Babel:96

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Goatsehttp://www.goatse.cx


Welcome to TheCoolInternetWebWWWHomepage, the best site on the internet hosted by Geocities.

HIT COUNTER (Powered by AOL) <::::\-/-\-/::::> 26 views since ever.


<MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=SLIDE>Befor u check out my kewl homepage you might wanna read about me or look at photos from my sweet 16 b-day celebration.
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Goatsehttp://www.goatse.cx


Cant touch this!!!!
Cant touch this</table>!!!!

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WEBPAGE HAS BEEN REDESIGNED!!!!!

Links | Portals | Portals&nbsp;of&nbsp;links | Creators&nbsp;of&nbsp;portals&nbsp; | <M/ARQUEE> Links&nbsp;to&nbsp;portals&nbsp; | WWW
Funny pictures | Search | Internet Explorer</b>

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My favorite Word document[edit source]


procrastination

MADE WITH FRONT PAGE 95

Now with twice the features!![edit source]

Jason1.jpg

I was sitting in my living room very late at night, watching the Friday the 13th franchise. Something felt off, though. I don't mean in the way some horror movies might make you uneasy; something felt really, really wrong. That's when I heard it.

KI KI KI MA MA MA

I immediately got up and looked out the window. That's when I saw the bastard.

Jason Voorhees. Standing underneath a streetlight. No weapon. No credit card. No signup. No bullshit. He's not here to kill me; he's here to lay a goddamn beatdown, no two ways about it. I'll be damned if I let that happen. Me and him were staring at each other for about ten seconds before he started walking towards my house. Time to face the music. (Full article...)

Tell me how good my website is.

The part of my site built with FRONT PAGE!!


Plug in your computer better!

Goatsehttp://www.goatse.cx

Facts about me[edit source]

  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?


History Channel[edit source]


Contrary to popular belief, the "Peeing Calvin" bumper sticker was not created by Oscar Wilde.

October 27: National "Peeing Calvin" Bumper Sticker Day

  • 1875 - Oscar Wilde decided to avoid his normal routine and go to the barbers before attending his routine denouncement.
  • 1956 - George Bush's first toenail grew in. Widely considered to be particularly unspectacular, this event is overlooked by hordes of Bush supporters who hold wild street parties, which begin with tea and quiet chatting and end in mass orgies.
  • 1959 - John F. Kennedy pees on Calvin.
  • 1998 - Mother of Pearl Sunday when several people attempted to create a zombie of Michael Jackson.
  • 2101 - Chuck Norris pees twice on Calvin. Then pees on Hobbes and Bill Watterson. Can you beat that, John?

Photos from my 14th birthday

Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator[edit source]



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One simply cannot piss until he scans this.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C.

Recent deaths: Trump's pet slothRobert RedfordU.S. Federal GovernmentJane GoodallThe Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane KeatonGaza WarDrew StruzanWindows 10D'AngeloYouTube player's old design • Ace Frehley

Upcoming deaths: DEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefsCapitalism in NYC • 2025 Major League Baseball season


Their website (Its really good but not as good as mine)

Other cool sites[edit source]


English paper

Write my english paper for me!


Proofreading

I stubbed my toe and it hurts

Sometimes my mom takes Prozac and tries to kill herself



Note to self: remember to put toilet seat down

Seriously id really appreaciate if you wrote my english paper

Wotm.jpg

David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.


Goatsehttp://www.goatse.cx
Noobaward.jpg

If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.


Congratulations to Rcmurphy, our Uncyclopedian of the Year!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006


WEBRING

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.


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