Portal:People

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Potatopeopleportal.png
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's People portal
This is by far the most biographical portal you will ever find.
People are evil but some people are questionable, and other people are good. Fear people. They are known to eat oranges. People are everywhere these days, as they constitute the final phase of the STD "baby." Their prevalence in history is rarely notated, so we're going to drop some knowledge, old school style, The fear of people intensifies from the score of the hatred of people.
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Highlighted Biography

File:Karl-lagerfeld1.jpg
Brilliance! It is too bright. Look away.
You are happy to meet me. This disappoints me. My presence should take you beyond mere happiness. Let me tell you the truth; you are ecstatic! How could you not be? I'm Karl Lagerfeld!

Listen to me when I speak. Listen baby. Do you mind that I call you "baby"? It does not matter! It is not your place to choose such things! I'm Karl Lagerfeld! Other babies would be delighted if I were to take time out from my day and call them "baby". Do you think that you are special? No! Only I am special!

Follow Karl Lagerfeld and let me show you my power. Pause and look...

To makeup artist

Hello baby. You should do more work like that. Her eyes are two oysters, surrounded by sunshine. Fabulous! If your work was that good all the time, you would be another Karl Lagerfeld. Then I would have to hunt you, hit you with a vase and wear your skin as a bathrobe.

Later, I would have cocoa.

You, I like. I will buy you and put you in my pocket.  (more...)

Article Credit: Modusoperandi View All
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More Remarkable People

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Quote of the Day

Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are the whole damn ocean. 
– Ryunosuke Satoro
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Did You Know...

 ancient Greeks didn't have a word for "ship?"
 Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, and Dostoyevsky were all epileptics (aka brain disorder)?
 topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.
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People in the News

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Highlighted Picture

Fashion
The Axis of Evil never looked so good.
Image Credit: Zana Dark
Nominate Stuff View All Images
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Things You Can Do

  • Find a remarkable article about someone and suggest it for promotion.
  • Help rewrite articles about people. Some will be healed by a simple spell check, others need something a little more drastic.
  • Be as social as you possibly can.
Uncyclopedia Portals
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These Are The Daves I Know

King David - David Attenborough - David Beckham - David Blaine - David Bowie - David Byrne - David Cameron - Dave Chappelle - David Duke - Dave Gahan - David Gilmour - Dave Grohl - David Hasselhoff - David Hume - David Icke - David Letterman - David Lloyd George - David Lynch - Dave Meltzer - Dave Mustaine - David Pecker - Dave Rowntree - David Tennant - Dave Thomas

Some of them are Davids, but most of them are Daves - They All Have Their Own Hands, But They Come From Different Moms 
– Kids in the Hall

 ( v · t · e ) 
People named Michael
 ( v · t · e ) 
People named Oscar
Entire Bush family.jpg
 ( v · t · e ) 
Bush Family