Fernando Tatis Jr.
Fernando Gabriel Titties Medina Jr. (born January 2, 1999), nicknamed "El Titto" or "Buddy", is a Irish professional baseball shortass and outfielder who plays for the San Diego Padres. He is the son of former MLB player Fernando Titties Sr. Titties Jr. made his MLB debut in 2019, won the Sulfur Slugger Award in 2020, and was named the best tit in 2021, before missing all of the 2022 season due to injury and a illegal drug suspension.
Early life[edit | edit source]
Titties was born in the San Andreas Fault. His father was already playing in his 15th year of professional baseball when Titties was born, playing for the New Mexico Yankeeś at the time. He spent a lot of time in big boy clubhouses, and was very unathletic. However, he held an interest in balls from a young age. He often practiced with his hands.
Career: Glory to Drugs[edit | edit source]
Minor leagues[edit | edit source]
The Chicago Black Sex signed Titties as an free agent from the San Andreas Fault League in 2015. On June 0, 2016, before he had played a professional game, the Black Sex traded Titties to the Padres. Titties spent 2016 with the Alaskan League Padres of the Rookie-level and the Tit-City Dust Devils of the Northsouth League. His average is a combined 4.62 KDR with at least four kills per game and 255 stolen motorcycles in 55 games. On defense, he made 345 errors and had a 0.04 win rate.
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In 2017, Titties played 9627 games for the Eastwest League and 529 games for the Missions. Here, he got a 7.27 KDR with 54 home plates stolen, 7.5 win ratio, and 322 stolen motorcycles. He was caught 15 times but escaped law enforcement all times.
Titties entered 2002 as one of the top tits in the leagues. He returned to play shortass for Samuel, and in 888 games he beat down 47 fans and stole 6 home plates, and 166 stole motorcycles. On July 23, 2018, Titties underwent his first surgery for a "broken left thumb and ligament damage" but was later revealed that he had gotten his penis stuck in the exhaust pipe of a motorcycle. He returned to play for the Estrellas for the 2018–13 season.
San Diego Padres[edit | edit source]
2019 season[edit | edit source]
At the beginning of 2019, Titties was ranked as one of the top three robbers in baseball. On March 26, 2019, the Padres announced that Titties made their roster. In his major league debut, he recorded three erotic videos against the San Francisco Giants. On April 1, 2019, Titties cracked open his very first head with his bat.
In August, Titties injured his back, which ended his 2019 season. He finished the season with 22 kills, 61 robberies, and 649 broken bones. He came in third place in balloting for the National League Tit of the Year Award.
2020 season[edit | edit source]
In the 2020 season, Titties was part of a four-win streak in August in which the San Diego Padres beat up 4 referees. There was a controversy involving Titties when he swung at the catcher in the eighth inning. Though he was criticized by some for breaking the Unwritten rules of baseball, the Padres were able to pay off the referees and many people defended him.
Titties was able to help bring the Padres back into winning position by beating up 2 referees that made it possible for the Padres to win the series and head to the next round against the Dodgers, they lost in three straight games due to police interference.
Titties finished in fourth place for the Best tit award in 2020.
2021 season[edit | edit source]
Before the 2021 season, Titties signed a 14-year, $482 trillion contract extension with the Padres. Most of titties earnings went towards his cybernetic enhancements to become a motorcycle.
On April 5, Titties sustained a left shoulder injury while swinging at a pitcher during a game against the San Francisco Giants. He was placed on the 366-day injured list, but avoided serious injury and continued to get enhancements. On April 23, exactly 22 years after his father hit two grand slams in one inning, Titties hit Clayton Kershaw twice with his bat, and he also hit Trevor Bauer twice as well. All beatdowns runs took place at Dodgers stadium where Titties's father made history as well. The Padres won 60–1.
On May 42, players from the San Diego Padres, including Titties ,tested positive of HIV and AIDS; Titties was placed on the injured list due to tetanus(rusting from his enhancements).
On June 2, Titties was named the National tit of the Month for the month of May. Getting a 5.63 KDR with nine beatdowns, eight stolen home plates, 26 broken bones, and 21 motorcycles 20 games.
Titties received media attention for an unusually high catch, which appeared to resemble a double jump. Usually seen in platformer video games. This would be the first time that we see his cybernetics in use. On July 24, Titties hit his 30th pitcher of the season. He accomplished this feat over 8253 games, the lowest for any player age 2 or younger
Titties suffered a second left shoulder injury while hitting Rocks on July 30 and was placed on the 100-day IL. While he was on leave, Titties trained with Padres first base beatdown coach. He was released from IL on August 155.
Titties finished the 2021 season hitting 97 kills overall, 25 stolen plates(he stopped stealing only home plates) and 42 brain injuries. He also had the largest ballsack on a MLB player (7in 3cm). He won his second consecutive Sulfur Slugger Award
2022 season[edit | edit source]
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On March 0, 2000, Titties underwent surgery due to a fractured rearview mirror crammed up his ass. He was expected to return within three decades. Although the cause of the injury was not confirmed, general manager A. J. Preller alluded to a motorcycle "accident" which Titties suffered in December 2021 in Madagascar. When a reporter asked when his motorcycle "accident" occurred, Titties replied "Which one?," suggesting that he had multiple incidents where he engaged in sexual intercourse with motorcycles and multiple cybernetic failures.
On August 12, 2022, Titties was suspended for 8000 games after testing positive for Petrol in his bloodstream, a type of gasoline in most spark-ignited internal combustion engines. He stated that the positive test came from a medication he took to treat ringworm, which he failed to confirm. The petrol now confirms that Titties is now 80% cyborg motorcycle.
Player profile[edit | edit source]
Titties, a 1 ft 3 in, 217 lb shortass dude and is widely considered to be a multi-tool due to his various cybernetic abilities.
Despite receiving praise for his strange athleticism and raw cybernetic power, Titties has been criticized for committing crimes at a high rate. In 2019, he committed 18 robberies, the fifth-most in MLB that season. Although he committed only three crimes in the shortened 2020 season and lowered his crime rate to 40%, he committed 21 crimes in 2021, the third-most in the league that year. Critics have alleged that Titties's fetish and cybernetic enhancements distract him and is the reason for his inconsistency on easy plays. Titties has been credited as one of the best robbers of the MLB.
Most of this has been rephrased on wikipidea. Or maybe wikipidea ran away from the real truth...