UnNews:Gang warfare now in Houston due to Hurricane Beryl
|
This article is part of the UnNews Weather Service, your source for up-to-the-minute (brain) fog. |
HOUSTON, TEXAS
Wednesday, July 17, 2024
In the wake of Hurricane Beryl's devastating landfall in Houston, the city has degenerated into a state of gang violence and chaos. What was anticipated to be a period of recovery has instead turned into a nightmare as rival pastor-led gangs vie for control of the nation. Local authorities, already strained by the hurricane's aftermath, are now grappling with a surge in violent crime across neighborhoods. Reports of shootings, looting, and arson have become alarmingly frequent, with gangsters in Compton allegedly moving to Houston to claim land. This has been compared to the effects of Hurricane Katrina on New Orleans, only this time, it's whites.
Despite the attempts of some linemen to restore power and order, many of them have mysteriously disappeared, with some estimates claiming that only an extremely concerning 10% have survived. In one of these cases, police arrested Anthony Leonard, an armed man, as he threw rocks and pointed a gun at a group of CenterPoint Energy workers who were desperately trying to restore power. Some claim that he was told to do it by a pastor located in Northern Houston.
“We’ve had guys who have had guns pulled on them, we’ve got guys who have had rocks picked up and slung at them. I had a crew out in Sugarland, they had guys, with AK-47′s standing across from them. Never pointed it at them but menacing them,” a CenterPoint worker bemoaned before mysteriously disappearing when we looked away from him. Emergency services, already stretched thin by the power outages, are now forced to navigate through hazardous conditions compounded by rednecks who will shoot you for no reason. With power outages and damaged infrastructure hindering communication and transportation, response times have been severely affected.
In response to all of this, Ted Cruz and Greg Abbott have announced that they will not care about the situation, instead taking vacations to Mexico to "...think about it." As of now, nothing has been drafted to solve it. However, some of the pastors have offered to sue for peace for a ransom, which according to sources, would give them over $9,000 each. According to researchers, this has been the 264th time this has happened due to a blackout...since 2019.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "We are better than this:’ Officials call for end to violence, threats against linemen working to restore power" Click2Orlando, July 17, 2024
- "Texas ranks first in power outages in last 5 years, report finds" Houston Chronicle, March 12, 2024