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Introduction by Rabbi Eich Dafaknoo Et Ha`Goyim ("how did we fuck the gentiles over"):[edit | edit source]

  • introduction to congregation
  • What we need to learn from this
  • what we anticipate for the Jewish people in the future.

Jew[edit | edit source]

  • Jews as a people and a valuable resource

As a people

Jews enjoy holidays so much that they created several new ones of their own, with various random traditions.

(list holidays here, with descriptions of each)
  • Passover (especially enjoyed by Grape Jews)
  • Hanukkah/Chanukah
(plus a few made up ones with fictional descriptions)
(and an excuse for celebrating (or not) the Year of Jubilee, as described in the Old Testament, whereas all debts would be dismissed and all slaves freed, happens only once every 50 years)
  • The Features:
    • Big Noses
    • Curly "Pube-Like" hair
    • Naizily voice

(Possible work into the holiday section: Jews started the tradition of drinking gold (golden calf incident) and have been fond of the taste ever since. See Exodus 32:20 if you don't believe me.)

As a resource

  • Jews realized early on the concepts of supply and demand economics and applied them to human life.
    • To raise their own value as a people, they selectively diminished their population
      • The Crusades
      • The Holocaust
      • Purim
      • The Babylonian Captivity
      • Egyptian Slavery
      • Assyrian Captivity
      • The Box of Sweden
      • Anything else applicable and funny