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| Donald Trump announces military project to build Landkreuzer P. 1000 Ratte tanks | 06:17, 22 February 2025 |
| Taco Bell to rebrand as Burger Bell | 13:41, 12 February 2025 |
| McDonald's food could be a public health hazard | 14:11, 30 January 2025 |
| Elon Musk does Nazi salute, to surprise to absolutely nobody | 03:36, 22 January 2025 |
| We asked our readers what they do with horrid itchy Christmas sweaters | 22:30, 17 January 2025 |
| Donald Trump accidentally sets California ablaze after consuming a gas station burrito | 17:45, 11 January 2025 |
| Drunk pink elephant sees man at New Years' party | 19:53, 31 December 2024 |
| Trump just won, so here's a special HowTo about dealing with the hard times that are coming | 15:51, 9 December 2024 |
| Five Kids found missing in a Chuck E. Cheese Location | 17:49, 8 December 2024 |
| OH MY GOD WHAT THE FREAK | 15:24, 8 November 2024 |
| Cleveland Browns jilt Baker Mayfield for Deshaun Watson, ignoring all red flags | 20:11, 25 October 2024 |
| Studies show that 10 out of 9 people can't use a number line | 15:52, 16 October 2024 |
| Mr. Beast actually professional fraudster | 16:10, 22 September 2024 |
| UnNews reviews Ed Sheeran's new album | 13:07, 17 September 2024 |
| XFL to launch franchises in pissed off markets | 14:55, 17 August 2024 |
| Sam Smith's family thank fans | 14:34, 17 August 2024 |
| Survey: The Sexiest Children's Television Stars | 17:59, 16 August 2024 |
| Biden drops out, Harris now worth something | 17:07, 5 August 2024 |
| Trump gets shot | 16:33, 2 August 2024 |
| 500 gigabytes of hentai found inside of Tesla's "Full Self Driving" source code | 20:41, 28 July 2024 |
| Michael Jackson back on Earth | 21:54, 23 July 2024 |
| Gang warfare now in Houston due to Hurricane Beryl | 17:39, 18 July 2024 |
| Trump selling even more merch to pay for campaign | 16:02, 14 July 2024 |
| Americans preparing for Independence Day | 13:04, 12 July 2024 |
| God deluges Southern Florida in rain | 01:36, 13 June 2024 |
| Insurance companies give middle-finger to Florida | 12:59, 20 May 2024 |
| Amber Heard found to literally be a turd | 01:20, 17 May 2024 |
| Afroman announces VP in successful campaign | 04:59, 13 May 2024 |
| UnSports NFL update: 2023 belated mid-season edition | 17:04, 10 December 2023 |
| Don King sells tickets to Muhammed Ali's funeral | 05:42, 12 November 2023 |
| Thousands of parents arrested on child abuse charges after opening holiday gifts | 16:21, 3 October 2023 |
| PBS Kids debuts disruptive lower third logo | 16:21, 3 October 2023 |
| Meet the voice behind Omnitrans | 16:19, 28 September 2023 |
| US thrilled over pleasant execution | 18:38, 17 August 2023 |
| "Starve the Beast", Trump says | 12:47, 14 July 2023 |
| US to fight robot uprising | 12:40, 14 July 2023 |
| Trump's vocabulary reaches 50 words | 12:38, 14 July 2023 |
| Republicans spite liberals with festive stimulus package | 12:20, 14 July 2023 |
| How Donald Trump can save his presidency | 12:12, 14 July 2023 |
| Donald Trump nominated for UGoTM, gets pissed off | 12:07, 14 July 2023 |
| Flat earthers 'do not exist' | 23:00, 12 July 2023 |
| Queen's Coronavirus address in full | 01:30, 12 July 2023 |
| Kate Bush stuns fans with sweary punk set | 16:44, 8 June 2023 |
| Everyone who hates ice bucket challenge donating money to charity | 16:38, 8 June 2023 |
| Gay NFL player dropped for being 'all gay and shit' | 16:37, 8 June 2023 |
| House Considers Cop Smelling Weed Law | 16:56, 16 May 2023 |
| Musk ends Pornhub takeover citing fake stepmom concerns | 14:26, 5 May 2023 |
| United States prepares to invade Mexico | 22:53, 2 May 2023 |
| Christina Chandler announces her candidacy | 02:26, 26 February 2023 |
| 10 facts you didn't know about George Michael | 14:52, 11 December 2022 |
