User:Isra1337/Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

About Uncyclopedia · Categories · Alphabetical Index · How to edit · Help

Welcome to Uncyclopedia

the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit
                                                       
 

Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five.
Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent | Best of

Today's featured picture
Hand Grenade

The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you.

Photo credit: Mosquitopsu
Archive - Nominate new image

Today's featured article
Deckchair01.jpg

Good evening crew of the RMS Titanic. My name is Scuttlebutt, Sidney Scuttlebutt. I am the head of the exterior furniture section on this ship. My job is to provide deckchairs for the comfort of all First Class and Second Class passengers. Third Class passengers are not entitled to deckchairs so you will not need to show them how they work.

This may be the Titanic's maiden voyage but I am already a professional at the art of deckchair maintenance as I have worked on the Titanic's sister ship RMS Olympic. I believe a carefully prepared deckchair with the option of a blanket and cushion is essential if travellers want to take in the cold April air of 1912. So I will now demonstrate what we do.

What was that? You want to know more about the lifeboats? We can talk about that tomorrow. Those boats are to rescue people at sea, not the people here as this ship is unsinkable, made of steel that is light enough to float. There is no need to be worried. For those who really want to learn more about lifeboats, I understand Captain Smith will be holding a class tomorrow. (Full article...)

Did you know...
Henryhigh.jpg
  • ... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord?
  • ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
  • ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
  • ... that you've just lost the game?
  • ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
  • ... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once?
  • ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
Einsteinporn.jpg
  • ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
  • ... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
  • ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
  • ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
  • ... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?
  • ... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content?
  • ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
Word of the Day
puss
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
Recent News
Iran hits Tel Aviv.jpg


On this day...
How irrational.

March 14: American π Day

  • 27 AD - Greeks fight valiantly against Russell Crowe in a vast gladiatorial event to define π as the ratio of the circumference of a circle divided by its radius.
  • 435 AD - Pope Sixtus III denouces π, claiming it to be the work of Satan, as a number which never ends seems too cruel for a loving God to have made.
  • 1603 - "American" Apple pie actually invented by the Aztecs, used as aphrodisiac.
  • 1707 - The Physics Act of 1707 defines π to be 22/7, which scientists of the era proclaim as close enough.
  • 1891 - The pie chart is first invented, sadly, the original prototype has long since been eaten. Future pie charts are now inedible.
  • 2004 - The day Krabs fries
  • 2005 - The Kansas Board of Education restores pi to its traditional value of three and a bit, stating, "Certain features of the universe are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as mathematics."
  • 2020 - A resident of New York City passes away after contracting the π virus.
Recent Articles


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...


Writer and Noob of the Month
Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,965 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Klingon!:
United States
Uncyclopedia
English
United States
40,965
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
50785
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
19194
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
Wikia 17766
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
Wikia 14423
Italy
France
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
Wikia 8936
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
Wikia 12400
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
6417
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
Wikia 6330
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7300
Finland
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.



For nonsense related IRC chat, see this instructional video.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.