Babel:96

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Welcome to TheCoolInternetWebWWWHomepage, the best site on the internet hosted by Geocities.

HIT COUNTER (Powered by AOL) <::::\-/-\-/::::> 26 views since ever.


<MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=SLIDE>Befor u check out my kewl homepage you might wanna read about me or look at photos from my sweet 16 b-day celebration.
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Cant touch this!!!!
Cant touch this</table>!!!!

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WEBPAGE HAS BEEN REDESIGNED!!!!!

Links | Portals | Portals&nbsp;of&nbsp;links | Creators&nbsp;of&nbsp;portals&nbsp; | <M/ARQUEE> Links&nbsp;to&nbsp;portals&nbsp; | WWW
Funny pictures | Search | Internet Explorer</b>

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My favorite Word document[edit source]


tourniquet

MADE WITH FRONT PAGE 95

Now with twice the features!![edit source]

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You are wasting this internet site's time. You should be writing something, but instead you are just sitting there, waiting for it to entertain you. You could even be the Time Magazine Person of the Year. Don't you have any sense of responsibility? How can you live with yourself? Think about all the times you've laughed heartily at some passing rejoinder in the forums, guffawed mightily at a clever turn of phrase on your talkpage, or even politely smiled at some article during your favorite Uncyclopedia program: HumorSearch. Don't you think you owe it to this wiki to put in at least a semblance of effort to return the favor? You should cease and desist all extraneous and benign activity and write an article.

Okay, that was incredibly rude, mate. Firstly, I think you should be the one writing the article, seeing as you are the one who bloody gives a damn. Secondly, by caring about what I do with every second of my precious time spent on Uncyclopedia and forming an essay on what I should be doing, you have wasted more of the common people's time than I could ever imagine. Thirdly, how can you live with yourself? You think yourself funny, don't you? Well I don't. You are an idiot and have problems. Bugger off.

What? Who says "bugger" besides Captain Price? Probably some British creeper. British creeper, whoever you are, you need to "bugger" off, you filthy "wanker"! (Full article...)

Tell me how good my website is.

The part of my site built with FRONT PAGE!!


Plug in your computer better!

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Facts about me[edit source]

  • ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?


History Channel[edit source]


RACHEL!!!! STOP WRITING MATH PROBLEMS FOR 8TH GRADERS AND GIVE ME BACK MY KIDS!!!!

February 6: Nihilism Day

  • 1489 - Nothing truly happens, for life is bereft of all meaning.
  • 1555 - What is even "meaning"? But a futile attempt to give essence to what is without it?
  • 1644 - We are but things, mere atoms, floating in a miasma of angst, seeking out pain to fill a never-ending hole. A hole... of pain.
  • 1709 - Where is God? He is nowhere. A marketing gimmick by the, uhh, bead companies, to sell beads.
  • 1882 - You know what else is bereft of meaning? Family court. Family court, yet another "institution" meant to bring order in an order-less world.
  • 1905 - Rachel! Let me see the kids! Goddamnit Rachel I can't even see their faces!!! You whore!!! Rachel!!!
  • 1941 - Just the weekends, Rachel, please, just the weekends...

Photos from my 14th birthday

Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator[edit source]



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Too bad you can't customize this in the original.

Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein Files

Recent deaths: The MetroCardStranger Thingsthe other Black guy from John Carpenter's The ThingBob WeirScott AdamsKianna UnderwoodBuffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenureDenver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons • UncyclopediaCatherine O'HaraLamont

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!!

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce


Their website (Its really good but not as good as mine)

Other cool sites[edit source]


English paper

Write my english paper for me!


Proofreading

I stubbed my toe and it hurts

Sometimes my mom takes Prozac and tries to kill herself



Note to self: remember to put toilet seat down

Seriously id really appreaciate if you wrote my english paper

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David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.


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If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.


Congratulations to Rcmurphy, our Uncyclopedian of the Year!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006


WEBRING

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.


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