UnNews:Evil scientist arrested, confesses evil doings
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
12 January 2013
Memphis, Tennessee -- It was around 7:30 AM when po pos began surrounding mad scientist Dr. Upton O'Good's lab where he was conducting malicious experiments. "I wasn't making any nukes, and I wasn't making any paranormal apocalypse beings," states the doctor, "However, the bad things other than that are all on me my good sirs."
It wasn't the first time he was suspected for evil doings. In July of 2011, Dr. Upton O'Good was caught genetically fusing DNA to create living versions of his favorite Star Wars characters for his personal use. Lord knows what he would have done.
This time, action is being taken. He will serve a year in jail with three hundred hours of probation, with no chance of appeal. He was charged with "Witchcraft and sucking dick," which we can all assume was something he did.
Dr. Upton O'Good is being held in some prison in South Carolina, in solitary confinement for the first week of his jail time. Reports say that this is all necessary and none of the actions toward the Dr. is excessive and injust.
