTURES FOR BENSON'S USERPAGE! Benson 17:18, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

Don't say such things! You will scare the children!!! --Uncyclon - Do we still link to BENSON? 00:49, 13 June 2006 (UTC)

Say it ain't so! *declares three-day period of national mourning* -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 09:10, 13 June 2006 (UTC)

Benson has not left... Explaine this post or Benson will be angry. Benson 22:28, 13 June 2006 (UTC)

Angry? I'm sooooooooo scared... Hahaha!!!! -- Colonel Swordman 16:30, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

Benson would like to say that Colonel Swordman (if that is his real name) is neither a Colonel nor a swordman. In fact here is a picture of Colonel Swordman.

Colonel Swordman who is, coincidentally, neither a Colonel nor a swordman. Note the 50 year old cell phone, used to call his 50 year old friends.

Benson 23:51, 16 June 2006 (UTC)

Benson, picturing himself a woman with melons oranges.


“Uncyclopedia: what a website! Even a transvestite has his own forum!”

~ Yakov Smirnoff on Uncyclopedia

Speaking of pictures, here's a picture of Benson's - the ultimate God of the transgender. (What can I say - a crown, a Darth Vader helmet, two oranges and a pair of shorts - do I have to state the obvious?)

-- Colonel Swordman 18:06, 17 June 2006 (UTC)

What Benson is wondering is why does the Colonel have pictures of topless transgendered people on his computer? Nobody laugh at the Colonel. A lot of people are into that sort of thing... actually no, nobody is but the Colonel. Benson 23:40, 17 June 2006 (UTC)

I don't know what the rest of the world has got to offer, but heck - it's Benson we are talking about here, alright? That's different! Since Benson is so diligent in posting his stuff everywhere, why do I need to go into the trouble of looking into my computer, knowing the fact that I don't even stock that sort of garbage? By the way, of course, no one is laughing at anyone or anything here, as the horrific image of Benson's cross-dressing would even cause a transvestite to projectile vomit. I am actually risking being banned for posting such ED-quality stuff in VD, but again, it's Benson we are talking about here, and that's different! -- Colonel Swordman 01:16, 18 June 2006 (UTC)

So you want to feel different? Special? You and your pittiful ideas like 'grammar' 'spelling' you am not any cool. you no understand the great BENSON? has Benson proven his point yet? Benson 18:29, 18 June 2006 (UTC)

Great what? Once people get tired of you, you will be just like those trashy, fake Oscar Wilde quotes - in the bin you will go! So, enjoy your stay! -- Colonel Swordman 18:44, 19 June 2006 (UTC)

Seriusly whats your problem? Are you so petty that you must pick apart people's dreams? Get a life or start worshiping Benson! Benson 19:55, 19 June 2006 (UTC)

"Are you so petty that you must pick apart people's dreams?" <-- Hey, that's my duty here, so don't complain! -- Colonel Swordman 20:02, 19 June 2006 (UTC)
First of all, "duty"... heeheehee. Secondly,
Colonel Swordman, who smells like he humps his mom, and does.
Benson 12:12, 20 June 2006 (UTC)
First of all, "duty"... heeheehee. Secondly, [[image:swordman.jpg|thumb|Colonel Swordman, who smells like he humps his mom, and does.]]

There are a few things I would like to clarify:

  1. Learn how to use the damned Wiki markups, Benson! Making mon jokes is just bad enough. Not formatting you jokes properly is even worse.
  2. Yes, I mean "duty". Do you have any problem with that?
  3. I didn't "pick apart" your dreams - you did. By complaining like that you have pretty much shown the whole world how stupid and pathetic you are. Am I supposed to worship a lame, mom-joke making whiner, who has contributed nothing to Uncyc except his shameless acts of vandalism and tons of inane forum pages? You have never earned any respect from anyone. Give me a break.
  4. Do I have to say more than that?

-- Colonel Swordman 12:36, 22 June 2006 (UTC)

Now it's Benson's turn to make a numbered list of sentences:

  1. Learn how to spell. "mon jokes"? Puh-leaze. Am I right everybody?!
  2. Yes, I do have a problem with you using the word duty. It is not your duty because you are not expected to do this - THIS IS NOT A JOB. YOU JUST HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO, just like Benson.
  3. Benson is neither stupid nor pathetic. You are confusing Benson with your computer (your only true friend).
  4. Benson doesn't make mom jokes. Benson's previous statement is a fact. If you can provide some concrete proof that you do not get "down and freaky" with your "mama", then Benson will retract his statement.
  5. Col. Swordman is a loser. Furthermore, his hand gets more action than he does (if you know what I mean). In conclusion, he is a cock nugget.

Benson 19:01, 22 June 2006 (UTC)

know wat benson? ur just a ass. a stupid ass.

-- Colonel Swordman 12:36, 22 June 2006 (UTC)

Wow. Even Benson is surprised by the Colonel's blatant lack of spelling, crappy grammar, and lame insults. Try harder next time, Colonel. BENSON IS VICTORIOUS! Benson 20:32, 22 June 2006 (UTC)

Wait a second, you aren't the creepy weird Col. that we hate to hate! That's an imposter Col.! Nobody listen to the imposter! Benson knows what it's like to have an imposter. Benson 20:54, 22 June 2006 (UTC)


Hmmm... Flamewar!

C'mon, Benson! Numbered sentences? If you are really better than me, then why are you imitating me? It looks like Beson the two-bit troll has run out of ammunition. Don't worry, man! I have got lots and lots of bullets for ya:

  • Learn how to spell. "mon jokes"? Puh-leaze. Am I right everybody?!
  • Nice work, Benson! Would you like to take over his job?
  • Yes, I do have a problem with you using the word duty. It is not your duty because you are not expected to do this - THIS IS NOT A JOB. YOU JUST HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO, just like Benson.
  • No, it is not a job - it is an UnJob, and I get paid with UnMoney for my hard work. By the way, I am glad that you admit you have nothing better to do than trolling Uncyc.
  • Benson is neither stupid nor pathetic. You are confusing Benson with your computer (your only true friend).
  • The above statement is absolutely true... if we put aside the fact that Benson has delusively confused the reality with his own fantasies.
  • Benson doesn't make mom jokes. Benson's previous statement is a fact. If you can provide some concrete proof that you do not get "down and freaky" with your "mama", then Benson will retract his statement.
  • Since your statement is such a solid fact, I seriously invite you to put it on our TFAODP page, just for the benefit of mankind.
  • Col. Swordman is a loser. Furthermore, his hand gets more action than he does (if you know what I mean). In conclusion, he is a cock nugget.
  • So, are you trying to get this forum featured?

-- Colonel Swordman 06:53, 23 June 2006 (UTC), trolling the trolls since... when?

Firstly, if Benson is imitating you with the numbered sentences, weren't you imitating Benson by adding the picture? Hmmm? Chew on that, Colonel. Secondly, "* Col. Swordman is a loser. Furthermore, his hand gets more action than he does (if you know what I mean). In conclusion, he is a cock nugget. :* So, are you trying to get this forum featured? -- Colonel Swordman 06:53, 23 June 2006 (UTC), trolling the trolls since... when?". Was that the best comeback you have? HA! Thirdly, Benson would like the job of the spell-check bot. In conclusion, you don't have anything better to do, your only friend is your computer (not one of Benson's fantasies. In Benson's fantasies, everyone dies), and I'm not seeing any proof that you don't get nasty with your mom. Benson 15:48, 23 June 2006 (UTC)

  • Firstly, if Benson is imitating you with the numbered sentences, weren't you imitating Benson by adding the picture? Hmmm? Chew on that, Colonel.
  • Oh! so that's what you call "imitation". Well, did I upload that pic? That's one thing. Plus, was the pic I used the same you had got? Hello? Not even the descriptions at all were the same. If you want to claim victory on this then you really have to grow smarter first of all.
  • Was that the best comeback you have?
  • What did you expect? 10 naked women (or perhaps men since we are talking about Benson here) dancing all over the page? Please, give me a break!
  • In conclusion, you don't have anything better to do, your only friend is your computer (not one of Benson's fantasies. In Benson's fantasies, everyone dies)
  • This is obviously untrue because Benson's fantasies include nothing but that humans puny monkeys can be friends with computers and lifeless machines alike.
  • ... and I'm not seeing any proof that you don't get nasty with your mom.
  • How about you show me some "proof" first that...
  1. ... you didn't defecate in the public (not toliet - just wild open, with the presence of random passers-by)?
  2. ... you didn't walk into a kindergarten full of kids without wearing any pants.
  3. ... you didn't rape a 12-year-old boy and murder him?
  4. ... you didn't sell weapon-grade uranium to al-Qaeda?
  5. ... you didn't attempt to murder the president of the United States of America?
  6. ... you didn't contribute to the recent riots in East Timor?
  7. ... you didn't incite any militants to commit genocide in Sudan?
  8. ... you didn't kill any Kuwaitis prior to the Persian Gulf War?
  • Look! If you want to carry on with that lame style of insult, then go ahead but keep in mind that at the end, you will only make yourself look very, very, stupid. Anyway, despite my busy schedule I will keep dropping by every now and then and see if you have achieved any new low in your life.

--Colonel Swordman 17:29, 28 June 2006 (UTC)

Forum:Col. Swordman! Let's end this now!

Benson knows that the Col. has read this, but is too much of a wimp to admit he read it, and is too stubborn to give up. Benson 17:55, 9 July 2006 (UTC)

Hello? Someone is talking again...
  1. Am I supposed to take this as a real arguement or some sort of inane rants with random quotation marks here and there? Did you forget the fact that every single one of my earlier posts is still here? (1, 2) Or did you simply forget althogether the fact that I am not here to pay tribute, as many here did, but to beat you to the very ground?
  2. There is no logic in your reason but your own wishful thinking. Like I said, I'm not here to pay tribute, or to "continue this 'joke'", but to give you as many "hippo's testicles" as possible and make you look just as retarded as you really are. Last time I slaughtered a troll was around a year ago in a newgroup somewhere, and this year I have the privilege of being here killing yet another one. So, are you ready to answer my eight questions, or do you want this m_____f______ "cock nugget" to give you more... *deep breath* ..."action"? -- Colonel Swordman 21:13, 9 July 2006 (UTC)
Look guys, if you want to give each other "action" you'll have to get a private room. We don't want to scare the newbies. —rc (t) 22:04, 9 July 2006 (UTC)
Haha, nice one. --User:Nintendorulez 13:09, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
Forum:Col. Swordman! Let's end this now! Everybody knows the Col. read this. Just give up, Col.
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