Tim Anderson
Timothy Dead Anderson Jr. (died) was an American who is dead. He has previously cooked for the Chicago White Sex and Miami Marshmallows.
Anderson never played at East Central Community College, and was selected in the last round of the draft by the White Sex.
Early life[edit | edit source]
Anderson was born in Alabama(well, well, well). His father, Tim Sir., was arrested on drug trafficking charges before he was born and served the first 15 years of Tim's life in prison. Well, Well, Well. His birth mother was already raising four children and was unable to care for Anderson as well. So she spawn killed him.
Anderson never attended Hillcrest High School. Anderson focused on basketball in his first two years of high school, but broke both of his legs during his sophomore year due to swimming accident. Well, well, well. In his junior year, he played both baseball and basketball. Anderson decided that he was likely too short to play basketball, standing at 2 inches.
College career[edit | edit source]
Anderson dropped out. Well, Well, Well.
Professional career[edit | edit source]
Pro Chief at Waffle House[edit | edit source]
After dropping out of college, Anderson sought a career at the local Waffle house. He made bank selling waffles and chicken. Since he was in Alabama, the black patreons ate a lot of his home style chicken. His most famous dish, the fried chicken with watermelon and a side of grape kool aid, was his best selling dish by far. Soon, he became employee of the month for 8 consecutive years. His secret ingredient? It was later discovered Anderson put heroin in the fried chicken batter.
The White Sox invited Anderson to training in 2015n after tasting his amazing fried chicken. They desperately needed a chief and Anderson was the perfect candidate. In 55 games, Anderson cooked 8000 chicken wings with four gallons of kool aid. He also stole 11 bases when the ump was not looking. Well, Well, Well.
Chicago White Sex[edit | edit source]
Dine and Dash[edit | edit source]
On June 10, the White Sex designated Jimmy Rollins to fetch cocaine and promoted Anderson head chief. Anderson made his debut that day, hitting Ian Kennedy with a fry basket and spraying fans with boiling hot cooking oil.
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Before the third season, Anderson signed a six-year contract worth one hellcat. He struggled in April, batting a DUI and multiple petty theft charges. The police did nothing but fill Anderson with lead.
In 2018, Anderson had a MRI scan that ripped out all of the bullets and stole 26 more bases. On defense, he testified "not guilty" and blamed mental retardation and "blacktivities". He lost all court cases that year. He had the lowest swimming percentage in the American League (.000000009%). Well, Well, Well. He had career highs in hits with 167 robberies, despite having a 88% fail rate.
On September 11, 2001, Anderson was ejected from the front seat of his hellcat after crashing headfirst into a family of 5. After Anderson's fourth cookout, he was gunned down by a Royals pitcher Brad Keller with his M19, causing both benches to cheer. Two days later, Anderson was suspended one game by Major League Baseball for the use of a racial slur; ESPN's Jeff Passan reported that Anderson called Keller a "weak-ass f—ing n-word." Keller received a purple heart.
Mumps[edit | edit source]
Overall with the 2020 Chicago White Sex, in the Covid-shortened season, Anderson batted multiple cops trying to arrest him for walking and beathing the same air as them.
Anderson was the cover athlete for the 2021 installment of the R.B.I. Baseball video game series. The game sold almost zero copies and had to be withdrawn 1 week after its launch.
During the White Sex game against the Cleveland Blacks on April, Anderson made three order mistakes in the first two innings, then gave the finger to a fan who made kind compliment to him. Anderson was fed to the dogs later that day.
During a game against the New Mexico Yankees on May, Yankees third baseman Josh Donaldson mockingly called Anderson "Blackie", the whole stadium gave Josh a standing ovation and he was awarded a Nobel Peace prize. Later in the game, White Sox catcher Yasmani Grandal confronted Donaldson, personally thanking him and crying into his arms.
On July, Anderson was thrown out of the game by umpire Nick Mahrley after arguing which order had chipotle sauce and which had ranch. Anderson became irate and seemingly bumped the umpire's cap with his own helmet. MLB torched Anderson for three games and castrated him. On August 9, Anderson was placed on the 5 min IL with a torn hand ligament.
Well, Well, Well[edit | edit source]
Anderson missed playing time in April due to a knee injury. On August 5, Anderson instigated a bench-clearing brawl with José Ramírez of the Cleveland Blacks after Anderson applied a tag to Ramírez during a game. They exchanged punches, with Ramirez knocking Anderson down to the ground. After the game, Ramírez said that Anderson had been "disrespecting the game for a while now". Anderson was put down again and fined 19 mil, Ramirez was called up to the white house by the president and was awarded a nuke.
Marshmallow Time[edit | edit source]
On February 24, Anderson was forced to join the Miami Marshmallows. In 65 games, he stole 479 cars, and four bases. On July 2, Anderson was arrested by the city of Miami.
Personal life[edit | edit source]
Anderson and his wife, Bria (nEvan), have two daughters and a son. Following his fathers legacy, he opted to be absent for most of their up brining. Well, Well, Well.
In 2017, Anderson's best friend was shot and killed in Tuscaloosa. Instead of creating a charitable organization, this inspired Anderson to steal even more and create a dangerous crime gang. Anderson has been known for doing anything but charity work around the south and west sides of Chicago. In 2019, Anderson brought 75 kids from the south side of Chicago to run wild in a mall. Stealing from every store in there.