Portal:People

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's People portal

This is by far the most biographical portal you will ever find.

CATEGORIES: Celebrities - Evil Rulers - Historical Figures - Interesting People - Intimidating People - Men - Occupations - Ridiculous Persons - Shaggable People - Stylish People - Undead - Users - Women - All...

People are evil but some people are questionable, and other people are good. Fear people. They are known to eat oranges. People are everywhere these days, as they constitute the final phase of the STD "baby." Their prevalence in history is rarely notated, so we're going to drop some knowledge, old school style, The fear of people intensifies from the score of the hatred of people.

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Highlighted Biography

Karl Lagerfeld

Brilliance! It is too bright. Look away.

You are happy to meet me. This disappoints me. My presence should take you beyond mere happiness. Let me tell you the truth; you are ecstatic! How could you not be? I'm Karl Lagerfeld!

Listen to me when I speak. Listen baby. Do you mind that I call you "baby"? It does not matter! It is not your place to choose such things! I'm Karl Lagerfeld! Other babies would be delighted if I were to take time out from my day and call them "baby". Do you think that you are special? No! Only I am special!

Follow Karl Lagerfeld and let me show you my power. Pause and look...

To makeup artist

Hello baby. You should do more work like that. Her eyes are two oysters, surrounded by sunshine. Fabulous! If your work was that good all the time, you would be another Karl Lagerfeld. Then I would have to hunt you, hit you with a vase and wear your skin as a bathrobe.

Later, I would have cocoa.

You, I like. I will buy you and put you in my pocket. (more...)

Article Credit: Modusoperandi

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More Remarkable People

Below is a list of popular people:

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Quote of the Day

“Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are the whole damn ocean. ”

– Ryunosuke Satoro

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Did You Know...

… ancient Greeks didn't have a word for "ship?"

… Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, and Dostoyevsky were all epileptics (aka brain disorder)?

… topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.

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People in the News

Leprechaun, WTF?

Airport staff want to see your junk.
Organized crime, America's farmers, no match for millions of bored Facebook users.
America's politicians decide to become disc jockeys.
Satan lets loose evil opossums, demon-possessed proctologists.
Kanye wins an epic battle against Lil Wayne in a Twinkie eating Contest.
Charlie Sheen arrested for assaulting the fat kid from Two and a Half Men.
Even Dick Cheney may become a Wolf when the Wolfbane blooms.
Boxer Mike Tyson new spokesperson for General Mills cereals.
Aliens shut down high-value UFO sighting reporting unit, now prepared for all-out invasion of UK.
Gary Kirsten presents his revolutionary methods of training for Indian cricketers.
Tigger Woods Loses His Bounce in the Pooh Sticks Gate Scandal.
Europe has a new Emperor with a funny name - ideal for tabloid headlines.
British actor dies . Americans may know who he was.
Grim Reaper commits suicide after massive week of celebrity deaths.
Some old guy died, or something (ask your parents).

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Highlighted Picture

Fashion

The Axis of Evil never looked so good.

Image Credit: Zana Dark

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Things You Can Do

Find a remarkable article about someone and suggest it for promotion.
Help rewrite articles about people. Some will be healed by a simple spell check, others need something a little more drastic.
Be as social as you possibly can.