Forum:Chuck Norris

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If you recall, a little while back I rewrote Chuck Norris. As expected, it got positively raped by users. It's all been reverted and whatnot, but I could see this getting tiresome extremely quickly. I requested that Zombiebaron protect the page, and he did so after I showed him the history. My question to you, my fellow peoples, is what should happen now?-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 02:09, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

We should give Zombiebaron an award. Duh. -- The Zombiebaron 02:10, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

Agreed. Hows the Great Wall of China Award sound. /me stops to think for a moment... That could make a good award. We could give it to the best anti - vandalism guy (or girl) on the site (admins included). Please tell me if i accidentally cloned an award before I do this.--General And Min. THEDUDEMAN 02:20, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

Well, we could --

1. Leave the main Norris protected until people lose interest in him. Which may be never, or at least not until Satan goes ice-skating.
2. Unprotect the article and consign it to the tender mercies of cliché-loving Norris fanatics. Abandon the smoking hulk and give it up for dead.

Either way I would favor sifting through the database and cutting out irrelevant Norris references in other articles, so as to kind of lessen the toxic effects of the meme on the rest of the site. Kudos for rewriting a really ugly article, Ljlego. It's like walking up to a hornet's nest and round-house kicking it with your bare foot. ----OEJ 02:27, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

OEJ, if you sifted through the database like that, I would love you more then words can express. -- The Zombiebaron 02:31, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

You know what, ZB? I just removed 18 of them and nearly all the references were so random that you could write in almost any name and it would be as appropriate -- and usually funnier -- than old Chuck's. ----OEJ 04:27, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

Well, I'm sure you could probably organize "Chuckaside". Or maybe if I just mention it here, the users who are into that kind of manual labour will get the hint and start doing it themselves. Either way. -- The Zombiebaron 14:19, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

There are nearly 1800 articles which reference Chuck Norris. Nearly all the references I've viewed (80 or so now) have been utterly worthless. ----OEJ 01:31, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

As I recall, there was a Facts pages where you could probably let most of the crap slide ~

Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.

12/09/2007 @ 02:32

That there is. Thanks to you.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 02:34, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

You can hardly just overwrite one and a half years of work, and over 3,500 edits, and expect people to not edit the new version surely? It's a wiki after all, and like it or not, it's one of the most popular articles. Let it go where it wants to go. Perhaps this is the new plan, rewrite a popular article so it fits with what most people vote for on VFH, then lock it in that "perfect" state forever, because nobody can possibly be as funny about it after that? • Spang • ☃ • talk • 10:34, 12 Sep 2007

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did. Starry 13:57, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

Of course, Chuck Norris existed before the big bang. SillyGuy 15:31, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

You made this mess. You clean it up. Rewriting the page on Sir Charles Norris? Madness! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:42, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

As long as people aren't adding long lists of "facts" to the page, removing Lj's stuff, or adding really really bad stuff, I don't think we can really complain. Just revert the worst of it, and, who knows, maybe a funny IP (gasp) will come along and add something good. P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:00, Sep 12, 2007

Ah, Mr. Spang. You seem bitter. About what I can't possibly imagine. Why so angry? Why must you tinge your response with cynicism and spite? In fact, why has everyone lately been so....taut? Jeez, as you say, it's a wiki. It's not real life. Though this may seem off-topic from your response (which I'll get to in a moment), I think some people that are here need to take a step back and reevaluate how seriously they take everything said here. This isn't necessarily directed at you, Spang (indeed, I am thinking of the atmosphere in general as of late), but your response provoked me.

Now, as to your comment about "perfect" state. I only intend for this protection to be temporary, thinking about it. But, I'm going to postulate here. Most good articles on this site have been written largely by one author. In fact, the nature of awards such as WotM, NotM, and WotY is that the articles are works of a singular person rather than the community. Yes, this is a wiki, where freedom should reign for people to add what they wish to most articles. However, this is not without its exceptions, as evidenced by the inclusion of a protected page feature.

This isn't at all about VFH. I never planned for it to be. If VFH didn't exist, I'd still wish for this to be protected. The regular Chuck Norris page is not the place for crappy unfunny meme jokes, this gives one plenty of other options. Chuck Norris/Facts is a place to add one-off lines and whatnot, not within the article itself. The interest is to provide a coherent, hopefully amusing page to read, not to have to wade through a pile of crap to get to one or two good lines.

In closing, I'm sorry if I have struck a nerve, which was not the intent of this post by any means. I simply wish for the Chuck Norris article to maximize its possibilities as a good page, and I'm sorry if it seems otherwise. Thank you for listening.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 01:22, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Actually, Ljlego, you seem to be one of the most balanced and reasonable contributors to Uncyc. I admire that in a guy. Or a girl, for that matter. Anyway. After doing about 50 deletions of irrelevant Norris references, I do believe that as a meme he is even more pernicious than even I had thought, even. He inhabits the worst, most random, and least intelligent sections of the articles he infests. If the main Norris articles are written at the same level as the stuff I've seen, they should be sent to Encyclopedia Dramatica. Which would probably delete them for being too idiotic for even that awful site. I mean that! This is seriously dumb stuff!

But I am not being "taut" but, rather, firm. Firm, well-rounded, and...invested with that fetching jiggliness about the midsection that comes from drinking just a few too many beers over the course of the summer.

Yes, let's lighten up. Norris is teh bad, much badness is everywhere, but much goodness too, like Vegetable Photographer of the Year. Thank God and all good Uncyclopedians for that. ----OEJ 02:12, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Hear, hear. Is it just me, or did we go through a period (har!) of being excessively cranky right around this time last year? It must be a seasonal thing. --The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 06:01, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Well, you know how it is, with school starting up everyone gets a little cranky-wanky. Plus the debates over another FFW, and the regular site-wide flamewars. STOP IT! STOP IT! CAN'T YOU SEE THIS CONSTANT FIGHTING IS TEARING US ALL APART?!? /me breaks out a guitar ans starts singing "koom by-ah" P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:06, Sep 13, 2007

You mispelled Kumbaya. I hate you. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 01:13, 14 September 2007 (UTC) No, not really. Not that you care. Whatever.

Not as much as I hate myself! /me breaks out the same guitar and starts playing emo music.

It's impossible to stop fighting forever

So why don't we at least organize it? UnPolitics, anyone? -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 01:28, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

I have a solution!

OK, here's my idea: I call it the "BR Act". We take all the memés, tell them they're going on a class trip, only we gas them on the bus. We take them to a deserted island, give each memé a randomly selected weapon. If they stop fighting or linger in a "danger zone", then we detonate the explosive collars we've placed around their necks. They shall fight until only one memé remains, which will be crowned the supreme champion of all memés, until the next tournament. BATTLE ROYALE! Thoughts? P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:53, Sep 14, 2007

Can rabid fanboys/girls help the memé in any way? If so, this might serve as a useful way to get rid of said fancruft. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 02:05, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

I dunno. I guess anything goes, as long as we wind up with one survivor and an "edgy" new reality show to boost ratings. P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 02:25, Sep 14, 2007

I still suggest UnPolitics. Big Tobacco could sponsor the Battle Royales!-- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 02:33, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

Haha, memé. I'm going to have to start pronouncing it like that from now on. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 02:46, 14 Sep 2007

Oh, is it "méme" instead, or just "meme"? Please forgive me, as I suck so much that the oceans fear me. Or maybe they just don't like me, 'cause I suck. P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:55, Sep 14, 2007

Hmmm, that header put a LolLed in my head with an "I can haz solushin?" caption. /me pokes out mind's eye. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 04:00, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

I think I has the solution!

The Yello Dello! Ж WHEEEEE! 04:08, 14 September 2007 (UTC)