- Monday, 04 Jun, 2007 Geology classes in Alabama now mandating alternative "Paul Bunyan" theory
- Tuesday, 14 Jun, 2011 Police raid gun shop; find guns
- Wednesday, 13 Dec, 2017 Tree-hugging liberal Jones slaughters sick pedo Moore in Alabama election
- Saturday, 12 Jan, 2013 Evil scientist arrested, confesses evil doings
- Saturday, 17 Jul, 2010 Variety show Hee Haw to make a comeback
- Friday, 04 Jun, 2010 Sweet smoking Messiah returns
- Sunday, 20 Jun, 2010 Alabaman's threat to violate violators goes to court
- Tuesday, 05 Jun, 2012 Mississippi Bans Dark Matter
- Saturday, 14 Jul, 2012 Mississippi abortionists licensed to kill
- Tuesday, 02 Oct, 2012 Roadkill Challenge: Kentucky-Chinese cuisine gets the Food Network competition treatment
- Tuesday, 10 May, 2011 Elvis flooded in Memphis
- Sunday, 22 May, 2011 Mississippi governor urges caution as river crests
- Thursday, 25 Mar, 2010 State of Mississippi finds out gays want to vote, cancels elections
- Saturday, 06 Mar, 2010 Alabama hospital launches controversial program
- Sunday, 26 Sep, 2010 Maxwell House beats Kentucky murder rap
- Tuesday, 03 Mar, 2009 Arrests made after drug dealers complain of fraud
- Saturday, 29 Nov, 2008 God refuses to commit to Kentucky
- Monday, 28 May, 2007 Monster pig shot in Alabama
- Sunday, 08 Jul, 2007 Man eats his own head
- Monday, 23 Jul, 2007 Misfired Nuke
- Thursday, 08 Feb, 2007 Tennessee to recognize Redneck as official state language
- Sunday, 07 Jan, 2007 Alabama okays latex bikinis
- Thursday, 01 Dec, 2011 Crippled Boy Arrested For Sitting During the Pledge of Allegiance
- Wednesday, 26 Jan, 2011 First Pet Rock passes away
- Thursday, 26 Feb, 2009 Louisiana Governor brazenly taunts volcanoes
- Sunday, 07 Feb, 2010 Super Bowl to feature platitudes, advertisements
- Saturday, 20 Apr, 2013 Justin Bieber upset over Waco explosion victims, hopes they were all his fans
- Tuesday, 03 Nov, 2020 Mystery of the Dollar Tree shit smears
- Wednesday, 30 Jan, 2013 Recovering New Orleans attempts to host Super Bowl
- Thursday, 22 Mar, 2012 Sandra Weisenheimer is dating
- Saturday, 04 Sep, 2010 Texas schoolbook committee approves "Anybody Can Be President" series
- Sunday, 11 Jul, 2010 Controversial book introduced to schools by Texas
- Monday, 19 Jul, 2010 Local man's malignant stomach tumor miraculously dissolves into fat
- Tuesday, 20 Apr, 2010 Where the streets are paved with handjobs
- Tuesday, 04 May, 2010 Bush I, Clinton join forces on Louisiana relief
- Wednesday, 19 May, 2010 Man Pumps Seabiscuit
- Saturday, 23 Feb, 2008 BOOYAH! Obama Makes Strong Showing in Texas Debate
- Tuesday, 02 Dec, 2008 Virgin Boss in Execution Bid
- Wednesday, 24 Dec, 2008 Woman suffers 28-hour supermarket ordeal
- Tuesday, 14 Nov, 2006 Texas no longer a state after OU football victory
- Thursday, 17 Oct, 2013 Big Tex is reborn! Run for the hills!
- Wednesday, 22 May, 2013 Oklahoma tornado: Banned songs list unveiled
- Tuesday, 22 May, 2012 University of Tex Ass promotes new academic program
- Saturday, 22 Jan, 2011 US running out of lethal-injection drugs
- Friday, 19 Aug, 2011 Rick Perrier's prowess: bribes central to success
- Saturday, 23 Jul, 2011 Goldfish killed in Mexico after ransom not paid
- Saturday, 03 Dec, 2011 Crippled Boy Found Guilty of Treason
- Tuesday, 10 Aug, 2010 Texas pols shun Obama
- Saturday, 05 Jun, 2010 Mexican drug cartel reportedly plotted to blow up Texas
- Thursday, 10 Dec, 2009 You little bastard, I'll kick your ass!
- Monday, 08 Feb, 2010 Voodoo to win the SuperBall
- Thursday, 18 Feb, 2010 Haiti frees American missionaries
- Friday, 19 Feb, 2010 Nut-job crashes into IRS; America points fingers
- Wednesday, 06 Jan, 2010 Particle Decelerator test run proves successful
- Sunday, 06 Sep, 2009 Texas man asks wife to cry rape
- Saturday, 15 Aug, 2009 Squeaky discriminated against
- Sunday, 08 Nov, 2009 Texas implements harsh measures against chupacabras
- Tuesday, 10 Mar, 2009 Falling metal had "Earthly origin"
- Thursday, 12 Mar, 2009 Klansman's home targeted by gunman
- Saturday, 01 Dec, 2007 Man killed by Trouser Snake
- Saturday, 08 Dec, 2007 Former Science Director burnt at stake for believing in Evolution
- Monday, 17 Dec, 2007 Tragedy Strikes Texas
- Thursday, 29 Nov, 2007 US police file "false beard" ban lawsuit
- Thursday, 10 Apr, 2008 Polygamous cults "grant women life-long great hair"
- Saturday, 28 Jun, 2008 Louisiana passes "academic freedom" law
- Sunday, 22 Jun, 2008 Oklahoma Declares Sovereignty: Nobody Cares
- Saturday, 05 Jan, 2008 Oklahoma City bans food
- Sunday, 07 Feb, 2010 Super Bowl to feature platitudes, advertisements
- Saturday, 10 Sep, 2005 Joan of Arc, Maid of New Orleans
- Wednesday, 30 Jan, 2013 Recovering New Orleans attempts to host Super Bowl
- Wednesday, 28 Dec, 2011 Atlanta Falcons sue New Orleans
- Tuesday, 20 Apr, 2010 Where the streets are paved with handjobs
- Tuesday, 04 Sep, 2007 Army Corps in New Orleans meets bump in the road to rebuilding
- Sunday, 01 Aug, 2010 Diaper Use Criticized
- Monday, 08 Feb, 2010 Voodoo to win the SuperBall
- Thursday, 31 Jan, 2013 CBS nervous over potential Super Bowl Nippocalypse
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