Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/Press Room/17

Guess who's back

Me. But I've nothing to write about yet, so if you need me, I'll be in the break room fighting with the coffee machine. --EMC ^[TALK] 20:09 Mar 6 2010

Yo Bitchezzzzz

I'm gonna take part in this now. Sucki it. += 20:49,6March,2010

Next issue

I got nothing - unless you count stroking Ched's ego... Nominally Humane! some time 06:41, 9/03/2010

I never count Ched's ego. I got this one - although if anyone else has any suggestions, they're welcome. --UU - natter 09:12, Mar 9

How about stroking Ched's ego? • FreddCan Shredd • • • 10:09 • Tuesday, 9-03-2010

What you get up to in your own free time is no concern of mine. Or our readers. --UU - natter 10:11, Mar 9

Stroking his penis? Nah, I don't swing that way. • FreddCan Shredd • • • 10:16 • Tuesday, 9-03-2010

Not only that, age of consent laws apply... not that I'm keeping track of course. Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 10:59, Mar 9 2010 UTC

Maybe an ongoing series on VFS? ~ 11:01, March 9, 2010 (UTC)

Wait, who's stroking my what now? += 12:02,9March,2010

Anyone fancy delivering?

Looks like MrN's not about at the moment? Anyone bored enough (or in possession of a bot) and want to take care of this week's delivery? Issue is here, if you do. --UU - natter 21:46, Mar 25

I guess I can do it manually if you like. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:47, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

That's what she said. I think. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:47, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Chief, much obliged. --UU - natter 11:03, Mar 26

Next issue

The next issue, folks, is due to go out on April 1st. Anyone got any good ideas for this specific issue? --UU - natter 11:11, Mar 26

Obviously, an "Uncyclopedia is going to be shut down by lawyers" headline. Or "wikia servers attacked by terrorists, uncyc goes down for a month". • FreddCan Shredd • • • 11:15 • Friday, 26-03-2010

Too obvious. The less-obvious approach would be to not try and pull an April Fool's joke over on the community, which would be the joke because everybody would be expecting it. Or, we could just have a picture of somebody being hit in the face with a pie. --EMC ^[TALK] 11:20 Mar 26 2010

We have to do something april foolsy - the opportunity to have an UnNews on April first only comes around once every 2,600 days or so. I'm thinking VFS results in IP who wrote Dan Kwon as new sysop. Puppy Friday, 11:23, Mar 26 2010 UTC

That's not believable. It's hard to pull one over on people who write satire on April Fool's. They'll be expecting something. To actually prank somebody is to judge their capacity to suspect something is amiss. If you really want to do something April Fool's-y, then I'd suggest something like making a ban with the username template in the "From our logs:" section to make people think they were blocked for something. Having links which go to irrelevant pages, maybe doing a "You have new messages" template in the UnSignpost (for a day; take it off after April 1st), doing an insulting "Biopic of the Week" with the username template, that kind of shit. Nothing big and expected like an article about us shutting down or the reader's mom dying. --EMC ^[TALK] 11:34 Mar 26 2010

My idea

April Fool's Day

By Electrified mocha chinchilla

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S LOL

My other idea

April Fool's Day

By Electrified mocha chinchilla

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S LOL

That's all I got. --EMC ^[TALK] 11:28 Mar 26 2010

Delivery, anyone?

OK, after considering the above suggestions, we've gone with EMC's more subtle addition to From our Logs. Now, anyone out there with a bot or inordinate amounts of time want to handle this week's delivery? --UU - natter 12:55, Apr 1

Anyone? --UU - natter 21:16, Apr 1

Never again! And if I'd delivered it onto the end of a redirect, then it's the user's fault for not updating their mailing address. Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 04:52, Apr 2 2010 UTC

Thanks Puppy. I've done that a couple of times, and swore never again each time. Saps your soul slowly, doesn't it? --UU - natter 20:44, Apr 2

Anyone got a story?

OK, that's most of this week's issue sorted out, anyone got an idea for a main story? I'm sure I can throw something together at the last minute if I really need to, but I prefer not to have to really need to.

Also, I'll start asking early this time: anyone about who'll be able to help with tomorrow's delivery? (Preferably a bot owner). Anyone? --UU - natter 14:33, Apr 7

Return of the Multiliteralist? Also...the weird fantasy of UK Uncyclopedians wishing to meet each other in the fleshy first person. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:35, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

If it hasn't been delivered by 19:05 server time tomorrow by a bot owner, I'll deliver it. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:20, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Dex: cheers, that's awesome. Romartus: Multi already has plenty of coverage in this week's issue, and I'm not convinced the other suggestion would fit. Thanks for the suggestions though - anyone got anything else? --UU - natter 21:14, Apr 7

The fact that no English team made it to the semis? • FreddCan Shredd • • • 22:19 • Wednesday, 7-04-2010

Yesterday was independence day in countries that put the date the right way around (07/04/2010). I finally had an article put up for VFH that wasn't featured. The first 1000 digits of pi. Does the summit of spin want to use the first article to reflect how fluffy bunnies are destroying Uncyclopedia? (What the hell do other periodicals do with a slow news day? Can we plant drugs on an admin?) Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 22:24, Apr 7 2010 UTC

Well, it is my birthday today, though I don't see how a story could be written about that. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:29, 8 April 2010

Freddmoosha: Few things in life make me laugh more than seeing Man U get knocked out of a competition. Especially when Sir Alex Ferguson complains about opposition players pressuring the referee to send one of his players off - something his players have never done, of course. Oh, wait... --UU - natter 09:56, Apr 8

Delivery Please?

Rightyho, issue done and dusted, and here - anyone up for the delivery please? --UU - natter 09:56, Apr 8

Anybody with a bot want to deliver it? If not, I'll start delivering it in 30 minutes. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 18:56, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Well, I delivered the package. Now they're in for it. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:23, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

The neighbors are mad because you took longer than a bot. You better run.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 20:27, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

I got this bat. I can take 'em. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:28, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Awesome, thanks Dex! --UU - natter 12:55, Apr 9

As there's been nothing about me in the last two issues

I hate to bring this up again, but I'm stepping down as interim director of Imperial Colonization as of 17 April 2010, and so far no one has applied for the position of Admiral of the Fleet. Frankly, I still don't even know how a new head is chosen.

My question is, how is my replacement chosen? Is it an admin decision, does IC do it by vote, do I decide (although even if I could I'd do it with the consensus of colonizers)? -- Why do I need to provide this? 18:53, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

So maybe something along the lines of this:

NEW HEAD OF IMPERIAL COLONIZATION NEEDED

WHY??? has been exposed as an imposter. Long-claiming to have a Letter of Marque from Her Majesty giving him the right to be Imperial Colonization Buccaneer Admiral, the letter was discovered by (insert admin name here) to be a blatant forgery. "We became suspicious when we noticed the so-called letter was written in Italian in gold crayon on a pair of medium pink tights," said (insert admin name here). "As every loyal Uncyclopedian knows, Her Bountious Majesty has not fit her bodaciously curvy 5 ft. 8 1/2 inch form into tights that size since 1960 when she weighed 126 lbs. and was laced into corsets that gave her an 18-inch waist." Trial on the charge of treason is scheduled for Monday, 19 April 2010, while execution by walking the plank above a school of great white sharks is scheduled for Saturday, 17 April 2010. Applications for a replacement are being taken here.

http://www.lorenarchives.com/film_1960_heller_pink_thights.html

King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:34, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Hmm, maybe. --UU - natter 13:10, Apr 9

And by the way, the description of her size and the size of tights she could have worn in 1960 is authentic. I'm anal for accuracy. Especially when it comes to Sophia. Sigh. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:25, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

NEW POOPSMITH NEEDED

On a related note, perhaps we should include something about finding a replacement for Rabbi as my fellow poopsmith now that he's an admin. The usual procedure is that the resigning poopsmith selects his/her replacement then runs it by the admin. Then the replacement accepts (one can't resist the allure of the poopsmith position; it just sounds too sexy) and begins pooping the night away with me. A year or so later, that poopsmith becomes an admin and the process repeats itself. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:42, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

What's a poopsmith? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:57, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

It's just someone who likes colonoscopies. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:46, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Poopsmithing is a pain in the arse. Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 00:33, Apr 9 2010 UTC

I thought the usual situation was Mordillo picks someone and forces them to be poopsmith? That's what happened after I was opped anyway. I might run something about this, as it gives me the opportunity to further extend the running VFS joke we've been flogging into the ground recently. --UU - natter 13:06, Apr 9

Or I can just pickup someone and force him to be a poopsmith. You can mention that in that rag you call paper. Also, nearly weekend UU. Care for a pint? ~ 14:46, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

All right, I admit I honesty am ignorant. I really don't know what a "poopsmith" is. Could someone tell me, pretty please? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:28, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

Me, Syca, Rabbi, STM, MrN, a few others I think... That's the definition. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:43, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, so based on your response, a "poopsmith" is a user who won't give you a useful answer to your question. Now I get it. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:47, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

Yep. But we are a funny breed. You can read all about us in the next UnSignpost. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:55, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

HA! I saw your Super Secret note! Now I know what you are! BWHA HA HA! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:00, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

Charmin', you do the job for more than a year, and Dex forgets you completely. Why did I even bother, that's what I want to know. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Under user (talk • contribs)

Sign your posts, second UU. D.E.X. Bulshit, Ass, Bitch, Anal Cancer, Dick

NEW NACHLADER NEEDED

I, quite frankly, hate the way I am and will take care of this in the next room with some paracetamol and a razor. Replacements apply within. --nldr 22:50, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Have you a full job specification? Does it include supporting Portsmouth? Not sure you'll get many applicants if it does. --UU - natter 13:15, Apr 9

NEW SIGNATURE NEEDED

I haven't had a new sig in hours. I'm going to hold a competition to vote for the best possible sig. I'm judging, so I won't be able to enter, and I'll need a couple of other judges. Rules are that it has to follow the sig guidelines, and only one entry per user, and they have to be new, original sigs that relate back to the user's name somehow so anyone looking at it will say "of course, that's blah blah blah." The winner will get this shiny new template, and the adoration and admiration of the entire world. They will have the opportunity to become the president of Lyons for the day as well - assuming of course that they have a truckers vest they can wear and make it to Lyons themselves. Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 00:40, Apr 9 2010 UTC

I think you should use this sig: --Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!}. That would be so cool.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 01:09, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

I think we should challenge you to stick to one sig for at least 2 months. And the sig should be no more exciting than my first one: Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN. That'll learn yer! --UU - natter 13:15, Apr 9

Or make him use one like Led's D.E.X. Bulshit, Ass, Bitch, Anal Cancer, Dick. Cause it fuckin' sucks. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:43, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

NEW BANDWAGON NEEDED

Because. --UU - natter 13:15, Apr 9

Oi, how do i sign up to write for this shit?

What I said above ^ -- Sir SF13 (Talk) GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 22:14 EST 8 April, 2010

You wanna write? Cool - drop a story on this page, and if I think it fits, it'll go in. Simples. --UU - natter 13:09, Apr 9

Ok, how about this for April 15th? User:Skinfan13/sandbox/UnSignpost/April 15th 2010 -- Sir SF13 (Talk) GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 02:25 EST 10 April, 2010

Hmm. TBH I'm not sure: in the time I've been working on PEEING (a lot longer than ol' Chief), I've seen far longer queues. When I started reviewing back in the day, the queue was several pages long and growing. Since PEEING started work, it has tended to move in cycles a little, ebbing and flowing somewhat, but I'm not too worried about the state of it at present. So I think we'll leave a peeing ad aside until things get worryingly out of hand, if that's cool with you? Thanks for the suggestion though - how about doing a report on something happening around the wiki? The worrying proliferation of EugeneKay's glowing penis, for instance? --UU - natter 08:51, Apr 13

Not a bad idea, I've actually got some free time, I'll get on it -- Sir SF13 (Talk) GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 07:45 EST 13 April, 2010

same link as above, how about now UU? --SF13

Ah, now that's what I'm after. If you don't mind a minor editorial tweak or so (nothing major, promise!) that will do very nicely. Thanks SF! --UU - natter 21:50, Apr 13

You should write about stuff

... and junk. Try a nautical theme.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  09 Apr 2010 ~ 04:17 (UTC)

Delivery time

Yeah, anyone around with a bot or plenty of time on their hands? Issue is here, if so. --UU - natter 09:07, Apr 15

I have forgotten the horror of my last delivery so why not? --ChiefjusticeXBox360 20:14, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

Was it fun, Chiefy? I'm glad you did it before I got here. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:43, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

We have a serious problem here. The last few issues have been finished and delivered on time. What's up with that? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:39, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Chief. --UU - natter 13:47, Apr 16

Next ish

Anyone got any ideas? I've got one article tentatively pencilled in, but early ideas would be welcome.

And does anyone hanging around want to suggest (or, even better write) a biopic for next week? I'd like to bio some of the "newer kids" on the "block" of "Uncyc", but I'm too old, curmudgeonly and lazy to do a decent job. Anyone want to write a bio for someone decent who joined Uncyc this year? --UU - natter 13:24, Apr 16

has Hep been done yet? Cos I'll be happy to give him one.    Orian57    Talk   13:36 16 April 2010

Find out here. You kids today and your double entendres. When I was a lad, we had Sid James and his single entendres, and we liked it. --UU - natter 13:47, Apr 16

We've never done one of the true UU, you phony. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:07, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

We haven't done one for Why? yet, at least as far as I can tell from the list. So he may be one to consider. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 22:09, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

I've never gotten one. Even if it's not in the post, I'd intrigued to see a biopic of me, so you should do it, Onion.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 22:13, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

Let's biopic the more notable users (such as Flyingfeline or Heerenveen) first. And by more notable, I mean I just found out one seems to have returned and the other one is just a levitating cat. And they're both old. Real old. And they can wait till Why's is written. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:36, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

Or, you guys could just biopic <insert name here>.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 22:46, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

That's been done. Twice. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:50, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

Exactly.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 22:51, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

We've done a lot of older users, I want to acknowledge the presence of people who joined post-Famine, at least! Orian: take your best shot at it!

Also, perhaps an article on the returns of HV, Ljlego, and possibly others. And definitely an article on the Facebook group (which I won't be joining as I don't intend to ever make a Facebook) which was started. Specifics of that could be the surprisingly large number of females who are fans. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:38, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

Ljlego? He's a myth. A spook story that IPs tell their kids at night - vandalise penis, and Ljlego'll get ya! And no-one really believes. Facebook article is a good idea though. Anyone want to have a pop, or should I take it? --UU - natter 07:56, Apr 17

Dexter takes a crack at it.

DuckApple - Man Looking for Friends or an ED Reject?

By Dexter111344

In responce to a staving review of his site in mid-January, a man (woman?) by the name of Hakonn has once again professed his deep, dark desires to commit sexual acts with Uncyclopedia. He says in what I assume is a very erotic tone that he, "... will hit you with a stick nine times." So sexual. If I weren't a straight man, I'd be inclined to take his offer to beat-off every Uncyclopedian. Unfortunately, I like females. However, Uncyclopedia is filled with plenty of flaming homosexuals who would be happy to take his offer of a free handjob.

However, he did state is uneasiness at the prospect of sex with so many "immature" young men. Colin responded by saying, "nigguh wat u mean immature??? SHYT JUSS GOT REEL!!!" implying that he intends to commit various atrocities to Hakonn's sphincter. We at the UnSignpost suspect these acts will include Colin putting whip-cream around Hakonn's anal cavity and using a gerbil to eat it clean, followed by a horrendously painful ass-pounding, possibly while the gerbil is crawling inside Hakonn's lower intestine. Colin may finish it off by sealing Hakonn's diarrhea-hole off with a mold of EugeneKay's glorious penis, a patented Colin-finishing move.

If you wish to inquire Hakonn for sexual favours, you may leave him a message here. Everyone's favourite chinchilla already has. Don't you want to be just like a chinchilla?

---

Eh? The guy does need to get some traffick to his site. I feel it our duty to deliver it, fast and swiftly. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:52, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

I've also incowpowated dis foolz bishazz into my recently-written UnTune hit. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at 03:33, Saturday 17 April 2010 -

I'm so against giving this muppet the satisfaction of mentioning him ever again. Vindication of his sad existence is far more than he deserves. --UU - natter 08:14, Apr 17

Something newsworthy maybe

I couldn't be bothered writing, but M00shy was complaining about never having won any awards on my talk page recently, or something similar, and now he has won Nomination of the Month with a record score of -1 votes. Nominally Humane! some time Sunday, 07:39, Apr 18 2010 UTC

Delivery, anyone?

Nominally Humane! some time Saturday, 07:01, May 1 2010 UTC

Link plz. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 08:45, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/22-04-10 and thanks. Nominally Humane! some time Saturday, 09:00, May 1 2010 UTC

Nah, I aint deliverin'. I just wanted to read it. :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 09:03, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

Grrrr! Nominally Humane! some time Saturday, 09:20, May 1 2010 UTC

Bah. I'll do it! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:31, 1 May 2010

This should be in the UnSignpost

Filial Piety is getting featured! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:02, 15 May 2010

Surely there needs to be an UnSignpost first. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 12:06, May 15, 2010 (UTC)

Maybe someone can write a short issue about the remarkable features we've been having recently. Lobster and A wizard did it may also be mentioned. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:04, 16 May 2010

Perhaps they should also look into this.--Sirrah CatshirE Chess the Striker2117 20:07, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

The resurrection

Since the UnSignpost has been dead for a few months myself and Ethine have decided that we would not be averse to attempting to beat life into this dead horse once again. Anyone at all bothered by this? If not, does anyone have any particular suggestions for the UnSignpost's return? --ChiefjusticeXBox360 19:59, June 14, 2010 (UTC)

Dude, you're so late.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Monday, 08:27, June 14 2010 UTC

The fuck do I look like, some kind of forum-reader? How long has it been since I blocked you? --ChiefjusticeXBox360 20:41, June 14, 2010 (UTC)

Good thing, too. I almost went more than a week without a joke ban again! (By the way, I should REALLY be doing my homework right now...)--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Monday, 09:11, June 14 2010 UTC

I was hoping to have some life breathed into it by yesterday but been delayed by trying to make money by selling my body. After all my efforts I'm down $35.95 due to the cost of the pizzas, so I'll get back to this shortly. This gives a bit of detail realting to the vision I have of it, but would lovce to have people on board to contribute. I've also spoken to Happytimes as Forum:Ask Happytimes could easily be turned into a part of USP/Prime Direction going forward. Teeheehee - Prime Direction going forward. I'm thinking at the moment I'd like to be able to do this as a PDF format so that it can be e-mailed out as well. So to that end I'm trying to work out if I'm looking at one A4 page or more.

Chief, I'm thinking a write up on PLS would be headline, also a write-up on the WotM. I've just asked Striker for permission to reprint Gore Theory as the winner in the top three for May. Can you see what can be done to round up volunteers to write? Also wanting to have an original image to be used for the cover that has no license restrictions. Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 00:03, Jun 15 2010 UTC

You could also include a link about Modus' fortieth feature. (To the revision of the main page with Modusoperandipedia)--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Tuesday, 12:09, June 15 2010 UTC

HELPME - You're obviously up-to-date with that. Could I rely on you to do a write up on that? Maybe three or four paragraphs, unless the muse strikes and you get a few more of quality. I'd suggest getting quotes from Modus. Also from someone else who is moving up the HoS as well. To that end from myself "He's got how many? I've only got half that amount, and I thought I was doing well. I'm going to have to start using both hands to type from now on obviously." Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 02:04, Jun 15 2010 UTC

You're such a whore. Also, I'm super new at this, but I'll see what I can do.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Friday, 12:47, June 18 2010 UTC

And there was me planning to return to USP duty next week like nothing had happened, ignore the two year anniversary thing (due to laziness), and just get back on with things as they were. Am I too late? --UU - natter 10:49, Jun 17

Sod it, I've made a start. Chief, if you and Ethine want to help out, that'd rock. But my intention is to start cranking the Signpost out again as normal from next week on. Unless Puppy's idea stomps all over it, of course. Let's see how long I hack it this time... --UU - natter 15:00, Jun 17

I have no issue with USP still going ahead as usual. Prime Direction was an extension on the existing idea, and the choice of a different name was to reflect that. I'm more than happy for USP and Prime Direction to work side by side. The difference will be the target audience. For instance, an article on PLS for USP would be a case of We held it. It had so many entries. These are the winners. whereas PD would be This is what we had, and when we have it. These are the winners. Make sure you come to the site and check them out. Speaking of which, did you want any articles today? Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 00:16, Jun 18 2010 UTC

I'm happy to have a go, just let me know what you need and where you need it. I can also write for the UnSignpost. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 23:21, June 18, 2010 (UTC)

I have plans, but if anyone wants to submit an article, that would also rock. Any subject welcome, from a quick catch-up on stuff that's happened since the last issue, to an article explaining why nothing has, in fact, happened since the last issue because if it's not in the UnSignpost, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. Or, you know, anything else really. Whatever happens, there will be something to deliever on thursday, I'll stake Orian's reputation on it. --UU - natter 21:43, Jun 19

I got an idea

I'll put up a talk about Rainbow Stalin. I'll put up the lyrics and declare that Goa Tse Clan is powerful. |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill | 01:10, June 23, 2010 (UTC)

So

Is the UnSignpost ready to be delivered? Shall I transclude it or just put a link to the page? Tell me, please! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:52, 24 June 2010

Or me. My mother won't leave me the fuck alone so I'm not going to sleep soon. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 12:00, June 24, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I'd say it's ready. And I'm happy to stick with the traditional delivery - not interested in the link idea. You guys can fight it out over who does the back-breaking job. --UU - natter 12:21, Jun 24

Socky, I sleep deprived myself and took lots of pills so I'd be in the mood to write as TOAST. That won't be happening, though, so I don't think I'm properly "running." You do it. I'll be watching the World Cup. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 12:37, June 24, 2010 (UTC)

Well, if you insist. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:14, 24 June 2010

Two in a row!

Oh yeah, we're back in business! So, anyone out there ready to deliver news so fresh it's still steaming? --UU - natter 11:35, Jul 1

Link please? --ChiefjusticeXBox360 11:38, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Let's see... You could have a look at recent changes, or the USP page latest issue link, or my userpage... Or, well, here you are... Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/01-07-10. =D --UU - natter 11:45, Jul 1

Lazy, you link here or else.... --ChiefjusticeXBox360 12:02, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Story, anyone?

So yeah, after 2 issues in a row, I'm a little stuck for stories this week. Anyone got any suggestions before I fill 'er up with something generic? --UU - natter 14:05, Jul 7

The Story behind Toast and Horace the Sock. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:17, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the idea Romartus, but TBH, I'm not that interested in calling any more attention to that. I'd rather it just slid and we got on with stuff. --UU - natter 14:50, Jul 7

I see...ok I'll will give it UnSignpost's new rival UnNews of the World...--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:20, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

How about a story on the history of Conservation Week. Its origins, success rate, etc. --EMC ^[TALK] 16:27 Jul 7 2010

Or a story on how my cock destroyed the Internet in my city. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 18:26, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

Sounds good EMC - was that you volunteering to write it, or should I? --UU - natter 08:06, Jul 8

Never mind - done it. Which brings me to... --UU - natter 13:04, Jul 8

Delivery, anyone?

Latest issue finished, anyone out there good/bored enough to deliver it? --UU - natter 13:04, Jul 8

Oh bugger, is that a no then? --UU - natter 08:05, Jul 9

You bastards, never make me do that again! --UU - natter 11:04, Jul 9

Dexter said yesterday, "If it's not delivered in two hours, I'll deliver it." Then he didn't. Make Dexter buy you a drink to assuage your suffering. --EMC ^[TALK] 14:00 Jul 9 2010

Fuck you Nate. I would've delivered it today. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 14:34, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

Um... Maybe it's about time I watchlisted this page. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:09, 9 July 2010

Delivery this time?

I'm not doing it 2 weeks running. Nuh huh. No way. So please? Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/15-07-10. --UU - natter 14:15, Jul 15

Alright, I'll deliver it right now! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:41, 16 July 2010