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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 39,305 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

Browse:

Stories | Delightful People | Famous Quotes | Abnormal People | Quite Quaint | Coherent
Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...


Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

wilde.jpg

Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p
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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p

(Full article...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

How irrational.

March 14: American π Day

  • 27 AD - Greeks fight valiantly against Russell Crowe in a vast gladiatorial event to define π as the ratio of the circumference of a circle divided by its radius.
  • 435 AD - Pope Sixtus III denouces π, claiming it to be the work of Satan, as a number which never ends seems too cruel for a loving God to have made.
  • 1603 - "American" Apple pie actually invented by the Aztecs, used as aphrodisiac.
  • 1707 - The Physics Act of 1707 defines π to be 22/7, which scientists of the era proclaim as close enough.
  • 1891 - The pie chart is first invented, sadly, the original prototype has long since been eaten. Future pie charts are now inedible.
  • 2004 - The day Krabs fries
  • 2005 - The Kansas Board of Education restores pi to its traditional value of three and a bit, stating, "Certain features of the universe are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as mathematics."
  • 2020 - A resident of New York City passes away after contracting the π virus.


The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


MummyPig.jpg
Latest photo from the alleged adulterer's Instagram profile.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VIEurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrantsTaylor Swift's very unlucky, no good yearDOGE firings and budget cuts • The Oscars • Hackman investigation

Recent deaths: The Department of JusticeMichelle TrachtenbergGene Hackman, wife and dog, tooSkypeKingda Ka • David Johansen, The New York Dolls, and Buster Poindexter • Amiright/Inthe00s • UnSpoiler and BeGone extensionsSpace Ghost • Everyone's assumption that Millie Bobby Brown is her real name • Tesla's stock • Bob Rivers

Upcoming deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Law and order in PhiladelphiaJay‑Z's career and freedomLuigi MangioneKate MiddletonYour New Year's resolutionsLos AngelesLaura PalmerDEI, for better or for worsePope Francis


Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ...that your fly is unzipped?


Read on

This Month's Wit

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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