A story voted one part at a time/story
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Story[edit | edit source]
There was once an OPOSSUM. The OPOSSUM planned to buttfuck Luna. But OPOSSUM didn't want this, so they decided to stop the OPOSSUM in his tracks. OPOSSUM didn’t want himself to butt fuck Luna because he was brainwashed by Luna. This upset Selaw Obmij greatly, because he was planning on illegally filming this buttfucking and upload it to porn sites for money. So, to get revenge, he decided to start posting wildly misogynist content to incel communities. He couldn't start posting wildly misogynist content to incel communities however, because he was eaten by a grue.
But OPOSSUM saw the grue eating Obmij, and felt like he needed to save him. So, to save Selaw Obmij from the inside of the grue, OPOSSUM decided to travel to Fairbanks, Alaska to torture himself into getting stronger. And so, OPOSSUM traveled to Fairbanks, only to be knocked unconscious by a shadowy figure. When he opened his eyes, he was tied in a chair, and in front of him was the penguins that were committing crime wars in your basement. The reason the penguins were committing crime wars in your basement was because what else is there to do in Fairbanks? Well, in Fairbanks you can take a seaplane to Ketchikan to meet Luna. So that's what the penguins did, but when they got to Ketchikan they saw a bunch of polar bears doing war crimes in your attic. When they saw the polar bears, the penguins decided to H. H, of course, meaning Homer Simpson.
But there was no Homer Simpson to be found, so the Penguins ended up reenacting 9/11 with their seaplane and the attic. But after doing that, they realized they had accidentally reenacted 9/11. Interestingly, the place where they reenacted 9/11 on was Encyclopædia Fenris. Coincidentally, OPOSSUM was near the Encyclopædia Fenris when its 9/11 happened, and after he had seen what happened, he decided to write a COMPLETELY UNBIASED entry in the Opossumopedia about the incident. The OPOSSUMopedia entry had the unfortunate result of summoning the Mormon Church building in Ketchikan (2900 5th avenue) to fall on OPOSSUM. This had the unfortunate result of making OPOSSUM Alaskan. Like any other ordinary Alaskan, OPOSSUM's Smash Bros. main was now Pichu. But one day, to OPOSSUM's surprise, the Pichu jumped out of his Nintendo Switch and electrocuted his dog. OPOSSUM didn't like that the Pichu electrocuted his dog so he tried to put the Pichu back in the Nintendo Switch only to find out that a wizard did it and H happened. When he found out that a wizard did it and H, he put on some moccasins. Wearing these moccasins made OPOSSUM feel great, so he then decided to put on another pair of moccasins. Realizing his feet no longer felt like they'd get frostbite from the Alaskan winter due to the double-pair of moccasins, OPOSSUM sewed some more moccasins into a sweater.
OPOSSUM now had enough warmth to survive one hour in the Alaskan winter. But he needed something else to keep him alive for longer, too. Luckily he found some fuel by the road, in the form of the Mormon Church building in Ketchikan. After converting the Mormon Church building in Ketchikan into fuel, OPOSSUM celebrated the end of the Ketchimormons by contacting an eldritch demon. The demon was none other than the one in the Uncyclopedia article about the Fourth Wall. However, OPOSSUM wasn't able to control this demon, so it went on to Option 5.
Option 5 was Option 5. The demon option 5'd its way through the remaining Mormon population of Ketchikan, causing them to morm themselves until they came. OPOSSUM saw all this, and decided to...
