Forum:VFH needs your attention. Again

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Hello boys and girls, if the VFH status is not going to improve in the very near future, we'll be going back to an alternate day featuring.

Carry on number one.

~ 08:55, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, I've been pretty neglectful lately too. My bad. I blame business at work, Street Fighter 4, wet t-shirt contests, Reaganomics, the rain, Milli Vanilli, German people in general and USERNAME. But I'll be back with more of my patented againsts soon enough. Hooray! --S0.S0S.0S.0S0 11:49, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

NOOO! Not alternate day featuring! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:48, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Woo! Alternate day featuring! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:16, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Finally. I was wondering when we'd go back to the magic once-in-a-while featuring.--<<>> 17:18, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

That's how I always do it (late enough that entering it on the next days block makes sense). Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:31, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

what the HELL is vfh. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 18:46, 16 March 2009 (UTC) Captain Obvious to the rescue! VFH is vote for highlight (feature). Voters wanted! -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 18:49, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Thank you, ident-woman. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 18:57, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

You want I to do something about it? --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:26, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

By the way, my article is on VFH?!? You people have lost it. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:55, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Stop whoring, douche. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:08, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Thats not what you said last night my hunk of Canuck.--Sycamore (Talk) 21:09, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Well, I just figured Uncyclopedia needs inspiration, cause it sucks when I'm gone. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:17, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

If there's one thing I can't stand it's a Douche. Seriously, the celling is really low in my bathroom. MrN 21:25, Mar 16

Maybe we should create a Voter of the Month award to encourage voting. --Mnb'z 04:52, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

I remember suggesting that about a year ago. My balls were squeezed so hard I... Actually it was kinda pleasant really. The problem is... More voting? Also such an award would go against the principle of why people vote. It might encourage people to vote more, but that does not mean they would be voting "well". Any fool can pop by VFH, spot an article which looks like it doing well, and add their name to the list. Quality voting is the point... MrN 04:59, Mar 17

And I maintain that while there is quality voting, there's no real need for large quantity voting. It only makes it vaguely more accurate democracy-wise, but more voting in no way means there would be any difference in the articles that actually get picked in the end. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 07:35, 17 Mar 2009

Agree with Spang here, not more voting prizes, no more prizes in general. You either vote or you don't. And if we run out of things to feature, well, we can always re feature every news piece that Composure1 ever wrote. That will keep us busy for half a year. ~ 09:52, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

I can't imagine what a "voting prize" would be like. In fact, it would be absurd to reward people for simply exercising their given rights. I don't vote regularly, but I nevertheless believe the VHF system works just fine. If we really want see new stuff every day on the front page that badly, then why not feature more different things than just regular articles? How about letting users contribute piecemeal things to a single presentation of some sort? Or how about creating more namespaces for things that people here are generally good at writing and letting them run parallel with the more regular stuff? For some four years I have been seeing the same old main page, and I kind of wonder when it will be more itself and less Wikipedia's shadow. -- The Colonel (talk) 12:04, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

It sure sounds like you're asking for moar voting. Anyway, the problem isn't really a lack of material on the wiki, but getting the good material to VFH. --Mnb'z 13:30, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

The only problem is that VFD isn't on the sidebar where it should be. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:38, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

That's like a (crooked) judiciary system that goes great lengths to highlight it's right to have someone executed. We don't want new users to think "Oh they've added a link to the deletion hostel on the front page for everyone to see, because my new article will most likely end up there." Why not hang dead bodies on of the front page as warning to new writers? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 20:40, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

We use to do that, till those goddamn teethless hippies start complaining. GET A JOB YOU BUMS!!! --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:55, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Hea!

If the VFH status is not going to improve in the very near future, we'll be going back to an alternate day featuring! MrN 22:23, Mar 27

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:28, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

why do persist on spelling 'hey' like that? god it's boring into my brain causing all kinds of annoying. anyway, i think i have another article that requires a minor clean up and then give it a go on vfh. before that, i will actually vote.

one issue i might raise though: i keep finding myself to abstain from nominations recently, mostly because i don't know what the topic is really about. i'm sure others will use this excuse. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:30, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Woo! Alternate day featuring! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:16, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

I was always much more into alternative anyway. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 00:29, 28 Mar 2009

Pervert.--<<>> 01:23, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

A Message From Big Brother

As a result of the party's success in getting more people to vote on VFH, Big Brother is proud to announce an increase in featured articles from every third day to every other day. Congratulations everyone. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 07:57, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Shouldn't you be announcing an increase in the VFH ration from one number to a smaller number? You're sooo gonna be the object of the next Two Minutes Hate. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:10, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

No, wait, wait. I thought they announced an increase in chocolate from 10 grams to 20 grams, even though it had actually been something like 30 to begin with... Ahh, fuck. I can't remember this stuff. Maybe you're right. Take my earlier message to Winston, and have him put it in the incinerator. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 08:31, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Anyone got any razor blades? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 11:49, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

VOTE OR DIE!

—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:05, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

By Order of the Goa Tse Clan

By order of my clan, I command you to vote for articles more frequently. The reason why is because too many people are rejecting articles. If more articles get passed throguh VFH, we will give you lifetime memberships to join the Goa Tse Clan. |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 08:48, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

Looking back over the past month or so

We've only had a few stories close in on the 25 vote mark

21st century Nazis

Mordillo's Why? Watching House.......

Douche

What's with that? It's called the mega-abstain. We sure have plenty of VFP voting though.--    09:02, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

Abstain. I guess the argument is there, but I just wasn't feeling it. Maybe more support for the theory. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 09:07, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

Let me take this opportunity to ramble endlessly about something

As you may or may not notice, it's rare for me to have that many votes in the current queue myself. I abstain a lot. Why? Because it's rare for me to pass judgment on an article for VFH quickly. Unlike people that fuckin speed read through something and think they "get it" on every level and can make an honest vote, I tend to read, re-read and see if it "grows" on me before I vote. Occasionally, I do vote early but not very often. By the time I've made a decision on most articles it has either:

1) Already garnered enough votes to pass

2) Already been quashed

Now, if 12 or more people have already voted for an article that I later concur to be a trite little piece of fluffy trash (and almost nobody is against) I'm going to leave it the hell alone. If it's already 14-0 and I like it, I'll probably not bother because my vote isn't needed.

Conspiracy Theory

Just like the author of Sex On Uncyclopedia, I have my own ridiculous conspiracy theory about how people with the "Good Highlight Articles Are The Size Of A Fucking Greeting Card" mentality are actually creating an environment where that philosophy becomes dominant. Just read the sex on uncyclopedia article and replace the word "sex" with "extremely short articles with little artistic value" and there's my hair-brained belief in a nuttyshell.--    10:58, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

Personally I'm more bothered about people voting against and putting as their against reason "meh". As a writer I find it very frustrating when someone summarizes his opinion about the effort put into writing in meh. I don't need a detailed explanation, but a simple "I didn't like it", or "didn't find it funny" would be suffice. Someone writing "meh" and then everyone after him stating "as with the first one who said meh" (only in not may words) really irks me. ~ 11:31, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm sure by now you've seen how I reacted to meh about 12 hours ago. Absolutely no comment at all would have gotten more respect and nobody would have to listen to me whine, gripe and bitch. (It's all in your control people, not mine. I have absolutely no inhibitions and will fill a pair of parentheses with long, droning messages that nobody wants to read to boot)--    11:42, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

I hate all things nowadays, and vote accordingly. Pages used to be better back in my day, you see. Bigger, bolder, with less cursing. Funny and respectful of authority, dagnabit. That's how we did things back then. Not like you kids these days. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 13:02, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

did you have to walk uphill both ways to vote on VFH? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:04, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

No. The Law of Gravity didn't come into effect until the New Deal. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 14:10, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

As the writer of Douche, I think we should reconsider not featuring A wizard did it on 4/1/09... It'd be great! Come on. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:52, 31 March 2009 (UTC)