User:Mnbvcxz/Christian Left

This sexy pregnant woman has been inserted to reduce the the liberal bias of the article

How do images of pregnant women reduce liberal bias, you ask? Simple, gays, Jews, and other liberals don't like looking at half naked pregnant women

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Oxymoron?

The Christian Left is the political and religious counterpart to the Christian Right. It has been called heretical and conservative Christians have called for the execution of anyone adhering to this doctrine of blasphamous beliefs. It mixes left-wing economic views with Christian faith; two things, according to the Christian right, that should never go together (much like a penis and an anus). Members of the Christian Left see it as their spiritual duty as Christians to look after the poor and weak. Many Liberal Christians are also Christian leftists but some on the Christian Left still have some conservative social views, especially on abortion. It has been criticized as blasphamous by the Christian Right because of its emphasis on social issues rather than reproductive issues. Conservative Christians see stopping people from procreating as a much more important issue than helping poor people, saving the planet, or preventing war.

Views

While heterosexual males like looking at pregnant women holding their own boobs

Monica Bellucci showing why abortion is teh suxxors

If liberals didn't choose to be gay, they wouldn't find this unattractive

Look, its a woman using her reproductive organs to make babies! That's hawt.

In addition to scaring away the gay people, these images keep conservatives from reading the ranting and blasphemous text to the right

Seriously, I bet you just looked at these images, and maybe read their captions, while ignoring the text to the right, if you're straight, that is.

Evolution

Most on the Christian Left are supportive of evolution. They view Genesis as a fairy tale and reject God's literal truth of origins. These blasphmous heathens claim that young-earth creationism flies in the face of mountains of evidence from astronomy, biology, chemistry, genetics, and geology. But we all know that those fossils were put there by God and radiocarbon dating is wrong. Anything that contradicts the Bible is evil and anyone whose beliefs deviate from this strict literal intrepretation is hell-bound.

Global Warming

Members of the Christian Left unanomously accept global warming as a fact and believe that we are in the midst of a major climate catastrophe. They ask "what would Jesus do" and believe themselves to be doing God's work by helping the environment. They have been accused by the Christian Right of selling out to the liberal hippies. They state that today the Christian Left will be supporting global warming, tomorrow it will be NAMBLA.

Stem Cell Research

The Christian Left supports stem-cell research because it will help alleviate suffering (something the Christian Right is opposed to). Christian leftists believe that an undifferentiated cell does not have the same value as a fully formed human-being (The Christian Right holds the opposite view). The Christian Right state that today its research on embryos, tomorrow it will be scientists growing human body farms.

Homosexuality

Views on homosexuality are mixed in the Christian Left. Some support it while others disagree with it. All Christian leftists agree though, that there are much more pressing issues to deal with in the world than homosexuality. The acceptance or at least the tolerance of homosexuality by the so called Christian Left infuriates all true Christians. Homosexuality is one of the top issues that Christians should concern themselves with. Much more so than war, poverty, and the environment (all liberal hippy issues). The reason we know this is plainly laid out in the Bible and is explained by our great leaders such as Fred Phelps.

War

Christian Leftists are generally opposed to war because they are a bunch of cowardly traitors. Many are pacifists that are against war in all circumstances and see it as immoral. Others are in favour of war if it is for a so-called good cause and is justifiable. Liberals are such whiners. What constitutes a good cause, according to these left-wing hippies includes liberating people from tyranny, stopping human rights abuses, and defending yourself from aggression. What doesn't constitute a good cause includes liberating resources from their rightful owners, killing innocent civilians, and awarding military contracts to your friends (what the hell is wrong with that). All Christian leftists are against pre-emptive war which means they are against President Bush which makes them Anti-American. Christian leftists do not believe in blindly following your government into war, they question authority just like Jesus did but thats different because Jesus is always on the side of the government.

Sex

Christian leftists encourage sexual responsibility and don't promote promescuity (despite rhetoric from the Christian Right that says they do). They are not against chastity but they recognize that sex is a natural desire and is not sinful. They support a person's right to procreate but encourage it to be done in a responsible manner. They see sex as God's greatest gift to humankind rather than a perverted sin. The Christian Right characterizes the Christian Left's view of sex as being with anyone anytime including babies, old people, and animals. The Christian Left replies that this is bullshit and that the only reason the Christian Right is so obsessed with sex is because they are not allowed to have any.

Abortion

Christian leftists are split on the issue of abortion. Although they support women's rights, Christian leftists do see a fetus as a living being. Christian Leftists are often Pro-Life meaning they are opposed to abortion, the death penalty, and war (this contrasts with the Christian right who really only support abortion to control women's reproduction, not to save lives as their positions on other issues are Pro-Death). They generally support it politically but may personally oppose it. All Christian leftists agree that birth control should be used justifying it by saying that everything should be done to prevent unwanted pregnancy so a person doesn't have to make the difficult choice to have an abortion. The real reason they support birth control is because they not only support unchaste behaviour that actually encourage it, especially to young people, who they indoctrinate with their perverted ideology.

Poverty

Christian leftists see it as their duty to give to the poor. They cite Jesus' generousity towards those with nothing as an example to follow. They cite biblical verses to support their beliefs but Christian rightists say that these verses are not meant to be taken literally. This differs from the verses on origins and on the prohibition on homosexuality and premaritial sex which is to be followed to the letter.

Censorship

Christian leftists are opposed to censorship even of things they disagree with. This sets them apart from radical Muslims or the Christian right who get their panties in a bunch every time someone makes fun of their religion. Christian leftists just take it in stride knowing that someone who created the entire universe isn't going to be offended by the gruntings of some hairless ape. Christian leftists believe that censorship is imposed by totalitarian regimes to control the populace and therefore it should be done away with. They believe it is a parents responsibility to shield children from violent and questionable material and not the governments.

Healthcare

Most Christian leftists support universal healthcare because they believe that healthcare is a God-given right. Although Christian leftists believe the government should stay out of people's personal lives, they believe that they should be there to provide the basic necessasities of life. This constrasts with the view of the Christian right which states that you must do as the government tells you but don't expect any help. Christian leftists believe that people have a responsibility to keep themselves healthy but recognize that anyone can get sick or hurt and that a good medical system should be in place to help people when they need it.

Criticism of the Christian Left by the Christian Right

While some on the Christian Left hold traditional views such as opposition to homosexuality and premaritial sex; they see world peace, social justice, and the aversion of a global climate crisis as much more pressing moral issues than teens fornicating or gays sodomoizing each other. Conservative Christians such as Pat Robertson and Fred Phelps have accused Christian leftists of being communists and of being fag-enablers because of their downplay of homosexuality and fornication. Christian leftists counter that in the grand scheme of things; global warming, war, and poverty hurt more people than fornication and homosexuality. Even some evangelical Christians have made a move to the left. Traditional Christians scoff at this notion saying that global warming, poverty, and war are "leftist-liberal-hippy" issues and that real Christians need to concentrate more on REAL issues such as blocking stem-cell research, preventing evolution from being taught in public schools, preventing teens from fornicating, and persecuting gays. Fred Phelps says that "God will destroy America unless they repent and stop their fag-enabling". Pat Robertson added that Christian Democracy and Christian Socialism are blasphamous belief systems; "Jesus is a spirtitual saviour, not a social one. Poor people are poor because they immoral and they are facing God's divine wrath". Robertson went on to explain that peace, justice, and mercy are not compatible with the Christian faith and that Jesus instead taught "chastity, heterosexuality, and obeidience. Any deviance from these three is an affront to God".

Notable Christian Leftists

• Jimmy Carter
• Hugo Chavez
• Jesus Christ
• Stephen Colbert
• Tommy Douglas
• Al Gore
• Jesse Jackson
• Martin Luther King
• Barack Obama
• Pope John Paul II
• Bill Clinton

See Also

• Liberal Christianity
• Christian Right