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The People Portal

Average people

People are evil but some people are questionable, and other people are good. Fear people. They are known to eat oranges. People are everywhere these days, as they constitute the final phase of the STD "baby." Their prevalence in history is rarely notated, so we're going to drop some knowledge, old school style, The fear of people intensifies from the score of the hatred of people.

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Selected Biography

Namath1.jpg
Joe Namath spent the vast majority of his career throwing interceptions as he was about to be sacked.

Joseph William "Joe" Namath (born May 31, 1943), nicknamed "Broadway Joe" or "Joe Willie", is a former American football quarterback for the New York Jets, and is widely considered the greatest bad quarterback in NFL history.

In a dazzling 13-year career, Namath threw 173 touchdowns and 220 interceptions, completed 50 percent of his passes, appeared in one Pro Bowl and amassed a quarterback rating of 65.5, putting him on the short bus of NFL players. Nevertheless, his Super Bowl III "guarantee", his 4,000 yard passing performance in 1967 and his 161-game streak of drinking Jimmy Breslin under the table landed him in the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1985, forever disproving the "East Coast Bias" of sportswriters.

Namath's "intangibles" are often cited in his listing among football immortals. While Fran Tarkenton and Roger Staubach were better quarterbacks, "Broadway Joe" did sleep with a lot of beautiful women, and his Hall of Fame enshrinement gave hope to charming fuck-ups everywhere.…

Archive Article credit: Procopius (more…)


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More Remarkable People

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Quote of the Day

“People who count their chickens before they are hatched, act very wisely, because chickens run about so absurdly that it is impossible to count them accurately”


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Did You Know...

...that Adolf Hitler had only one testicle.


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People in the News

UnNews:CIA using leprechauns to hook African-Americans on drugs


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Selected Picture

Dick Cheney

This rare and beautiful flower has the same effect as the head of Medusa, but it obviously resembles Dick Cheney.

Nominate stuff Image credit: Safcdude Image archive


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Things You Can Do

  • Find a remarkable article about someone and suggest it for promotion.
  • Help rewrite articles about people. Some will be healed by a simple spell check, others need something a little more drastic.
  • Be as social as you possibly can.
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More Portals

Portals complement main topics in Uncyclopedia that nobody cares about, and expand upon topics that nobody cares even less about.