Babel:Nk
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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 40,622 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution.
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Today's Party Column Joshua Patrick "Fucking" Allen is an American hero playing quarterback for the Buffalo Bills and, depending on whom you ask, either God's gift to football or the biggest dunce on the planet. But those who call him a dunce are fuckin' Jabroni's. If you keep slandering the man, you haven't seen him sling the football around. Who cares if he had only a 45% completion rate in high school, or a 51% completion rate in his rookie year? His rookie year? Come on, stats are for losers. The man puts his team on his back and with that howitzer of an arm and running ability of a bear, watch out. He will impregnate every man and woman alike in the stadium with his mind-blowing play. Josh Allen looks good in shorts. Oh, and he managed to help Buffalo win a bunch of games and played college ball in Wyoming of all places. But due to Patrick Mahomes simply existing, he still hasn't been to a Super Bowl. What a chad. Or dummy. Depending on who you ask. NFL Films calls him the "Winter Soldier", but no one knows where that nickname came from. Purportedly. (Full article...) Recently featured: You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device Our glorious history September 8: International Precision Day
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Today in the DPRK
 All taxes, all vape, all Rayner.
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Hamas "peace talks" • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • SNL cast exodus • K-pop: The Movie • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys Recent deaths: Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR • Cartoon Network on Comcast's basic cable package • Sydney Sweeney's new movie • Terence Stamp • The Devil's Rejects Unrated Director's Cut 4K (also Saw 2 & 3) Upcoming deaths: DEI • R. Kelly and Bryan Kohberger in jail • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Dallas Cowboys' season • MSNBC • Lil Nas X • Donald Trump, either by angry cartel members, "meanie judges", or (finally) releasing the Epstein files It is an irreputable fact...
You cannot deny...[edit source]
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Party members of the month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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