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Pagans don't believe!

They see the handiwork of their Gods in the creation that surrounds them!? Your faith is weak Jedi...--Sycamore (Talk) 18:11, September 7, 2010 (UTC)

Of course we pagans believe. However I have also recruited a new apprentice, Darth Ron, who is very much skilled at Mind Tricks For Teh Tunah! Just to thwart Jedi... -- DameViktoria Heart_anim.gif Grew up with a butler, cook and a nanny, she qualifies, doesn't she? - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 11:55, 30 Sep

Your article

I nommed one of your pages, but it's showing up in red. Are you a commie, is that why it's showing up in red? And maybe you can do an edit run on it, just to see if you want to add or change anything, for with age comes wisdom. Aleister 21:55 8 9

I fixed it, you missed the accent. Uncultured American pig dog. --ChiefjusticePS3 21:59, September 8, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks chief. I noticed that but my keyboard doesn't have one of those fancy high comma things, or else I've just never looked for or needed it. Aleister 22:01 8 9
Thank you very much, not maybe one of mine that I would have chosen ahead of others, but as long as it made you laugh I'm glad you've enjoyed it... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
People are storming the barricade lying that the article needs more substance. If you have few minutes out of your busy schedule please double the page with your wit and charm. I'd help you, but I have a busy schedule as well. Aleister 11:31 9 9

By the stars, it's empty in here

It needs filling up with some quality witticisms. Hope someone helps you with that. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 11:12, Sep 9

There's one more

This shit - Shoot your load on him... you know you want to...--Sycamore (Talk) 14:28, September 12, 2010 (UTC)


For nominating Bulimic Barbee™, which ought to be enough to stop you being one of the most unpopular girls in your school! However, we're sure you'll agree that unless you're in the top crowd™, you may as well be dead - and you're never going to achieve that when you weigh as much as you do. But never fear! Help™ is at hand! Simply quote the following code: 43874389imabigfatmoose when ordering your next bottle of Magic Slimming Powder™ and you'll get two bottles for the price of one! Now, if only they hadn't offered sausages in batter down your local chipshop on the same special offer, you wouldn't be in the situation you are now, crying yourself to sleep™ every night™ because you're so disgusting and fat and nobody likes you. Did you know you're the only virgin™ out of all the girls in your class, you ugly freak? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 15:52, September 16, 2010 (UTC)

I knew it

"If I build it, Mhaille will come". Nice. -- |c|o|d|e|i|n|e| 15:04, September 20, 2010 (UTC)

and I've so missed your gentle touch on some of my penis works... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Another crappy dust-gatherer to shove into the cupboard and forget about


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Kate bush leotard.jpeg Thank you

from Black flamingo & Sog for joining the Kate Bush fan club.

Now as promised, here is your own personal copy of that image,
to treasure forever.

And a special thanks for your long time dedication to Kate Bush! (i.e. starting the page in the first place) --Black Flamingo 17:10, September 27, 2010 (UTC)


Bet that hurts. ~Jewriken.GIF 09:29, September 28, 2010 (UTC)

Not as much as looking at that image above does, my jeans are way too tight... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)


quack quack quack quack quack. Quack.

User:Mrthejazz/sig 04:35, September 30, 2010 (UTC)

Ohai. I forgot to tell ya...

I put this thing up for a pee. Hope you don't mind much. It is there, and something might happen to it. Okay, toodles. -- DameViktoria Heart_anim.gif Grew up with a butler, cook and a nanny, she qualifies, doesn't she? - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 11:57, 30 Sep


I've got nothing to say to you. And I've said it very well, thusly. The other thing besides nothing, I've communicated with the user that you and RAHB think may be a sock since it got here, and "it" is a bot. That's right, a bot. Not a sock. I've corresponded with the tech-team and it's just a strange Intel/Microsoft experiment in sentinent behaviour via microchip technology. It writes well, expresses emotion, and even has a useful spellchecker module, and besides a tendency to run away (an unanticipated glitch in software related to the new Flailing--Fourwave linguistic array including level-i nanobot glitchfreeware--chip.) it is doing just fine. The chip has won Reviewer of the Month and just barely talked itself out of this month's uotm spot (another glitch, the developers had planned for it to win that award so that it could be listed in the next in-house funding and out-house grant requests). Anyways, just wanted to set your mind at ease. Nothing more to say, very well and how are you, good tidings yo. Aleister 16:30 11 10

Do what now? Also the only thing that RAHB and I agree on is all penis related... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
ghah, we KNOW!  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280.jpg ~  12 Oct 2010 ~ 05:02 (UTC)

Forum:Trim back the Oscar Wilde Project?

That was not a vote box in which you just voted! It was a cut-and-pasted copy of a past vote from the VFD archive. (Also, rare among Forums, no one was talking about quitting.) Please give us your historical perspective at the bottom of the page. Spıke ¬ 21:31 14-Oct-10

Who's your daddy?

Hey Dad, this: User:Luvvy/Sandbox/The Uncyclopedia Family Tree Project = who's your daddy's daddy?  Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* Happytimes.gif (talk) (stalk) Π   ~ Xkey280.jpg ~  20 Oct 2010 ~ 06:04 (UTC)

Silly request. Of sorts.

I had this horrible nightmare, where I was an admin on some site, but think I was having a bad dream, with the winged-monkey-bots and typewriters and stuff... I hope. Wanna pinch me? Maybe I just had a bad day at work, but I still feel sorta surreal... And Mordillo isn't around... :P (and the alcohol isn't helping) -- DameViktoria Heart_anim.gif Grew up with a butler, cook and a nanny, she qualifies, doesn't she? - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:01, 21 Oct


Should Kettlebell be written kettlebell in the article after the initial first use? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:36, October 23, 2010 (UTC)


For voting for Dreaming. Appreciated. I know you have some great dreams. That one time you dreamed that you had 40+ features, and the dancing girls, and the dog with the headset on. Good dreams. yjsmdl shsod (thanks again with the fingers shifted one to the right). Aleister 16:44 27 10

Hooray big winner!

Writer of the Year Award Writer of the Last 5.5 Years
I can think of few things more deserved. Now we can get on with giving WotY to someone else as per usual... --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 08:04, Oct 28
Its the Uncyclopedian Way. I'd like to thank all the people who have made this possible. Mostly me. I feel deeply honoured to receive such an award for my humble contributions from amongst so many very talented writers. Uncyclopedia has changed massively since my first visit to the site, some good, some bad, as with all things the site represents what we make of it as a collective. That we are all still here and still looking to improve the quality of articles deserves an award in itself. Here's to the next 5.5 years... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

"I was born under the sign of cancer..."

You are a bad man. Nice addition! --Black Flamingo 15:25, November 2, 2010 (UTC)

Thankyou very much...think the article stands a good chance of featuring and deserves it... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)


You made my day sir. I will be on my way as soon as I stop getting an Error 503 message... I will send UQG to his new home. I have you to thank! --Muhduckmuhduck.png|Fonchezzz| Quacking|Muhduckmuhduck2.png 19:08, November 3, 2010 (UTC)


They have made their appearance - do you think it fits, or is it an unnecessary addition? --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 10:38, Nov 4

That is as good as I expected it would be and rounds off the two sections nicely. Very impressed....think it smells of feature. And I do love the smell of feature in the morning. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
I'm just obliged to you for your fine contributions, and for nudging me towards finishing the damn thing! I may start easing myself back in to things gradually. To coin a phrase. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 11:13, Nov 4
Go away ghost! The p'wer of Christ compels you. The p'wer of Christ compels you. (or something like that). Begone, spirit. Aleister 21:37 6 11


'coons. Bringing smiles to my face. Even though an original exists, it takes the second person doing it to create a series. Nice. Aleister 21:35 6 11

Hopefully, despite the subject matter, its a little subtle in what its doing. I'm quite pleased with it so far... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
You are going to have to be extraordinary 'subtle' to pull this one off Mhaille. Is the subject matter worth it? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:50, November 7, 2010 (UTC)
Naysayer. I quote you thusly: "Nay". Historically, the pages so far are perfect. I haven't looked at it lately, but I'd suggest a page on the Selma Voting Rights Movement, see James Bevel (a very subtle page) for some good information on that. Aleister 15:00 7 11

Rolling Stone

  • Hey man. So I wrote this article for The Article Whisperer competition and then sort of forgot about it. But today I put it in the mainspace because I saw that someone else had made the page into a redirect. So anyway. If you can think of anything funny to add that would be just swell. Hope all is well, -- The Zombiebaron 19:39, November 7, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Apple reveal secret history of rock classics

All right, roll back my headline change--but do you see the problem? This is an UnNews headline, not merely a page title. It has to pretend to be news, and tell the reader what happened that he would be interested in (and perhaps why it might be a hoax). You might as well have titled it, UnNews:Here is a story about music and time travel. Give it some zing! Spıke ¬ 17:33 10-Nov-10

Sure, but "Apple reveal secret history of rock classics" looks like a news headline, which is why I chose it. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Well, a reader clicks on that only if he wants to know the secret history. But iPods in the 'Sixties? The reader wants to know, How the Hell...! Think tabloid! Spıke ¬ 18:56 10-Nov-10

Not looking to trample all over your toes but I do think my title is far more "newsy"... ;) -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Settled! except for you listing your orphaned redirect on QVFD. My toes don't ache, though I often rework headlines, fix datelines, etc. Other observations: I counted three times you referred to the crazed look on Jobs' face; perhaps intentional, but I think you are leading your reader. And the Sources, as this page claims to be, is a humor-free zone. An actual citation shows your reader the UnNews was based on something in the real world, whether or not he elects to click on it. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 19:15 10-Nov-10

The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball

Hey, I don't know if you want this.

This user was a judge in the November 2010 Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball!

But I made it incase any of the judges want it. I'm a judge to so... Ya. After the whole thing is said and done, I'll chavge it so it says: "This user was a judge in the 2010 Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball!".

Wow....and to think I made the original image for that all those years ago.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Yep, just think.... --Wanna see a magic trick? 16:03, November 15, 2010 (UTC)
I am doing...(tilts head like Zach Braff) -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Good 'cause that's what I said to do. --Wanna see a magic trick? 02:53, November 16, 2010 (UTC)

Suddenly, 'coons

I love the article, and will marry it shortly (or at least take it out to dinner), yet can't you do a third page of 'coons? This would mimic the original, which has four pages. As mentioned, the Selma Voting Rights Movement might be a perfect venue for a third page (the South and the U.S. were going along nicely until they acted up and got the vote). And, ah, dibs of "Suddenly Ra" /runs off to create page Aleister 12:00 18 11

I did consider the very same issue as a third page, but really didn't want to flog a joke to death. I am very tempted though.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Please flog, or Flap Flap (as Socky often puts it). It may bring a masterpiece into the realm of even more of a piece. Have you seen my James Bevel page, I've got some good data on the Selma thing there. If Shandon came around more often he'd have thoughts, strange thoughts but thoughts. 'coons. Aleister 12:11 18 11
Started an extra bit that I might work in.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
lolaotp (laughing out loud all over the place). Iz perfection. And I'd like to formally ask you if you'd participate in a collab on "Suddenly, Ra", the third in this honored series. I have asked Sog, Romartus, and Funnybony, as to do justice to such a page a gaggle of writers and photochoppers would be needed. Please, pretty please with Danish chocolate and the finest cheese from France on top. Aleister 13:20 18 11
i hate the article, though, so i'll vfd it. and then i'll vfs it so it is gonna be in every vf* --Poiz, teh Zork mastar! 14:05, November 18, 2010 (UTC)
If only there was some kind of way of blocking you from ever editing the site...--Sycamore (Talk) 14:07, November 18, 2010 (UTC)
Hi Poiz. Please see my comment on the nomination page. 'taint so bad. Thanks. Aleister 14:10 18 11
Don't sweat it. Looks like someone is writing a handy guide for people who wouldn't recognise satire if it came and took a dump on their heads. :) -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
  • uses huge obliderator beam on aleister, sycamore, and mhallie*--Poiz, teh Zork mastar! 15:32, November 18, 2010 (UTC)
Much love.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Suddenly, Al

Hi! Just logged on and saw you started Suddenly, Ra. Good take on the topic! I think a first screen on the subject might be the start of the Ra cult or religion in Egypt or the area, maybe a people in search of leadership or hope, a desperate class unable to cope in the heat of the desert without dreams of a higher power to guide them to the heights of tomb building, and then, blah blah blah, Suddenly, Ra. A third one, who knows? The fourth, of course, is the camel, which in this case is more appropriate than normal. Does this order seem okay, especially the third page? Aleister 10:52 24 11

I was thinking about having a 1930's occultist, Aleister, seeking to invoke an Egyptian Deity for the third one, the one I started I saw as probably more suitable for the second page. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Sullenly, raccoons? Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 11:51, Nov 24 2010 UTC
Also wondered if the last "camel" page could be someone that Ra had cursed, forced to ever walk the world as an even-toed ungulate appearing in Uncyclopedia articles? -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
You silly people and your Egyptian Gods. I guess I'll have to write Suddenly, Rack then. Someday. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 12:13, 24 November 2010
Good ideas, and I meant the ancient egyptian thing as the first page. Crowley would be fun to do. He worked on his egyptian stuff in the early first two decades of the 20th century, years before King Tut popped his head up, although he did the Thoth book in the mid '40s. Suddenly, Socky. Aleister 12:37 24 11
Do you know about the Suddenly, Event Horizon? Readers of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy will be aware of the analogy.--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 12:41, November 24, 2010 (UTC)
Not I, said the magpie. Have never read Adams' books for some odd reason, except for his animal extinction nonfiction. Aleister 12:50 24 11
Suddenly, Macaroons. Yum. --Black Flamingo 13:27, November 24, 2010 (UTC)
This explains it well enough: --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 22:01, November 24, 2010 (UTC)


I was just wondering... Your against vote here really confused me. What is "this sort of thing" referring to? Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 10:15, 27 November 2010

Father Ted. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
And Garfunkel. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 12:23, November 27, 2010 (UTC)
O_O Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 12:25, 27 November 2010


The world is forever in your debt. If you're interested, you can also vote at Uncyclopedia:Top10 10/Nov, for great justice and stuff. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 19:06, 5 December 2010

So... rats.

Should I construe your editing that article as an indication of your desire to help pull it out from a rather dismal state of being ignored? *kitty eyes* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 11:08, 9 December, 2010

Also, have we even met, so to speak? I mean, I'm not sure I've even come here before... so, ah... hi and stuff. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 11:09, 9 December, 2010
I'm just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe. I usually potter around the website adding a line here and a line there, hopefully helping to trigger an idea that inspires people to add some funny. If you don't want to use any of the additions or they don't sit with your idea feel free to remove them... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
No, no, thank you. It needs all the help it can get. Add or poke as much as you like to that one... 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 16:30, 9 December, 2010


Sexy motherf....

Yup, that's pretty much what I'm going to aim for with that one. Had the idea on the drive to work this morning, can't really write until hopefully this weekend but didn't want to lose it. Hope it could be a bit of fun! --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 11:14, Dec 9

Yeah....sometimes the silliest ideas grow into the funniest things. I had the idea for the Sexual Predator image whilst in the shower one morning... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
I wonder why... --ChiefjusticePS3 16:34, December 9, 2010 (UTC)


... for the kind words. And the award. Have a suitably festive non-denominational Winter break. --Sog1970 21:48, December 17, 2010 (UTC)

Doctor Livingstone I presume?

Who wants to know ya fanny?--Sycamore (Talk) 15:27, December 24, 2010 (UTC)

Help me move

Could you do me a favour and move this into mainspace for me? It won't let me move it over a redirect. Cheers. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  16:25, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

Looks like Mordillo already did it. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 16:40, 27 December 2010
Thanks Mr Dillo. Also, thank you Socky for making the revision history bit look prettier. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  16:49, December 27, 2010 (UTC)


Thanks for the feedback on Billinge and Merseyside, no idea idea what I'm doing but felt I needed to represent. --SaintJayJay 15:50, January 6, 2011 (UTC)

Ban me, you old fart

I need it. I think I told myself to take a break! -- DameViktoria Heart_anim.gif Grew up with a butler, cook and a nanny, she qualifies, doesn't she? - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 17:10, 10 Jan