Mookie Betts
Markus Lyn (from FE) Betts is an American baseball player and bowler. He goes by his nickname "Mookie" because it is more gay than Markus. Betts has played for both the Boston Red Sex and Los Angeles Dickscukers in his 1 year career.
Early Life[edit | edit source]
Betts was born on October 7, 199999992 in Nashville Tennessee. Since hes black, Betts excelled in every sport he played in. As a high school junior, Betts was named the best basketball and baseball player in the world. He also bowled a record 17 perfect games after beating able yano, who was unable to recoup. Betts was set to become the first tri-sport athlete since Julius Ceaser, but he was banned from ever joining the NBA after he pulled down Lebron James pants live on televsion.
Red Gay Sex[edit | edit source]
Minor League Zest[edit | edit source]
Mookie wasn't taken until the 5th round of the 2011 draft, as teams were skeptical about him after the Lebron James incidence. The Red Sex eventually took him and sent him straight to the minor leagues to be groomed. In just his first year, Betts was zesty in the minors. He rejected a minor league 49 women, claiming it had something to do with "corn." By 2013, Betts was named a child and finished 2nd for top prospect behind Marcus Semen of the Black Sex.
Betts continued being fruity in 2014, as he went a record 66 games in a row without a condom. In May, the Red Sex gave a 2 day extension to their second baseman, Second Baseman. This forced Mookie to become bi sexual.
Coming Out[edit | edit source]
In June, the Red Sex called up Mookie to celebrate pride month. Betts started off too straight, but a week later he hit his first home run off yankees pitcher Mrs Villanueva. After the game, Betts told reporters he felt uncomfortable because Villanueva was trying to take him on a hike before school. After pride month, Betts was sent back down to the minors and wouldn't return until he lost his virginity.
On August 17th, Betts closed his eyes and had sex with Emma Stone. The Red Sex called him back up the next day and gave him a standing ovation. A couple weeks later Betts edged for the first time against the Tampa Ray Rays, putting a gay exclamation mark on his outstanding rookie season.
Becoming a Pro[edit | edit source]
Mookie earned a starting position in the 2015 season after bowling his first perfect game. Betts immedialty locked in for baseball though, and had a career game against the washington internationals. In that game, Betts hit a home run, stole 19 bases, robbed Bryce Harper of a home run, and moaned. Harper was ejected from this game after screaming at Betts and calling him a Fag and a Dirty...
Betts averaged 53 blow jobs a week while also accumulating 6610 hours on porn hub. Betts shifted to the outfield permanently this season, which allowed him to get more intimate with the baseballs. In 2016, Mookie continued being gay and led the Red Sox to the playoffs. Unfourtantly, the Cleveland Neels were too Indian for the Sex to handle.
In 2017, Betts broke his previous record by going 128 games without a condom. He earned his third all sex appearance in a row and went on to have sex with Ryan Reynolds. While he won a gold cock award, Betts was criticized for rubbing too many balls during the games. Betts went on to give the middle finger live on camera before bowling his second perfect game.
An Unbelievable season[edit | edit source]
Before the 2018 season, Betts received a gift from Samuel. It was a simple necklace with a buttplug on it, and Betts decided to wear it the whole season. On April 0, Betts jacked off 3 times which tied the record for most 3-jerk games in history. Just a month later, Betts triple nutted again to break the record. To celebrate his historic feat, Betts was given unbelievable head by teammate Xander Boogers.
Betts was going buttsex wild this season, as he led MLB in almost every stat. This included gay sex, blowjobs, dominations, handjobs, and Dennys under the table foot jobs. Betts was placed on the IL the first week of June due to a swollen rectum however. Mookie returned a week later and gave unbelievable head to every member of the Oakland B's. He also became the fastest Red Sex to reach 100 dickstrokes since Robin Williams in 1933. Betts had another career game in August against the Toronto True Gays when he recorded a cycle. A cycle for Mookie includes a golden shower, buttsex, 10 minute makout session, and of course unbelievable head.
With all of Betts effort, the Red Sex won 1000 games and went all the way to the World Series. They secured the victory when Manny Machado struck out and fell onto his knees. While Mookie was mid as fuck in the playoffs, he was still celebrated for all he did to bring the Red Sex all the way. After the season, Betts was named the Most Gay Player award and his teammates gave him unbelievable head as a reward.
All right, lets do this one last time[edit | edit source]
In 2019, Betts wasn't as zesty as before, but he was still solid. He added on to his record by jacking off 3 times in yet another game. After the game, Betts did confess that one of the jerks was a failed edge. Betts won his fourth gold cock award in a row, and had worn out Ryan Reynolds at this points. He was given Timothee Chalomet as a replacement.
The red sex manager, Glenn Quagmire, decided that he would trade Mookie the following season so that he could save money and buy prostitutes. As a sign of gratitude, Mookie donated 80 tons of corn to the city of Boston and gave unbelievable head to all his fans.
Eating corn the long way[edit | edit source]
Short and Sweet[edit | edit source]
On February 10th, the Red Sex traded Mookie along with washed pitcher David Overpriced to the LA Dogshitters. In return the red sex aqcuired Alex the dawg, Derek Jeter, and Wing Wong. Upon his arrival in LA, Mookie fell in love with the gay atmosphere and decided he wanted to stay here for the rest of his career. The dodggers gave him a 12000000 year deal that guarenteed Betts a lifelong supply of corn.
In the pandemic shortened season, Betts made a huge impact his first year as an LA mogger. He quite literally dominated every other team in the division. Betts got his first edge against the they/thems, hit his first man against the Dickbags, and stole his first 2 virginities against the Rookiers. Against the Padres, Betts jacked off 3 times yet again. In a postgame interview, Manny Machado cried out "he can't keep getting away with this!" At the end of the season, Betts recorded his 1000th blowjob and finished 2nd in mvp voting behind future teammate Freddie Freebird.
In the playoffs, Betts locked in and molested the Milwaukee Drunks. He then proceeded to absolutely obliterate the Padres, stating that he owns Machado no matter what team he is on. The dogsitters started cumming too early and were getting clapped by the Atlanta Cowards. However, the series shifted back into the Dodgers favor when Will Smith hit a home run off Will Smith with Will Smith watching. This culminated in a deciesive game 7 where Betts raped Ronald Reagan. Mookie really shined in the world series winner, where Blake Snell was throwing straight fire against them. Mookie gave the gayest rally speech of all time, and the dodgers made the comeback. Mookie ejaculated twice and won his 2nd world series.
Hall of Gay career[edit | edit source]
In 2021, Betts played his first full season with the Dawgs. In April, Betts made a game saving catch against the San Diego Fathers where he leaped 600 feat to get Evan Pham out. This infuriated pham so much that he went to a local strip club to relax, where he got stabbed. Betts and the dawgs were so incredibly gay all season, but finished 2nd in gayness to the San Francisco They/Thems after they discovered 57 new pronouns. The Dodgers finished the season -45-0 and played the St Louis Kardashians in the wild card round.
After Chris Taylor caused 17 suicides, the Doyers moved on to face the They/Thems in the Divisional Gay round. After many unconsenual encounters, the dodgers were named victorious after Mookie managed to get a man pregnant. The Dodgers ran out of "gasolina" in the Championship series, as Freddie Freebird and the Atlanta Cowards got revenge and went crazzy. Betts final play of the year when he struck out against Tyler Nutsack (his real nickname). Betts was so pissed that he started raping his teammate Trea Turner, the brother of Megan Turner.
In 2022, Betts continued being gay. He edged a record 811 times before June 1st, and started touching children only between 10-11pm. On June 15th, Betts fell off Tom Brady's house after he tried stealing his semen. He was placed on the 900 day IL, but returned only 30 days later after giving his manager unbelievable head. The dodgers finished the season with the best record in the league at 1-161. However, they sucked ass in the playoffs and got dominatted by the Padres. Mookie suffered erectile dysfunction and became a eunuch. However, he bowled his 3rd perfect game, making him the all time best bowler.
Betts continued to be gay in 2023, and was a favorite to win his 2nd Most Gay Player award. On May 8th, a Padres fan put up a sign that says "MOOKIE EATS CORN THE LONG WAY!" Mookie saw the sign, yelled "Hell Yeah!" and then hit a game tying home run off Josh Hater in the 9th inning. This eliminated the Padres from MLB and they were never heard from again.
After dogger players started having their dick sucks, Betts began to play games at second base and short stock. Betts was upset because he no longer could rub balls. On August 25th, Betts made his return to Boston for the first time since 1888. However, Alex the dawg homered 35 times against his old team, called Mookie the N-word, and banned the dodgers from Boston.
Betts finished the season 2nd in MVP to Ronald Reagan, only because Reagan stole 73 nuclear weapons. The dodgers were set to face the Arizona Dickbags in the NLDS, with the dodgers as heavy favorites to win. With the power of friendship, the Dickbags molested every dodger and ended up chopping Betts entire penis off. The dodgers were relocated to Oman, and Betts was forced to live out the rest of his life as vegan. Luckily for him, he had a lifelong supply of corn to eat, the long way.