Babel:96
Welcome to TheCoolInternetWebWWWHomepage, the best site on the internet hosted by Geocities.
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<MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=SLIDE>Befor u check out my kewl homepage you might wanna read about me or look at photos from my sweet 16 b-day celebration.
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BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WEBPAGE HAS BEEN REDESIGNED!!!!!
Links | Portals | Portals of links | Creators of portals | <M/ARQUEE> Links to portals | WWW
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My favorite Word document[edit source]
MADE WITH FRONT PAGE 95
Now with twice the features!![edit source]
Good evening crew of the RMS Titanic. My name is Scuttlebutt, Sidney Scuttlebutt. I am the head of the exterior furniture section on this ship. My job is to provide deckchairs for the comfort of all First Class and Second Class passengers. Third Class passengers are not entitled to deckchairs so you will not need to show them how they work.
This may be the Titanic's maiden voyage but I am already a professional at the art of deckchair maintenance as I have worked on the Titanic's sister ship RMS Olympic. I believe a carefully prepared deckchair with the option of a blanket and cushion is essential if travellers want to take in the cold April air of 1912. So I will now demonstrate what we do.
What was that? You want to know more about the lifeboats? We can talk about that tomorrow. Those boats are to rescue people at sea, not the people here as this ship is unsinkable, made of steel that is light enough to float. There is no need to be worried. For those who really want to learn more about lifeboats, I understand Captain Smith will be holding a class tomorrow. (Full article...)
Tell me how good my website is.
The part of my site built with FRONT PAGE!!
Facts about me[edit source]
- ... that Pennywise the Clown wants to entertain you? (Pictured)
- ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
- ... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder?
- ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
- ... that there is one imposter among us?
- ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
- ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
- ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
- ... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)
- ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
- ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
- ... that Africa's space program has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
- ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
- ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
History Channel[edit source]
March 15: Julius Caesar's Deathday
- 44 BC - Julius Caesar is stabbed to death by a conspiracy of the Roman Senate, his last words: "Oww Jesus fuck!" (Pictured)
- 1493 - Christopher Columbus returns to Spain after his first voyage to the New World. "What's that blood in your shoe?" asks Queen Isabella.
- 1917 - Tsar Nicholas II abdicates his throne, hopes to retire to a nice dingy basement with the rest of his family.
- 1952 - During a performance of 4'33", composer John Cage is heckled by the audience as a pretentious, lazy gasbag. Their heckling by definition becomes part of 4'33", and therefore a meta-commentary on itself: Cage is hailed as a creative genius.
- 1965 - President Lyndon B. Johnson advocates the Voting Rights Act as part of a fiendish Marxist ploy to get non-white people to vote and stuff.
- 2000 - Y2K doomsayers are just about ready to confess that they were mistaken, until they hear about the sexy new year of 2012.
Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator[edit source]
- Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured)
- Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
- Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
- The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
- US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
- Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
- Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
- Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
- Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter Paralympics • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed
Recent deaths: Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city?
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons
Their website (Its really good but not as good as mine)
Other cool sites[edit source]
- Why is book?
- Halloween Ends
- Stranger Things (rw)
- G.I. Jane
- G.I. Jane 2
- UnTunes:Santa Baby
- This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich
- Fairytale
- UnTunes:Shoes
- Uncyclopedia:Business (rw)
- Halloween Kills
- UnTunes:Perry the Platypus
- Elon's Musk
- UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw)
- UnTunes:Rio
- Herodotus (rw)
- Brawny
- Lawnmower-Humvee (rw)
- Steve Wozniak (rw)
- Narrative (rw)
- Bryan Adams High School
- Alex Trebek
- Lincoln Logs
- Brexit
- Where Is Everybody?
- UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals)
- Avi Toledano
- Eli Roth
- Film (remake)
- African American
- Worst 100 Reflections on 2018
- Ray Charles
- Bernardo Butterlucci
- Urban Dictionary
Write my english paper for me!
Sometimes my mom takes Prozac and tries to kill herself
Note to self: remember to put toilet seat down
Seriously id really appreaciate if you wrote my english paper
 David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. |
 If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. |
Congratulations to Rcmurphy, our Uncyclopedian of the Year!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006
- My friend Brad - He needs a bone marrow transplant LOL!
- My colleadge fund - so i can get a good job
- My web hosting company - Unlimited bandwidth and diskspace for only 50 cents a month
- Hersheys - They want to build a Chocolate New Orleans
- Oragami - Crazy japs
You can talk to me on AOL chat.
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