Forum:Uncyclopedia officially looks like a highschool project

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We already have a rediculous content warning which makes this site seem pretty silly, the reason behind (Im sure) the departure or retirement of some writers. We have had the same message begging people to vote (and also showing the average number of votes slowly going DOWN. We are now begging old users to come back.

While I can understand the motives behind all of these, the way they were written and why they are put up, is the product of users and admins who really care about the site. However, I can't think of a better way to advertise how much the boat is skinking to visitors. If you went to IMDB and say site notices saying (critics please give your score for movie...average amount of critics giving score is 100) and then the next week 90, then a week later 80, 75, 70) I would have the idea that the website is collapsing and I'd go search for whatever other or new site has more critics giving their score.

If you then visited salon.com and saw a site notice that said "salon.com is really hoping that all the journalists who left would come back and work with us again" ... would you really have a positive opinion about the site. I wouldn't. It would seem like they are desparate for their old glory days.

There are ways to deal with these, without having the website look like a highschool project. Its honestly the reason why I've been giving 5% of what I used to (and perhaps other users who have taken off).

Send individualised messages to the old users, what it is you miss about them, what you hope they would do instead of telling every visitor that most people have abandoned this site.

If you want to get visitors to vote, inform them that they can vote and help us pick the daily features, instead of telling visitors that we are short of votes (and therefore interest) on the site and showing a statistic that keeps falling every week.

Lyrithya put in so much work to have (at least for me) very well designed skin and very professional looking.

The way we present ourself is fundamental to our retention of readers. It can even be more important than content.

And also, my penis has been erect for two days and smells like steamed lobster. I thought you should all know --ShabiDOO 04:26, November 18, 2012 (UTC)

To be quite honest, a lot of sites (mostly wikis and forums) lose a lot of activity these days. People seem more interested in Deviantart and YouTube. I think we should promote Uncyclopedia on the famous sites to attract more attention-- TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 04:33, November 18, 2012 (UTC)

I'm going to have to agree with you. I have a huge banner with "uncyclopedia.org" on it, I can fly it at my doctor's office. —

(talk) (contributions) 04:47, November 18, 2012 (UTC)

Awesome B)-- TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 05:03, November 18, 2012 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia's failure is intrinsic. We are a one note joke: a parody of wikipedia that lies. The quality therein does not matter unless we can attract new users, and the only way to keep people reading that one joke is if people are intrigued enough on a regular basis to become regular readers, and eventually new users. Right now we can't do that because of Wikipedia's limitations in the areas of marketing (ability to make a mailing list and send out email blasts, make newsletters, or conduct limited advertising on other related comedy sites and wikis), the inherent inability to curate contact via our "strict" Wikipedia-parody concept (which could be loosened if we started hosting webcomics in UnNews, just to name one idea that I suggested a while ago), and the event horizon of losing current writers that has effectively and almost completely halted our production of quality content. We need to completely reboot the site, move away from Wikia, or just accept that what we've done so far is all that we've got in us. Honestly, it was a pretty good run. -- TKFU U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U UU U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U CK 05:23, November 18, 2012 (UTC)

The problem is

we were really good until Wikia started trying to make us child-friendly. -- Кıяву ^Тαгк _{Сойтяıвs} 2012-11-18T21:20

I agree, hence why I'll be glad when we GTFO of here. --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss ~~Uncyclopedian~~ Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 23:45, November 18, 2012 (UTC)

And that day is growing incredibly closer by the second... ~[t h s] UotM

23:59, 11/18/2012

57GB. -— Lyrithya ༆ 02:01, November 19, 2012 (UTC)

Jesus

You people are acting like Uncyclopedia is a cold corpse sitting in front of us on a coffee table. It's like I'm hearing a fucking eulogy. "We're here to honor the memory of Unny. It had a good run, but it couldn't stay away from the vein candy, and then one day it got hit by that runaway blimp. " Secession from Wikia? Fine. Shit or get off the pot. Meanwhile, quit being whiney little crybitches and FUCKING WRITE SOME COMEDY.

</rant>

Please don't ban me. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 02:11, Nov. 19, 2012

I love you. -— Lyrithya ༆ 02:31, November 19, 2012 (UTC)

GET HIM! GET THE HEATHEN! BAAAAAAAAAAN KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP !!!!!!!!!!!!! And change those f***ing site notices already. --ShabiDOO 11:57, November 19, 2012 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia is a ponzai scheme

Without a rush of new users, we are nothing, because all of our current users are leaving us, and nobody wants to come back. I am serious here: the only way we can stop the flooding of our sinking ship is rid-ing ourselves of Wikia, so we can do some real advertising! →L A B O R A T O R I E S_{02:15 19 November 2012}