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| SOMEBODY'S POISONED THE WATERHOLE!!!! | 00:34, 12 December 2025 |
| ICE agents sighted confiscating ice cream from American citizens | 18:57, 11 December 2025 |
| Anna Paquin: confused about her sexuality | 16:09, 10 December 2025 |
| Controversial gay admits to Christian feelings | 10:52, 8 December 2025 |
| Feliz Navidad 2012 | 06:39, 6 December 2025 |
| DeSantis signs Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs | 07:31, 26 November 2025 |
| A new candidate enters 2028 Presidential race | 18:23, 20 November 2025 |
| Trump kills the penny | 16:38, 17 November 2025 |
| Flat earthers 'do not exist' | 16:34, 13 November 2025 |
| Over 1000 flights cancelled due to US government shutdown | 15:16, 9 November 2025 |
| South Park Creators nominated for Nobel Peace Prize | 03:30, 29 October 2025 |
| Farage to become Irish citizen | 03:09, 28 October 2025 |
| Sheeranism becomes legally recognized in the United States | 21:39, 20 October 2025 |
| Ashley St. Clair outlives her usefulness | 05:26, 19 October 2025 |
| US Government shits itself | 20:09, 18 October 2025 |
| Man eats salmon sliders, doesn't know they're basically salmon burgers | 15:58, 13 October 2025 |
| Trump declares war on escalators | 15:23, 25 September 2025 |
| Donald Trump presents new science project to Cabinet | 19:19, 19 September 2025 |
| Michelle Obama, the First Lady of fashion | 21:29, 20 August 2025 |
| Republican Party Homophobic | 14:09, 4 August 2025 |
| Cameron: Let's all move to Spain | 23:37, 30 July 2025 |
| I got Queen to fap - Cameron | 23:35, 30 July 2025 |
| May: I want Labour to have NO seats | 23:15, 30 July 2025 |
| US to fight robot uprising | 20:17, 28 July 2025 |
| Donald Trump promises liberation to all kitchen appliances | 05:35, 21 July 2025 |
| Donald Trump announces military project to build Landkreuzer P. 1000 Ratte tanks | 05:34, 21 July 2025 |
| CDC announces wonderful plan to prove vaccines cause autism | 05:28, 21 July 2025 |
| Musk launches 2028 presidential bid under newly formed "Porky Pig Party" | 04:59, 4 July 2025 |
| Elon Musk files for divorce with Donald Trump | 06:53, 18 June 2025 |
| Donald Trump accidentally sets California ablaze after consuming a gas station burrito | 22:47, 12 June 2025 |
| STOP THE PRESSES! ROCKIES WIN! | 17:33, 5 June 2025 |
| "Starve the Beast", Trump says | 08:36, 5 June 2025 |
| Everyone suddenly a fucking gorilla expert | 15:44, 1 June 2025 |
| We asked our readers if they think Trump is breaking the law | 00:31, 5 May 2025 |
| PBS and NPR too woke to deserve funding | 17:55, 2 May 2025 |
| Donald Trump nominated for UGoTM, gets pissed off | 13:26, 1 May 2025 |
| Kardashian and Ye do washed up things | 15:34, 30 April 2025 |
| Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him | 04:04, 28 April 2025 |
| Guy who gets Absolutely Zero Pussy Affirms Logic and Reason | 19:53, 25 April 2025 |
| House Considers Cop Smelling Weed Law | 18:03, 25 April 2025 |
| Trump awarded prestigious award by Greenpeace | 05:42, 23 April 2025 |
| Biden drops out, Harris now worth something | 23:53, 21 April 2025 |
| Ms. Rachel detained and deported by ICE | 04:31, 16 April 2025 |
| US agreed to join Canada as 11th Province | 00:11, 12 April 2025 |
| Trump just won, so here's a special HowTo about dealing with the hard times that are coming | 17:08, 27 March 2025 |
| Robert F. Kennedy Jr. eats every last panda | 16:30, 26 March 2025 |
| Elon Musk does Nazi salute, to surprise to absolutely nobody | 14:17, 18 March 2025 |
| We asked our readers what they do with horrid itchy Christmas sweaters | 06:40, 1 March 2025 |
| Taco Bell to rebrand as Burger Bell | 13:41, 12 February 2025 |
| McDonald's food could be a public health hazard | 14:11, 30 January 2025 |
