Babel:96
Welcome to TheCoolInternetWebWWWHomepage, the best site on the internet hosted by Geocities.
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<MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=SLIDE>Befor u check out my kewl homepage you might wanna read about me or look at photos from my sweet 16 b-day celebration.
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BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WEBPAGE HAS BEEN REDESIGNED!!!!!
Links | Portals | Portals of links | Creators of portals | <M/ARQUEE> Links to portals | WWW
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My favorite Word document[edit source]
MADE WITH FRONT PAGE 95
Now with twice the features!![edit source]
Foreign accent syndrome is a rare psychiatric disorder that, in its milder form, causes people it affects to pronounce words in a foreign accent. The disorder usually follows a brain injury caused by non-perforating head trauma, as perforating head trauma is much too gory for a proper mental illness. In extreme cases, victims of FAS can actually acquire knowledge of the foreign language associated with their new accent, slang terms and humorous exaggerated versions of national stereotypes included. A victim who develops a Lithuanian accent might acquire the Lithuanian language, tell other people to "Laizhyk asilo shikna", piss on bottles of Švyturys Ekstra, and date his sister.
As of the present, there is no known cure or treatment for FAS, and scientists have yet to completely unravel how the disorder works. People afflicted with the disorder are usually shunned within their community and turned into social pariahs. Fortunately, there are government sponsored programs that let victims of FAS assimilate in foreign countries where their accents are accepted. (Full article...)
Tell me how good my website is.
The part of my site built with FRONT PAGE!!
Facts about me[edit source]
- ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
- ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
- ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
- ... the muffin man?
- ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
- ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
- ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
- ... that Oh My God! There's a Meteor Heading Towards Us? (Pictured)
- ... that Iran is all set to invade itself?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
- ... that you actually didn't know?
- ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
- ... that bestiality just got 15 percent more legal?
- ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
- ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
History Channel[edit source]
March 2: International Genderflip Cartoon Characters Day
- 1797 - The Bank of England issues the country's first currency to feature a smug, grinning monarch.
- 1867 - First Reconstruction laws: replaces slavery with "technically-not-slavery", which is not slavery. Technically.
- 1917 - The people of Puerto Rico are granted U.S. citizenship, to make the colonial exploitation that much more painful.
- 1946 - President Ho Chi Minh is declared "most likely to ferment Communist insurrection" in high school yearbook.
- 1961 - John F. Kennedy starts the Peace Corps, a secret CIA project to dump potentially troubling bleeding-heart hippies abroad.
- 1995 - Yahoo! is created, Nintendo immediately sues the site for stealing Mario's orgasm sound.
- 2017 - Scientists discover a side-effect of watching Guy Fieri (Pictured) marathons on the Food Network: severe internal bleeding.
Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator[edit source]
- Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured)
- Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
- Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
- The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
- US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
- So.. about that Super Bowl..
- Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
- Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
- Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
- Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
- Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life
Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • M-m-m-Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and other Iranian leaders
Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (according to Wikipedia) • Avicii (according to Wikipedia)
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico • Smiling Friends
Their website (Its really good but not as good as mine)
Other cool sites[edit source]
- Why is book?
- Halloween Ends
- Stranger Things (rw)
- G.I. Jane
- G.I. Jane 2
- UnTunes:Santa Baby
- This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich
- Fairytale
- UnTunes:Shoes
- Uncyclopedia:Business (rw)
- Halloween Kills
- UnTunes:Perry the Platypus
- Elon's Musk
- UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw)
- UnTunes:Rio
- Herodotus (rw)
- Brawny
- Lawnmower-Humvee (rw)
- Steve Wozniak (rw)
- Narrative (rw)
- Bryan Adams High School
- Alex Trebek
- Lincoln Logs
- Brexit
- Where Is Everybody?
- UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals)
- Avi Toledano
- Eli Roth
- Film (remake)
- African American
- Worst 100 Reflections on 2018
- Ray Charles
- Bernardo Butterlucci
- Urban Dictionary
Write my english paper for me!
Sometimes my mom takes Prozac and tries to kill herself
Note to self: remember to put toilet seat down
Seriously id really appreaciate if you wrote my english paper
 David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. |
 If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. |
Congratulations to Rcmurphy, our Uncyclopedian of the Year!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006
- My friend Brad - He needs a bone marrow transplant LOL!
- My colleadge fund - so i can get a good job
- My web hosting company - Unlimited bandwidth and diskspace for only 50 cents a month
- Hersheys - They want to build a Chocolate New Orleans
- Oragami - Crazy japs
You can talk to me on AOL chat.
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