Talk:Jew/Colonization

Let's get to work! I'ma finish my rounds and then come back with some ideas. —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:58, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

I say we go with a 'jews did the holocaust' angle. IT WAS ALL A ZIONIST CONSPIRACY TO MAKE PEOPLE HATE GERMANS! OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE! THE TRUTH IS ALL AROUND US! - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 01:02, Mar 2

Aye. Cute. I like. —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:05, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

I support TLB's idea as a part of a larger "Jews have had the most suffering out of all the races, but the thing is they've covertly caused it all themselves!!" theme. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 03:46, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Moments of suffering:

1. Slavery in Egypt
2. Haman and Purim
3. Babylonian Captivity (this can be easily explained; the ancient Israelites got fed up with living in barren Judea, took a look across the river at beautiful Babylonia, and staged a mass exodus into the empire)
4. Crusades
5. The Holocaust

Perhaps this could all be connected to the stereotype of Jewish greed. For example, Jews are well versed in economics and organized their masochistic atrocities based upon the law of scarcity: that when a product is rare in quantity, its value rises. Therefore, the Jews were behind these horrible things to raise their own values as human beings. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 03:53, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Supply and demand! Of course! Now it all makes sense... - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 04:29, Mar 2

That...is...genius. —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:20, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Don't forget the Gaza Massacre. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 16:26, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

The what? —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:16, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Am I sensing some Gaza Massacre denial? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 22:03, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Some what? —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:23, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Is this Gaza Massacre denial denial I am perceiving? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 22:26, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Too easy

That would be just going alongside with the normal way Jews are described. We need something original, not just replaying the thing that every so called joke site is playing. Also, the Egyptian/Purim angle - I dealt with it as part of Jewish Holidays. ~ 16:30, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

I suppose we just have to listen to the actual Jew... —Sir SysRq (talk) 16:53, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

TKF is an actual Jew as well, even if his Hebrew is not as fluent as mine :). ~ 17:03, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

I knew that, I just assumed that you were more Jewish than him. I think I heard he's like a level seven Jew and you're up there in the teens. Then there's Modus, still trying to get out of level three Judaism. —Sir SysRq (talk) 17:33, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

We should talk about how Jews are trying to take over the world, annihilating anybody that stands in their way. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 17:05, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

I still think the supply and demand angle of atrocities is golden. Sure, it's very easy to do, but we shouldn't make concept creation too difficult for ourselves, and if it's easy AND funny, why shouldn't we do it? -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 18:01, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

I agree, but we should also mention the suppression of the Palestinians somehow. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 18:57, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

That is something for the Israeli article, not for the Jewish one, even though I utterly hate bringing Middle East politics into here. ~ 19:20, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Yarr. This be more about just the Jews in general, not so much the Middle East. While we're on the topic, however, how 'bout them Palestinians? —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:21, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

i agree that we shouldn't do something that the average reader would see as just playing off of jokes that have been done before. maybe a narrative of jewish history, as told by an elderly jewish man? just bouncing other options around here. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 22:28, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

I say we just do whatever will convince Mordillo to help us write it. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:33, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

What? I only wrote like a gazillion Jewish related articles. But I like Gerry's offer. It's original for one! ~ 22:36, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, I'm just saying that for an idea like that one, Mordillo is the one that needs to take the lead there. I'd have no idea what I was doing. Seeing as how Mordillo actually is an elderly Jewish man, he'd be better for it. And I do like the idea, Ger, so long as Mordillo helps. =) —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:46, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

I like the idea, but I have no idea how to write that stereotypical elderly jewish person accent into an article...you know, with the oy vey and the eat, eat, you're skin and bones and the sit down child and let me tell you the story of passover... - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 22:57, Mar 2

Where, exactly, I ask, has my idea for the concept been done before on this wiki? -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 00:11, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

not necessarily on this wiki, froggy, but i feel like 'who did the holocaust? ...the jews!' would be spottable from far off. but i'm not saying i have a better idea, i'm just trying to make sure we have a discussion and come to a consensus before we get going. you know, teamwork and all that fuzzy jazz. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:22, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

We could work TKF's idea subtley into the old Jew's historical narrative. Sort of hint at it without outright stating it? -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:42, 3 Mar

I'm just going to make it known that I support TKF's original idea, making it so that their intentions are to popularize themselves through economic policies. We could still make it a narrative using this idea. —Sir SysRq (talk) 20:42, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

ok, seems like we have an agreed upon concept, then. TKF, you want to take the lead in drawing up an outline? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:53, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm still unsure how the narrative should be (from the perspective of a neutral third party, or first person perspective of a professional economist, for example), but good to see we agreed on an underlying concept. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 22:17, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

i'm thinking the professional uncyclopedic approach would work, to contrast the absurd allegations. thoughts? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 22:34, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

I was thinking we do it in the style of an old Rabbi bringing knowledge to the non believers, but you may have a point. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:51, 3 Mar

Hmmm, the rabbi seems like a good idea too, if a bit stereotypical, but as far as I know it hasn't been done before. A rabbi warming up his temple by sharing with his audience the mysteries of the Jewish people. It could even be interspersed with little prayers and Jewish musings.

Actually, I love that idea. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 22:53, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

I think I love it too. Although just referring to them as a resource using supply and demand as a model, writing it very encyclopedic-like could be just as golden and not as stereotypical. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:05, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm gonna be honest here and say that I really want to go with the old Jew narrative style. The thing is though, it's shooting myself in the foot because I share Led's ignorance about how to do this well, and I want this to turn out good and whatnot. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:37, 4 Mar

I can help with that without using too many "oy veys" in the process. ~ 15:39, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

getting started

okay, let's move our effort directly to Jew, preferably without passing go or collecting $200. i'm thinking for the opening image, we should show our amicable rabbi...anyone have a good image for that, or another idea? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:45, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

Really looking forward to seeing what you do with this, guys. It's needed a good kicking for a long time - can't wait to see the finished new version. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:48, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

Maybe we should say some stuff about how Israel is only a tool in a bigger scheme to cause more Jewish scarcity or something. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 17:50, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

A possible image? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 18:02, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

We could say something about how the suppression and genocide of the Palestinians is meant to provoke retaliation by Muslims. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 18:44, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

Well it's probably not really suitable for this colonization, so please forget I even mentioned it. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 18:47, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

Too corny IMO. I'd like to see a "serious" Rabbi solemnly teaching us how the Jews are driving themselves to near extinction in order to raise their self worth. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:05, 4 Mar

i agree. we're probably looking for a kindly old jewish man. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:23, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

Maybe something like this then? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 18:38, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

Better, but I think he should be older and possibly in front of an altar (or whatever the Jew equivalent is). On an unrelated note, should we really be talking about the Jewish prediliction for stinginess? It seems a bit on the nose... -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:41, 4 Mar

Might this be of any use to you? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:42, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

Wow, thanks. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 18:48, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

• 
• 
• 

Found these three on GIS, perhaps they're more about what we're looking for. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 23:06, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

The second one makes me laugh without any caption at all! -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:10, 4 Mar

That's Rabbi Menachem Schneerson, that is )first and second pics). He even had an amusing name. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:53, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Great, it'll be a good opening pic. As the text fleshes out we'll think of context-appropriate pics from there. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 00:01, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Tone?

Are we going for jovial folksy old Jew or srs bsns old Jew? -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:29, 5 Mar

on the Jewish people

I have no idea if I'm on target, so I'm putting my ideas out there with hopes that I haven't just become the target. On the other hand, if I have, its not the first time I've been called Target. (Target aka -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:52, 6 March 2009 (UTC))

It's nothing personal, it's just that we should aim for consistency above most else in this article, and the economics and juice thing seriously conflict. There's no way we could keep both ideas in the same article. If you want to expand on that idea, you could go ahead and rewrite Orange Jews, or something. Go crazy. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 03:11, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

I hadn't found that article yet. Maybe this article should link to that one in a see also section. I think the drinking gold idea (which as I noted, is true according to Exodus) could tie into the economics idea though. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 03:14, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Behind on schedule?

I hope we can still get it done in time. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 17:44, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

No chance in hell. Still, I'd rather take an extra week and have it turn out than rush it through and have it be as crappy as when we started. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:26, 7 Mar

I guess getting behind a few days, or even one week, is still a lot better than the way Imperial Colonization used to be. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 18:44, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Quite frankly, I'm a little stumped as to how we proceed. Obviously, Moses concocts a plan to lead the Jews on a death march out of Egypt to thin out their numbers, but I'm having a rough time imagining the dialogue. Could use some Jew backup here. -OptyC Sucks! CUN19:00, 7 Mar

Maybe it's a Jewish conspiracy to make this colonization fail... -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 19:01, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Don't worry, the Jews will take care of it. In Jews I trust. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 19:03, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

I'll see if I can add some stuff, I guess. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 19:34, Mar 7

Suggestion

In the last section, about the future of the Jews, we might say something like "We've already started provoking a war with the Muslims by massacring some of those filthy Arabs. When the war becomes reality, the Western world will come to our aid and the Christians and Muslims will slaughter eachother. The Jews will be the only ones left, and in this monopoly, we will raise our value to infinity!" Incidentally, I just thought of this brilliant parody idea for Israel's war against the Palestinians. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 17:55, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Another suggestion

So it's obvious the Jewish population needs to be thinned out. But it may be appropriate to mention that they procreate like crazy. I mean, they reproduce as fast as rabbits. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 21:30, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Let's figure this out

Okay, so progress seems a bit, erm, slow. I knew I would not be a big part of this one, seeing as how I'm not at my house right now and my internet use is a bit unpredictable. I'm just not in a position to put in the man-hours on this one. However, next week I will be very available. Seeing as how this article is mostly an outline still and this was supposed to be done yesterday, do we need another full week to do this one? Again, I apologize for not being here to nudge you guys along (or even do some writing myself). —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:59, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Let's colonize! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 22:57, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Perhaps I should ping the lot of 'em and remind them that we're still doing this. Also, I'm assuming that we need another week for this one. Perhaps I should devise some sort of protocol for when this happens, because it may start happening a lot. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:02, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm just going to wander past and toss a useless comment in... Do we really want our main article on Jews to be a dialogue based Unscript type thing? The other major religions all have traditional encyclopaedic style articles. Also, if we had any balls this page would be about world domination conspiracy theories. /me runs off without actually helping in any way whatsoever... MrN 23:07, Mar 8

Yeah, I wasn't thrilled with the dialogue aspect of it. I wanted this to be straight encyclopedic style. But I haven't been around too much so I can't complain. Let's see what we can do with a second week. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:12, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

here comes MrN, wanting to be all conformist just because he's a robot (i assume that's the reason). anyway, i have 3 points. 1) yes, we are not close to finishing. this was a big undertaking, it seems a lot of people were afriad to edit, and we should get one more week. however, i don't want this to be like every other colonization attempt. we have to have hard, firm deadlines, or else nothing will get done. therefore, i officially propose a maximum of one (1) one-week extension on any colonization. socky, if you're up for it, i say go ahead and remind the colonization team (anyone who participated last week, anyone who voted on Jew) and tell them we have one more week, but they better contribute ths time or else. B) this is turning out to be more like a script than we intended, but i think it's a good thing. we can toss some ides around after the review (i.e., moving to UnBooks: The Story of the Jews and rediecting Jew to it) based on the review and some other input. we could also just move this elsewhere and try again on Jew later on down the road if there's a consensus to not put this at Jew. 3) always make your points in groups of 3 or elese no one will take you seriously. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 23:20, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

I too agree with not letting Colonizations go past a fortnight. However, this could lead to some debate over when the second week privilege can be invoked, how it should be invoked, who decides when it is invoked, and under what circumstances it should be invoked. For now, I would like to treat this next week as a normal week: plan things out, reorganize today and tomorrow, and then Wednesday we get to writing again. I'm off to the talk page for now to discuss this whole fortnight idea. Oh, and one more thing: this needs to stay as Jew. We're not going to make such a popular article a redirect to something else. Uncyc needs to have an article that just says "Jew" at the top. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:54, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

I don't see any problem with this current style

Since it comes along as the perceived yadda yadda old school Jewish debating style. This is also, limited to the forward and interludes part. Also, I don't see anyone else really doing anything with this article other than talking about it here. Is Colonization dead and gone already? ~ 11:32, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Seconded. As long as we keep it limited as such, I think it adds a bit of character. And no, I haven't forgotten about this. I've just been offline for a couple days. I figured this one was gonna be a little slower going from the get go anyways. -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:13, 10 Mar

If this becomes an issue with the majority of the writers, we can do "Jew" without the talky bits and "Jew - annotated version" with them. And there would be much rejoicing. ~ 14:15, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, my participation has been slow. But I'll be editing today and for the rest of the week and such. I agree with Chris in that this Jewish debating style needs to be limited, if at all. It's funny, but I don't know how appropriate it is. Mordillo, I didn't see your comment until you edit conflicted me and I'm too lazy to go back and change. So I'll say your idea is cool and leave it at that. —Sir SysRq (talk) 14:22, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Just for the record, I probably won't have too much time for this till about Sat so don't think I've forgotten. Team IC gogogo! -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:40, 10 Mar

I guess I see a small problem

The first and third sections directly contradict the foreword and second sections. That is, was slavery a Jewish idea or was it the catalyst for the supply/demand concept. Personally I say we go with the catalyst angle, but what ever we decide we should fix it. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:37, 10 Mar

Finishing the article

Personally I'm kind of unsure on how it should be completed. I hope the people that have worked on the article are less clueless than I am. I left some suggestions higher up the page, though I'm not quite sure they'd be of any help. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 13:18, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

I just figured we'd run down a brief history of Jews (twisted in our chosen theme of course) with the occasional section from Rabbi Shlomo. That's been what's holding me back most since I'm a bit clueless when it comes to history. -OptyC Sucks! CUN13:40, 14 Mar

To do

• Forming the Zionist entity (the creation of Israel as an official nation).

I'm thinking something like the Jews weren't persecuted enough as a scattered group of individuals, so they decided to form a nation so that the whole nation would have a target painted on its back. To ensure reduction of population, they pissed off the Palestinians and Arabs in the process. Not sure how to make this part funny though. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:36, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

• Jews as a people - maybe this could be done as Modern-day Jews since it comes at the end of the history instead of at the beginning. I don't have too many ideas on how to write this section, plus I notice Opty likes to rewrite what I've done so far, so maybe he can write this section for me instead. Don't say I didn't warn ya: Comedic writing is probably not my talent, as you may notice from my article attempts (listed on my userpage). I'm better at formatting and annoying anal-retentive detail stuff. I'd be more than glad to let someone else takeover this section for me. Besides, I don't actually know many Jews, and what I know about Jewish history is largely limited to Biblical history since I have a Protestant background. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:36, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Meh. I'm just trying to make it as consistent as possible. I wish someone would rewrite what I've done; my edits have sucked so far. -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:23, 17 Mar

AAAAAAAAA!

When will this be finished??? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:19, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm hoping someone else will join in and add more funny to the last incomplete sections, which may require a more skilled writer than me. Till then, guess I'll try to wing it. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 21:39, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

I was going to sit this one out because it didn't interest me a heap, but it has seriously ended up in limbo. o.o I'll probably have a bash at converting some bullets to paragraphs this afternoon. Gis ym esiladnav! _LOB 17:19, 20 March 2009 (UTC) Never mind, I was looking at the colonisation page, not the actual page. Although the article does peter off into short listy paragraphs towards the end. Gis ym esiladnav! _LOB 17:23, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Yes, that's how far we've gotten. I'm planning on giving this some more attention Saturday, but we could certainly use some help. I haven't been too worried with formatting and such yet, mainly just adding content. I figure we can put lip stick on this pig when we're done. -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:26, 20 Mar

it's been three weeks. the 'colonization' will finish at midnight; but the article will still be there to edit and improve, as we all can and should. the middle-end is rather weird, but we can fix that. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:23, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Modern Jews

Would it be worth wrapping up with a description of modern Jews - following the suicidal theme? Seatbelts are illegal in Israel, and children take part in the "run with scissors" race, instead of using eggs and spoons. The settler movement could also be worth mentioning, since they seem want to build their houses in areas that are as safe as a family of matches moving in to house built of fireworks, straw and petrol. I corrected a few typos, and added a link to Mel Gibson. It can't be a Jewish article without him. --Concernedresident 18:34, 22 March 2009 (UTC)