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| Uncyclopedia Server narrowly escapes deportation in miraculous jailbreak | 18:49, 5 February 2026 |
| Trump still wants Greenland; Wall Street shits itself | 15:52, 3 February 2026 |
| UnSports NFL update: 2023 belated mid-season edition | 01:37, 30 January 2026 |
| RFK Jr. fat-shames Annoying Orange | 10:36, 28 January 2026 |
| STOP THE PRESSES! ROCKIES WIN! | 12:42, 26 January 2026 |
| Christina Chandler announces her candidacy | 09:03, 26 January 2026 |
| Alfred Kahn's apology to the 4kids fans | 00:14, 26 January 2026 |
| ICE agents sighted confiscating ice cream from American citizens | 10:41, 24 January 2026 |
| Insurance companies give middle-finger to Florida | 02:01, 24 January 2026 |
| Man wins Most Oblivious Human award | 00:10, 20 January 2026 |
| Queen's Coronavirus address in full | 21:27, 18 January 2026 |
| "Starve the Beast", Trump says | 21:26, 18 January 2026 |
| Sheen caught HIV from tiger blood | 17:04, 18 January 2026 |
| Sanders promises "fully-automated gay luxury space communism" at rally | 01:39, 17 January 2026 |
| Media celebrates Connecticut mass murder | 22:34, 16 January 2026 |
| Adam Lanza Death Toll over 30,000 per day | 22:22, 16 January 2026 |
| Guy who gets Absolutely Zero Pussy Affirms Logic and Reason | 03:00, 16 January 2026 |
| Obama team blames Burma kiss on 'fatigue' | 12:46, 14 January 2026 |
| Obama forgets sister's holiday | 15:02, 11 January 2026 |
| Conversion therapy leader admits to male practice; closes facility | 14:57, 11 January 2026 |
| Everyone suddenly a fucking gorilla expert | 05:41, 9 January 2026 |
| Bat Boy a victim of testicle molester | 19:40, 25 December 2025 |
| We asked our readers what they do with horrid itchy Christmas sweaters | 18:57, 15 December 2025 |
| SOMEBODY'S POISONED THE WATERHOLE!!!! | 00:34, 12 December 2025 |
| Anna Paquin: confused about her sexuality | 16:09, 10 December 2025 |
| Controversial gay admits to Christian feelings | 10:52, 8 December 2025 |
| Feliz Navidad 2012 | 06:39, 6 December 2025 |
| DeSantis signs Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs | 07:31, 26 November 2025 |
| A new candidate enters 2028 Presidential race | 18:23, 20 November 2025 |
| Trump kills the penny | 16:38, 17 November 2025 |
| Flat earthers 'do not exist' | 16:34, 13 November 2025 |
| Over 1000 flights cancelled due to US government shutdown | 15:16, 9 November 2025 |
| South Park Creators nominated for Nobel Peace Prize | 03:30, 29 October 2025 |
| Farage to become Irish citizen | 03:09, 28 October 2025 |
| Sheeranism becomes legally recognized in the United States | 21:39, 20 October 2025 |
| Ashley St. Clair outlives her usefulness | 05:26, 19 October 2025 |
| US Government shits itself | 20:09, 18 October 2025 |
| Man eats salmon sliders, doesn't know they're basically salmon burgers | 15:58, 13 October 2025 |
| Trump declares war on escalators | 15:23, 25 September 2025 |
| Donald Trump presents new science project to Cabinet | 19:19, 19 September 2025 |
| Michelle Obama, the First Lady of fashion | 21:29, 20 August 2025 |
| Republican Party Homophobic | 14:09, 4 August 2025 |
| Cameron: Let's all move to Spain | 23:37, 30 July 2025 |
| I got Queen to fap - Cameron | 23:35, 30 July 2025 |
| May: I want Labour to have NO seats | 23:15, 30 July 2025 |
| US to fight robot uprising | 20:17, 28 July 2025 |
| Donald Trump promises liberation to all kitchen appliances | 05:35, 21 July 2025 |
| Donald Trump announces military project to build Landkreuzer P. 1000 Ratte tanks | 05:34, 21 July 2025 |
| CDC announces wonderful plan to prove vaccines cause autism | 05:28, 21 July 2025 |
| Musk launches 2028 presidential bid under newly formed "Porky Pig Party" | 04:59, 4 July 2025 |
