User:Mr-ex777/Worst Article Ever 1 (VFD due to faggotry)
“The nethermost articles are not for the fathoming of eyes that see; for their badness is strange and terrific. Cursed the article where dead memes live new and oddly bodied, and evil the crap that is huffed by no admin. Wisely did Ibn Schacabao say, that happy is the encyclopedia where no vandal hath registered, and happy the town at night whose vandals are all banned. For it is of old rumour that the soul of the devil-bought hastes not from this parody wiki, but fats and instructs the very user that posts; till out of corruption horrid articles springs, and the dull vandals of Uncyclopedia wax crafty to vex it and posts one-liners to plague it. Great dung secretly is featured where Euroipods ought to suffice, and articles have been kept that ought to be huffed.”
Yay, this is my first time on Uncyclopedia, one of the best hilarious sites in the world. I think I'll eat some waffles to celebrate! Now what should I do? Hmmm...... I know! I'll make an new article. It will be the best article in the world!
One day i waz walking into a medow, and saw a butterfly. Yeah! Oh oh, a squirrel! I ate it, hahaha. it waz good. So was yoUr mom.
Wait, I need a picture for my article. Let see, ooh, this one has a tough guy in its, now my article is awesome!
Anyways, I saw Chuck Norris he waz roundhouse kickings Rocky Balboa, and i saw Mr.T saying I pitied the fool. Hahahahahahahahaha i like pie i like pie. Pity that fool who does not liek teh pie!!! I also did your face,and a say Lady Gaga's dng dong. shes n0t a gurl, shes a transexual, so waz yoUr moma ag1an. I lik epie i like pie ilike pie i like pie, i like PIe
The number of peoplez Chuck Norris has roundhouse kikced:
While I was walking through the meadow I went poop, it was amazing i is the best pooper in the world. me poop was twice as big as a elefant ding dong. and it waz goee and stinky and, oh it taste gooooood. I ate it, yumk yum yum, fresh poopoo is the best f00d in the world! pooopoopoopoopoopoopoopoopoo. so is peepee! this is a true story.
I went to Wal-Mart to buy me Naruto cards to play with. I love Naruto!, Its the best. Pokemon sucks, its like drugs, it is for devil worshippers.
Yugioh for the win. Bam!
HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD IS TALENTED
i hat3 gurls
Gurls suck. cause they dont has ding dong. i haves a huge ding dong, gurls should die or stayu in kicthen and makes sandwhitches. i hate gurls all they doez is play barbies, wear tampons, talk about boyz and goez to mall and strip to getz moneyz and bitch and scream. i hate gurls. They all wants to date me.
Also, black people should goes to he11 so should jews cause i hate jews and they need to die.
i love hitler he's so cool!
Oh and this should be left blank --> Special:Random 188.8.131.52 02:51, September 12, 2007 (UTC)
LOL that thing is funny it takes you to random pages-CAPTAIN OVBIOUS
Here my ding dong see?
Black Forest ham was invented in 999999999999 B.C. when Princess Peach farted it out of her ass!!!!! As you already know, Princess Peach as the ability to poop out lotsa spagetti from her ass, and queef out spagetti sauce and meat balls (which are really malformed fetuses) from her cunt.She got this power from giving a wizard a blow job, as she needed to make food for Mario, but actual cooking was beneith her royal dignaty.
One day, while she was squatting over a pasta bowl, trying to shit out spagetti from her [ass]], she farted as she was very constipated, and her fart solidified into a pork-like product. "What the fuck is this shit!" exclaimed Mario. "Its not shit, its a solid fart!" exclaimed Luigi. "
"Stop your bitching and eat it!" exclaimed Princes Peach. "Get of my cloud! Bitch!" shouted Mario, as she pushed Princess Peach on the cloud she happened to be on. She fell for hours or something. But she flew back up, since she can fly or something. "What the fuck bitches!" exclaimed Mario, "We've been waiting for hours for you to shit out some sphageti from your asshole." "Well, I cant, said Princes Peach, "I ate too much cheese, so I'm constipated."
"What the fuck!" exclaimed Luigi. "You shit something better our of your niggerish ass!" said Princess Peach. "Ok then," said Mario as he toook a hugge shit on the table, exclaiming, "All toasters toast toast, bitches!" "WHAT TEH FUCK niggerz!" shouted Luigi in disgust. I'ma gonna eat a fucking magic balloon."
Luigi thought about eating a magic balloon, but decided to turn himself into an hermaphrodite by the use of magic ballons, a bagel, and losta spaghetti. He then renamed himself "Mama Luigi" and shoved his PINGAS up his ass-vagina, while screeming "That's Mama Lugi to you, Mario!" He filled his ass-vagina with OVER 9000 microliters of CUM. Nine months later, he gave birth to Yoshi out of his butthole.
While he was pregnant, Mama Lugi made sweet sweet love unto Amerigo Vespucci, Anderson Cooper, Anne Hathaway, Bettie Page, Bob the Sperm, Brittany Hensel, Bruce Wayne, Charles DeGaulle, Charlie Kaufman, Chris Rock, and Christian Bale. Among others. When he had sex, Mama Luigi liked to screem, "And you gotta help us!", ""Over there!", and "And I found myself face to face... With a Fire Sumo!" He was very gay and liked it in the butt.
Miranda Cosgrove, a notable annoying actress with Down's syndrome as clearly seen in her Mongoloid features, was conceived when his soon-to-be mother, a short pasta-bastard named Mama Luigi, got obscenely drunk at a party. mama Luigi's friends then dared him to have sex with a retarded chimpanzee. They said it as a joke, but to their surprise and entertainment, Mama Luigi actually went through with it! Mama Luigi claims to have no memory of this event, since it is likely he was so intoxicated thatshe blacked out sometime during the sexual act, but films of the seduction show Mama Luigi cuddling up to the chimp, ruffling his hair, doing a few slick dance moves, and then offered himself up to him full-frontal.
The retarded chimpanzee has since claimed to have had absolutely no involvement in the conception. None whatsoever. He claims that he has never been to the Mushroom Kingdom, will never go to Mushroom Kingdom, and is completely unaware of the waltzing unicorn tattoo on Mama Luigi's left thigh. Friends of the retarded chimp stated that he would never be so negligent as to allow his son to be raised by Mama Luigi or any other member of that family.
Miranda Cosgrove's birth had to be handled very carefully to ensure the survival of a retard. The doctor, Dr Mario of course, entered the delivery room and said to Mama Luigi, "Okay now, let's see what going on down there." Mama Luigi responded in disgust to the doctor, saying "Ew! I am not going to show you, an old man, my wild, unshaven tight Italian butthole." Doctor Mario said, "Mama Luigi, your butthole is anything but tight", laughed out loud, and reminded him that he had fucked him last Summer. "Okay Doc, grab a peek." As soon as the doctor bent over to take a look, Mama Luigi's water broke, and he blew his junk all over the Dr. Mario's face! This was amusing to Mama Luigi, and Dr. Mario got a kick out of it too. Their shared laughter turned them both on, and they ripped off a quickie.
After Miranda Cosgrove birth, the doctor was stunned and said, "What the fuck is that!" Mama Luigi then said, "Hey, that is my retarded baby!" The doctor responded by saying, "No, I was talking about these huge red bumps all around your anus. I didn't see those last Summer. Did you fuck a chimpanzee or something?"
Before Mama Luigi could answer, Sarah Palin came storming into the delivery room insisting that she had just given birth to Trig. Mama Luigi was surprised and said, "Sarah Palin, if you just gave birth and I did not, then why is there this big gaping hole where my butthole is all stretched out?" "Mama Luigi, that's about par for the course, isn't it," responded Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin then grabbed the retarded baby, and went out to give a news conference to claim that she was Miranda Cosgrove's mother. She also announced that she was somewhat surprised that she was as retarded as herself and Todd, because "it usually skips a generation."
Mama Luigi then went on to abolish the Emancipation Proclamation. Upon its repeal, noted civil right's activist Jesse Jackson said, "Oh pleez don't beat me massa! You iz da bestest white person ever. Ow laudie laudie! I sure does love a bein a slave and pickin yo' cotton. That I does, that I does." Luigi then had sex with a Seven-butted Malaysian tree frog. However, he did not have sex with your mother in the kitchen last night.
And now for todays news: your mom was killed by ROFLcopters and clownfishes today LOL!!!
Some good and bad news: Earlier today, <insert name here>'s mom came walking home from Walmarts, and suddenly a swarm of ROFLcopters and a pair off clownfieshs flew up to her from a manhole and ripped her to pieces in broad daylight. A second grade school class and their teacher saw it happen and they couldn't stop laughing at the whole thing. Then Godzilla came and trampld them to death to hahahahaha sucks for them!!! And that was it for todays gfood news. The bad news? Your mom had forgotten to turn her TV off before she left!!! The morale: never forgot to turn your TV off, or ROFLcopters and clownfishes will find you and kill you!
Ta ADM1Nz BALEETED Ma Acc T0d4y cus Off Me trolling A p0kemon fantard. HE IS A DEVIL WORSHIPPER AND HE IS CALLED dudeofcoolness.plz, GO Troll his ass now, Loos3r!!!!11111
This article is GAY
This article is gay. it's is the worst article EVER it suxs. It gave me a ban!!!! because i didnt read some HTBFANJS page. Even though it wasnt my fault. i dot like it and niobody does because it's gay and stupid and ugly and retarted and fat. i wish it will gats huffedof uncyclopedia and goes to the moon or a gay retared place. it is GAY GAY GAY GAY!!!!! IT IS THE WORST ARTICLE EVER. IT IS SO BAD. I HOPE IT GET SOME VFD.
That time this article was nearly huffed by an admin during its sojourn in VFD
Dude, that fucking admin was mean. Like, WTF?
So there I was
writing the worst article ever, doing my one-liner thing with the preteen shit and penis jokes, right? Like, immature unfunny shit.
and this fucking admin
so I pulled out my
- One bright day in the middle of the night,
- Two banned in-jokers got up to fight.
- IP to IP they banned all the admins,
- posted some oneliners, and made silly grins.
- Then some English teacher gave them an F,
- but he was GAY and his name wasn't Jeff.
- If it is on the Internet it must be true,
- in Soviet Russia, in-jokes post YOU!!
LADY GAGA IS A SCRAY FUCKING WHORE!!!!!AND SHE HAZ A PENUS!!!!!!!!!! RUN!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The endz! lololololol
OMG! THE MUKIPS ARE OVER 9000! :O SOMEONE TELL OSCAR WILDE SO HE CAN FIRE HIS LAZER!
Ok time for pee review. I think I will jack off while I wait. Oh yeah. That feels good! I'm going to orgasm. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Oh no, I got semen all over the floor! better clean it up before mom gets home
wizard lizard did it
Wow! Its fucking magicil or something,
Yay, I got a pee review! Let see what it says. I hope its good.
|Humour:||1||Ok, I don't know what your problem is, but its obvious you didnt even put any thought in this. There's too many memes here! People's eyes will bleed out from reading this shit. By the way I love Pokemon, so this really insults me, and no one gives a shit about you liking Naruto and I think Yu Gi Oh sucks big elephant dick. And no I'm not 4 years old. And did you actually eat your own shit? That is soooo fucking disgusting! Also, the I hate girls part is so offensive to my girl friend and racism is a piece of dog shit, and why the hell do you love Hitler he killed a lot of innocent people. I think you need to be arrested for that. I hate racist Nazi assholes like you. Go die!
P.S.:oh,no! You are the one who trolled my deviantart account. YOU ARE MORE LIKE A FAILIURE THAN EVER.
|Concept:||1||What the hell is going through your damn mind, there was no concept. You epic fucking fail, majorly.|
|Prose and formatting:||1||Man are you 4 or something, cause you got too many spelling errors, and a entire section that just says lalalalalala. Thats gay!|
|Images:||1||The sup foo was stupid, and the only thin I like here is the Old man because he got so old for reading that damn lalalalala paragraph, and there was nothing else good here you dipshit.|
|Miscellaneous:||1||I nearly died out of randomness and stupidity, and NOT out of laughter|
|Final Score:||5||Honestly, this is the most horrible, sexist, racist, and poorly thought article anywhere on the face of this earth. You need to find another site to put crap like this. Please read the damn HTBFANJS and the beginners guide, and get a life while your at it (P.S., your a dick)|
Blah blah blah, now its time to put it on VFH
Its been three days, lets see what we have here. Huh, 20 against votes and 0 for votes.
The rest were too long so click here to view the rest
Hmph! They dont know true art. Hey whats this
- "Your article had been put through "QVFD" and was deleted because it was a piece of shit"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! My article! My precious article! IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!! THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!
cries, takes gun to head, and shoots himself
What the hell is this crap?
Listen to me you faggot shitheads. Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with you people. I just read this article and I couldn't believe my eyes on all the racist, sexist, homophobic and childish crap I saw. You actually find this crap to be funny? You inbread losers exemplifies all the things that are wrong with this world and I hate every last one of you. It's your fault that children are starving in Africa and that oil is pouring up from the ocean floor in the Mexican Gulf, killing birds and turtles. Jesus Christ, just die already. Seriously, when was the last time you went out to buy a cat? I guess it's easy to sit behind a monitor and make fun of your own insecurities because of funny people, but this article is about as bad as it gets. This is even worse than the second worst article there is.
Don't be a stranger. Just record everything I say and release it as a hit single on the UK Top 40 charts. I dare you. I'm pretty much perfect. My name is Anthony. I was bred by a secret governmental project to be the perfect human. I can do push-ups with both my hands tied behind my back by using only my breath. I was a captain in the Detroit Red Wings, the Chicago Bulls and Manchester United all at the same time while you faggots where busy sucking your mommas nipples and making up unfunny quotes. I have a whole harem of supermodels who just can't wait to have my babies. I have a better vacuum cleaner than you'll ever be able to afford (it just blew me and it was so cash). I get straight flushes all the time when I play poker (what games do you play, other than being eaten by grues all the time in that stupid Zork crap?), have an IQ like William James Sidis and finished at Harvard at the age of 16, became an astronaut at the age of 18 and solved the Grand Unified Theory at the age of 19, before you even learned how to spell "loser". I have reached the summit of Olympus Mons on Mars five times. What mountains have you climbed? Oh I forgot, you're too fat to climb mountains. You're also too retarded to write funny articles, because this one is absolutely dreadful. I hate every last one of you. You faggots should just do the world a favor and kill yourselves. You people are retarded.
Regards, Anthony. 184.108.40.206 17:40, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
FUCCKZZ THE ANTHONY!
FUCK ANTHONY!!! FUCK YOU FUCKEDY FUCKEDY FUCK!! YOUR MOTHER IS A FUCKING WHORE (JUST LIKE LADY GAGA)!!!!11111ONEONEONEONE!!! SO FUCK YOU! YOU FUCKING FUCK!!!!!111 YOU CAN SUCKZZ MY DICK!!! WITCH AS YOU KNOW...
IS DIS BIIIIIIG!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
anthony is a big fat fucking shit face. that is all.
I felt liike adding this
Final Fantasy 7 is da shitz, ff6 sx. kefka is stupidz sephiroth is teH awesomenss. ur all dickholes. go die. thats all i have to sayy ff7 rox!