From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search down.

Gunpowder (also jokingly known through horrible chemistry jokes as "Gun Control"[1]) is a powder mix made by taking flammable rocks and crushing them with a beater. The gunpowder is then placed within the firing arm(s) of choice; then things go boom-boom!

Origin of Gunpowder[edit]

The origin of gunpowder, or anciently known as boom dust, is a not entirely certain. This lethal powder that makes Michael Bay films what they are could be credited as far back as the BC. It's possible, because if cavemen discovered fire, what prevents them from discovering gunpowder?

However, like most discoveries, gunpowder originality is strongly accepted as a result of an accident. One theory suggests that gunpowder was first introduced into mankind history when a Stone Age stoner accidentally combined the ingredients to this explosion causing dust during an attempt to form the first cocaine supplement.

This theory is declined by many, however. Many claim "if it was that early, we'd be all dead. Cavemen would destroy the world.[2]



As early as the mid-first century AD, the Chinese were already using saltpeter and sulfur in order to make certain medicines and drugs. In ancient texts, it has been confirmed that the Chinese were playing with fire and maliciously purifying saltpeter. In order to make even more drugs, in which the Chinese would deal.


For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Gunpowder.

An ancient text from the 9th century states; "Some have been playing with the mixture. Explosion happened. DEATH EVERYWHERE."[3]

The Chinese word for "gunpowder" is Chinese: 火药/火藥; Pinyin: Di zun wen buem he pin. Which illogically means "Fire Medicine. Not to eat." However, this only came into play a a couple centuries ago.

In the early 9th century AD, Taoist monks and scientists accidentally made the first batch of Chinese boom mix after crushing random shit together in order to make an "elixir for immortality". Instantly, the crazy Chinese monks and scientists started inserted these into their tools of war. Explosions happened shortly after.


But when India does get gunpowder...

In India, the earliest known usage of gunpowder was probably between the 1300s and the 2000s. Because, logic. The first documented murder (out of all the murders in India) was in 1400 AD when Anad Ghandak shot down a school teacher, Ir Lozhik. This was one of the first school shootings, and probably the oldest in India.

Since then, most school shootings weren't really done with guns, gunpowder supplies were barely obtainable in India; thus the usage of poison darts boomed in India.

Instead of using gunpowder and playing with guns, Indian children ride elephants for fun.[4]

Middle East[edit]

When the Arabs got control of gunpowder and used it to make fire arms, things got out of hand. Muslims soon would start using gunpowder to make explosives in around 1500ish and started Terrorism. George W. Bush started the United States' effort to stop this with the War on Terrorism.

Without gunpowder, it is possible that the September 11th attacks would never have happened. One might go as far as to saying "Gunpowder did WTC".


Just what we needed.

One dominant force in the Asian civilizations that used gunpowder was none other than the Japanese samurais. Even though this sounds bad, it isn't. Guns helped stopped the samurais from living. Even though samurai daimyos in the 1500s and 1600s such as Date Masamune used matchlocks, it didn't really stop anything.

When the Gatling gun was introduced to the Japanese samurais, they went ballistic. Soon, Japan was covered in a hot and fresh new coat of red. Also, the coating was very shiny.

Other places[edit]

Other places ended up using gunpowder and guns in combat, also. You can say almost every single country uses and/or used gunpowder in their guns and stuff. A few other examples of gunpowder can be found in the Civil War. They used gunpowder in their cannons and guns in that point of American history.

Types of gunpowder[edit]

  • Black powder
  • Yellow powder
  • Crack powder
  • Brown powder
  • Very big boom powder


  1. Even though Obama recently killed this joke.
  2. They would, too.
  3. Book of Explosion Happening: Chapter 4 - Some Mixture "有些人一直在玩的混合物。爆炸发生。死亡无处不在"
  4. Fox News "Indian Boys On Streets Riding Elephants, Say No To Shooting Guns"

See also[edit]

  All About Firearms             
AK-47 - AKM - Ammunition - Anti aircraft gun - Bananas - Bullets - Gunpowder - Guns 'n Roses - Handgun - Helium - Kidney Stone Gun - List of weapons that don't exist, but should - M16 - Machine gun - Raygun - Rifle - Staple gun - Staples