Babel:OW

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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 38,312 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

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Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

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Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

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In a series of declassified documents containing accounts of wars, rumors of wars, and battles that have no victors or defeated opponents or worldwide destruction that can be defined by any costs or empires captured, there is a hearty bunch of terrified witness to the fact that Cthulhu was a main concern for the multibillionaire corporation known as the Government of the United States. While there does seem to be a list of who was involved directly in the dismantling of the beast known as Mister Squid Face, it's unclear how many from the corporation of the United States had been assigned the task of the impossible conquest to take down an ancient Slime Lord that's been nothing but trouble. (Full article...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks

Why was I born with such contemporaries?

One way to assure Lightning Awareness is to be struck by it

November 12: Lightning Awareness Day

  • 1513 - In one of his lesser known works, "Mein Scheisskampf", Martin Luther claims to have gotten into a battle with the devil, flinging his "Scheisse" as a weapon. No shit.
  • 1620 - A number of pirates shipwreck on a gigantic rock off the Massachusetts coast. In a measure to combat cannibalism amongst the surviving members, the Mayflower Compact is signed. In the end, however, nine are eaten with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
  • 1775 - American Revolutionary War: The Continental Congress passes a resolution creating two battalions of mimes, later renamed the United States Mime Corps. They are primarily used as human shields.
  • 1880 - Ned Kelly is hanged in Australia for beating around the bush.
  • 1996 - The Paris Hilton opens for its first customer.


The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


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Kim Kardashian gets ready for a facial

Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons
Recent deaths: Yahya Sinwar • Eurovision Song Contest • Quincy Jones • The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet • American Democrat sea.. err, democracy • Tony Todd
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • The Dallas Cowboys', New York Jets', and Chicago Bears' playoff chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Coldplay


Today in London

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.


Read on

This Month's Wit

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

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