Forum:NoTM drama: The Final Solution

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Now, I know I am not in the position that allows me to propose and imply this, but I have a humble idea for a final solution to the N00b of The Month drama question. It's really simple. Here it is:-

• no voting
• whoever gets a featured article or 2 featured pics during his first month gets a NoTM award
• multiple users can win the award in a given month
• the SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO WRITE AN ARTICLE rule is put to action
• no drama, no it's unfair, he arrived before me (and so forth) shit
• the award goes to the ones who really deserve it
• peace of mind

And we live happily ever after Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:37 June 27 '09

Didn't realize we were even having NOTM drama, but here's my brilliant* idea: Everyone stops taking a template on a userpage so seriously. The site isn't about getting awards. It's about contributing. And if you need awards to justify your contributions, then shame on you. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:39 Jun 27, 2009

I need awards to not only justify my contributions, but my entire existence. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 21:45, 27 Jun 2009

I think we had some drama last month.. Whatever. NoTM drama surely did happen in the past and will continue to happen in the future.... Or alternatively, lets just close all the award pages and keep UoTM.. Lets close UoTM, too Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:54 June 27 '09

I've got faith in people and their ability to play fair, though. However, attaching rules to something gives it importance it just doesn't have. When you get down to it... it's a template, that's all it is. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:56 Jun 27, 2009

How about this. We just have somekind of template admins can hand out to good noobs, call it a "Good N00b Award", call it whatever you like. There are no rules attached to it, as long as the user who gets the template is a distinguished noob with some great contributions. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:01, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

But what is there to stop me from giving it to the next vandal that offers me sex? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:04, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

My big cock. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:15, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

I'm beginning to wonder if there should be a banner on voting pages (at least for those that pertain to n00bs) that reads, "This award, like any other award on Uncyclopedia, is meant to be taken lightly. If you find yourself taking this too seriously, the door's over there" Or something like that. Something, you know, funnier, but along the same vein. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:08 Jun 27, 2009

There probably should be. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:12, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

I agree. But my case still stands Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:12 June 27 '09

My single issue with your case is that, in my opinion, adding more rules to something only grants it, or implies that it has, importance. There's enough drama over awards as is, ESPECIALLY NoTM, and the last thing we need is for noobs to assume it's more important than they already assume it is. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:15 Jun 27, 2009

Rules? What rules? I am proposing the removal of the rules and votings. Just ONE simple rule: You get a feature, you get a NoTM. No ruleS AND no drama Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:35 June 27 '09

Okay, but you're opening up the following cans of worms: It's noob of the month, so people may not comprehend straight off that more than one winner can be chosen; voting on featured articles is never done in a timely fashion, so there will be debates about articles that get featured around the time that the title of "noob" expires; who decides who deserves it?; there will also be debates about whether an FA is equivalent to two featured images (and, again, voting for these is done in an even slower fashion); and worst of all, there will be even more VFH votewhoring from desperate noobs who want people to upvote their article before it's too late (before their classification of "noob" changes). The votewhoring is probably the worst, as noobs can easily get themselves warned / banned / disliked by the community by spamming their article in ways they don't know are annoying. I say leave NOTM and VFH as two separate votes, or there's only going to be issues. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:44 Jun 27, 2009

• Why do they have to get featured to get NoTM? It's not the easiest thing to do and some people have strengths in different areas, not necessarily writing. If by chance they manage to get a featured article aren't they going to get it into their heads that every article they write is as suitable as that one? Wouldn't that cause drama in VFH? Them self-nomming every article they write just because they managed to get one their first time? Alright, you shouldn't look past those who get featured articles because it's an awesome achievement, especially for one who's only been here for a short while, but I don't think the focus should be entirely on featured articles.-- Sunbeam no u Have you been doing your ironing? 08:31, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

• If anything, I think that the opposite should happen. Multiple NOTM voting pages (only one of which is the real one for that month. Who will figure out the clues? It could be you!) and every featured page gets its own noob (like Brain had his Pinky or Jabba had his princess). To minimize drama, all noobs are automatically banned for a month after signing up, and to minimize whoring, they also get automatically banned for a month after signing up. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 16:05, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
  • Per Modus. But how about we ban everyone for a month to stop whoring and drama. --Mn-z 05:04, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

uh

What NotM drama? What the hell did I miss? - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 19:24, Jun 28

The Great Noob Uprising of '09, of course. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:55, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

No big dramas, yet. Just some preemptive precautious reformational changes.. And behold, for after two thousands and nine years after the Christ is born to Mary, ariseTH a great NoTM dramathon. And the LORD saw it was no good. And the LORD said unto the sysops: change ye the rules that govern NoTM, for they are a great abomination... The Necronimiminicon, Chapter IV, Verse XII Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:11 June 28 '09

No drama yet. Ok. So then why does this thread need to be here? - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 01:17, Jun 29

Dramatic tension. It's foreshadowing a past which didn't happen. I'm surprised you didn't pick up on it. It's practically cliche. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:25, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, in my defense, I am pretty dumb. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 01:30, Jun 29

You know what they say, "The best defense is a good blank stare." Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:42, 29 June 2009 (UTC)

That's a lie, I've never heard that.--Sir Sunbeam no u F@H KUN 06:02, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

Second and vote proposal

Personally, I really think that Mahm00shA has a fantastic idea. We clarify things, post it clearly, get rid of potential drama (real or imagined), and encourage authorship; sounds like wins all around. Let's put it to a vote. --Sir gwax (talk) 23:06, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

Vote: NoTM rework	Score: -3 pants, sandwiches, monkeys, and guacamole
Nomination:	Sir gwax (talk) 23:06, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
For Votes: 1	On account of the ducks: I also like this idea. --Sir gwax (talk) 23:06, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
Against Votes: 4	I do NOT like the idea of promoting writing by saying "go get a featured image/article". If anything, this will increase whoring tenfold. However, I am entirely for retiring NotM altogether. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 23:09, 6 July 2009 (UTC) I like the status quo. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:17, 6 July 2009 (UTC) I'm with Modus. Don't judge us, it's a beautiful love! Also, I don't think we need to change anything. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 00:23, Jul 7 NotM works very well from what I can tell. Depends what you consider its purpose is I guess... MrN 00:32, Jul 7